


Goodnight 'til it be Morrow

by CaptainMotgane



Series: Goodnight 'til it be Morrow Series [1]
Category: Cow Chop (YouTube RPF), The Creatures (Youtube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Depression, Eating Disorders, Emotional Manipulation, Implied/Referenced Terrorism, M/M, Mental Instability, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Possessive Behavior, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-27
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-11 01:12:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 129,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4415342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainMotgane/pseuds/CaptainMotgane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Without any indication that war was on the horizon, a vicious pandemic began to ravage the population after several missile strikes in Littleton, Colorado. The infection was aptly dubbed the “Larkspur Virus” as the infection caused branches and flowers that looked similar to Delphinium brunonianum to grow from the wounds of the infected. The state of the world began to deteriorate rapidly after these attacks as the virus - that was only intended to ravage the USA - spread outward uncontrollably with no cure in sight.</p><p>James Wilson and Aleksandr Marchant had been two of the unlucky people at ground zero that night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

He wasn’t sleeping, not really, but very few things could rouse him at this point. 

Everyone had left the office for the day, save for him and Aleks, so his surroundings were calm for the first time all week. It had been a loud, eventful afternoon, and James couldn’t find it in himself to stay awake any longer as he absently watched the streams of gold rays slipping through the blinds paint his desk. The sun was setting slowly, and yellow sluggishly cascaded into red over the horizon, finally letting the baking terrain cool down as night eagerly waited to spread its shadow. 

He would have fallen into a sound sleep too, if it hadn’t been for the cold breath of air that ghosted against his exposed neck, indicating that someone had walked up beside him.

“James?” 

James slowly cracked his eyes open to the familiar voice.

Aleks stood in front of him, his sweater was rumpled around the waist from sitting down for so long, and his pants were covered in crumbs from whatever he had been eating earlier in the day. Aleks looked the same as he did any other day, an unchanging, immovable object in his life – his best friend. It seemed as though he had something important to say as his brows were furrowed and he pulled restlessly at the uneven, frayed strings on his sweater. The eyelets having long since been chewed from the ends, a nervous tick of his that had become more pronounced over the years. James looked at him expectantly, trying to fight the urge to let his heavy lids win their battle.

Aleks sighed at this, his breath sifting some of the loose, brown hair that had grown long out of his face. However, as he readied himself to say what seemed to be something very important, his chance was stopped dead. He didn’t even have time to get the first syllable out as the sky lit up behind them and the whole world seemed to shatter under their feet. 

\--

There were no foreboding signs before this first attack happened, the world had been carrying on as it always had, frantic and loud as always. Trucks roared outside the windows, people spoke loud and argued on their cellphones and children carried on and threw tantrums over the things that they had wanted. 

Until it all just stopped, and nothing but deafening silence followed in its stead.

Looking back at it all, James would have given anything to hear the sounds he had once cursed one more time. He would have given anything to hear the sounds of jets roaring in the sky, the sound of people shouting on the street, and to hear the sound of his friends talking and joking as they always had. 

He would have given anything to go back and hear what he never got a chance to hear from Aleks. 

He remembered when it all happened all too well. The darkening sky lit up in the background, covering the fading golden rays of the sun and dyeing them wine red. It got so dark that the only thing James could see was Aleks’ dark silhouette against the deep red leeching in through the windows. 

He was about to ask what it was, but when the red quickly turned to black, James’ consciousness went with it. 

James remembered one moment sitting in his chair, his eyes slipping closed as the sun’s rays heated his black sweatshirt, and then the next moment lying on the cold cement with a metal pipe laying dangerously close to his head. He was awake now, more awake than he’d ever been, or ever would be. 

This was the marker for the beginning of a horrible train of events and a government conspiracy running far deeper than what could be seen on the surface. 

\--

For a moment he laid there, staring up at the grey smoke stacks that were tainting the dark sky in stunned silence, wondering where the building that had once stood around him had gone. Around him, there was nothing left but chunks of cement, shattered glass, and the flimsy iron supports that had once made up the building, now bent at awkward angles or missing entirely. He knew something was wrong, and there was something important that he needed to do, but the shock had done a number on him, both mentally and physically. 

Then it hit him, all at once, as his mind quickly raced to catch up with his situation. 

“Oh, fuck,” James cursed as he sat up, almost falling back down at the bout of dizziness that struck him suddenly. He had hit his head, there was no doubt about that – he was lucky that was all that happened considering the destruction around him. 

“Fuck,” he repeated as he continued failing to get to his feet. His hands were now trembling as he pressed them against the ground for support when he realized that there was something stuck to him. 

Whatever was on him was warm and sticky, and at first he thought it was blood, but when he checked he realized that it was black and too thick to be blood. He lifted his hand to his face to examine the black liquid, but passed it off as nothing and wiped as much as he could away on his pants. 

He had far more important things to be worrying about. 

It was only as he cursed again that he realized he couldn’t hear anything around him but a dizzying hum, and his own voice sounded like nothing but a shout far off in the distance to his own ears. 

“What the hell,” he coughed, dust cloying at the back of his throat like a thick paste, making it difficult to swallow. He finally managed to get to his feet, but he knew he couldn’t have been walking straight. His left leg felt numb, and he absently wondered if that was for the better. He was scared to look down at the damage that had been done to his body.

“Aleks?” James called, though he could barely hear his own voice. This worried him, if he couldn’t hear himself screaming, he didn’t know how he could hear Aleks if he were hurt or buried somewhere under the rubble. He felt panic rise in his gut as he searched frantically through the remains of the building, hardly paying attention to any of the other survivors that stumbled around in a stupor much like he, calling out the names of their friends or family. 

Just when he was certain he was going to go insane from the high pitched ringing that he was afraid was going to deafen him permanently, his ears popped, and everything around him came to life.

When it did, he immediately longed for that silence to return to him. 

The sound that filtered through was more frightening than he could have ever imagined, it was enough to finally gauge the severity of his situation. He could hear nothing but screams of panic and pain all around him, unfortunately for him, however, this didn’t help him in regards to finding his friend. He would never be able to hear Aleks’ screams over the madness going on all around him. He could barely hear himself think over the voices and the sirens. 

It may have been from hitting his head so violently, but he finally realized something that may help him. James fished into his pocket, hoping that his phone hadn’t been destroyed beyond repair, or had been lost in the chaos that had caused the building to collapse. 

James pulled his phone out of his pocket with a sigh of relief, but was quickly cut short when he realized how damaged the phone had been. The screen was so shattered that shards of it fell to the ground at his feet. He didn’t know if it would work in this state, but was surprised that the screen lit up when he turned it on. 

He knew he needed to hurry, after the initial shock had worn off he could finally feel how much damage his body had actually taken in whatever had happened. The shock had muted the screaming pain in his ribs, the wound on his head, and the deep gash on his leg, but the pain was roaring now, demanding to be noticed. He could feel blood pouring down his leg, but he didn’t dare chance a look at it. 

As he opened up Aleks’ contact information, blood dripped onto the back of his hands from his head. He was afraid of how bad the wound was, but the fact that he was able to stand and move was enough for him. He didn’t know what he would do when he found Aleks’ if he was really hurt, as he himself was having a difficult time getting around. 

The phone rang three times, and though he wished that Aleks would somehow pick up and tell him that he was looking for him too, it never happened and after the fourth ring the call went straight to voicemail. He thought that maybe he could hear it over the sounds outside, but it was obvious that he couldn’t. He tried two more times before barking out a curse and shoving his phone back into his pocket. 

“Aleks,” he tried shouting one more time, knowing that his efforts would most likely bear no fruit. 

James stood in silence where he was, watching as a woman ran past him, screaming someone’s name desperately as tears tracked through the dirt and blood caked on her face. James was on the opposite end of the spectrum, however, as he could only truly take in what was going on in stunned silence. It wasn’t just their building that had been destroyed, but everything. The roads were chaos, cars were overturned, buildings had been torn to pieces, but worse yet, people lay on the ground in various states of hell. Some of them were dead, motionless and cold, but others were alive, some missing limbs and dragging themselves along the pavement, blood trailing behind them. 

James took a step back away from a man who held the body of a woman who had been decapitated during one of the blasts.

However, just as he was about to take off at a run to check further for Aleks and to get away from the scene before him, he felt something tugging against the hem of his jeans. Initially, he assumed that his pants had gotten caught on some loose rubble or metal, but when he looked down, fingers that were peeking out through a crack in a heavy piece of broken cement squeezed as tight as they could, desperately trying to prevent him from leaving. 

The tattoos indicated right away who this person was. 

James dropped to his knees next to the person who had grabbed him immediately. 

“Aleks,” James shouted, moving the slate of cement that covered him. Though it wasn’t particularly heavy, when he saw how Aleks was pinned, he realized why he couldn’t move it himself. A second, obviously heavier piece of cement pressed into Aleks ribs, pinning him against the ground. It didn’t look good from where James stood, and by the way Aleks was choking on what appeared to be his own blood, he knew something important had been damaged on the inside.

Aleks could only claw at him from where he was laying, silently pleading for his help. James grabbed Aleks hands from where they squeezed the collar of his sweater and grasped them tight, “I’m not leaving, I just need to find something to get you out. I promise.” 

Aleks almost looked like he didn’t trust him, probably from the fear, but let go of James despite himself. 

James frantically scoured through the rubble, looking for anything that could help him leverage the large piece of cement off of Aleks’ side. He didn’t know if he could even do anything to move it, but he would be damned if he would leave his friend. Even if he bled out right beside him, it didn’t matter. 

He tried to tell himself, as he searched, that help would maybe come, but by the sounds coming from all around him, he didn’t think that was going to be happening anytime soon, there were obviously more important things to attend to, and many people who were in worse condition than the both of them. 

As he desperately scrounged for something to use, James pulled out a large piece of metal, almost too heavy for him to properly carry. 

When he came back to Aleks’ side, he leaned down beside him to tell him what he was going to do. He didn’t know if Aleks could hear him, as his pupils were dilated and not focussing properly, but he could only hope that he was prepared to move if he was able to lift the slab of cement off of him. 

James examined the wound the slab had created, carefully composing his features to make sure that Aleks couldn’t see the fear and the worry that he was feeling. Aleks couldn’t move enough to see it, and James was thankful for that small blessing. 

From where James stood, it looked like Aleks ribs had been crushed on his left side under the rubble, and judging by the dark ted blood that stained the area on his shirt – indicating that there was severe internal damage – things didn’t bode well for whatever organs had been under there. As he positioned the metal beam under the cement, he started to doubt whether he should even remove the rock or not. There was no telling how much damage it had done to his body, and there was a chance that when he moved the rock, Aleks would immediately bleed out. However, he knew that just leaving Aleks under the rock to suffer in silence and fear wouldn’t do any good for him, either. He needed to take a chance, because either way, things could end badly. 

“Ok, Aleks, I’m gonna try to lift it,” James said, preparing to bear his weight down on the beam. He heaved against it, and forced with all of his might, but as soon as he did he could just barely budge the heavy fragment of cement. He almost entirely regretted even moving it that little bit when he heard Aleks shout in pain as the cement lifted and then resettled its entire weight back on his already heavily damaged ribs. By the amount of dark, thick blood seeping out from under the rock when he lifted it, he didn’t have much time either way. 

James shouted out a string of curses, but because he didn’t want to make Aleks know how precarious his situation was, he kept reminding him that he would have him out within a few minutes. 

His best friend was dying right in front of him, and there was nothing he could do to help him but tell him it was going to be fine.

He jumped when he felt two cold hands rest on his shoulders, and he turned around to meet eyes with a woman, maybe 10 years older than him. Her eyes were frantic and panicked, but she offered him her help despite her own obvious fears. In all the chaos, he had completely forgotten that other people existed, good people, at that. The woman could tell that they were in dire straits, but she seemed to understand that it would only serve to panic Aleks if she said anything about his state. 

“Ok, go,” the woman said, barely giving James a chance to respond to her sudden appearance before she heaved and exerted an extreme amount of force on the piece of cement pinning Aleks to the ground. However, before James even put much of his own weight into it, the woman seemed to lift the cement as though it were weightless. Letting it fall flat on the opposite side of Aleks, who, despite having the piece of cement lifted off of him, didn’t make a move to get up. He was obviously very hurt. However, before James had time to panic about Aleks, the woman next to him dropped to her knees. 

James initial thought about the woman was that she had pulled something from using so much force on the rock, but as she began to cough and that same black liquid that had been on James’ hand before seeped out from between her fingers, he knew that it was something more than that. The black sludge sluggishly made its way through her fingers, dropping to the ground like thick honey. 

James felt himself backing up unconsciously. Part of him wanted to help the woman that had helped him, but another part of him knew that something bad was about to happen, and he needed to get Aleks and himself away from it as quickly as possible. 

As though things weren’t bad enough, everything was slowly descending even further down into madness. After a few more heaves, the woman just collapsed to the ground, body jerking every now and then. 

“Holy shit,” James said as he backed away from the corpse, unable to form any coherent response in regards to the woman’s sudden death. It was only now that he understood some of the screams were not coming from people that were in pain, but people that were running away from something in terror.

Whatever had hit them before was more than just a bomb. 

James hunkered down beside where Aleks was laying, largely unresponsive at this point, and put pressure on the wound in his side from where the cement slab has crushed his ribs. From what James could see, a good number of his ribs must have been crushed from the impact. There was no way he was going to be able to walk this off, he would need a real doctor. He fought back the urge to voice his dismay, and without hesitation lifted Aleks from the ground. He considered piggybacking him away from the scene but he knew that would only hurt his ribs and put strain on him. So, despite how hard it was to keep upright with all of his weight on his front, James picked Aleks up from under his back and his knees. 

Though Aleks wasn’t very heavy, James found it near impossible to carry his weight in his arms. Whether it was because of the wounds he had sustained, or because he had broken something he wasn’t aware of, he wasn’t certain. 

He took one step forward, and because it left all of the weight on his left leg, he collapsed to the ground despite all the effort he put into it. The impact made Aleks cry out, and though James was upset that he had been hurt, he was happy that he was still awake enough to feel something – even if that something had to be pain. 

James tried to ignore the black vignette that was eating away at his peripheral vision, and instead focussed on keeping Aleks awake. He tried to pretend that the screams weren’t getting louder and more frantic around him. 

However, when he saw the body of the woman that had suddenly keeled over next to him twitch, he couldn’t hide his panic any longer. 

“Aleks, we need to go now,” James said, holding down the panic in his voice and resisting the urge to drag Aleks to his feet. He was scared, he knew something bad was about to happen and he and his injured friend were virtually helpless to whatever it was. 

The woman’s body began twitching harder, like she was seizing, but her eyes remained vacant. Her body moved lifelessly, the sight was morbid and frightening. Something inside the woman before them was moving, pressing against her spine so hard that he could hear the vertebrae snapping one after the other under the pressure.

At this point, he didn’t even have the words the express the panic he was feeling. Inside he was praying that this was all a dream, and that he had simply fallen asleep at his desk. 

At this point, James was dragging Aleks’ body from under his arms, and even that was an extreme strain on his back. He felt his vision going black again when the thing that was twitching inside the woman’s body decided to move. 

It happened quickly, so quickly in fact, that James barely had time to register what was happening. From inside the woman’s body, light blue flowers began to sprout on the surface of her skin, and sinewy branches and vines followed in their path, breaking her skin open and painting the flowers and branches dark red. The once blue flowers had quickly become soaked in her blood. 

“What the fuck,” James whispered, somehow mustering enough strength to lift Aleks’ body off of the ground. Severe concussion be damned, he knew that he needed to get Aleks out of there quickly. The branches steadily grew outward, and moved almost as if they had eyes and could see, like a lizard. The strange, jerky motions that the thing made came to a sudden halt as James watched from over his back, and quickly dove straight for he and Aleks. 

James didn’t even have time to curse or pick up his pace when the branch lashed out like a whip and sent the both of them tumbling forward. If James hadn’t had a severe concussion from before, he definitely had one now. His vision was now tinted pink, and this time he knew that it was from the blood spewing from the wound on his head. 

“Aleks,” James called frantically, feeling around on the ground for his friend that he had dropped in the tumble. Aleks had already been badly injured, and James was worried that this tumble had finished him off. 

At this point, he didn’t even think he would be capable of keeping himself standing, let alone carrying Aleks to safety. 

He was just about to keel over and let the darkness wash over him when he heard it, gunshots, and the sound of people talking. Though they sounded distant, he knew that they were somewhere nearby. He felt the air shift around him as someone sat down in front of him, wiping away at the blood that no doubt was congealing all over his face. 

James had expected that person to be a soldier of some sort, but was surprised to see Jordan crouching down in front of him with a panicked expression on his face. Directly behind him his car idled, the only normal sound in all of the chaos. 

“Aleks,” James said, the only word he could form at this point. He didn’t know where to start, at this point, it was the only thing he was worried about right now – the only thing he cared about. 

Jordan directed James vision to where Aleks lay on the ground, where three people in Hazmat suits sat around him, hacking away at one of the branches that had managed to wind itself around his wounded leg and arm. He wanted to go to his friend, but he was happy to know that he was getting help. 

“We need to leave,” Jordan said, dragging James to his feet. “Now.”

“What about Aleks?” James asked, now becoming frantic as he caught up with himself.

Before Jordan could answer, as if in reply to his frantic questions, one of the men in the hazmat suits around Aleks turned around to look at the two of them, holding out his gun and cautiously approaching the two of them. 

“Was he touched by that thing?” The man asked, pointing his gun in the direction of the now charred and dead plant that had come from the woman’s body. 

“I don’t know…” 

“Answer me,” the man shouted frantically, his finger trembling on the trigger of his gun that was pointed at James’ head. 

“It tripped us, but it didn’t touch my bare skin, if that…” 

The man leaned down in front of James and held a flashlight to his eyes, seeming pleased with that, he gripped James’ jaw and checked inside his mouth. 

“Leave this area, now,” the man said. James couldn’t see the man’s face, but he knew that if he could there would be nothing but terror plastered there – if his voice was any indication of how scared he was feeling. 

“But, Aleks,” James said, reaching out toward where Aleks was still lying on the ground. The men in the hazmat suits had wrenched the branches off of his body, but puncture wounds were visible all over his body. 

“He’s infected,” the man said to him in a hurried voice. 

The man had said a few other things to him, but James couldn’t hear them over the sound of the blood sluggishly pumping to his heart. Even without the concussion, he knew that everything would have sounded drowned and distant. He could only watch as Aleks’ motionless body was haphazardly thrown into the back of an armored vehicle. It was only at the sight of this that James knew something was wrong. He needed help, he was bleeding out, he didn’t need to be locked up.

“Wait,” James said, as they closed the doors, “he needs a doctor.” 

“He’s as good as dead,” the man said. “The parasites will stop his heart in a matter of minutes.” 

James looked up at Jordan in a panic, as if Jordan would know anything more than him about what was happening. 

“Leave,” the man said, and the threat and finality in his voice made Jordan finally jump to his feet. 

“Just let us take him,” Jordan said, taking a slow step forward. “It doesn’t matter if he’s… Infected. We just want to take our friend, please. We’ll find him a doctor.” 

On the second step, the man lowered his gun and pressed it to the center of Jordan’s chest. “We can’t risk it spreading, don’t step any closer.” 

“Look, don’t…” 

Though this soldier didn’t seem like it, it appeared as though he was one of the kinder ones, because when another soldier turned to see what the commotion was, he immediately shot at James. He missed, but that was only a warning. 

“Infected?” the soldier called their way, pointing his gun directly at James’ head as he waited for the other soldier to respond. 

“No,” he answered back as he backed away from the two of them, keeping his gun locked on both Jordan and James. 

The man looked back at them and whispered, “get the fuck out of here, now,” harshly. “He won’t be the only dead person here if you don’t leave.” 

Jordan was biting his lip hard, but after a moment of hesitation he gave a sharp nod and turned toward the car, helping James get to his feet. 

The soldier turned his back to leave the two of them. 

“You can’t be serious,” James said. “You’re just going to leave him?”

“James,” Jordan said sternly, “get in the car.” 

James clenched his fist like he wanted to protest, but turned toward the car despite this. As he was opening the door with his head lowered, however, there was something in his tense posture that made Jordan nervous. 

“Don’t,” Jordan whispered, knowing the stubbornness of his friend more than anyone. James’ eyes were wide, and his face set, Jordan could tell that he was going to do something reckless. 

Before Jordan could begin to warn him of the repercussions or grab him to hold him back, James ran to the man in the hazmat suit, catching him by surprise and wrenching the gun out of his hand. In all the commotion, only one of the soldiers seemed to have seen it as the others were busy holding back gaggles of panicked and injured people.

James has never shot a gun before, particularly a military grade assault rifle, but he turned to the soldier closest to him with his back turned and held down the trigger, letting out a spray of bullets at his feet to warn them. 

He was surprised by the kickback, but held his ground despite it. 

“Take him out,” James said, when he finally had their attention. “Let him out or I’ll mow you down, so help me.” 

The two soldiers held up their hands in defeat, backing away from James as he got closer to the armored car. 

“Ok, calm down,” one of them said, the worry evident in his voice. 

“Man, he’s gonna fucking turn before we have chance to get him to the CDC, hurry it the hell up,” someone called from inside the car. This person obviously didn’t know what was going on behind him by the way he shouted at them. 

“Shut the fuck up,” the soldier closest to him shouted. 

James jerked the gun forward at the one who shouted, causing him to flinch again. James’ arms were shaking uncontrollably, he had never held a gun at someone before, not a real one, anyways. 

“Look, we have strict orders to keep the infected and bring them to the CDC. We’ll treat him there, ok? We’ll send him back to you after, I swear, that’s all we’re going to do, we have treatments for the infected there.” 

James knew that this was a lie to try to calm him down, as the first soldier had told him something completely different. James didn’t believe the tale they were spinning for a second, but the CDC thing, James knew that could have been true. The woman from before had died so quickly that he knew they would just barely make it back to the CDC with Aleks before he turned like that woman had. 

James was about to check behind himself to look for Jordan when he heard the sound of someone coming up behind him, but before he could do so he felt something heavy collide with the side of his head, and everything faded to black around him. He could hear the sound of boots hitting the cold cement, and the sound of tires screeching against pavement, but he could do nothing but lie there, dead to the world around him. 

When James woke up, he was in the back of Jordan’s car, far from the site of the disaster.

Aleks was nowhere to be found.


	2. Come, Gentle Night, Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> _James always grew quiet after hearing these words, and every time Jordan hoped that it had somehow gotten through to him._  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading this chapter I would highly suggest that, before you move on, you read the document I have posted about how the infection works, how the three mains groups are organized, and how things are being run. The chapter should give you a better idea of what is happening and how. If you have any suggestions as to how I should change this or make it easier to follow, don't be afraid to drop me a message. :D
> 
> Here's the link

**Seven Years After the Outbreak**

"Kain said-"

“Do you think I care about what Kain has to say about me, Jordan?”

“James,” Jordan sighed, exasperated at his friends' stubbornness. Though years ago it had been hard to handle at the best of times, it had now become so overwhelming that Jordan had been tempted on a number of occasions to simply give up on him and let him do whatever he wanted. Even if he tried to stop him from doing something, he always found a way to do in the end no matter how many factors were working against him. Jordan’s weak attempts to stop him only slowed him down, if anything.

"You know what Kain is like, please think this through."

James slammed his hands down on the broken table in front of him, hanging his head as he tried to take in what his friend was saying to him. 

“So you’re telling me that Kain is trying to cut me off completely?” 

“No, what I’m saying is that he will cut you off if you don’t stop wasting resources. You can’t keep this up, James. You’re fighting a losing battle, and no one here is ok with that, they don’t like it and they're getting more vocal about it every time you leave the camp.” 

James was quiet for a moment, scrubbing a hand over his haggard, weather-beaten face. He seemed distant, as he always had, but it was becoming worse and worse as the years wore on. Though he was still young, just barely in his thirties, small, almost invisible gray hairs were already beginning to sprout at the nape of his neck and around his temples. The wrinkles in the corners of his eyes also seemed to be getting deeper and deeper every day. He was wearing himself down, and he would die before he even reached 40 if he kept going at the same impossible pace he was now. 

Jordan knew that his friend was toxic to himself and to the people that chose to stay around him, and that there was nothing he could do to stop it, but that didn’t prevent him from worrying or trying to help. James’ endeavours were becoming more and more reckless as the years wore on, and his attitude was one that should have been the death of him years ago. He became more and more aggressive as each day passed them by, and it didn’t look like it would lessen anytime soon, but here Jordan stood. 

“And what the fuck do you mean a ‘losing battle’, Jordan? You think I should stop looking? Why do you keep trying to do this to me, wasn’t he your friend too?” 

“James,” Jordan sighed again. He didn’t know what to say to him anymore, as he knew there was no getting through to him. When James had his mind set on something, there was almost no way to get him to change it. 

“He was your friend too,” James shouted, loud enough that Jordan was worried the guards on the street would come running - it had happened once before. “So why the hell do you want to stop looking for him now?” 

“It’s been seven years, James, and he was lashed by one of them,” Jordan knew that it was pointless to remind James of this every time he forced him into another reckless mission, but there was nothing he could do. Jordan was an enabler, and James was unstable enough that he didn’t think he could leave him alone without feeling like he was leaving his best friend to die. He had already broken James' trust once, and he didn't want to do it again. 

James scoffed, “it doesn’t matter if they don’t want to give me any supplies; Kain needs me. If I get mad enough, he’ll hand them over to me.” 

Jordan fought the urge to roll his eyes at his friend. Yes, it was true that James was very useful to Kain on supply runs, but he was notorious for getting a number of people killed on every run because of his recklessness. Kain cherished him, but at the same time was fearful that James would end up getting the whole camp killed one day. As it stood, he had almost gotten them all killed once before. 

“He needs your help, but he doesn’t need it bad enough to risk the whole camp again, James. If they kick you out, how will you keep looking for him? You won’t have anything or anyone to help you. You’ll die.” 

James always grew quiet after hearing these words, and every time Jordan hoped that it had gotten through to him. However, right on queue, James scoffed and began pacing around the room. It seemed as though it was a coping mechanism of his upon hearing something bad had happened. He had done a similar thing upon hearing that Seamus had been critically wounded on a supply run – a supply run that he had pushed them to go on. In the end, he had lived and recovered fully, but the news hadn’t gone over well with James - it was just another thing that chipped away at his mental well-being. 

Someone so unstable and emotional needed to be watched at all times. 

“I can look alone.” 

He always fell back on those words when people finally decided to cut him off. _He could do it alone_. Yes, he could do it alone, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t get himself killed. A number of times he had almost gotten infected because he had taken off ahead of the guards on supply runs. 

“Look, Jordan, this is the last place I’m going to look,” James said. “I promise.” 

Jordan knew that was a lie, he had been saying that for 7 years now. Immediately after Aleks had been infected by the Larkspur and carted off with the rest of the bodies, James might as well have died with him that day. Aleks had been dead for 7 years as far as James knew, and James was dealing with a severe form of PTSD from the suddenness and severity of the incident. He felt like it was his fault that he had died that day, even though there was nothing he could have done about it. And now, with their steadily waning resources, there was no help for James condition. 

“I just need a few guns,” James whispered. “I’ll do this one on my own. In and out.”

Jordan looked up at this, “no, you’re not doing this alone.”

Even if he thought it would result in his own death, he would follow James. He had been there on that day, and he knew it would be unfair to leave him alone.

James looked up, the hurt obvious in his eyes, “please,” he said, “just let me do this one alone. That's all I ask of you.”

From Jordan’s experiences, every time James decided to go alone, terrible things happened. He would come back broken and wounded, he would hurt others, and even go so far as to start wars – albeit accidentally – with other camps in his search. Nothing good ever came from him going away on his own. And this time, Jordan had a feeling in his gut that this time, James wouldn't come back. 

“Why do you want to go alone this time?”

“It’s far,” James said, only increasing Jordan’s anxiety, “and I work a lot faster on my own.”

Jordan was slightly hurt by this, “you think I hold you back?”

“When I need to get in and out of a place quick, yes, you do,” James cocked a half smile at Jordan’s hurt expression. “Would you rather I lie to you, Hoardan?” 

It was at these times, when James would come back to himself - if only for a split second - that would bring back memories of how nice things were before everything had suddenly descended into chaos. It reminded him of way back when, when everyone was how Jordan remembered them, happy and laughing like time was never an issue for them. Now the only thing they shared were tears and distrust. The only person that Jordan still kept in contact with at this point was James and Dan. He couldn’t lose either of them, not now, not after everything they had been through together. 

“Trust me,” James said, patting Jordan on the shoulder as he walked past him. “I just need some time to myself to think while I’m out looking.”

“Wait,” Jordan stopped him before he could dodge Jordan's most important question, “how far away is this place, exactly?” 

James was quiet. 

“How many days are we talking here?” 

“Maybe 6 months.” 

Jordan fought back to urge to let his jaw drop, and could only look at James incredulously. “Please tell me you’re joking,” Jordan almost squeaked. "You can’t be serious - are you?”

“I said this was the last place I would look, didn't I?” 

“That doesn’t mean it needs to be a suicide run, James!” 

“It’s not.”

“Where is it?”

“Vermont.” 

Jordan stopped at this. There was no way that James knew. 

“Please tell me you aren’t being serious, James,” Jordan asked again as he pulled his hat from his head, the red was so full of dirt and so damaged by years of standing around in the sun that it now had a dull, yellow hue to it. Anyone who had never seen it before the outbreak wouldn’t have believed that it had once been vibrant red. 

Jordan scrubbed at the scruffy blonde hair on his chin, challenging James to tell him that he had just been joking the whole time, but his anxiety grew more and more as James stood in front of him, silent as he looked down at the bag he had already filled in preparation for the long trip. He had obviously been planning to do this for much longer than Jordan had originally thought. 

When James didn’t say anything after a few painfully long minutes and began packing his bag like he hadn’t said anything important, Jordan finally went off on him. “You realize that that is Luke’s territory right there, don’t you? Do you really want to start a fight with those guys? They know who you are James, they could pick you out of a crowd with ease because of the stuff you’ve done to them. Do you really think it’s a good idea to step back into their territory like nothing happened? As it was they barely let you go even with Kain’s coaxing. If you’re alone, they’ll kill you for sure this time.” 

James looked through the dusty window beside him, his dismissive expression very telling of how he felt about what Jordan was saying to him. He didn’t care, he didn’t care if he died while over in Vermont. That was the face that scared Jordan the most, the one that reminded him of how damaged James had been after everything that had happened to him, and how much he was willing to sacrifice in his search for someone that he believed had died long ago. 

“I can’t tell you what to do,” Jordan said cautiously, afraid to push James to the brink as he had mistakenly done before. “But I think it’s about time you started thinking about how your actions affect now only the people around you, but yourself too.”

James was already walking away from him at this point, his heavy boots making the dilapidated wood panels on the floor creak and snap under his weight. He made it a point to walk away as loudly as possible, trying to cover up Jordan's voice with the creak of the boards under his feet. 

Despite how much he wanted to turn and tell James to stop and remind him of how much of a bad idea it was to go so far into Luke’s territory, Jordan couldn’t find it in himself to do so. He knew that James would never stop looking until he found Aleks, and because, as far as James knew, Aleks himself had died long ago, James’ path would only lead to his own eventual demise. 

Just as James was about to shut the door, he stopped and turned to Jordan, “nothing either of you say to me will stop me.” 

\---------

Kain had been waiting for James, just as he thought he would be when he arrived. He stood in the doorway to his home with his arms crossed tight in front of his chest, a heavy frown making the lines and wrinkles on his face more pronounced then they already were. 

“No,” Kain said without a second of hesitation as James opened his mouth to speak to him when he stepped inside. 

James huffed, “you won’t give me any guns?” 

“No.”

“That’s funny,” James said as he walked over to Kain’s side of the table until he was all but five feet away from him. He tried one of Kain’s own tactics on him, to see how he would react. “As I recall, I was the one who got half of those guns for you, Kain. I almost died getting them for you, too.” 

“That’s funny,” Kain repeated James' words, cocking his head to the side, completely undisturbed by James’ attempt at intimidating him, “I don’t recall ever giving you those orders. You went of your own volition and killed a whole boat load of innocent people, so I would appreciate it if you would stop holding that over my head like you did some sort of saintly deed for me.”

James sighed, “’eat or be eaten’, wasn’t that something along the lines of what you told me before I left that month?” 

There was a heavy silence in the room, and as it was, the tension was almost unbearable when they were together under normal circumstances, but on days like these, it only got worse between the two of them. James kept his eyes trained on Kain, determined, so that Kain knew he wasn’t kidding about wanting to go to Vermont. 

“Look, James, I’m not giving you anymore guns. We’re running low on ammo for the outskirts as it is, and I can’t risk having some sort of breach, especially while you and Jordan are gone somewhere far.”

“Guns are useless for the Larks anyways,” he shrugged, “it’s the people that you need them for more than anything, and we haven’t had any people trying to breach the outskirts in ages.” 

“That’s what I’m worried about, dumb ass. The larks are far away, and they can only move so far, but people on the other hand – they have no problem jumping states if it means getting something in the end. Stefani’s been riding my ass from Florida for the past four weeks, and Luke’s been off plotting something silently as always. This isn’t the time to be jumping ship, James.” 

James was about to open his mouth to speak again, but Kain found something else to complain about. “Speaking of Luke, for someone like you who’s so self-important, you think you’d realize the fact that Luke’s only in bad standing with us because of what you did. If you hadn’t been here, we’d probably be just fine right now, and Stefani would probably be off my ass about land claims for once.” 

James sighed, exasperated. It was always a fight with Kain when he went to ask for extra guns. “Just a few guns, and some ammo. That’s all I need to get me by.” 

“Fucking hell, James, did you not just hear what I said to you? Don’t you have your gun with you?” Kain ran a hand through his long brown hair, sighing as he sized James up from under his long dark lashes that didn’t match his haggard face.

He was pitiful, really, driven forward only by the memory of someone who he thought had died long ago, and Kain had taken advantage of that drive for years. Because of this, no matter how much he tried to deny him, he would always end up giving into James in the end. He felt bad for James, and because of this, he would let him get away with virtually anything in the end.

Kain sighed, his chest deflating like a balloon, and at this, James knew he had won his battle against Kain's dominance once again. 

“I can’t give you much ammo and I only have a few spare guns here,” he mumbled, clearing his throat so he didn’t sound like he was being soft on him. He knew that if he didn’t give it to him, he would find a way to steal some and run off anyways, there was really no way to stop James. He would die before he let someone get in his way, and that was what made him so frightening, to both the soldiers and he himself. 

James always felt like cheering or smiling when he won an argument with Kain, but he held it back this time so as not to anger the man who could change his mind in a matter of seconds. He was lucky enough to be on his good side. He always told Jordan that he was going to cut them off, but he never did. James and the others had been with Kain for as long as he could remember, and he, Jordan and Dan were the only ones who stayed with him in the end. At this point, considering how long Dan had been gone for in his search for Seamus, Dex, and Kevin, it seemed like he and Jordan may very well be the last of their original group to stay with Kain. Kain’s camp was dwindling, and he needed James and Jordan more than he would ever like to admit to them. 

“I’ll be as quick as possible,” James said as Kain reluctantly began throwing several boxes of ammo into the green backpack he had brought with him. 

Kain looked up at him at this, his hand finally slowing as he dropped an extra pistol into the bag. “I’m serious, you can’t keep doing this, it’s dangerous. I already have Dan missing because he went looking for Seamus and Dex. You and Jordan are the only ones I have left here right now.”

“I know,” James said, growing annoyed with the same speech Kain always gave him before he ran off for weeks, "but I'll be fine."

“You’re going off without Jordan, aren’t you? How far do you plan to go looking for this guy this time?”

James grew quiet. He was surprised by how well Kain knew what he was thinking just by looking into his eyes. It was quite scary, actually. However, today, today Kain looked more intense than James remembered. He looked worried, frightened even. 

Kain laughed bitterly as he recognized the look of trepidation in James eyes at his ability to see through him, “you know, you go on and on about how you have to find this Aleks guy, but you never seem to think about the friends you have that are still here – alive and breathing – that are worried about you. How do you think Jordan would feel if you suddenly went missing all because you went looking for a guy that died seven years ago?”

“I’m not going to go missing, so it doesn’t matter,” James bit out, trying to control the urge to fight with Kain for his comments about Aleks. When in doubt, he always got James by cruelly bringing him up. However, this was Kain’s own sick way of trying to get through to James, and remind him that Aleks was most likely dead after everything that had happened to him. 

Kain opened his mouth, as if he were about to say something else, but stopped himself short before he said something he didn’t mean to him. He didn’t want to hurt James, he just wanted to remind him of the important things that stood in front of him every day that he seemed to manage to ignore when convenient. However, James not responding whenever someone brought up Aleks always made him angry. 

“For fuck’s sake, James, you even keep his clothes with you whenever you go on supply runs. This is going to get you killed, it’s making you sick.”

James grabbed the bag from Kain’s hands and threw it over his back, disregarding his comments entirely. 

Kain was going to add more to that, but decided against it when James turned his back to him “Fine then, just leave.” 

\--------- 

The trek would be a long one, and even with a horse it was already beginning to take a toll on him. He told himself that it was the extreme weather and the fear of being attacked making him upset, however, he knew that it was his own selfish decisions – and what Kain had said to him – that was weighing heavy on him, as it always had. To others, he always tried to act like he didn’t care, but deep down it upset him more than anything. James wanted to be strong, he wanted to be strong but he knew everyone could see through his front. Despite this, he carried on as he always did. 

_“How do you think Jordan would feel if you suddenly went missing?”_

Though he had pretended that those words hadn’t affected him in front of Kain – as he always had when the man said something less than pleasant to his face – he had had them on his mind since leaving the camp. They had gnawed at him so much that he had taken off during the cover of night so that he wouldn’t have to face Jordan in the morning, knowing that he might hurt him even more. He knew that it was cruel to do that to the one friend that had stuck with him through every terrible thing he had done, but he didn’t want to get Jordan hurt or killed because of his own reckless actions. He had already put him in precarious situations before, and he didn’t want to do it again.  
The other thing that was weighing heavy on his mind was the fact that Jordan didn’t even have Dan left at the camp, no matter how hard he tried to focus on the road ahead of him and the difficult tasks he would eventually face. 

Seamus and Dex had run off to find another camp after the moral decisions of Kain as he himself became more and more ambiguous as things began to get worse and worse over the years. Kevin had also left early on, before the others, to try to make it to the mountains to live because he couldn’t handle the “kill or be killed motto” that they had all been forced to adopt, Steven and Nick were nowhere to be seen as they had been in another state during the outbreak, and just recently Dan had decided to go and try to find Seamus and Dex after hearing tell of a small group of self-sustaining survivors that had made a successful living a hundred or so miles away from Kain’s camp. Truly, if James were to die, Jordan would be all alone. Kain was certainly not good company, he could attest to that. 

“Damn it,” James whispered, feeling the guilt sinking into his gut like a rock, unpleasantly adding to all of the other things that he had done over the years that had been less than good. Yet here he was, just adding to the proverbial pile of things he had done, and would eventually do. Even when he was far away from everyone he knew, he somehow still managed to hurt them and bring their lives to ruin. 

As he was so caught up in his own self-pitying thoughts, James just barely ducked his head in time as he passed by a particularly low hanging branch, and almost went tumbling off of the horse that he was riding when he saw a larkspur from behind a thick cover of trees that had begun growing toward the inner city. He didn’t have any open wounds, and he was lucky because he would almost certainly be dead or infected by now if he did. 

He should have been more careful, he was now treading on unknown territory. However, after so many years of being with the camp and hunting down other people, he wasn’t used to actually having to look out for larkspurs most of the time. 

James slowly got off of his horse, careful not to crunch any branches under his feet or scratch his bare hands on the horse, and ducked down behind the trees. Though the larkspurs couldn’t see, it had become a habit of his after hiding from so many people. It had almost become second nature to duck behind a high wall, so much so that he had to stop himself from doing it at his own camp during the dark, starless nights when the torches lighting the camp were lowered. 

James watched the sinewy strands of branches and vines whip aimlessly around, and the small blue flowers that sprouted on the surface of the said vines and branches raining down onto the ground, covering the greenery and painting it blue. It would have been a beautiful sight if he didn’t know what the larkspurs were doing to the greenery in question when they came into contact with one another. 

One of the branches lashed out and grabbed at one of the bushes he was crouched behind, and he fell back onto his bottom in surprise. He was lucky it hadn’t reached farther, because he could have easily been the green shrub that was now turning yellow and weary. He watched, almost in a daze as the larkspur drained the life from the plant, eventually letting go to whip around aimlessly again, forever looking for more nourishment to sustain its unnaturally quick growth. 

This larkspur was a new one, James could tell from the almost fresh body lying beneath it that it sprouted from, and the fact that the greenery around it hadn’t been completely destroyed yet. The young man who lay beneath the larkspur was face down in the dirt with the larks growing from his back, as the larkspurs had deigned to grow from that point in his body. If it weren’t for the larkspur sprouting from his back, there would be nothing there to make anyone think he was dead. 

James stood there for a few moments longer, watching the branches frantically lash out for the trees that stood around it, all the while causing their own flowers to break and fall to the ground. 

“Come on, Ein,” he said to his horse, who grazed calmly at the grass and flora that grew beneath them. His horse, ever faithful, came trotting to his side, lowering its head and nickering, tickling the hair at the nape of his neck. 

“Good girl,” James said, patting the silky smooth side of her head as he led her closer to the city and away from the trees. It was clear that a few people had died near the larkspur, and the last thing he wanted was to add to the growing pile. 

\---------

James had been a social person before the outbreak, that was for certain, and he very much enjoyed talking and being talked to. Now, however, he had grown used to the quiet only found in the deep woods – to the sound of the wind blowing through the trees, the crickets chirping for hours, and the birds in the trees singing at the early morning sun. He didn’t even think he could go back to the way he was before, when he actually enjoyed the company of another person. Because, in moments like these, he could sit and think for hours, undisturbed by anything or anyone, and he needed that kind of solitude now. He needed to sit and think about the things he had done, and the things that he hadn’t been able to do. 

A lot of his thoughts were of self-hatred, and though he knew that was a toxic way to be, there was no way to prevent the thoughts from coursing through his mind. The worst thing about it was that it wasn’t regular self-hatred that came from depression, or from something minor. The self-hatred was deserved, he had killed and destroyed many people and places, and had ripped apart families to get where he needed to be. If they had managed to live, they would have hated him as they suffered, so he never gave them a chance to do so. However, instead of imposing it on others, he bottled it up for the day and put on a face of stone, only lamenting about it when he was alone. 

It was good to be alone sometimes. 

He had holed himself up in what looked to be a relatively safe cement building, blocking the one door leading to the room he had chosen to spend the night with a wooden desk and a large metal bureau. When he was finished testing the door, he sat by the window, watching from afar as a starving larkspur lashed and chipped away at a tall cement building, as though it would find any sustenance from something like that. That was, perhaps, the one good thing about the outbreak starting in the city; the fact that, after a while, the larkspurs had nothing left to sustain them and couldn’t grow to the immense size of some of the ones he had seen in the forests. They were still large but nothing one couldn’t avoid if they were careful enough about what patch they chose and how close they got to the larkspur. 

James sighed and leaned back against the frame of the window, looking up at the stars that were almost completely hidden by dark, fluffy clouds.

He was close to where it had all started, and he felt himself become weary just from the thought of having to see it again. He knew he could make a wide turn to avoid having to see it, but it would be a pointless endeavour, and a dangerous one, at that. He hadn’t seen the office since the outbreak, but, considering that most of it was destroyed by one of the bombs that had been dropped, what had brought the disease to begin with, it wouldn’t be so hard to handle. He had done it before, he could do it again. 

However, no matter how much he told himself that he could handle it, he couldn’t. In the end, he knew that he would make the wide turn to avoid having to see the office again. 

\---------

It was, surprisingly enough, only nearing the end of his journey that things began to go awry for him. Though the first three months had gone by without any real problems outside of a few incidents where he almost hurt himself foraging for food and hunting, now he was starting to come across larger and larger camps and most likely even more dangerous people. If he slipped up even once, he could risk being found out and eventually lynched by a bandit. As it was, it was a dangerous task manoeuvering around the forests where people could be on watch – or even worse – a larkspur waited. 

He was now in Luke’s territory, that he could tell from the blue bandana’s that they had fashioned around their arms. Kain often had them wear green bandanas around their arms, but only when they planned on attacking a large camp so they could tell each other apart from the enemy. 

The bandanas were the least of his worries, however, it was the fact that Luke’s soldiers were known to be just as vicious as Kain’s that concerned him. The larger the camps, the more reckless and dangerous the people within them were. That was how it worked. You couldn’t survive if you weren’t willing the crush and destroy the little guy without any hesitation. 

Though he was partly happy to see the camps getting bigger – which usually meant some sort of active government building stood close by – his quest was becoming more and more dangerous. As he made his way further north, not only did the weather become more and more bitter, but the places were unknown to him. Getting through the woods carefully was a dangerous and tedious task, and he ran the risk of falling into traps at every turn. 

The hospital that he was out looking for was one of the last active hospitals that he knew of, and if Aleks was being held captive somewhere, this had to be the place. The CDC in Colorado had long since been overrun, as were most of them were across the country, and only few hospitals stood in their stead. James had seen them all, had pillaged them all, all of them save for this one. 

He was capable, he knew that, but Kain had engaged with the camps in Vermont a number of times before, and James had joined in with him when he went. If they saw him, they would almost certainly kill him. Luke didn’t have any plans to attack Kain, and Kain didn’t have any to do the same, however, Luke would take any opportunity he could to get back at them in some way. Particularly James himself, who had accidently killed someone very important to him. He himself would never forget that day, and he knew Luke would never forget it, either. 

“Fuck,” he whispered to himself when the light of a flashlight missed him by just barely an inch. He ducked behind the thin cover of a bush and hoped that they wouldn’t spend too much time in his area. Usually, when it came to heavily wooded areas, soldiers and bandits alike would only skim the area briefly. 

James felt his heart racing as he heard the footsteps getting closer and closer to him, thinking that the person had maybe seen him before he ducked. He heard the sounds of dry and dying leaves crunching under the man’s boots, and he steeled himself to reach up and cut his throat. If he so much as made a sound to indicate that someone was hiding here, there would be people tailing him all the way back to Colorado, and Luke would probably be one of them. He would have no choice but to kill this man when he got close, but he would have to make a strong effort to avoid him so as not to tip them off about his whereabouts. 

Just as the footsteps drew close enough behind him that he could feel the wind shifting around, James shot out of the brush to grab the man, dragging him back down with him. The man barely managed to let out one more gasp of air as he drew the blade of his knife across the man’s throat in one quick motion, holding his mouth and nose closed until he stopped thrashing around in his arms. 

As he laid the body down on the ground, positioning him well behind the bush so he wouldn’t be found immediately, he felt sweat bead on his forehead. There was no escaping being found now, eventually this body would be found and they would know that someone had infiltrated, and someone who had been quick enough to kill a man before he could even call out for help.

James stood up quickly and made his way deeper into the forest, being careful of avoiding people and larkspurs alike. It seemed that the security around the area was sparse, so he could make his way around the hospital fairly easily, but it would be making it inside the place that would be difficult. There would be heavy security in the area. He had learned the hard way that heavy security didn’t always necessarily mean that there was something going on inside, however, and more often than not it was someone rich and powerful – like a politician – that was being hidden from the rugged outdoors.

James could only hope that he would find actual doctors in this one, however, he felt himself losing hope the closer he got. After seven years, was there really a good chance that he would find Aleks? 

Realistically, James knew, deep down that there were almost a zero percent chance that Aleks was still alive somewhere. However, that was the one thing keeping him going through this. James hadn’t seen his turn, so there was a chance, a very small, almost impossible chance that Aleks was still alive. 

So long as that miniscule chance remained, James would keep looking until he drew his last breath. 

James lowered his head as he made his way through the darkness, the hospital was getting closer and closer. Though it was good that he was getting closer, he knew that when he reached the outside of the hospital things wouldn’t be so easy. If someone important was inside, the place would be heavily guarded, and most likely by Luke’s men. If he was seen by them, or worse, his identity was recognized, he would have less than 10 minutes to quickly scan the place for whatever or whoever they were hiding in there. There was no way he could accurately look around in that short amount of time, considering the massive size of the building. 

\---------

He could see the chipped brick walls of the hospital from where he stood hidden in the thick foliage, vines were crawling up the sides sluggishly after so many years of no maintenance, and the building looked like it would soon collapse despite it being made of solid stone. 

As he looked at its menacing size, he knew that he couldn’t whip through there in record breaking time like he normally did. He needed to sneak in if he really wanted to be able to scope the place out. It was at times like these that he was happy that he was all alone, getting in and out of there would be a difficult task, but with another person trailing behind him it would be near impossible. He didn’t need any more blood on his hands. 

James ducked as a flashlight shone over his head again, lucky that the flora was incredibly thick around the outskirts. It was a mixed blessing, however, as the guards were more cautious of every little creak and sound that came out of the trees. If a tree happened to creak in his direction from the wind, he might be in trouble. 

As he eyed up the building, his best bet was the second floor window, which was already chipped and cracked. The front doors wouldn’t do as he could see the dark silhouettes of guards standing inside them, waiting to mow down intruders that somehow made it past the first set of guards on the outside. 

He thought it stupid to guard a place like that rather than the windows which taller people would find ease with reaching considering the immense overgrowth that would provide leverage for them. Not many people would be dumb enough to go for the front door. If Jordan was with him, he could have easily reached the ledge and pull himself through it without as much as a problem. The only real problem, however, was the pieces of the window that still remained intact. He counted on the inside of the building being big enough that no one would hear, but there was no telling if that would be the case in this situation. 

He only had a minute to decide, however, as the guard that was blocking the corner of the building – the only inefficiently guarded portion of the hospital – was turning to go the other way. He knew that it would be tricky, but he would at least need to try it. His long journey would have been all for naught if he ended up getting caught and eventually killed by Luke in a no doubt torturous way – that was if he chose to let him die at all. 

“Fuck it,” James thought as he slowly made his way out of the foliage that was so dense the heavy smells began to cloy at the back of his throat, causing him to feel the need to clear his throat. The guard was far enough that he wouldn’t hear or see James in the darkness unless he happened to turn around and point his flashlight at him. Though it was dangerous, this was as good as it was going to get for him, at this point. The guards were being lazy, taking languid steps as they checked the perimeter. They probably hadn’t had a breach in some time, and we’re getting slack with how carefully they watched the building. 

Just as he was nearing the walls of the hospital however, something unexpected happened to him. 

Though James would have considered himself fairly smart and stealthy, he was never great at coming up with another plan on the spot like Jordan was. Jordan seemed to go into a situation packed with a number of backup plans, whereas James would run in with just one, and hold out hope that nothing would go wrong. It usually didn’t, but if it did, he could always count on Jordan to back him up. 

Now he was all alone. 

James heard the person coming from behind, but didn’t have a chance to even turn around before they dragged him flat to the ground. He heard the sound of a knife being pulled from a sheath, but was lucky enough to outdraw the person who had pulled him down to the soggy ground, maneuvering his arms around behind him to quickly cut their throat. Though it silenced the person, he laid down flat, hoping that none of the other guards had heard the scuffle. 

He hadn’t had a plan for this kind of situation at all outside of planning on running away at the first sign of danger. But now that he knew that one soldier had come from behind, there was no telling if others weren’t back there waiting for him to go running back. They must have found the body much earlier than he had anticipated. He was, no doubt, completely surrounded by them. 

He knew that it had been too quiet to be normal, especially in an area so heavily populated by guards and bandits alike. If he could get into the hospital quickly and escape the guards that were in front of the hospital, they might think he ran off somewhere into the woods

“Fuck it,” James said, scrambling to his feet and giving the area around him a quick look before running for the window that he had originally intended to climb through. If there was one thing he was good at, it was snap decisions. 

James stood slowly, and made a quick run for the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like to send feedback anonymously or if you want to suggest something to me, just drop me a quick message on tumblr!


	3. Kill the Envious Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _James sheathed his knife once more, watching as the pool of blood reached his own feet, soaking the ends of his battered sneakers._

As he got closer to the window, he knew that if he could pull himself up quickly enough he could climb in and run through the hospital to hide himself from the soldiers. Though he had wanted to climb to the top floor and work his way down to the basement when he got inside, he didn’t have that option anymore. He didn’t have the time to be picky – he needed to be sneaky, and that required slowly making his way through the hospital while trying to duck and dodge the soldiers at the same time. If he was lucky and they hadn’t recognized his face, these soldiers would probably be under the assumption that he was some rogue bandit looking for his next fix. He had to work under the assumption that if he stayed away from the depositories in the hospital, there was a chance he could pull this off without coming out of there too battle scarred, or worse yet, not coming out of there at all. 

When James got to his feet and ran for the building, he pulled the hood of his makeshift cloak – covered liberally in the coarse and dark fur of a black bear - over his head, making sure to keep his face hidden in the darkness it provided. The moon was working in his favour this time, shining bright against his back but keeping his face hidden even further in the shadows.

As he had thought, as soon as he ran out of the woods he was followed quickly by a slew of bullets that came a little too close for comfort. It was obvious that these guards had been trained to be good shots, as the soldiers from before could barely even get a bullet in the ground anywhere near him. This time, however, he could actually feel the heat from them as they whizzed past him from all directions. They weren’t quite making their mark, but James wasn’t an idiot, he knew they weren’t shooting to kill. They wanted to know who it was that was trying to break into the hospital. 

He had almost made it around the corner when a bullet got him in the calf, causing him to come to a jolting halt at the incredible pain that ripped through his body, lighting his nerves on fire. He could tell, just from the pain he experienced and the hollow thudding sound that resounded from the bullet coming into contact with his bones that the leg was almost useless now, especially with the bullet still lodged in his soft flesh. 

Still, despite the roaring pain he was feeling, he bit through the pain and used the leg in question to get himself up to the window. He knew he wouldn’t be able to walk normally on it until he got the bullet out and sutured the wound, but he unfortunately didn’t have the time to stop and take care of that problem. 

He’d been shot before – many times before – but never in such a troubling area. 

To survive, the one thing you needed the most was the ability to run fast, and now he didn’t even have that to carry him. His only salvation was that the bullet would keep most of the blood in, and it wouldn’t drip onto the floor and give his position away. 

James pulled himself up, one of his palms getting nicked on some shattered glass that remained in the broken window. He hauled himself up despite this pain, however, and fell through the window without making too much noise outside of a groan as the impact jostled the bullet inside his leg. In response to this, he rolled onto his side to avoid smearing any blood on the ground where he landed, though he doubted that mattered much at this point. All the guards had most likely been alerted at this point, and they would be scouring the hospital for any signs of him. 

Despite how much he wanted to tell himself he wouldn’t bleed all over the place as he limped down the hallway, when he stood and began running for the exit doors that led to the upper floors, he felt himself becoming lightheaded from the blood tracking down his leg and leaving long, dark red streaks on the inside of his jeans. 

He would die here, or near here, of that he was now almost certain. There was nowhere to go now, and the soldiers would be on constant lookout any sign of him. He couldn’t run, he couldn’t see straight, and his ample supply of bullets had been getting lower and lower as each day passed. He had done well to conserve them over time, but there were times when he had been forced to use them to protect himself. 

He shoved the doors to the stairwell open hard and almost threw himself up the stairs, trying to hold his calf steady as he ran, which proved to be harder than it seemed. The last thing he wanted was for the bullet to dislodge and cause his kneecap to pop. Then he would really be in deep waters. 

The emergency stairwell that he had entered looked as though it was prepared to collapse, but James careened up them despite his own worries about the support the metal beams could offer him. Perhaps it was the bullet wound causing him to bleed out making him reckless, or maybe it was the fact that he knew he would soon be dead, but he hardly paid attention to anything going on around him anymore. 

When James reached the top floor, he busted through the doors without putting much thought into his actions. He was working on fumes now, so it was lucky that he even managed to get the doors open to begin with. 

He saw a guard talking to someone on a radio, and though he had made a lot of noise, he appeared not to have heard anything as he was momentarily distracted by whoever was on the radio. He continued on tracking around the room, carefully looking around himself for any intruders.

“I know, I will,” he said into the radio, his eyes shifting around the room when James’ feet slipped from beneath him and scuffed the floor, “I will keep you updated, sir - over.” 

His gun was held close, and his radio pressed close to his face, his thumb on the talk button to alert the others if anything seemed out of the ordinary. Even if James shot the thing out of his hand, he still ran the risk of getting caught, as the soldier had clearly been ready for an attack at any moment. James, however, was prepared to take the chance. He couldn’t get around the man and take him by surprise as the room was far too narrow, so he needed to hope that he could get the radio away from him and kill him before he could react to what was happening. 

James quickly put the silencer on his gun, making sure his head wasn’t visible over the overturned gurney that he was hiding behind. He held the gun close to his chest as he aimed it at the man’s hand. If he missed even once, he would be caught. 

James lined the gun up and shot, successfully hitting the radio and causing the thing to break into tiny pieces as it fell to the ground beside the man’s feet. Before the soldier even had time to react, James jumped over the fallen gurney before him and shot the man in the head. It had been a quick and painless death – more than any of them deserved. 

James ran past him, trying his best to keep quiet but also trying to remember the fact that he didn’t have much time to work with here. If he passed out from blood loss, none of this would matter anymore because eventually he would be caught. James felt a chill run up his spine as cold sweat tracked down his the curve of his back. 

He didn’t have much time to work with. 

James slowly pushed open the next set of double doors. He was quickly realizing that most areas of the hospital were intentionally blocked off because of dilapidation, and he was happy for this because it meant he had less areas to check, but worried because that meant it was less likely that he would find Aleks in a place like this. 

The more he thought about it, he realized that he was most likely in the domain of some higher up politician from the Vermont region – not that he cared about that. Worst of all, however, was that he knew if he couldn’t find Aleks here, then that meant Aleks had certainly died. 

James felt himself becoming less and less optimistic – his chest beginning to tighten painfully as he realized he would need to come to terms with this eventually – as he pushed through the final set of doors on the upper floor. He came to a very slow halt when he realized all the soldiers were, for whatever reason, on the very top floor. That was probably where the patients were, or better yet, the politician that they were hiding. 

He was lucky this time, when he came to a set of blocked off, cement stairs. There stood two soldiers, in the middle of suiting up right in front of him. They had obviously decided to take a break and had left themselves vulnerable as a result. The furthest soldier from him hadn’t even pulled his pants up from around his ankles, and sat at the edge of the blocked stairs, a smoke hanging out of his mouth as he casually loaded his gun. 

They both looked at him with twin shocked expressions on their faces when he came through the doors, standing still as they weren’t sure of what they should do. They didn’t even have time to react to the situation. 

James shot the one furthest from him, and grabbed the one standing almost directly in front of him by the collar of his shirt. He pulled his knife free from the holster on his hip and held it to the man’s throat. 

“Who are you guys hiding here?” 

And that was the most important question. If he found out that it was just some politician or doctor, he would be able to leave quickly and not put himself in any more danger. 

The man barked a laugh in James’ face, letting his head loll to the side as he looked at James with a smirk on his face. 

“Man, Luke wasn’t kidding when he said you would show up here eventually. You’ve got some balls coming here, man.” 

James pressed the knife closer to the man’s throat, watching as a bead of blood breached the wound he made and sluggishly track down the blade of his knife. 

He didn’t need to say any words to get the point across that he was serious, but the man seemed dismissive. They had been trained well, obviously, as this one didn’t seem to have any plans of telling James anything. He knew who James was, obvious by the statement, then that meant he knew of the things he had done and was capable of. This man knew James would kill him without flinching, and yet he laughed in his face. 

“You were going to kill me anyways,” the man said, staring into James eyes unflinchingly. “Why should I tell a monster like you anyth-” 

James bit down on his bottom lip, drawing the blade deep across the man’s throat without letting him finish the statement. He let the man’s limp body drop to the ground, and watched as the blood steadily leaked, thick and black, from his throat. 

James sheathed his knife once more, watching as the pool of blood reached his own feet, soaking the ends of his battered sneakers. He wasn’t going to get anything out of these men because Luke had chosen men that had nothing left to lose to be his most important guards. They didn’t care if they died, just like James. 

James cursed, running his hand through his hair as he looked at all the areas that had been blocked off. As he checked through, successfully avoiding the dead guards lying on the ground and taking one of their guns as he did so, he took a sharp turn when he saw a room full of soldiers coming his way and entered a dark room to his left, lit only by a few lights. It had taken him a moment to realize that this room was not a regular room, but an operating room. 

James walked over to the gurney, still stained with blood – both fresh and old – and he felt his heart jump into his throat. They obviously weren’t hiding a politician here, that much was obvious, unless he had hurt himself and had required some surgery by chance. But, considering how primitive all the equipment looked, and dangerous to boot, he didn’t think they were working on anyone important like that. The leather straps, double bound, were indication enough that the person they were working on didn’t want to be there. 

James crouched down to the look at the blood that had spattered the floor, realizing that some of it was old like the blood on the gurney, and could have been from weeks – even months – before. Whoever the person was that they were working on, they had caused enough trauma to their body for blood to leak down onto the floor more than once.

He saw something darker however, something that caught the faint light, sitting on the ground opposite to where he crouched before the blood. He stood up and made his way over to it, careful to avoid hitting the operating table and jostling the supplies and instruments around in the process. When he ducked down to see what it was, he felt his blood begin running cold, and goosebumps growing on his body. 

On the ground lay several flowers from a larkspur, floating around on the surface of the blood that had dripped – no, poured – onto the other side of the operating table. 

James was beginning to feel sick at the sight, and he stood up quickly, backing away from the scene of whatever had happened here. Though he tried to pass the fear and confusion off on the wound on his leg, he wouldn’t lie to himself – this sight scared him, it scared him because those were flowers from a larkspur, but somehow, there was no larkspur growing in the area. If the person already had flowers sprouting from them, then it should have been impossible to move them as it would have begun growing at an impossible rate immediately. 

They were doing something terrible here, and what that was, James wasn’t entirely sure. 

James made it back to the first floor and heard the ruckus going on outside, hearing soldiers running around desperately trying to find him as they discovered the bodies of the three dead soldiers one by one. He quickly ran down the stairs leading to the dank and groggy basement, pleased when he heard a number of the soldiers running for the top floors where he had killed the others. If he was lucky, only a few would come down and he would be able to make quick work of them if they were alone.

Though he knew that there was a chance that there would be soldiers on the other side of the door, he burst through them despite himself as he knew it would become almost unbearable to walk very shortly. He already felt himself becoming weak in the knees from the pain. He knew that he couldn’t look around for anything in the hospital just yet, but if he was lucky he would be able to find a depository with some kind of antibiotics that would at least clean his wound and stop some of the pain with when he decided to take the bullet out. 

James limped when he was finally in the basement, being careful to not let his blood drip onto the floor. Though that would soon become impossible, particularly when he finally managed to take the bullet out, he wanted to cover his tracks for as long as he possibly could. As it was, he had spared himself some time – albeit a small amount – by killing a few of their soldiers upstairs. Because most important things were hid up there and because there were many empty rooms, they would be busy skimming the area for him for a while. 

From above him, he heard the sound of heavy boots hitting the cold, tiled floors. So far, he didn’t hear anyone coming for the basement, but it wouldn’t be long before at least a few soldiers came to check to see if he had slipped down into the basement. 

James tried to put weight on the leg again and almost shouted at the blinding, burning pain that ripped through his leg when he did it. The bullet was lodged in a difficult spot, it would take a long time to heal, and it probably would never be the same as it was before. At this point, because he had run on the damaged leg so much, he had probably torn up some of the soft tissue in his knee and done irreparable damage to his leg in the process.

James lugged himself over to where he could see the dispensary doors, trying to drag his leg behind him as quietly as he possibly could with all the fallen leaves and garbage covering the dirty floor. It was clear that nothing much had gone on in a long while in the basement. 

When he saw the door in front of him with a large dispensary sign on it, he silently thanked whatever god there may be for it and pushed through. 

_________

“Get him downstairs, now,” Geoff shouted at the doctors who all glared in his direction when he got too close to their patient. 

He thought it disgusting and unfair that they should act so pitiful and protective considering the fact that they had no qualms about hurting the man that lay on the cot. He was completely unresponsive at the best of times and the only time he was awake was when they were hurting him. 

“Why,” the head surgeon asked, her eyes burning from behind her surgical mask. 

“One of Kain’s fucking dogs breached,” he shouted at her, his frustration leaking over the top. “Luke told us this was going to happen, but fuck if I knew it would be today. That asshole took half of his soldiers and left without a fucking word to us.” 

One of the doctors frantically dug around for the anaesthesia they always kept on hand when they were working on their patient out in the open. Out of all the other patients, this one was the most volatile and dangerous that they had worked with. They had gotten him from an overrun CDC, being told that he was different than any of the other patients they had seen. 

The people who had handed him over had told them that he was patient zero. 

“You better have him properly knocked out, we can’t risk him or any of the others being exposed to the outside. Do you understand? If he gets fucking sick, we’re done for.” 

The doctor nodded, “he was already pretty drugged to begin with.”

“I don’t care,” he shouted, “use more then!” 

“We could kill him if we use too much of it,” she said. “We already gave him more than the suggested amount for his body weight, Geoff.” 

Geoff scoffed, “you don’t actually care do you, outside of keeping him as a test subject? Stop acting like you’re a saint, it makes me sick.” 

The head surgeon backed up from Geoff, her eyes lowered. She knew that what she was doing was wrong, but she obviously had no intentions of stopping despite the guilt on her face. 

“We have no choice but to do this, you should know that more than anyone. You’ve seen what’s out there.” 

“Just give him more fucking anaesthesia,” Geoff shouted at them, ignoring their words. It bothered him that they claimed to know how he felt when he was outside because they rarely ever had to go, and they were almost always under heavy supervision. They had nothing to worry about in this world, not like most people had to, anyways. 

The doctors nodded their heads at him and upped the dosage, at this point the man in the cot was watching, but his eyes were so distant Geoff could only wonder if he actually felt anything, or heard anything, for that matter. It was a terrible thing that they had been doing to him, but they had no other choice. He sighed a little as they upped the anaesthesia, and that was about the most of his normal voice that Geoff had ever heard. 

The only time that he heard his voice was when he was screaming. 

Geoff closed his eyes on the memory, trying not to think about the things that he had heard or seen happening here. He knew that it needed to be done if they wanted to extract some form of a vaccine, but he only wished it could be done without hurting someone who had done nothing at all to deserve it.

The sound of gunshots woke him from his pitiful thoughts, and glass shattering alerted them all, “take him downstairs now, he’s probably after the drugs up in the depository up here. He’s safe if we hide him in the basement – no one would go down there, it’s a mess.” 

“That’s awfully ballsy for a few pills,” one of the doctors commented as they hoisted the gurney up so they could properly carry the man in the cot down the stairs. “And why only one of them, isn’t that a little reckless?”

“I don’t know,” Geoff said, his patience having long since disappeared. “I don’t care, I just want you to make sure they don’t find out what’s going on here. Luke would kill us all if he went missing on us.”

“Is he just some random lackey of Kain’s, or is he one of his higher ups?” 

“It’s James, what the soldiers are telling me about his appearance fits the bill, and so does the way he knifed one of the guys on the outskirts.” 

As the other doctors began their trek down to the basement with the man on the cot, the head surgeon stuck behind. 

“This doesn’t sound like a good plan to me,” she said, waving her arms in his face for emphasis. Geoff could only make out the woman’s eyes behind her surgical mask, but from that alone he could see the fear in them. “He wouldn’t send someone like that psycho fuck James all alone out here for only drugs, he wouldn’t risk getting him killed. This is something he decided to do on his own, and I’m worried.”

“Would you like to suggest what his motivation could possibly be, because I’m all ears? James don’t know anything about what’s going on over here, so there’s no reason why he would come. If they knew we were trying to make a vaccine, I’m sure they would bend over backwards for Luke rather than attack him so they could get their hands on it. He probably just ran out of places to raid, so he came here hoping to find stuff.”

“This doesn’t feel right,” the surgeon said as if she hadn’t even heard Geoff, her voice low as she contemplated any other possible motive. 

“Did you not just call James a “psycho fuck”, shouldn’t that be all the explanation you need? That guy has never had a motive to begin with, look at the things he’s done. We should be looking at this as a blessing, Luke will reward us if we bring him to him, and he’ll be one less worry for us in the end.” 

The head surgeon sighed and rubbed her temples with one of her ungloved hands. Geoff felt the urge to punch her, considering she would never be in direct combat so she would never have to worry about being shot and killed. She was safer than most people were, and she got special treatment compared to the others. She was being paid to torture a man who had nothing to do with anything and she still had the nerve to complain when she had to work a little. 

“Just get the hell downstairs,” Geoff said, waving her off before the urge to hit her became too much to handle. 

__________ 

James slumped hard against one of the loose shelves in the dispensary, letting his head fall against the metal supports beams, hissing at his exposed flesh came into contact with the cold metal. 

Not only was he becoming too tired to handle from the bullet wound, he was also tired from everything going on. He was world weary already, and he was only in his early thirties. This kind of exhaustion was something that he should have only been experiencing at 50, in his own home, happy and warm, at the very least. 

Not like this.

He had never been cut out for a life like this, and yet, he continued on dragging himself through every day, just barely scraping by. Jordan would have told him he wanted to live, but in reality, the only thing really keeping him attached was Jordan himself, and the guilt he felt for letting them take Aleks away to die all alone. He was guilty, and that guilt was the only thing keeping him alive. 

He couldn’t move at this point, or rather, he didn’t want to move anymore. 

He was about to let his eyes slip closed, with the probability that he would wake up with Luke standing in front of him with a gun between his eyes, he didn’t care anymore. Maybe he would have to sit through a long monologue, maybe he would just end him right there, or maybe – if he was lucky – he just wouldn’t wake up at all. At this point, he didn’t care, he just couldn’t fight the exhaustion anymore. 

However, just as he felt his eyelashes flutter against his weather beaten skin, he heard the sound of voices coming down the stairs, and something metal dragging along behind them.

It was an odd feeling – though in his mind he just wanted to die, there was a small part of him that told him to stand up, just get up and see what was happening. And that small part of him, despite how buried it was under the void of overwhelming thoughts just telling him to die, was what made him scramble to his feet almost mindlessly. That voice is what made him pull his gun from the holster locked around his hips – that voice is what made him open the doors to the dispensary to at least try to fight off the soldiers that were coming for him. 

However, when he stepped outside he was faced with four men dressed in hazmat suits instead of bulletproof vests, and carrying a person on a cot instead of guns. Though he couldn’t see the person under the sheet, his heartrate picked up. This was, most likely, the person that had left behind the larkspur in the operating room. 

The men were unarmed, but they stopped immediately when they realized he was standing there, gun drawn beside him. 

“Look,” said the woman at the front, “we’ll give you whatever you want, just don’t shoot us, ok?” 

James could only look down at the steadily breathing, albeit unconscious, body in the cot. 

James pointed the gun up at the woman in front of all the other doctors, no doubt the head surgeon among them. 

“No, wait,” she said, her form hunched unconsciously in submission. She didn’t have a weapon to protect herself, a fatal mistake that the soldiers had made in sending them to the basement alone. “I’ll get you out of here, I’ll even take care of the bullet wound on your leg if you just listen,” she said, motioning at the now heavily bleeding wound on James’ legs where the bullet had lodged itself. 

James slowly lowered his gun as he looked at the body lying on the cot in the doctor’s arms. He was about to let these defenseless people go and just take the person from them and leave until one of the doctors shifted the cot around for a better grip. 

When the doctor shifted the cot, one of the arms of the person in the cot moved, causing it to hang limply outside of the sheets. He saw deep scars lacing up the arms of the man in the cot, leaving ugly white scars all over. However, the scars weren’t the most important things James saw. What caught James’ eyes were the all too familiar tattoos that were mottled, but still there, climbing up the man’s arms. 

He realized then that letting them go would be far too kind. 

James raised his gun and pulled the trigger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! :^)


	4. Under Loves Heavy Burden do I Sink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> _There was no mistaking those tattoos._  
> 

The last doctor fell to the ground as though she had also been shot, her legs frantically scrambling at the filthy floor beneath her for purchase. It was a woman, James could tell by the sound of her voice as she begged him not to shoot her. 

He wouldn’t shoot her, not yet, anyways. 

He knew he only had a few minutes left before the soldiers would come barreling down the stairs for the doctors, so he decided on asking just one question before he blew her away. He had a silencer on his gun, that was true, but it didn’t matter because eventually they would come looking for the doctors and for him. 

James quickly advanced on her before she backed up into the stairwell and grabbed her by the front of her scrubs, pressing his gun to her temple. 

“Why do you have him here?”

The woman seemed reluctant to answer his questions, so James reminded her of her position by yanking her over to the dead body of the head surgeon and holding her near the large, gaping wound in her head from where the bullet had went through. She sobbed aloud and tried to look away, trying to wrench James’ hand off of the front of her scrubs in the process.

“Tell me,” he shouted, no longer worrying about the sound he was making. The dead bodies had made a great barricade, and because he was in the basement, there were only two ways out of the place. If he ran straight, he could make it. 

James pulled the hammer on the gun to remind her once more, and she cowered when his hand gripped her scrubs even tighter. 

“The infection didn’t kill him,” she said, “we were just testing on him, we were trying to make a vaccine.” 

“If you were testing him for seven years,” he shouted, “then why is he all cut up?” 

“I don’t know, he hasn’t been with us for that long,” she said. “We got him after the other patients died and -”

“So he’s just another ‘patient’ to you guys? You’ve killed more people like him? You’re sick.” 

The woman almost wrenched herself away from James clasped hand in that moment, but he tightened his hold once again, pulling her forward until she was almost nose to nose with him. 

“I’m sick?” she said when he cocked his gun again, the look in his eyes telling her that he was going to kill her. She didn’t seem bothered in the least by this, however, as she seemed to have realized he would have killed her either way. “You’re calling me sick but you’ve been killing people left and right since the beginning of this hell? You and Kain can burn in hell, at least Luke’s trying to save people. You fucking dogs should all just-”

James pulled the trigger, and her body slumped in his grip as he was still holding her scrubs tight. He stood there for a moment, staring off into the distance as he let go of the woman's scrubs, causing her to fall to the ground in a limp heap.

When James finally realized what he was doing, and where he was, he dropped down beside the body of the man lying in the cot. 

The cot that they had him lying on had tumbled to the floor when he had killed the doctors, but the body on top remained in the same position, his scarred arm still peeking out from under the sheets. 

There was no mistaking those tattoos. 

James pulled off the sheet, and on the cot in question laid the body of the person he had been looking for with the desperation of a dying man for 7 whole years. The person that all of his mind told him had long since died, but that his heart had refused to let him believe. He laid there in almost pristine condition despite the scars scaling his arms and his legs. 

His body was strapped down tight to the cot with what looked like chains and leather, and he was handcuffed as if the straps weren’t enough to hold him down already.

He looked almost exactly the same as he remembered him, albeit a little worse for wear considering it had been seven years. He supposed he couldn’t say much considering he himself looked at least 10 years older than what he really was. His face was haggard and his hair already turning grey at roots, not only from the time spent running outside and avoiding sleep, but also from the emotional trauma he had inflicted upon himself by killing so many innocent people. In comparison to the other people he had seen over the years and himself, however, Aleks looked almost saintly, like he didn’t belong in this world that had become so dirty and tainted.  
James pressed the backs of his hands against Aleks’ face, as if he wasn’t sure if he was really there or not. His cheeks were warm and soft, and he turned into the warm touch of James’ hands. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, and that his heart was just stopped, stuck in his throat and preventing him from making any noise as he watched Aleks, eyeing him disbelievingly. 

Aleks’ hair was a little longer than James had ever seen it get, reaching down to his slender shoulders and curling softly toward his protruding collar bones like feathers. His tattoos were in the same place as they had always been, but an alarming number of scars and wounds marred the vibrant colours that painted his pale skin. They were so damaged, in fact, that most of them were hidden or distorted beyond recognition from all the wounds he had received over the years. He felt anger rise at the idea that he had been so hurt by someone else, treated like an experiment by people that saw him as just another expendable patient, but he knew he didn’t have time to take revenge and demand who did it. He had already killed the doctors, but by what the woman said about them not having him for long, he knew there had to be something bigger behind these experiments. 

James ran his hands through Aleks soft hair a few times over, almost reverently, as he crouched beside his unconscious body. He leaned down slowly and pressed his ear to his chest, satisfied when he heard the steady, albeit slow, beating of his heart. 

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing, and he couldn’t help thinking that perhaps this had all been an illusion of sorts, or a very vivid dream that he was having. He wondered if maybe he had actually bled out in the dispensary, and this is what he was what he was dreaming of as he slowly bled out on the floor. 

Finding Aleks, the one thing he had tried to do for years and years, was his one dream, after all. It wouldn’t be a bad way to go. 

He wanted to stay here and check to make sure Aleks was ok, and that he wasn’t just dreaming, but he knew there wasn’t time for that. He needed to be sure. 

He needed to take Aleks and get him away from this place, and back to somewhere safe – or at least as safe as they could get. There was no way he could fight off all of Luke’s men, no matter how much he wanted to. 

It was only when he heard the distant shouting from Luke’s men that he realized this wasn’t a dream, but it soon would be one if he let them catch up to him. 

James pulled the needles from the IV free from Aleks arm, ripping the tape slowly as if hurting him a little would make any difference at this point. He could only sit there for a few moments in stunned silence, watching in awe as Aleks’ chest rose and fell almost rhythmically even after pulling out the IV. 

Though his body was covered in scars, his face remained the same as it always had been. Pale and untainted, peaceful and sweet when at rest. His now long, wavy hair tickled at his sharp nose, and his brows furrowed in response. He looked so pristine that James felt like he couldn’t touch him with his hands – dirty hands that had murdered and maimed, had killed innocents for the sake of survival, hands that had stolen from the weak and pitiful and were forever stained with blood. 

Another shout rang from closer this time. 

James knew that he had to get Aleks from this place. From everything that he had seen, it was a horrible place. He could never live letting Aleks spend another hour in this place. Though it was dangerous outside, he knew anything would be better than the inside of this facility, where Aleks was nothing more than a number and a thing to be experimented on like an animal. 

“Ok, come on,” James said, as though Aleks could hear anything he was saying to him, “I got you, I got you.” He had obviously been heavily sedated, and he wouldn’t be waking up for a long while. He picked Aleks up like he had the day that everything had fallen apart, and with it brought back a number of horrible memories. But now, rather than losing Aleks, he was getting him back.

When he picked him up, he cradled his head against his shoulder to keep him from hurting his neck. His weight felt so familiar to him, it might as well have been 7 years ago when Aleks had been infected and wrenched from his arms. 

7 years ago when Aleks begged him to not let them take him away. 

James bit down on his bottom lip to keep in all of the regret pent up inside him. It didn’t matter anymore, he had Aleks in his arms now, and the people behind him who threatened to take him away from him once again right on his heels. They had been hiding Aleks here, and many others, for an important reason, and he knew that it couldn’t be good judging by the amount of scars on Aleks’ body.

Considering that they said that they had just gotten Aleks, and that other patients had already died that they were testing on, James was lucky that he came when he did because he could have ended up dead just like them. 

He only wished he had come sooner rather than later. 

Aleks, after all, had been infected on the very first day of the outbreak, and somehow here he was, still alive and breathing without any problems in his arms. It only took a maximum of 45 minutes to be killed by the larkspur virus, and only 3 minutes for the symptoms to begin showing in a person. Aleks had long since passed that mark, he had passed that mark seven years ago. 

James blew through the first set of doors with ease, the voices behind him becoming more and more distant as he ran. However, the hallways were becoming more and more cluttered. Considering the cluttered hallways, if he was lucky, he would be able to leave without anyone waiting for him on the other side. They probably hadn’t anticipated him coming into the basement. He kept his gun held tight underneath Aleks’ back, ready to shoot at the first sign of trouble. 

He was glad he had brought his silencer for this mission. 

As he was just reaching another set of doors that led to another strange room, he wondered whether or not the other patients had someone looking for them too. He wondered how long they had suffered in here before they had finally died from all the experiments done on them. He wondered how long it would have been before Aleks died like them.  
However, before he could worry about the people – the test subjects – he needed to get Aleks out of here. He knew that his job had once been to free people being held captive for bad purposes, but nothing else mattered when he finally found what he had been looking for since the start of the outbreak.

He would tell Kain when he got back, that was the best he could do for now. 

It was beginning to get dark in the hospital the deeper he went in the basement. The soldiers, he could tell, had finally gotten past the wall of bodies that he had left lying in front of the door. They were advancing on him quickly, and with his damaged leg they would be on him in no time if he didn’t reach the outdoors and lose them in the woods. 

“It’s fine, I’m going to get you out of here,” he said to Aleks unconscious body. “We’re going to be ok, I’m going to bring you home.” 

James realized that these reassurances were more for himself than anything, but he couldn’t stop himself from saying them aloud. The thought of dying or Aleks dying just after he had managed to find him made him feel sick to his stomach. He would kill anyone and everyone before he let that happen to them. 

When he thought back to the very start of the outbreak, he felt guilty because he knew the only reason they had gotten Aleks from him was because he couldn’t find it in himself to shoot the soldiers from the CDC. Because of that, the soldier he had failed to kill at the time came up behind him and knocked him out clean before he could do anything. He remembered vividly that he had fainted to the sound of Aleks’ screaming his name. 

He would never let that happen again. 

When James came out of the door leading to the outside of the hospital, he cursed aloud when he realized he would be forced to go down into the bog, perhaps one of the most dangerous places for larkspurs and bold, stupidly daring bandits. You couldn’t see anything beneath you in a bog or a swamp, so if someone had been infected and died below the surface, there was no way of telling where the larkspur was. 

From the map he had seen, there wasn’t supposed to be a marsh anywhere near the hospital, but somehow, over the years, the one that had been miles away had reached the hospital and was currently eating away at the ground beneath it. He was certain it had something to do with the way the larkspur virus altered the environment, but he didn’t have time to think on it too deeply. 

The only tell that there was something below the surface was that the water was almost entirely covered in blue, iridescent petals. He knew it didn’t mean anything good for him in the end and that the parasite had to be somewhere nearby, but he knew that this was his only chance to get away. The only other exit was back where the soldiers were, and he couldn’t risk that. 

When he heard a shot whiz past his head, however, he didn’t hesitate as he threw himself down into the depths of the murky water that had crept up next to the hospital, keeping a tight grip on Aleks body as he did so. 

Seven years ago, he wouldn’t have been able to carry Aleks this far, let alone run with him and swim with him. Now, however, he could properly protect him. For that, he was glad. 

He would never repeat the same mistakes that he had made before. 

When he hit the icy cold water, he was glad that he had left Ein behind in a safe place where she could run off if she was spooked and wouldn’t be hurt. 

He cursed to himself when he finally surfaced after swimming quite a distance away. He took one deep breath, and dove back in after several bullets splashed around him. 

They were being careful to not hit him, not because they didn’t want to kill him but because they didn’t want to kill Aleks. Right now, if they killed James, they would be killing the both of them. 

By killing those doctors and taking Aleks from them, he had pretty much declared a war on Luke – as if he needed another reason for the man to want to kill him. Kain surely wouldn’t be happy, but if James could warn him beforehand then maybe there was something they could do. He really didn’t care, however, because even if he was forced to leave the group, he had Aleks now.

James came to the surface of the water, coughing and sputtering from how hard he had hit the water. After spitting the water from his mouth, James craned his neck and pressed his lips to Aleks’ to suck the water from his mouth, spitting it the side so he wouldn’t choke when they went under the surface again. The last thing he needed was for Aleks’ to get water on his lungs before he even woke up from his drug induced coma. 

It was only in that moment that James wondered how many days he had spent in a haze because of the drugs they had been giving him, and just how difficult it would be for Aleks to be cut off from them completely. They had obviously made a habit of drugging him, if the track marks on his arms were any indication of this. 

James saw the soldiers in his peripheral, and was pleased when he saw that they had stopped on the cliff leading off into the bog, staring down at the water and then James almost incredulously. They would know more than anyone that the bog was one of the most dangerous places to be in Vermont – or anywhere for that matter – because the water was murky and you could barely see past the surface of the green and grey hued water. And, once a larkspur got you, they either infected you or drowned you, there was no escape.  
He would be a day ahead of them, at the very least, even if they went at top speed through the night, which they probably wouldn’t. He was glad, it would give him time to run ahead of them, as he knew his way around more than they did, surely. He knew the straight shot to Colorado, and he would be able to make it back within two months if he went non-stop. 

When another bullet hit the water next to James’ shoulder, he dove under the surface and swam as far as he could toward the small inlet. He knew there was a Larkspur under the water here. 

The danger in this was that the water was incredibly murky, so if it lashed out at him suddenly, he would end up drowning or getting infected, and taking Aleks with him. This was a reckless move, but it was better than trying to outrun the soldiers. If he went that way, they would be on his tail constantly, and probably catch him eventually. 

Just as he was pondering his escape, from deep under the water he saw a long branch extending toward him, and he swam to the left from it and to the surface once again. He  
was almost at the small inlet when he saw another branch rise to the surface, almost as if it were smart enough to know that the water was impeding its normally quick movements. 

He looked back, and saw that the soldiers were beginning to retreat, save for one that stood on the edge of the cliff, watching and waiting to see what happened. Even as he saw the branch from the larkspur rise to the surface, he still didn’t run. 

He wasn’t anything like one of Luke’s normal soldiers, this one was different. He just watched him, not even pointing his gun at him as he swam away with Aleks. 

James turned his head and focussed on the task at hand, swimming until he felt like his arms and legs would give out. He swam for what felt like 2 hours, but in reality was only a half an hour, and the larkspur’s tendrils of vine and branches still followed close behind him, almost close enough to graze his clothes. It was odd, however, that it never picked up speed nor dropped it, it simply followed him, much like a dog would follow its owner. After 30 minutes, it simply sunk back into the water, quickly and quietly, very unlike a normal larkspur. 

He tried not to dwell on it too much, thinking that it was most likely acting strange from being so waterlogged. Instead, he focussed on the land that was a few minutes away from him. 

When he finally reached the other side of the marsh, he hoisted Aleks’ onto the ground before him, quickly climbing up beside him and dropping heavily onto his back. He let out a sigh of air and stayed there in silence, trying to catch his breath as he watched Aleks’ chest rise and fall. 

It would be night soon. 

\--------

“Stop shooting,” Geoff whispered angrily as one soldier shot a random bullet at James, who had, for some reason, decided that jumping into the water with a larkspur was a better idea than braving the soldiers. At first he had assumed that James had done it because he hadn’t known, but he knew that he must have been smart enough to see the copious amount of blue petals floating around on the surface of the water. 

He watched as James dove back under the surface of the water again, Aleks secured in his arms like a lifeline. 

James didn’t have anything else on him, only that one person in his arms. He didn’t take any drugs, any guns, or any equipment, he had even left behind some of the drugs that the doctors had carried on them at all times. He had obviously been in the depository, too, but nothing had been taken save for a small pack of gauze and some weak antibiotics.  
What bothered Geoff about this the most, however, was the fact that James hadn’t known about the trials for the vaccine, and even if he had, he would have known that taking this man would be a terrible thing to do. 

One of the soldiers bit his lip, considering whether or not he should say what was on his mind. 

“Spit it out,” Geoff said impatiently. 

“You know,” he started, “I heard that this guy had been looking for someone for a long ass time, and that’s why he was so off his rocker when Kain picked him up.”

Geoff listened. Normally he scolded the men under his command when they began spinning tales, but this time he wanted to listen. He had heard this rumor before too, but he hadn’t actually believed it and passed it off as senseless gossip until he saw what James had just done. 

“Luke said that he had been looking for someone who had died at the beginning of the outbreak, and that’s why he was so crazy…” 

“If he died, then it can’t be the guy he has right now.” 

“Maybe he looks a lot like him?”

“No, James might be crazy but his eyes are fine, he wouldn’t have jumped into the bog if it was just some random that looked like that guy,” Geoff grew quiet as the soldier next to him sighed and shifted on his feet. “There’s lots of guys with long brown hair, if he cared that little he would have grabbed one of them from Kain’s camp. He wouldn’t have come so god damned far...”

“Crazy fag if you ask me,” the soldier said, spitting on the ground beside him. “No one normal would go that mental for some dude.” 

Geoff sighed, “don’t you have somewhere to be right now? Go get the horses so we can track that fucker down!”

The soldier beside him nodded his head quickly and walked back into the hospital, mumbling a curse out at Geoff as if he wouldn’t hear him. 

Geoff watched, however, from a distance as James swam off with Aleks in his arms, a larkspur’s branch following dangerously close behind him. He was a fast swimmer, however, and seemed to have an insane amount of luck, so he would no doubt live. Clearly, the person he had in his arms had been the person he had been looking around for for such a long time. There was no other reason why he would do this.

Geoff turned his back and walked off toward the hospital. Maybe when they caught up with them, he could ask him before he executed James on the spot. No matter how sad his story was, in the end the things James had done were inexcusable. 

\--------- 

Before night came, James had managed to make it back to the hollow stone building that he had left Ein in. And, of course, one of the most loyal animals he had had was still waiting patiently for him, eating some grass that had grown through the stone slats in the building. 

The horse trotted up to James, nickering as she rubbed her face against his. Her bristly hairs tickled his nose, but he didn’t care. She seemed interested in the person he was holding, but she only sniffed at him briefly before looking back up at James.

James grabbed one of the packs that he had loaded onto the back of the horse, pulling out one of the heavy blankets that Jordan had made long ago and laid it on the ground. He gently placed Aleks down and covered him in the other blanket he carried with him to make sure he wouldn’t get hypothermia despite the heat. His hospital gown had mostly dried in the blistering sun as he walked them back, so he decided that he could change when he finally woke up. 

As it was, he was just beginning to stir, so he knew that it would be a while before he woke up. In the meantime, James would keep watch even though his body was screaming at him to finally go to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :~)


	5. Smiles on the Frowning Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Aleks opened his eyes slowly, readying himself for the blinding white walls that always surrounded him, and the disappointment that followed it._

His dreams had always been incredibly vivid after the outbreak, so much so that he often woke up wondering how the things he dreamed about hadn't actually happened. It could have been the trauma from how fast everything had happened on the first day, but being locked behind blank white walls and having no gentle human contact for years couldn't have done much for the state of his mind. The dream he was currently having, however, was one of the most vivid he had experienced since the beginning. The dream he was having was much like a lucid dream, something he had never experienced in his life despite how vivid his dreams had been before. 

In this dream, he could hear James talking to him - as he had in so many dreams before - but he couldn’t quite make out what he was saying to him. This dream was different from all the others, however. Aleks couldn’t quite explain it, but it had sounded so real, like James had actually been standing right over him, talking to him in his gruff yet somehow soothing voice. He could even smell things in the dream he was having, like the smell of the sterilizing agents used in the hospital, the smell of blood, but something different came along with it, something earthy - something like what the soldiers smelled like when they came in from a supply run. 

In the dream he had felt like he was floating – no – like he was being carried away by something. He felt a warmth on his side, but it was different than the electric heat from a space heater, it was the warmth you could only find from another person. He wanted to get closer to that heat, but his limbs refused to work for him, and his eyes refused to open.

Then, just as suddenly as the warmth had enveloped him, everything went cold. He was freezing, but there was nothing he could do about it. He could feel his throat closing up at the shock of the cold - he couldn't breathe. 

As he grew colder and colder by the second, the dream ebbed away and he couldn't feel anything anymore. 

He wondered, absently, if it was a dream about the outbreak again, when he had been taken from all of his friends after coming into contact with one of the first larkspurs. He only vaguely remembered that time because he had been so wounded from the explosion that had taken out most of their office building, but one thing he did remember seeing even with the haze of the blood loss marring his vision was James getting struck in the head and falling to the ground. Jordan had been with him, but both of their fates were a mystery to Aleks, and most likely always would be. 

Though it hurt him to think about his friends that he hadn’t seen in such a long time – and would likely never see again – he often found himself doing so because it was the only thing keeping him sane in all the deafening silence he experienced when they weren't testing on him. There was little to do in a small white room with people constantly poking and prodding at you like an animal at a petting zoo. These dreams and memories were his only reprieve from the cruel torment that seemed to never end, and was only ever dulled by the drugs that they had been constantly pumping into his veins from the very first day. 

Aleks was surprised at the feeling of something soft and warm – albeit a little damp and dirty – upon waking from his drug induced coma. It was odd that it felt so much like the material found on a down coat, and not the stiff and sterile sheets he had grown accustomed to sleeping on for so long. 

He wondered for a second if maybe, just maybe, he was still dreaming. 

It also smelled different here, he noted as his sense caught up with him. For once, it didn’t smell like blood and heavy sterilizing agents, but instead the smell of clean earth and overgrown vegetation overcame his sense. It smelled like he was outside again, and it seemed all too real for it to be a dream, but he had been fooled once before by this. After seven years of being trapped behind barricaded white doors, surrounded by people whose faces he had never seen without a surgical mask, this was something he had never thought he would experience again. 

Around him, a woolly blanket tickled the exposed flesh of his arms, making him shift to scratch the itch that it was causing. Though years ago he would have called a blanket such as this uncomfortable garbage, it was now a welcome comfort. For the first time in seven years, he felt comfortable, and safe. He no longer felt the overly crisp, sterilized white sheets that he had been forced to sleep on for years shifting beneath him. He pulled the blanket closer to his chest, warming his hands that had always grown cold during the night. 

He didn’t want to open his eyes because he was afraid of this moment being destroyed. If this was just a dream, he wanted it to carry on for as long as it possibly could, but he knew he had to do it. 

Aleks opened his eyes slowly, readying himself for the blinding white walls that always surrounded him, and the disappointment that followed it. Instead of white walls, however, he found himself looking at someone’s chest, rising and falling steadily with each breath they took. The clothes they wore were torn and frayed, just barely holding together by a few threads. They were wearing a cotton blue shirt that was now green from dirt, sweat, and probably blood, and jeans that were covered in holes and torn to shreds around the knees and ankles from wear. He was so hazy from the drugs still wearing off that he could only stare directly at the person’s chest in a stupor.

He still couldn’t believe what he was seeing and feeling.

He realized that this must be what the outsiders looked like, or perhaps what his brain believed they would look like after seven years of constant running and fighting. It wouldn’t be a surprise if they really looked so beaten down, considering all that he had overheard during the moments that the surgeons had been performing one of their useless experiments on him. It was a wonder how much information you could get over the course of seven years, even with all those drugs clouding most of your mind. Even a small tidbit every few days was enough to keep him well updated. 

He couldn’t imagine what the outside itself looked like after the larkspurs started draining the life out of everything. From some of the banter he heard from the soldiers, things had only gotten worse and worse over the years. The Larkspurs had taken over almost everything, and what they hadn’t claimed for themselves, other humans – bandits and soldiers alike – had taken for themselves. It was survival of the fittest out there, and the number of humans alive were dwindling by the day.

He often thought of James when he listened to the soldiers talk, all of his friends, in these times, and how they had fared over the years. 

As they would cut into his soft skin, to try to ignore the pain and the feeling of cold metal cutting through muscle, he would just think about them. He was only lucid when they were experimenting on him, after all. 

He sometimes wondered how long they had lasted, or if some of them had survived to this day. He knew some of them could survive, Jordan and Nick maybe, but James - he didn’t think James could do it. Someone who had as much compassion as James, who was soft-hearted despite his rough exterior, would never be able to last in this kind of world. He must have died early on in the outbreak, maybe he had even died during the day that their building had been destroyed. He had sustained a number of grave injuries, and he and Jordan had been stuck at ground zero that night with no weapons to protect themselves. The idea of any of them surviving was farfetched, but that didn’t stop him from imagining it. 

Aleks sighed softly and rolled over onto his back, opening his eyes as he felt his head beginning to clear, the drugs slowly working their way out of his system. 

It was only then that he realized he hadn’t been hallucinating anything. 

He laid there, staring up at a high, slate-gray ceiling. The hard, cold floor bit at his back despite the blanket resting beneath him, and the soft woolen blanket around his shoulders was really there, stopping the cold from leeching into his skin and keeping his hands from chapping in the cold. 

It was then that Aleks remembered that he wasn’t alone, and that he had woken up lying beside someone. 

Aleks shot up straight despite the drugs still lingering in his system, almost tumbling over as he focused his eyes to look at the one person who had somehow managed to take him from the hospital. 

It was James. 

When he looked down at the man’s face, he was almost certain now that he was still in the middle of a dream. The fact alone that he was several states away from Colorado was enough to tell him that it would be impossible for James to have found him. Nobody could have made it that far without either being stopped by bandits, or attacked by a larkspur hidden among the jungle that the barren cities had quickly become. 

And, as Aleks had frequently thought of before, James just didn’t have the heart to hurt a person for no good reason. Outside the walls of the hospital, people were constantly being forced to kill others to survive, that was how three of the biggest groups got their names. One simply couldn’t survive without killing someone else along the way. 

Maybe it was a hallucination, but that vivid dream that he had had earlier was coming back to him in a rush, and all the pieces of the puzzle that was sitting in front of him filled themselves in too perfectly for it to have been a dream after all. 

He could only sit there, shocked, as he looked down at James unconscious form. 

“One of Kain’s fucking dogs breached,” one of the soldiers had cursed at the doctors who could do nothing about it but stare at him in stupor. They weren’t trained to control the bandits, and they didn’t have any weapons to protect themselves, they were only there to make a cure or a vaccine and were promised protection as they worked on Aleks and some of the other patients that came before him. 

At that point, the drugs that they had begun pumping into him were already beginning to take effect. He was used to this, however, as he had almost grown an immunity to them, so he was able to listen, if only for a few seconds at the panicked conversation they were having. 

_“You better have him properly knocked out, we can’t risk having him or any of the others taken,”_ he swatted one of the doctors, who cowered when he un-holstered his gun. _“Just remember that your life is in our hands, and if you mess up we can take it if we want. There are other doctors, after all.”_

At that time, Aleks could only scoff internally and think about how ridiculous they were all being. If they couldn’t fashion a cure or even begin to understand the Larkspurs at this point, there was no reason for them to keep trying. He didn’t even know why they kept him there, considering they were learning nothing new from him. All they knew about him was that his body had somehow learned to adapt to the infection. He was an irregularity, but that always happened in nature as the world slowly mutated and evolved. It didn’t mean anything. 

_“Kain’s fucking dogs… our guns… one of my men,”_ Aleks’ hearing had faded, and the rest was all unintelligible at that point, so much so that it would be pointless to try and decipher it all. All he knew was that everyone was very distressed, and that someone had somehow broken into the hospital. However, that was where the puzzle seemed to be incomplete. James couldn’t be one of Kain’s men. Not only did Aleks think it was impossible, he didn’t want to believe that it could be possible. 

Could he have been the one that broke into the hospital? All alone though, how could he have managed that with so many soldiers on guard? He was also certain that James, of all people, wouldn’t have become a bandit, especially one for Kain’s group. Kain’s group was so volatile and dangerous that even though they were based in Nevada and Colorado – from what he had heard several months ago – people knew of them up as far up as Vermont and across the border into Canada. 

Luke’s group had a real hate for them, after all, as one of Kain’s men had killed his wife and daughter. 

Kain’s group was one of the most dangerous, according to what he had heard, along with Luke and Stefani’s groups. The groups usually kept their distance from each other, from what he understood, because they knew that if they clashed it would give other smaller groups the opportunity to gain strength. The fact alone that one of Kain’s men would come as far into Luke’s territory as they had meant that they must have been after something very important. 

Aleks could barely let these questions run through his head, however, as he threw himself atop James. Perhaps in the past it would have been a strange thing to do, but after having not seen him for seven years, he hardly cared. He didn’t even care if this was all just a cruel hallucination induced by the heavier drugs they had begun giving him, he just wanted to revel in it for as long as he could. 

From what he could see, where he kneeled over his sleeping form, his fingers clasping his shoulders tight, James had changed a great deal since the last time he had seen him, but his face had stayed the same as it always had. He was solidly built now – perhaps from the constant running and the fighting – his face was darker from constantly standing around in the sun, and his hair had grown light around the temples and at the nape of his neck. It had only been seven years, but it seemed that every day gone by had changed him. 

James immediately woke up as Aleks lunged on him, and Aleks barely had time to grab his hand as he got to his feet and began reaching for his gun. This was what the bandits were like, unfortunately. 

“James,” Aleks said, most of his features shadowed by the heavy curtain of night. He repeated the name again and again like a prayer, gripping onto James’ weather beaten shirt as he sunk to the floor with him, his head pressed into his shoulder. He had spent much of the first year of the outbreak crying and begging for someone to save him, and after that first horrible year of captivity he had sworn he wouldn’t let himself do it again. But, as the tears spilled over his lids and tracked down his face, he felt that this one moment of weakness was more than justified. 

As he felt a warm dampness spread on his shoulder and James’ arms squeeze him even tighter, he knew that James had allowed himself the same. 

“It’s ok,” James whispered, his voice heavy and thick from the tears he couldn’t manage to control despite his best efforts. All those years of looking and he had finally found him, the one person he had spent seven miserable years looking for. “I’m here, it’s ok now.” 

Aleks was feeling such a strong range of emotions that he could only respond to James with an even louder sob, gripping the back of his shirt like a lifeline. He needed this to convince him that he was really there, something to ground him to this moment as James hands rubbed his back, soothing his cold skin with warm, callused hands. 

“You’re really here?” Aleks asked as he was still whimpering and coughing out sobs uncontrollably, and though he sounded pathetic to his own ears, he didn’t care. “I’m not just imagining this, right?”

“No,” James said, carding a hand through Aleks’ sleep warm hair, “I promise. I promise I’m really here.”

“Please don’t let them take me back there,” Aleks cried. 

And only when he was free from them, and the confines of that horrible place, did he realize just how terrible it had been for him. Now that he had seen James, now that he knew he was ok, he knew he couldn’t go back to that horrible place. 

It would kill him, and if it didn’t, he would kill himself before he let them take him away now. 

James felt his throat tighten when he saw Aleks’ tears, and the fear in his eyes at the idea of going back to the hospital. He swallowed hard around the lump of anger and guilt forming in his throat. Though he knew Aleks had been being treated terribly judging by the scars on his body, hearing it from the man himself only made him more upset with himself, and the people that had hurt him so badly.

“I promise, I’ll die before I let them take you again,” he said, squeezing Aleks even tighter. “You’re coming back with me, they won’t get their hands on you ever again.” 

He didn’t know how long he sat there and let James hold him – or how long he cried for – but light was beginning to cut through the overgrown grass and the thick foliage of the trees when the tears on his cheeks finally began to dry. It was only then that he realized his mind could never fabricate something so elaborate over such a short period of time. He really wasn’t imagining everything, he was really here, with James.

He had so many questions on his mind, and a number of things to tell James that he could barely process it. As it was, as soon as he began thinking that he was finally able to see James again, he felt tears well up in his eyes. He didn’t think he would ever get over the euphoria of being taken away from the hospital, and saved by his best friend that he had been certain he would never see again, at that.

“I was so scared,” he stopped as his chest caught on a small shudder. Tears were threatening to well up and spill over again and he willed them down so he could finally speak to James, “I thought I would never see you again.” 

“I looked everywhere,” James said. "I never stopped looking."

James finally pulled away again, but only to look Aleks in the eye. He grabbed either sides of Aleks’ head, fingers twining through his now overly-long hair. 

“You haven’t changed much,” James laughed, his smile sincere despite his eyes that were red and swollen from the tears he had shed, and the unshed tears that made his eyes glassy. “Your stupid hair is way too long though.” 

“And your stupid hair is going gray.”

And of course they would go back to how they used to be, just that easily. Though it had been seven whole years since they had seen each other, both believing the other to be dead, they went back to talking as casually as they had before. 

He knew what question was coming, however, so he took the opportunity to get to it before James did. 

“I don’t know,” Aleks said to James. “I don’t know how, but it didn’t kill me. The virus is active in my body but nothing has happened to me. I just – I heal faster than normal.” 

“Did they find a-” James didn’t even have a chance to say what he had intended to before Aleks cut him off. 

“No, they would have killed me if they had.” 

James seemed uncomfortable for a second, like there were a million questions he wanted to ask but didn’t feel comfortable asking – like he was worried about what kind of answer he would get. He was in the same position as Aleks, right now. Just like Aleks, just for now, he wanted to forget everything that had happened. They could talk about everything in time, when their memories of the things that had happened weren’t so fresh and painful in their minds. 

“We should get going,” James said, “Luke’s men are behind us, but I think they might reach Kain’s camp before we do.”

_Kain_

James stood up and whistled, followed by the sound of hooves battering the pavement from outside of the cement terminal. A horse with sandy brown fur covered liberally in patches of white came trotting in, nickering gently when it saw James. 

Aleks eyes widened. Despite how much he had liked horses in the past, he backed away from it. He was sensitive to almost everything at this point – being locked away from the outside for an extended period of time did that to a person. 

“It’s ok,” James said, noting Aleks’ defensive stance, “she won’t hurt you.” 

Aleks slowly began walking toward the horse, holding his hand out slowly to touch the side of her face. She whinnied, but otherwise seemed undisturbed by the contact. 

“Her name is Ein.” 

When he thought about it, Aleks felt slightly upset by this admission. If that was the case, then it was almost certain that his dog had died. That wasn’t surprising, given the circumstances that she would be forced to live in and her age added on to the top. He was sure James had gotten over it, but he still felt the need to apologize despite himself. 

“Sorry,” Aleks said, his head lowered as he continued petting the horse gently. 

James seemed confused for a moment, his brows furrowed, but he quickly caught on. “Oh,” he said, “it’s fine, I wouldn’t have wanted her to live like this anyways.” 

They were both quiet as James saddled the horse, and Aleks couldn’t help but notice the amount of weapons that had been holstered onto not only James, but also around the horse. A knife also stuck out of a sheath around James hips, and he couldn’t help but notice the blood spatters that he hadn’t yet cleaned off of the hilt. Aleks knew that there was no way that James could have gotten into the hospital without having to do some killing, but he had a hard time believing that James would have been capable of doing so. 

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he was startled when James walked up to him and began wrapping a leather holster around his hips. 

“What are you doing?” 

“You can’t go out there without something to protect yourself with,” James said. 

“I don’t…” 

“You need it,” James said. “It’s just a pistol, and you won’t have to use it when you’re with me. But if I get hurt, you’ll need it. It’s easy to use, you should be fine. I’ve seen you use a gun before, after all.” 

“James, you,” Aleks stopped short as he wondered just how he wanted to word his questions. “You’re with Kain’s group, that big group of bandits in Nevada?”

James was quiet and had stilled his movements around Aleks for a moment, “yeah.”

“Do you… Do you go with him when he does things?” It wasn’t worded the way Aleks would have liked, but he settled for that. James would get the point.

“Yeah.” 

“Sorry,” Aleks said, scratching the back of his head, “I know you probably don’t want me asking so many questions.” 

James finished fastening the belts around Aleks’ hips, standing up to look him in the eye. He just got Aleks back, he wasn’t going to lie or get upset with him, but he needed to take his time to explain everything to Aleks. 

“Don’t be sorry,” James said, “it’s just that, well, I’ve done some bad things and it’s too much to talk about right now. When we’re on the road, I’ll tell you. I'll tell you everything.” 

Aleks brightened at this, he was happy that James wouldn’t lie to him, but sad that he had done things he was so ashamed of. It was only natural that he had killed to survive, as that was how it was now, but he found it all so difficult to believe. At that, he was directly with Kain’s camp, meaning that he was somewhere high up in the group. 

James jumped up onto the back of the horse and held his hand up for Aleks to grab, lifting him onto the horse as if he weighed nothing. 

He really had changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	6. Wisely and Slow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Aleks hadn’t meant for it to come out like that, but it had and he couldn’t take it back now. So instead of fumbling for words, he joined James in patting down the bodies of the soldiers._

It was only as James’ horse was trotting at an even pace that Aleks finally realized what had been gnawing at him for so long. He had been so focused on finally seeing James again that he had completely forgotten about his other friends. However, because James was all alone, he knew that the answer he was going to get wouldn’t be a very good one. If they were alive, they would have been with him, no doubt. He didn't know why he was so scared to ask considering he already knew the probable answer. 

“James,” Aleks said from behind him, hoping that his voice was loud enough to hear over the horses’ hooves beating the broken pavement beneath them. 

James craned his neck to look at Aleks, “yeah?” 

Aleks fidgeted with the hem of the sweater James had gotten him to change into before they left, “everyone-” 

“Oh,” James said, he himself realizing that he had made a mistake in not telling Aleks anything about that immediately after he had woken up. He had been so overwhelmed with finally finding him again that he had completely forgotten to tell him the most important parts, and no doubt the things he wanted to hear the most. 

“Jordan is alive,” James said, “and the others weren’t dead the last I saw them, but I haven’t seen them in a long while so there’s no telling what’s happened to them since then.” 

“Jordan is?” Aleks asked, and just knowing that one other person had managed to survive was enough for Aleks. Even though the fate of the others was unknown to James, it still settled Aleks nerves knowing that at least James and Jordan weren’t entirely alone. Jordan was the perfect person to keep James in check, too. Though his calm demeanor and the rude way with which James spoke to him made it seem as if James wouldn’t listen to him, James had a lot of respect for Jordan. 

Aleks sighed softly, “I’m glad.” 

“Yeah,” James said, “he’s back at the camp right now. When we get back, you’ll be able to see him. He’s still the same dumb shit as he always was, too.” 

Aleks huffed a laugh, glad to know that things had stayed relatively the same between the two of them even after seven years of living in a warzone together. He had heard far too many horror stories of friends becoming enemies, or friends betraying friends to survive on the outside. It didn’t seem like any of that had happened between the two of them, and he was glad that they at least they had each other to lean on during the hard times that they no doubt went through. 

“What happened to the others? You said that they were alive the last time you saw them.” 

“Well,” James said, pulling on the reigns and bringing to horse to a gentle trot so Aleks could hear him over its bulky hooves, “we found them, but a lot of them left of their own choice. Kevin went to the mountains to try to avoid the fighting, and Dex and Seamus went to find another camp because they didn’t like how violent Kain was becoming. Dan left for them maybe five months before I left Jordan to come and look for you, so I don’t really know what’s going on right now. A lot could have changed since I left, considering I’ve been gone for a few months now.” 

Aleks watched a larkspur from far in the distance, weak and malnourished from only ever being surrounded by cement buildings. He wished that maybe the larkspurs would eventually die from not having any kind of nourishment like a regular flower would, but even after having nothing to sustain them but cement for seven year, they still stood and were still incredibly dangerous – if not even more dangerous as they seemed to become quicker and less predictable when they were starving like they were. 

“Maybe if you’re lucky, they’ll all be back when we get there,” James said as an afterthought, bringing Aleks' concentration back. “But if not, you’re just going to have to be satisfied with me and the idiot.” 

“That’s fine,” Aleks said, resting his head against James back. At this, James finally made the horse pick up its pace. He was happy, Aleks was letting him talk at his own pace, and not asking too many overwhelming questions. In return, James would do the same for him. They could talk about things over time, they didn’t need to rush. 

For as long as he wanted, they could pretend that none of this had ever happened. 

\--------

“What do we do?” Aleks asked, crouching beside James behind the broken beams of a building that once stood tall and proud in the center of town.

James didn’t say anything as he pulled the rifle off of his back. 

“We have to,” he said as he watched a number of emotions unfold on Aleks’ face at the sight of the gun. Being trapped for so long had made him more emotional then he had ever been, if anything. James had expected the opposite to have happened to him, and though he was glad that he had been wrong on that count, part of him wasn’t as he got to see everything Aleks was thinking about him every time he looked at him. 

“I know, I understand,” Aleks said with a sharp nod, although his face said that he had mixed feelings about it. He knew that they needed to kill to get away, but he still looked like he didn’t want to. James didn’t blame him, the first time he had been forced to pull the trigger, he had spent the following weeks thinking about it - it kept him awake at night. It was only when he had killed a second person that the feelings began to numb, if only slightly. He had long since learned to cope with the feelings it gave him, but Aleks would unfortunately have to go through that process just like James had been forced to. 

James gave him one last glance before he aimed his rifle at the man closest to them through a break in a wall they were behind. There were three soldiers out there, and Aleks felt panic rise in his gut. These were Luke’s soldiers, there was no doubt about that by the bandanas wrapped around their forearms to warn the other soldiers of their presence, and they were obviously looking for them. 

They had almost ran straight into them, in fact, and they would have too if Ein hadn’t been spooked by them when they moved through the woods. 

“There’s only three of them,” James whispered, his voice growing to a distracted whisper as he focused his sights on the man not even 20 feet away from them. 

“There’s 3 of them and 1 of you, I don’t know about you but that seems like a big difference to me,” Aleks said. “I don’t even know if I can shoot, I-”

James pulled the trigger before even letting Aleks finish what he saying, knowing that this conversation would lead to nowhere. It must have been how Kain felt as he had forced Jordan and James along with him to teach them how to protect themselves. He didn’t feel good about doing it, but he knew that he needed to do it despite his own reservations about putting a gun in Aleks so soon after he had gotten him away from the hospital. He knew that he had to, because if anything were to happen to him, Aleks wouldn’t last a day as he was. 

The other two men came running directly for them after the first soldier fell to the ground, and James stilled Aleks hand as he reached for the pistol that rested in the holster around his hips. 

“No,” James said. 

The two men after them were shooting wildly at them, not even coming near to where Aleks and James were hidden. James simply had to lean around the corner and shoot twice, the sound of the last bullet echoing through the still night’s air. 

“That’s the problem with Luke’s group,” James said as he positioned his rifle back over his back, the strap fitting perfectly into the rip in his cotton shirt. “His circle is too big, he needs to keep it small or they’re wild like this.”

“Isn’t Kain’s group big like this?” Aleks asked as James peeked around the corner for more of the men. 

“Not this big, no way,” James said. “There’s a few camps off of the main one, but he only ever takes us out with him. It’s better to keep the group smaller, and have a shield on the outskirts.”

Aleks flinched at the use of the word “shield” in regards to actual living, breathing human beings. It made it sound as though they were worth nothing. 

Aleks bit his bottom lip, eyes focused on the tall blades of grass tickling his exposed ankles as they made their way to the first body. 

“What are you to Kain?” Aleks asked as James began to check the body of the first man, hissing in success when he found two pistols on him. 

James stilled his movements. 

Aleks hadn’t meant for it to come out like that, but it had and he couldn’t take it back now. So instead of fumbling for words, he joined James in patting down the bodies of the soldiers. 

“Not anything like you’re thinking,” James said after the second body yielded no results. “Trust me, when you see him you’ll know why. He looks a little like Ron Jeremy, if that gives you any ideas.” 

“You mean like the porn star?”

“Yeah,” James said. 

“What part of him, exactly, looks like Ron Jeremy,” Aleks asked, the smirk on his face covered as he turned his back to James to rifle through one of the bags the men had dropped. 

“Go fuck yourself,” James laughed out when he realized what Aleks had meant. “That’s the last thing I want to see from him.”

Aleks passed James the bags of different dried food over to James. James pulled out some of the clothes found in the bags, tossing them off to the side casually. 

“Only take food and ammo, that’s all we can fit right now.” 

James stood up after they had finished looking and jumped up onto the horse with ease, but Aleks – who hadn’t ridden a horse in ages – still found it difficult to climb. There was only a small saddle on its back, and the footholds were too high for him to reach without exerting himself. Normally he would have had no problem jumping and climbing onto the horse, but because of the lack of muscle in his body now, it was a near impossible feat. 

James, without even questioning him, grabbed him by the forearm and pulled him up onto the horse behind him with ease. 

Though part of Aleks, long ago now, would have complained about someone manhandling him like that, he could only nod a quick thanks now. It would be no use trying to argue that he was fine and strong enough to get up, when really he was weak from constantly sleeping and being off of his feet. James had been out here toughing it for years, of course he would be much stronger than he had remembered, and Aleks, much weaker. 

James flinched for a second, and Aleks looked down at where he had seen the bullet wound in his leg. James had reassured him that it was fine, but even though he had managed to pull the bullet out of his leg, he still ran the risk of it getting infected, especially outside without any kind of cleaning agents. 

“It’s a straight shot from here,” James said to distract Aleks from his obviously damaged leg. “There shouldn’t be many more soldiers this way, and as long as we keep going through every day the other soldiers shouldn’t be catching up with us anytime soon.”

Aleks hummed, but couldn’t find the energy to do much more than that. He hadn’t really considered how weak he would be after leaving the hospital after so many years of being captive, but it was proving to be really difficult to stay awake for longer than a few hours, and even harder to keep walking for longer than one. He leaned his head against James back again, still trying his hardest to keep his eyes open. 

“Are you feeling alright?” James asked, managing to keep Aleks up a little more. He knew that James was trying to get him used to how hectic things were outside, but it would be a difficult and long process. 

“I guess,” Aleks lied. He knew having no drugs after so long was beginning to take a toll on him, and it wasn’t helping that he was already feeling terrible. There hadn’t been many times when he wasn’t completely drugged out to the point of not even being aware of the time or the things going on around him. The only reason he knew how many years it had been was because of the soldiers who had big mouths when they were in the same room as him. 

He wanted to think that he was strong enough to not go through withdrawal, but he could already feel the telltale cold shivers creeping up on him.

“You’re lying,” James said, “I can already tell by how much you’re shivering.” 

Aleks only lowered his head again at this. As it was, he was a drag on James because of how weak and tired he was constantly, but he would be even worse when he started going through withdrawals from the pain medications. 

James had even gotten shot because of him. 

“Fuck,” Aleks said, shaking some of the hair out of his eyes. 

“Well, there’s nothing you can do about it,” James said. “It’s not like you were taking them because you wanted them, they were forcing them on you.” 

“It doesn’t matter, it’s going to hold you back either way.”

James shook his head, “that’s the last thing I care about. Do you think after going through all that trouble to find you, I would complain when I finally did, asshole?” 

Aleks couldn’t answer, however, as his eyelids were already becoming too heavy to keep open. 

\----------

It was on the second day that things were starting to go from bad to worse for him. The first day had mostly gone off without a hitch, save for a few stops along the way to avoid stray bandits that had opted against joining any of the three camps. Long ago, James and the others had been those stray bandits, but after being taken in by Kain they obviously had no intentions of going back to that lifestyle. 

Though things ran smoothly enough, on the second day, the chills Aleks was getting were severe, and he knew it wasn’t normal because of the intense heat he felt radiating off of his own skin. He felt itchy all over, and no matter what he did he couldn’t feel comfortable in his own skin. 

“I’m sorry,” Aleks said, trying to fight the urge to press flush against James to take some of his heat from him. He knew nothing would work with these kinds of chills. James piled blankets upon blankets on him despite the fact that he had none left for himself, constantly asking him how he was feeling. 

“Why do you keep saying that?” James asked. 

Aleks couldn’t answer as another set of shivers wracked his body. It didn’t help that his body had become quite frail during the years he had missed out on, so he didn’t retain heat like most people could anymore as he had virtually no body fat. 

James leaned his head back against the wall behind him from where he sat next to Aleks. They were lucky enough to find a building that looked like it was in fairly good condition considering how many years had gone by without it being properly maintained. 

“You know,” James said, “I’ve been looking for you for seven years, it should be obvious that this doesn’t bother me at all. The only thing that’s bothering me is how sick you are and how little I can do to help you get through this.” 

As the shivers calmed down, Aleks said what he had been thinking since James had taken him from the hospital. “I don’t know why you kept looking,” Aleks shivered a few more times, but James didn’t cut him off and waited patiently for him to speak again, “there were no signs of me being alive. I got lashed, too, anyone would have thought I had died.”

“I know,” James said, “and trust me, everyone felt the need to remind me all the time. Even Jordan started getting angry with me.”

Aleks groaned, pressing his head deeper into the makeshift pillow beneath his head. “You have a hard time listening, huh?” He shifted, the sweat causing his clothes to cling to his body making him even more uncomfortable than he already was. As it was, just a little movement was making his body ache much like it did after a round of experiments done by the doctors. He was trying not to make himself too obvious because James would worry, but considering all the things James had seen at this point, he was sure he had noticed already. Addictions to drugs – any kind of drugs – must have become something common during the seven years, too. 

James crawled over to Aleks' side and crouched beside him, pressing the back of his hand to Aleks’ forehead despite his protests. He didn’t look very troubled, and eventually sat back on his heels. “You’re really hot.” 

“You know I am,” Aleks tried to joke, voice sounding choked and strained. 

James still laughed, brushing some of the hair out of Aleks’ eyes, “I don’t know what to do for you right now. We have methadone back at the camp, but that’s a long ways away from here.” James bit his bottom lip, “shit, I would have brought some if I had thought-” 

“It’s fine,” Aleks said, trying to control the painful body trembles by burying his hands deeper into the blankets. “I can ride this out.” 

James looked at him for a long while, his mouth cocked to the side, “I’d rather you not have to just grin and bear it. You know, you will start getting sicker before it gets better.”

Aleks unconsciously moved towards James, whose body heat he could feel even from under the blankets. “You know a lot about this,” Aleks said. 

“Well, it’s not uncommon to see a lot of people with drug problems now,” James laughed bitterly. “I can’t say I blame them, it’s better to pretend none of this happened.” 

Aleks rolled onto his back to look up at the dripping ceiling, “you’re telling me.” 

It was quiet for a long while, and Aleks was sure that James had dozed off beside him, but he spoke despite this. 

“James, why did Seamus and the others leave? You said it was because of Kain, but why would they leave the only people they had left?”

James didn’t respond, at first, but then Aleks heard him shift a little so he was sitting up beside him. “They left because of me. Kain was a factor in all of them leaving, but only a small one.”

“Why?” Aleks asked, trying to suppress the groan that threatened to come out as soon as he moved. Every little shift was causing an uncomfortable ache to roar through his bones. 

“I mean, you knew who Kain was, so you know what kind of group he runs, right?” 

“Sort of,” Aleks tried to shrug but almost gasped aloud when his bones felt like they would give way if he did it again. “I mean, I’ve only heard a few pieces here and there, but he’s supposedly the most violent of the three.”

“Well,” James said, “since we have so much time, I might as well tell you at least some of the story.” 

Aleks didn’t say anything, not wanting to do or say anything that would stop James from telling him. He knew, one way or another, James would have to tell him. 

“For a long while, at least for the first year, all of us stayed together. We had nothing to do with any of the three groups, we were just a bunch of low-time bandits trying to survive. We weren’t bad people yet, at least none of the others were, but things were getting unbearable. We were fighting over the weirdest things, and our relationships with each other were completely screwed, we certainly weren’t acting like we were friends anymore, by the end of it.” 

Aleks groaned again, but he waved his hands at James to keep going, “I want to hear this, it’s keeping my mind off of it.” 

James sighed but nodded his head despite himself, “well, eventually Kain heard of us and that we had taken out some of his outskirts men and stolen things. He caught up with us, and even though we put up a fight and Jordan and I got away, the others didn’t make it so we backtracked and gave ourselves in to him. We all worked in his camp for a short while until the others got tired of the killing, and tired of me, most of all.” 

“That doesn’t make sense, if you thought he was bad why didn’t you leave with the others when they did?” Aleks asked. 

“It’s survival of the fittest out there, and no matter how much we cared about the others, Dan, Jordan and I reasoned that it would be better to just turn the other cheek and pretend we didn’t know how bad the things were that we were doing. Seamus, Dex, and Kevin left, mainly, because I had gotten really bad at one point. I ended up in Luke’s territory, and I killed people who didn’t deserve to be killed. Jordan is the one who saved me after that incident, but the others, well, they had tried to tell him to let me be executed by Luke. At least, that is what Seamus said to me before he left. The others didn’t even turn back to say bye.”

Aleks eyes widened, he couldn’t have imagine the others turning their back on him like that, even going so far as to suggest to Jordan to leave him behind to be executed. The idea of abandoning one of his friends who was in need made him feel sick. “I wouldn’t have done that,” Aleks promised, rolling over onto his stomach so he could properly look at James. “I can’t believe they did that to you, how co-”

“You would have told Jordan to leave me too if you had seen the things I’ve done, and continue to do. I’ve killed innocent people, Aleks. There was no excuse for what I did there.” 

“I still would never do that,” Aleks said, soft and sincere. 

The look in his eyes was sincere enough, but James often wondered if Aleks would have left his side if he had been with them for those painful seven years where even someone as quiet as Jordan grew hostile and violent toward his own friends. It was a different world out there, and no matter how much you promised someone something, no matter how much you loved someone, it would be almost impossible to stay together. Though they had all promised to stick with each other in the very beginning, ultimately, they all ended up going their separate ways without so much as a look back.

“Yeah,” James said, leaning against the wall behind them. 

Aleks shivered one more time, drawing the woolen blanket up close under his chin. James, on the other hand, was acting as though it was a furnace in the building they had found. 

“You’re still cold?” James asked. 

Aleks shook his head for ‘no’ but he knew that it wasn’t convincing in the least. He wanted to at least try to keep some of his dignity after this, but apparently that wasn’t going to work out for him. 

James shifted and Aleks was certain that he was going to get up to find more blankets, and he did do just that but instead of just laying it down on top of Aleks, he laid down next to him and pulled the blankets over them. As if that weren’t enough, he pulled Aleks into his chest and sighed softly. 

“I know what you’re going to say, but trust me, this is normal now.”

Aleks nodded his head, and though he wasn’t sure if James felt it or saw it, James settled. He really didn’t mind this, and though perhaps he would have reacted much stronger in the past to something like this, deep down it never would have bothered him. He still had the odd chill every now and again, but he was thankful for James keeping him warm. It was probably stifling under all the blankets, and even warmer pressed against Aleks who probably felt like a furnace to James even though he felt like the inside of an icebox. 

Aleks was about to drift off again when James spoke to him. 

“Aleks, I know you’re tired but this had been bugging me for a while,” he said, and his breath tickled the hair on top of Aleks head. “That day,” James stopped himself for a while, as though the memory physically pained him, “what were you going to say to me before it all happened? I realize it’s probably not important now, but I was just curious if you remembered.” 

Aleks looked up into James’ face, and though his voice said that it didn’t matter to him, it had obviously been nagging at him for quite a long time. 

“I’m sorry,” Aleks lied through his teeth without any hesitation, “I really don’t remember.” 

It wasn’t the time or the place for this, at least not now. 

James sighed, “well, I guess it wasn’t anything all that important if you forgot.” He scrubbed a hand through his hair, and though he seemed bothered by this Aleks didn’t bother thinking on it any longer. He always said that if he saw James again he would tell him, but now it seemed like too much time had passed. 

It had been so long ago that he wasn’t sure if the words he had meant to say that day would mean anything to James at this point. He was a different person than he was then, that much was obvious, and so was Aleks. Any feelings that may have been there years ago would probably have all but disappeared. 

Aleks fell asleep to the feeling of James fingers combing gently through his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sad cinnamon rolls will only get sadder. :^(


	7. They Stumble That Run Fast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Every bump they hit with the horse was like a punch to the gut for him, and he knew James saw that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay, I had minor-ish invasive surgery done three days ago and have been very sore/tired since then. I'll be back on track now! :)

It had taken a total of two long weeks for the drugs to completely run out of Aleks’ system, and in that time they had mostly stayed holed up inside the building that James had found for them. Things had been relatively quiet, and James spent most of his time silently watching what went on outside, collecting water from the gutters, and comforting Aleks when he got sick. 

They were lucky for the fact that the withdrawal wasn’t as horrible as it could have been, but it still wasn’t something anyone should have to deal with, particularly people who didn’t take the drugs voluntarily to begin with. Those drugs had been forced into his veins despite his violent protesting, and they had done a great deal of damage - some of it irreparable. 

After a week had passed of days filled with what seemed to be only shivering and vomiting, Aleks was mostly able to stand on his two feet on his own, and he had insisted that James start going back to Kain's camp. As it was, Luke would be much closer to reaching Kain’s group – and in turn Jordan – then they were. That thought worried him more than anything, as he couldn't have cared less about Kain.

James insisted that he knew a much faster way to get back, but Aleks highly doubted that it could make up for a whole week lost from Aleks’ withdrawal symptoms. They had lost too much time, Luke’s soldiers would make it to Kain’s camp before they would, surely. They could only hope that Jordan would leave and run in their direction, or somehow find a way to get on Luke's good side before they returned. 

The second week had been a difficult one for Aleks, and he had tried his best to bite through the pain and discomfort he was still feeling. Every bump they hit with the horse was like a punch to the gut for him, and he knew James saw that. He knew Aleks would get mad, however, so he kept going despite the look of worry in his eyes as he stared at the road ahead of them. 

However, when they had reached the following week, he realized that he had done it, he had gotten through the worst of the pain and was able to travel with James in relatively decent condition. 

\-----

Aleks was sitting on the back of Ein, quietly picking at one of the small scabs that the IV had left on his arm as he waited for James. 

James had stopped them out of nowhere, saying that he wanted Aleks to see something as he disappeared between the thick foliage in front of them. 

Aleks didn't know what that could possibly be, but because he was in no rush and had nowhere else to be, he waited patiently on the back of the horse for James to return. He was comfortable, and didn't feel panicked as he could hear the trees rustling from where James was moving around behind them. Whatever he had wanted Aleks to see, it was nearby.

“Come,” James said after emerging from between the thick branches of the tall pine trees standing around them, holding his hand out to help Aleks off the horse.

Aleks looked at him skeptically, but he would never deny James, not at this point. He took James hand and climbed off of the horse, trying his best not to complain when a rock dug into his heel. 

Aleks followed James through the trees, wincing as the pine needles tickled his still oversensitive skin. Every one of his nerves lit up at even the slightest of touches. 

“What is this?” Aleks asked, following close behind James despite the paranoid fear that constantly nagged at the back of his mind after they had left the hospital. Part of it had been from the drugs still working their way out of his system, but the other part was simply Aleks’ fear rising up from being sheltered in the hospital for so long. It had taken some time to realize how truly terrible everything had become on the outside. 

He was also scared about the kind of reception he would get at Kain’s camp. 

From what he understood, no one was happy about James constantly searching for Aleks, and they had made it clear that they were very angry with him when he left this time as they had been preparing for an attack. 

“Just come,” James spoke as he looked at the hesitation on Aleks’ face, letting Aleks’ hand slide out of his grip so he would follow behind him. Aleks watched as James disappeared into the clearing with Ein, and pushed his way through the brush and trees to reach them. 

Aleks watched as James climbed an overgrown tree with a large, shaded overhang. He was surprised by how agile he was, climbing even without the support of any of the branches. He had obviously done this many times before. 

“Um,” Aleks started, “I don’t think I can climb that, or maybe I just don’t think I want to try.” 

James reached one of the bigger branches and sat down, holding his hand down to him, “I’ll pull you up, come on.” 

Aleks put his hands around the trunk, realizing just how brittle the bark was. He would most likely have a number of splinters lodged in his palms after he finally reached James. 

Just as Aleks was about to put his foot against the trunk to pull himself up as he had watched James do, James smiled and said. “Come on, take my hand.” 

Aleks’ foot skidded against the tree, and he almost sunk to the ground, “I’m just not going to climb, then.” The tone of his voice was venomous and threatening, however, he was still smiling, and his shoulders were shaking from trying to hold in a raucous laugh. 

“Ok, ok, come on, I won’t mess around,” James said, holding out his hand again. 

“Don’t talk to me or look at me when I’m coming up,” Aleks barked at him. 

“Wow, fine,” James said, reaching further down as Aleks made quick work of the tree. When Aleks was sat down next to him on the thick branch, James smiled and said, “see, it wasn’t that bad, was it?” 

“Shut up,” Aleks said, finally looking away from the dangerously swaying branch to finally get a glimpse of what James had been so eager to show him. However, when he turned his head, he felt a mix of elation and fear at what he was seeing.

“Wow, this is,” Aleks started as he finally saw what it was that James had wanted him to see for so long. He couldn’t come up with the words to describe what he was seeing, and he didn’t think that he ever could. 

The two of them were seated near a large cliff, looking down at the ground far below them from a height that made Aleks want to vomit again. 

“It’s morbid, but it doesn’t stop it from looking nice, right? It’s ok to think that, we all did when we first saw it.” 

Aleks swallowed hard as he looked down at the mass of larkspur growing from a giant pit in the ground. 

“What is this,” Aleks asked, swallowing hard around the growing lump inside his throat. He knew by the number of larkspur he was seeing that there had to be hundreds of bodies beneath them for them to grow so wildly and so close together. 

“They dug these at the beginning of the outbreak to dump the bodies. They thought that they could control the virus by throwing the dead bodies of people into pits and burying them in cement, but the numbers of dead people got so high that the pits became too full and too dangerous to get close enough to lay down the cement.” James said quietly as he looked down at the larkspur that thrashed slowly, their hunger quenched from all the bodies that were still being thrown in by bandits over the cliff. It was much like feeding fish in a fish tank. 

Because there were so many bodies in the mass grave, there were hundreds of larkspurs jutting to the surface, painting the ground for yards and yards with blue petals, sinewy brown branches, and slowly yellowing vines. 

“That’s terrible,” Aleks said. 

“A grave that makes its own flowers,” James started, “I don’t think that’s so bad. It’s better than seeing hundreds of rotting bodies just lying around, don’t you think?” 

Aleks looked down at the mass grave for a long time. The larkspurs had grown so wild and large that it was impossible to see any of the bodies beneath the foliage. It was sad, but as James said, it was better than seeing rotting bodies, and far worse, smelling them. 

“You remember when all this happened,” Aleks asked, more of a rhetorical question that anything. “What was it like?”

James laughed humourlessly, “well, it wasn’t good. For a long while we lived everyday thinking that we would be one of those people down there. It was especially bad at the very start, when everything was in even more disorder then it is now. For a long time, we didn’t even have any weapons to protect ourselves with.” 

“How did you survive, then?”

“How? Well, we just got lucky, I guess. Actually, I would have died during the first week if Jordan hadn’t gotten to me in time. When we were hiding in some random apartment during the first two weeks, he killed someone with a kitchen knife, I remember that scene like it was yesterday. He was the first person to actually kill someone. That was the first time that we had been attacked by another human being, because the biggest concern in the beginning was staying away from people who were infected.”

“Jordan was the first to do that?” Aleks asked incredulously. He had a hard time believing that someone like Jordan would find it in himself to do that, but he supposed it would have had to have happened at some point if Jordan was still alive. James had killed, after all, so it wasn’t all that shocking that Jordan had too. 

“I know, it’s surprising, but if you saw the situation we were in, there was no choice. I couldn’t work up the courage to do it and almost got myself and Seamus killed. I learned my lesson after that, we all did.” 

It was quiet for a while, and when the wind picked up it blew the larkspur around in the pit. Some of the loose petals on the ground flew up by them and scattered among the trees. If one thought about it, where those petals were was disgusting.

“When did you first have to do that, James?” Aleks asked, finally tearing his eyes away from the larkspur in the pit beneath them. Some of the fallen petals had stuck themselves into his hair, but James didn’t say anything about it, only watched as the bright blue petals clung to his dark, wavy hair like a broken crown. 

“Sorry, sorry, too far?” Aleks asked, a wince on his face. 

“No, I’m just surprised you want to know about that, but I guess it’s normal to be curious about it. You weren’t there, after all,” James said as he scrubbed a hand over his beard, something he did even seven years ago when he was considering something. 

It was comforting to Aleks to see James displaying old habits and ticks, it made Aleks feel like he wasn’t completely out of place anymore - like he wasn't a stranger. James was the same person as he was before, he was hardened from the life he had lead for those seven years that Aleks had been holed up in the hospital, but he was still the same James to him. 

“Well, it was one of Kain’s men, actually. That was the first person I ever killed, and the one I’ll remember the most out of all of them. I guess no one would forget that.” 

“How did you feel after that?” 

James laughed, “what, are you my psychiatrist now?” 

Aleks felt a little chuffed and looked back at the larkspur that littered the ground. He wasn’t one to pout, but having some of his basic questions constantly dodged was getting old. He realized it was a defense mechanism for James and that he joked about it to make himself feel better, but Aleks felt insulted that he felt the need to hide things from him. James seemed to sense this, and decided against further upsetting Aleks. 

“I mean, I felt miserable about it for a long time after it happened, but there’s only so much time you can spend worrying over something like that.” 

Aleks seemed to consider this for a while, or maybe he was spacing out, but the lack of any answer became worrying to James. 

“Anymore questions, Dr. Marchant?” 

Aleks looked up, shaking his head for no as he examined James. When they both realized they had been staring for a little too long at one another, James looked away sheepishly and ran a hand through his short hair, while Aleks looked down at the ground and watched as his legs swung beneath him. It was the definition of awkward, and just as Aleks was about to say something to break the silence, a strong gust of wind blew Aleks’ long hair over his face, causing him to sputter as some of his hair found its way into his open mouth. 

James laughed as he watched Aleks try to pull all the hair out of his mouth, “dude, your fucking hair is too long. Tie it up or something, dumb ass.” 

“I don’t carry around a hair tie, asshole,” Aleks barked back, still trying to get the rest of the hair out of his face. It really had grown far too long, but he barely noticed it until strong gusts of wind came by or he got overheated and began to sweat. 

James mumbled something but Aleks barely heard it, too focused on playing with a wavy stand of hair he had been about to brush behind his ears. His hair was longer than he had ever seen it, and absently he wondered what it looked like, or rather, what he looked like. He hadn’t seen his own reflection in years, now that he thought about it. They had been by water, but he hadn’t even thought of looking at himself as they were in such a rush. Just as he was about to ask James if there was water nearby, he felt James hand running through his hair again. 

“What are you doing?” Aleks asked, voice and posture making him appear annoyed, but yet he made no actual attempt to move away from him. 

“Tying your hair up, it’s bugging me now.” 

Aleks sighed but let James tie his hair up. He felt like a child letting him do this for him, and a little girl at that, but he wouldn’t lie and say it didn’t feel nice to be pampered after spending so many years of being treated like an animal. 

“There,” James said as he let the elastic snap around the small bun he had made in Aleks’ hair. “Now you look like an even bigger idiot than before,” he said as he began to climb back down the tree. Ein nickered at this, waiting impatiently at the bottom of the tree for him to come down to her.

Aleks knocked him in the shoulder with his foot before taking his hand and climbing down behind him. 

\----------

“What,” James asked, after Aleks had grown quiet for some time. 

“Can we find some water or something?” 

“I have some right here,” James said as he pulled one of the water skins off the side of the horse. 

“No,” Aleks said, “I’m not thirsty right now.” 

“Shocking,” James said. 

Aleks was about to continue on with what he said, but smiled at the comment. Really, nothing much had changed. “I just meant I wanted to find a lake, or something.” 

“Why?” 

“I haven’t bathed in a long time, ok, I feel gross,” Aleks barked. 

“We were actually coming up to one,” James laughed, "cool off, holy shit."

\----------

Aleks tried to hold down his joy when they came across a quaint lake with a small waterfall spilling into it from atop a small cliff. It was, perhaps, the closest they would get to an actual shower until they returned back to the camp, and he had been aching for one for a long while. Aleks knew that he had been washed and showered over the course of the seven years, but from what he remembered during the drug induced haze, it was only to sterilize him before they performed surgery on him. 

Aleks was the first to jump off the horse before it even came to a complete stop, landing flat on his feet and causing a sharp pang of pain to shoot up his legs. He ignored it, however, as he was too keen on getting to the lake. James tried to hold onto him at first, but eventually let him go. They were safe enough, this was off the path back to camp so Luke’s men most likely wouldn’t come looking for them there. At this point, they were probably more concerned with getting back to Kain’s camp before they did. 

He was worried about there being a trap there when he returned, but he knew he had at least Jordan to back him up. If there was some sort of trap, he could count on Jordan to help him out in the end, as he would do the same for him. 

Aleks had just shed his top layer when James came up next to him and patted him on the shoulder, “look up.” 

Aleks looked directly up into the sky, puzzled as to what James had wanted him to see. The sky was starting to become a unique ombre, blue leaking into orange and eventually into a deep, musky red. The clouds were few and far between, and the rare one that did appear was fluffy and white. There was nothing strange about the sky, outside of the fact that it looked nice, particularly after seeing nothing but white and slate grey for years. 

“Not that high up, dumb ass,” James said, breaking Aleks from his reverie and pointing his finger to direct Aleks’ sight toward the large, looming building not even 300 feet away from the lake. 

“Where are we,” Aleks finally asked. He had never been outside of a few places in the United States, so it was no wonder he wouldn’t recognize certain areas. However, even if he had been to these places, most of them looked nothing like they did before because of the Larkspur that had, ultimately, began terraforming the planet so it was more suited to them. If they didn't kill humans by infecting them, then they would find a way to make the planet unlivable. 

“We’re about a month and a half out from camp now,” James said as he shrugged a pack and his rifle off of his shoulder, “if all goes well, we should be back by then, anyways.” 

Aleks had already stepped away at this point, shedding the rest of his clothes as he waded toward the waterfall at the edge of the cliff. He simply nodded his head absently as he slowly crept through the water, dipping his arms in and swimming every now and again. When he finally reached the waterfall after leisurely floating around it, he watched silently, mouth submerged as James sat at the edge of the lake. He led Ein to the water slowly, petting under her neck as he did so. He was very gentle with the horse, as he had always been with most animals, but he was surprised that that small characteristic still held true even after all of the ugly things he had probably seen. His eyes were soft, and his posture, for once, wasn’t tense. All of the tension in his body seemed to leak out as he stroked the horse’s mane.

Aleks sighed as he finally turned away from James, swimming around some more so he didn’t appear to be spying on him. 

Aleks wanted to see if James would get into the water so he could see the bullet wound in his leg, but he knew James would find a way to keep it hidden from him. He didn’t want him to worry, but if anything, hiding the wound was only making him more upset. 

Instead of waiting for him, he just sighed and dunked his head under the water, emerging and letting the waterfall pelt the back of his neck. It worked like a rough massage, aggressively pulling all the tension out of shoulders, and he sighed as he let the water work him over. He knew his skin would be angry red and blistered from letting the water hit him so hard, but he didn’t care as the relief it gave him was worth it. He would have liked to stay under the spray for a whole day if he could, but because he knew they were working on a very tight schedule and things got dangerous as the sun began to go down, he knew he needed to hurry. Still, for the time being, he stayed under the heavy spray of the small waterfall, letting it lull him into a quiet calm until James called him back. 

He was so relaxed, in fact, that he barely heard James calling out to him from the other side of the lake. Ein was lying down on the ground, pressed up against him and nickering quietly as he fed her some of the edible flora he had found around the forest.

Aleks ran his hands through his hair to let the water shake the dirt out of his hair, and at that point realized how truly long it had gotten. When wet, his hair actually reached past his shoulders, stopping at the end of his collarbones. Aleks played with the ends of his hair for a short while before letting them drop and curl around his thin collarbones. 

At this point, he had become curious, and looked down his body only to realize how thin he had gotten. Though he was by no means sickly thin, he was thinner than he had ever been as a teen and a young adult, and that wasn’t good. From where he stood, he could see his hip bones clearly jutting out from under his pale skin, where it pulled taut and white against the bones, something he had never seen before on his own body. Obviously, though they had kept him alive at the hospital, they did it all while using as little resources as possible. 

Near calmer waters, as he waded back toward the rocky and muddy shore, he looked down at his own reflection for the first time in seven years. Sure, he had seen it in passing, but he had never really payed attention, perhaps because he just didn’t care before until he really thought about. When he and James were on the run, there was hardly anything they had time to think about, let alone their appearances. 

His hair really was far too long, and his body too skinny, but he was surprised by how little he had actually changed in those seven years that he could hardly remember. Though he wasn’t even quite 30 yet, he expected to look older, at the very least. Right now, it seemed almost as though he hadn’t aged a day. 

He knew that it wasn’t normal, but he didn’t want to think about what that meant for him. He splashed his reflection out of view. 

“You’re still a baby face,” James said as Aleks got closer, as if knowing that that was what he was looking at in the water. 

When he looked up, James was holding a ratty, ripped towel out to him. From where he sat, he was dipping his toes into the water and his jeans were rolled up to his knees, and the wound on his leg where the bullet entered had already been re-bandaged.

“When did you do that?” 

“Just now,” James said, “what, do I have to wait for your approval to fix my wounds?” 

Aleks sighed, wrapping the towel around his waist as he rose out of the water. “Could you at least show me what it looks like?” 

“No,” James said without any hesitation in his voice, “it’ll just make you worry, and it’s really nothing to be concerned about right now. We can worry about this when we get back.” 

Aleks sighed and laid on his back, his arms propped beneath his head as he looked up at the lazily darkening sky, the moon already showing its waxy face among the red and yellow hued sky. It was so nice to be away from the hospital that he didn’t care about the dirt and rocks digging into his back, or even the thought of the bugs that were no doubt crawling all around and over his wet body. 

Aleks watched as James hauled his legs out of the water, and his stoic face that was pinched just enough to let Aleks know that it was bugging him a lot more than he was pretending it did. The bullet wound had done some serious damage, and James, who had obviously learned how to hide things well over the years, was even having a hard time keeping a straight face. 

It didn’t mean anything good for him. 

“Is it infected?” 

“Yeah,” James answered after a minute of watching Aleks’ eyes careful, as if knowing that Aleks would continue to pry until he told him the truth. Aleks knew him better than most people – even more than Jordan – even though he had been gone for seven years, and that still held true after all the time they had been apart. He understood James. 

Aleks rolled onto his side to look at James, and maybe he didn’t realize the kind of pose he was in or the fact that the towel around his hips hung incredibly low and was slowly slipping from his sharp hips, but James ripped his eyes away from his body quickly, feeding Ein another handful of clover that he had picked in the woods. He was too old and far too weathered to be acting like a teenage boy, but here he was, face reddening when he saw Aleks almost nude. 

“Oh,” Aleks said when he realized why James had looked away. He pulled his clothes free from where they were sitting on the edge of the cliff and quickly pulled them on despite his body still being slightly wet, all while trying to avoid eye contact as he did so. The last thing they needed was unnecessary discomfort and awkwardness between them. 

“Sorry,” he whispered meekly, and though he was fully clothed, the docile, sheepish expression on his face and the slight tint of pink on his cheeks only made James blood run even hotter. Aleks probably hadn’t realized those kinds of things, but James had been around in this world long enough to see them. 

“It’s fine,” James said, waving Aleks off as he sat next to him on the large, grassy bank. The sun was beginning to lower itself, and the extreme heat from before was dying off and settling into a nice, breezy night.

They both let the quiet drag on for a while, just sitting next to each other in comfortable silence. It was comforting being together, and no words needed to be spoken for them to enjoy each other’s company. Even years ago, they had always found comfort in one another, it was just a natural response that they had to each other. 

“We should go soon,” James finally said as the deep red sky radiated against the water, giving them a full picture of the scenery around them. Some crickets were already beginning to chirp, and the sound of the small birds were beginning to give way to the sound of large owls and predators roaming for bigger prey. 

James already had Ein packed and ready to go by the time Aleks picked up all of his stuff that he had scattered on the ground. He obviously wasn’t used to the speed at which everyone lived their lives, and would require some time to work on that. As he threw the pack over onto his back, James already had his hand out for him. 

Aleks was about to make a rude comment about the speed at which James worked, but the look on his face quickly changed his train of thought. 

“What?” Aleks asked. 

James turned around and gave him a sharp look to be quiet, and Aleks closed his mouth. James had obviously heard or seen something, but whatever or whoever it was must have been nearby, as he was making an effort to make it appear as though he hadn’t heard or seen anything in the woods. 

“Keep talking,” James whispered, almost too low for even Aleks to hear over the sound of the leaves swaying back and forth from the calm breeze, “pretend nothing’s wrong.” 

Aleks swallowed hard but dug through his mind frantically for something to talk about with James. Conversation was easy enough between the two of them, but knowing that there was a threat somewhere nearby made it difficult for him to speak. He knew he needed to concentrate on the sounds, so he simply talked about something that didn’t require James to answer him. He spoke absentmindedly, finding it difficult not to be hypersensitive to their surroundings as James stared ahead, enough tension in his body that Aleks could feel it where his arms were wrapped tight around his waist, waiting for the moment when James would make the horse take off a run. 

When he heard a branch creak, he stopped dead in his tracks and turned his head to look at where the sound came from. However, when James softly jabbed him in the ribs with his elbow, he began to speak again, this time with a fervor he didn’t intend. He wouldn’t be able to hold out for long, but judging by the look on James face, he was about to make the horse run because he knew that whoever was in the woods was aware that they heard them. 

“Hold on,” James said, pulling back the reins and bringing them down hard, causing Ein to take off at a run. Aleks felt his heart thump hard when he heard the sound of an arrow just barely missing the torso of the horse and hitting hard into a tree. He hadn’t really considered it, but it would make sense for the bandits to take down the horse first if they wanted the people on it alive. If they shot one of them, then the other would just have an easier time to get away. 

Aleks pressed his head close to James back, squeezing his eyes shut tight as the speeding jade terrain was making him feel dizzy, and the thought of a stray arrow hitting one of them making him quake. James made random turns through the trees, whipping around and running in the opposite direction every now and again. He was trying to throw them off of their trail, and by the time they had emerged out onto the street, it appeared that it had worked. 

“What was that,” Aleks asked, even though that hardly needed an explanation. 

“More rogue bandits,” James said. “I heard them earlier, but I knew they wouldn’t attack until we tried to leave. They use a bow and arrow too, typically, so I figured it wouldn’t be hard to outrun them if we acted unsuspecting. There were only two of them, too.” 

“Why no guns?” 

“It’s loud, and the sound usually draws in other bandits, sometimes soldiers, if they’re really unlucky. They wouldn’t risk losing their kill or any of the goods they got, and a bow and arrow can be just as efficient as a gun, if not more because it makes no sound until it actually hits something.” 

“Shit,” Aleks said, clutching his chest. He felt out of breath despite the fact that they were being carried by the horse.“What if they come back for us, what do we do then?”

“They probably won’t chase us, actually, since there’s only two of us and we look pretty poor as it is.” 

“So why did they come after us?” 

“Even a small catch is a catch,” James said with a shrug. “Depending on how desperate they are, they might even chase us out here. Doubtful though, since there’s a larkspur that’s gotten pretty big around here, I saw it on my way over. They probably think we took off somewhere in the other direction to hit the highway, anyways.” 

“You know an awful lot about the shit they do,” Aleks remarked, swinging his legs against either sides of the horse absentmindedly as they closed in on the huge slate grey building that looked almost intimidating standing and casting a dark shadow against the small, jade trees that stood only a few feet away from it. 

“Well, considering I was one of them for a long time, I guess it’s only natural that I would remember their tactics.” 

Aleks didn’t feel like arguing with James or asking anymore questions that he was clearly still uncomfortable with answering truthfully, so he just hummed again, keeping his head pressed into James’ warm back. He wanted to remind James that he wasn’t like that, and that he could never be a bad person for no reason, but he knew James would only wave him off roll his eyes at him. He didn’t think James would ever be able to recover from some of the things that he had seen and done, but that didn’t mean Aleks couldn’t reassure him that he would always be the same person to him, and that he wouldn’t leave his side or think differently of him because of the things he did. Aleks knew that James had killed, but he also knew that that was the kind of world they lived it, however unfortunate that was. 

It was kill or be killed. 

“We’re almost there,” James said, and though James had intended for it to be for Aleks’ ears, he wondered if he was also just reassuring himself. The pain in his leg had obviously grown quite severe, and he was beginning to break out in severe cold sweats. He was acting almost like Aleks was when he was coming down from all the drugs and the dangerous withdrawal that they had caused in his system. 

Aleks was just about to ask if he was alright when he saw James’ fingers loosen around Ein’s reins, and his body fall to the ground beside the horse.


	8. Turn Tears to Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“It’s ok,” James said, before Aleks could even open his mouth, “I’m ok.”_
> 
> _“You’re not ok,” Aleks shouted._

Aleks felt his heart drop as he watched James fall to the ground. The only thing that kept Aleks from having a full meltdown was the fact that James was still moving, if only minutely, right after he fell. Just as he was about to get off the horse to help James, he got to his hands and knees, groaning more in frustration than in pain. He was obviously very weak, but he managed to push himself off of the ground with his hands and stood up on legs that looked weak and unsteady. 

“It’s ok,” James said, before Aleks could even open his mouth, “I’m ok.” 

“You’re not ok,” Aleks shouted. 

“I’m just a little dizzy,” James said, stumbling back toward the horse. He pressed his forehead into the side of the horse, holding onto the reins as he took a breather. “I’ll be ok.” 

Aleks scowled, but he knew they was nothing he could do to control this situation. James was defiant, even more defiant than he had been before, so he knew his fighting wouldn’t get him very far – it couldn’t. 

“James, we can’t stop moving,” Aleks said, his voice was strained as his heart was still beating wildly against his ribs, “we need to move on to the hospital, you need antibiotics right now.”

James ignored him, grabbing onto the saddle and dragging himself onto the horse. 

James used his foot to push the heavy glass doors of the building open wide as he got his legs around Ein’s back, not even bothering to get off the horse and only ducking as it went through the doorway. It nickered but seemed otherwise fine with being in these new, cramped quarters, obviously used to it on some level. 

James patted Ein’s head as she trotted up the stairs, quietly reassuring her that she was fine. 

“James,” Aleks shouted, “I’m serious, don’t ignore me.”

“I’m not ignoring you,” James said, a bead of sweat climbing down the side of his face, “there was a nurse in this building, I remember, so there might be some antibiotics left somewhere.”

Aleks steadied himself, if only a little, and looked at James carefully. He was worried, he was worried because he was certain there had never been a nurse in this building, and he was even more concerned because James seemed like he had come to a decision about something Aleks knew nothing about. 

He had about a day left in him, and after that the infection would be out of control. It wouldn’t take long for it to reach his heart, at this point. 

“There’re no larks up here,” James said quietly, talking as though their previous conversation hadn’t happened. “Those bandits probably come here to camp out in the lobby sometimes, but if we stay on the top floor we should be fine, and judging by how big the lark is getting at the end of the street, they might just not bother anymore and camp out on the highway. There’s more people that head that way, anyways.” 

Aleks nodded his head, clenching his teeth as the horse began to walk up the long flight of stairs leading to the top floor. The angle they were at was very disorienting, and Aleks felt like he was going to fall at any moment as their already steep incline grew even more disorienting when the horse threw its head back to nicker about something it had stepped on. 

“C’mon girl,” James said when Ein suddenly stopped near a window. He leaned over to look at the ground they were on to make sure Ein hadn’t gotten herself caught, and quickly realized that a few larkspur had grown up from the floor where some loose dirt had been thrown. 

The oddest thing about these flowers, however, was that they weren’t the larkspur that could infect you, they were just normal larkspur, not dangerous and quite beautiful when you got past the fact that the infection that swept the whole world looked an awful lot like them. James hadn’t seen any of the real flowers in ages, and even though they were harmless, he still felt the need to avoid them, and obviously the horse did too. 

Back at Kain’s camp, almost all of the flowers, harmless or not, had been ripped from the ground in fear of them becoming dangerous as they believed that the soil was tainted. Obviously that was not the case as seven years had passed and nothing had happened to the flowers that remained in the ground, but the paranoia was still there, and for good reason. He feared the sight of flowers now. 

“Wow,” Aleks said, “those are actual larkspur, huh?” 

“Yeah,” James said, leaning over further to pluck one out of the ground. It was odd, not having the flora around you trying to lash you and absorb every nutrient in your body in the process. He held the larkspur up to the moonlight leeching in through the window beside them, spinning it around in his fingers to get a good look at it, thinking on the days when a flower was just a flower. 

“They really do look a lot like the infection,” James said, finally tossing the flower to the ground and letting the horse trample over it. Flowers were the last things he wanted to see or be near, at this point, even though he knew they posed no real threat to them. 

James hurried the horse, getting her to finally cross the patch of other larkspur in the ground so they could bunk down on the top floor for the night. They were incredibly high up from this point, so James was right, this was their best vantage point. They could see the bandits coming from afar, and they could also hear them from below as they got closer. They would have plenty of time to react if those two bandits decided to track them. 

“Do they carry guns too?” Aleks asked when they finally reached the top floor and were in the process of unloading their bags from the horse’s sturdy back. 

“Of course,” James said as he laid heavy blankets on the floor. He always put far more for Aleks, but Aleks in the middle of the night would grab some and shove them onto James. As it was, he was sick, and the limp he had was becoming more and more pronounced. Him passing out – if only for a moment – earlier was enough to say that the infection was now making quick work of him. 

As they had come into this town and he had seen the hospital sign, he realized it would probably be dangerous, but James needed penicillin soon or they would never make it back to Kain’s camp in one piece. If it was as badly infected as it seemed, it probably wouldn’t take very long for it to completely ravage James’ body, and considering that James hardly ever complained, it didn’t mean anything good that he was limping around and had even fainted for a brief moment. 

The infection was progressing quickly, so fast that Aleks was worried that they wouldn’t be able to get any penicillin in time. 

There was a way that Aleks knew how to fix it, but he wasn’t willing to bet James life on something that had an almost 0% success rate, and hadn’t ever worked on humans, at that. All that it had been tried on had died, but there was still a chance. 

Aleks nodded his head, not realizing that James had his back turned to him and wouldn’t see. 

“Why?” James asked about the question Aleks had completely forgotten that he had even asked, groaning as he got off of the horse and sat down beside the window, looking out onto the street for any bandits that might come along. 

“You need penicillin,” Aleks said, “and you’re not allowed to be defiant about this.” 

James sighed. 

“You can’t die on me,” Aleks said, trying to play the guilt card for James because nothing else was working on him. James seemed more concerned about Aleks’ well-being, so if that was the case, he would play it up for him, “I’ll be alone, and either Luke will take me back to the hospital or a bunch of bandits will get a hold of me.” 

James looked down at his leg, swinging to test how painful it would be if he let it go and let the infection spread even further in his blood, knowing that it would only get worse and worse as time progressed for him. 

“Even if I did, you could make it. Ein would lead you back to the camp.” 

“That’s not the point,” Aleks said, his voice trembling despite him trying to tame it. “What will I do if I lose you? You’re all I have left, what would be the point of making it back?” 

James finally looked at him then, really looked at him, and bit his bottom lip before looking away from him and back out the window he sat before. 

“I don’t want you to die,” Aleks said, “please don’t be so cruel.” 

James sighed, “you talk like I’m doing this on purpose.” 

“We need medicine and you’re not even going,” Aleks shouted, the tears cloying at the back of his throat making his voice thick. 

James didn’t answer again, and at this point tempting Aleks to hit him. He didn’t, however, and instead chose to chastise him. 

“Your veins are turning red, and they’re climbing, it isn’t going to miraculously get better from here,” Aleks said. And, to add insult to injury, at least for James, “please don’t leave me right after you took me back, that’s too cruel.” 

“Do you know how fucked up those people are?” James asked, sitting up straight for the first time in a while. He was angry, but it was obvious that it wasn’t intended for Aleks, but for himself. “They’ll do anything, they’re barely even human anymore out there.” 

“You’ll di-”

“And so will you if you go there,” James said, his voice lowering, if only by a notch, “hospitals are the worst, and I can’t promise to protect you when I’m like this.” 

“If you die, it won’t matter then?” 

James sucked in a breath to avoid yelling, and sat back against the window with a dull thud. He pressed his palm to his forehead and sat there in silence, trying to compose himself. He knew he was wrong, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t frustrated. 

When James had calmed down, he met Aleks’ eyes again at this, “I won’t, I’m sorry. I just don’t want to put you in harm’s way, especially after I just got you out of one hospital. I didn’t want to take you to another place like that.” 

Aleks nodded his head in understanding, climbing atop the blankets that James had laid on the floor. “That’s kind of hard to avoid at this point, and I’ve been in harm’s way since day one in the hospital. You can’t protect me from everything, James.”

“I know,” James said. 

It bugged him, just as he was getting better, it was quickly starting to look like James was only getting worse and worse from the bullet wound in his leg. Not only was it infected, but there was also the fact that it had been lodged in his knee, where it could have done some severe, permanent damage to the tendons and soft tissue there. 

By the looks of it, James’ leg would be almost – if not entirely – lame after this. 

Aleks had asked him a number of times to show him again, but he would just wave him away and tell him it was all fine. Aleks wanted to judge how fast the infection was taking hold of him, but he was making it difficult for him to gauge that. He was sure James knew how fast it was working, could probably feel the sickness in his body, but he wanted to see it for himself.

They were on one of the highest floors, and fainting earlier had obviously taken a toll on James weakening body. He was leaning against the window now, face pressed into the cool glass. He was overheating from the infection, a sign that it had progressed quite far. The building was cool, almost too cool, but James had already been complaining of the heat in the room. 

“Let me see,” Aleks said, advancing on James despite the man’s tired, faint protests. He was obviously on the verge of falling asleep. He wouldn’t be able to fight off Aleks, at this point, and he doubted that he would even do it if he had his full strength as their argument earlier had obviously gotten through to James, if only a little. 

James kept his face pressed to the glass, so Aleks took this as James letting him look at the wound without actually saying anything to him. Aleks carefully pulled the leg of his pants up, wincing himself when James scowled, it really looked like it hurt. 

When he finally had the pant leg pulled over the bandage, he looked close and realized that a majority of the blood was mixed with an obscene amount of puss. Even Aleks, who hadn’t seen much of this world quite yet, knew that greenish looking puss meant something was going on internally, and in this case, James’ blood was most definitely infected. The fever and the motion sickness as well as the extreme fatigue and weakness that were suddenly presenting themselves spoke volumes about it all, but this only made Aleks panic harder then he already was. James was right, seeing it had only panicked him, but at least he knew how severe the wound was. He knew he needed medicine, and he needed it now. 

He needed to take care of this now, or he would lose James almost immediately after getting him back. 

“Shit,” Aleks whispered as he undid the bandage quickly, doing his best to avoid pulling at some of the scabbed flesh around the gaping wound. He didn’t know how James had lasted all this time with such a severe wound, but he didn’t dwell on it too long. 

It was frustrating. Aleks knew a way that he may be able to fix it, but there was a huge chance that it could end up killing James, too. That was a chance he was entirely unwilling to make. Only if James was on the very verge of death would he even consider trying this method out with him, he wouldn’t sacrifice him if there was another way. 

James was about to say something, but the sound of doors opening downstairs caught their attention. They hadn’t been distracted for very long, but it was long enough for the bandits to take them by surprise. 

“Oh fuck, already?” 

Aleks pulled James down onto the floor with him. As it was, he was already becoming lethargic, he most likely couldn’t aim his gun properly now, and because his pain receptors were weakened, even if he was being hurt or hurting himself, he wouldn’t know when to stop or when he was beginning to do damage that couldn’t be repaired. 

“There’s a lot more than you thought there would be, isn’t there?” Aleks asked, pressing his ear to the ground and trying to hear through the cement levels, it was very faint, but his hearing had become exceptionally good from all the days spent listening for when the doctors would come to get him. Lucky for them, the bandits wouldn’t hear them until they were on the stairs and only a few feet away. They were lucky for the cement flooring and the tiles that still remained intact. 

However, just as Aleks was about to relax and think of something to do, the sound of one pair of steps resounded through the building despite its sheer size. It really spoke volumes about how the world had changed, and how little it had become in such a short amount of time. All that could be heard were the sounds of the outdoors – the sounds of cars, planes and any kind of machine had long since passed them by. Here they were, alone in this building, with the sound of the bandit’s steps getting closer with the crickets chirping outside and owls hooting as the only background noise to their life. 

“They knew we came this way so they brought the rest of their camp,” James cursed, trying to take to his feet but falling to his knees in the process. He was too weak, Aleks needed to do something now because he really couldn’t. He looked angry, however, angrier than Aleks had ever seen him. 

“Why, you said they wouldn’t care about just two people?” 

James clenched his fists beside himself, he knew something Aleks knew but the stubborn look in his eyes told him that he wasn’t going to say anything about it, “I don’t know, they must be desperate for supplies.”

Aleks knew that was a bold-faced lie, but there was nothing he could do about it now. He didn’t have time to argue with James, as the person coming up the stairs was getting closer and closer by the second. 

“Hide behind the door,” James said, “If he sees me here looking like this, he’ll think we got attacked or something.” 

“Isn’t that one of the damn tricks they try to pull themselves!? They’ll kill you,” Aleks knew his voice was shaking, but he knew that it was pointless to try to stop now. He was scared, scared for himself and most importantly, he was scared for James who had somehow survived all this time, but was dying here soon after he had gone out of his way to save Aleks. It was like he was a curse on him. 

Maybe it was never meant to be, maybe he had been meant to stay in the hospital until the day he died. If he did, then James wouldn’t be here dying, still trying to protect him despite his own pains. 

“Well, we need to try something, Aleks, and considering I’m actually really sick here right now, maybe it’ll work with them if they’re dumb enough, now hide!” James voice cut through Aleks’ growing fears and hesitations, and he snapped back into place at the harsh whispering. It was almost as though James knew he was overthinking, and wanted to get him back on track and help him think faster. Considering the way the world was, there was no longer any time left to hesitate; when you were put on the spot you needed to think of something to do immediately. Your first thought was your only valuable thought. 

Aleks hadn’t heard James sound so genuinely enraged before in his life, and though he knew that it wasn’t directed at he himself, but was more to snap him back into reality and stop him from panicking any longer than he needed to, he still felt mildly put out by the way he spoke to him and simultaneously frightened by how threatening those simple words were. Coming from a person who was happy, friendly mush even on his worst days despite his always rough exterior in the past, this was something that made Aleks feel like a stranger to him. 

Aleks complied, however much the defiance in him didn’t want to, and hid behind the door. Because of his lithe body and the fortunate angle of the large door against the adjacent, he was able to press the door completely against the wall, making it really appear as though no one was there with James, or that they had abandoned him because of his illness. As long as the bandit wasn’t looking for the shadows from his feet, he would be fine. 

However, it was as the footsteps got even closer, and the horse started to make noise that the bandit surely would have heard from where he was, that he started to get worried about whether or not James’ plan would work. James didn’t have a plan, outside of “tricking” the bandit into thinking he was really sick, and Aleks hiding behind the door. He knew James was used to this, however, and it was too late to ask James what they were going to do at this point. So, instead of working himself up, he stood in silence, watching James closely from between the crack between the door and wall. He knew that somehow, James had done this because he trusted Aleks to know what to do when the time came. 

The footsteps drew closer and closer, closer and closer until they were right next to Aleks. Though the door was thick, Aleks could attest to the fact that he could feel the person’s body heat on the other side of the door. 

It only took a second for the man to turn his head to shout at the others when Aleks realized what he needed to do, he opened the door quickly and slammed the man on the back of the head hard, causing him to tumble to the ground in a pained heap. James got up at this, albeit a bit wobbly, and pulled the knife from the sheath, driving the blade clean through the top of the man’s head. 

Aleks felt sick at the sight, but tried to hold the contents of his stomach as James unsheathed the blade and proceeded to wipe the blood off on his jeans as though it were the only natural thing to do before he sheathed his blade. 

“Help me move him,” James said as he grabbed the man from under his arms, already pulling him toward the wall. Aleks grabbed his ankles and helped James throw the body of the man behind the door. 

“Shit, what a stupid mistake,” James said. “I was sure there were only a few, but obviously there were a lot more.” 

“It’s fine, let’s just get out of here before more of them come up looking for the other guy. This isn’t exactly the most spacious place to be fighting people in, and if we even shoot once all the others are going to come running at us at once.” 

James packed Ein up relatively quickly, albeit sloppily, and threw himself up onto the horse with a pained groan. Aleks ignored it for the time being, hoping that they could get out of here and find antibiotics. He didn’t want to have to deal with something like this now, but at least it got James moving. Now he had no choice but to go and find the hospital. 

“What do we do?” Aleks asked as James peeked around the corner for more soldiers. They were lucky the stairs were at such an awkward angle, because none of the soldiers could see up to the top very well. 

“Try and sneak out and kill whoever is in our way or who might give us away,” James said with a shrug. “There’s nothing else we can do, at least, not until we can get outside where we have room to run around.”

“They stopped chasing us awfully quickly back there, I should have known,” James whispered as they finally entered the staircase, Ein in tow. Ein was the only real danger here, if she even made a little bit of noise or clopped her feet too hard, they would know they were down there. 

James held a finger up to his mouth as if Ein would understand to quiet down. The horse seemed to understand on some base level that James didn’t want it to make any noise, so she was relatively quiet as they slowly made their way down the stairs. They were lucky that large metal doors stood in the way of the exit, because if their only choice was to rush them if worse came to worse, then it gave them good cover from bullets or knives. 

“Damn it,” James said. They could hear the voices of – at the very least – eight different people standing around. 

“They’re still going to come looking for that guy,” James said, exasperated. “Any minute now they should start worrying about him and come looking.” 

Aleks wondered, absently, if they really cared about each other. They were just bandits, after all, scouring the streets for something to eat, steal, or even rape and murder to get what they needed to survive, much like animals. However, given that James and the others had all done the same sort of thing for a long time, it struck him that maybe they weren’t always this bad, but the conditions they lived in forced them to be this way. These people on the other side of the door could have been exactly like James and the others, but because they were a threat to them, they had no choice but to take them out. It truly was a survival of the fittest situation borne out of the simple need to survive. 

He felt guilt starting to make his chest pang and his heart heavier than it should have been, but he knew he couldn’t let that stop them. James would die if they didn’t do this, and Aleks would truly have nothing else to live for. 

James pressed his back up against the wall opposite to Aleks, his chest was heaving quickly, as he was already out of breath from taking the stairs even at such a slow pace. As it was, the bandits in the lobby were loud and raucous, but they had adapted to hear even the slightest of sounds like all of the other bandits before them had been forced to. To survive, one needed to adapt, and they needed to do it well or there was no hope for them in a world that was cruel and refused to wait for those left behind. 

This was how people had survived those seven terrible years. 

After relaxing, James came over to Aleks’ side and whispered instructions in his ear. His plans always sounded dangerous and reckless to Aleks. As it stood, it was a total accident that James has stumbled across him, as he had been bleeding out and prepared to die in the basement of the hospital when the doctors had come down with an unconscious Aleks in tow. 

“We’re just gonna bust through and run,” James said. “They’re taking too long to look for the other guy, so it’s obvious that they can’t care very much. If we try to use one as a shield, they’ll just shoot us.”

“How do you know this,” Aleks whispered, voice harsh despite being pitched low to avoid the bandits hearing them. 

“Do you smell that,” James asked, pointing his gun toward the lobby with the bandits in it. 

“Yeah, and?” 

“That’s human that they’re cooking.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter should be up either tomorrow morning or tomorrow afternoon! ;^)


	9. Which, as They Kiss, Consume

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _There was a Larkspur up ahead._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW - sexual assault, disturbing imagery, and attempted rape in this chapter.

Aleks clapped a hand to his mouth when the realization hit him. However, he didn't do this to stifle a gasp, but instead, a gag. The smell had enticed him at first because it had just smelled like regular pork to him. Even now, he was so hungry that even knowing what it was that he was smelling, his stomach growled and his guts churned painfully. 

He wanted to ask James how he knew what the smell was, but he knew he wouldn’t like the answer he got no matter what it was. James and the others had been rogue bandits for a long time, from what he understood, right up until Kain had captured them and forced them to start working with him. There was no telling what James and the others had seen and done while they were on the road, but as James had told him before, they had done whatever it took to survive. 

Aleks looked up at James.

As it was, James was starting to slouch where he stood and Aleks was beginning to wonder if he would be able to hold out until the bandits came looking for the one missing from their group. Because there were so many floors in the building, Aleks could only hope that they wouldn’t come looking for him for a long while. If he tried, he might be able to get James out of the building without even fighting them, James just needed to hold out for a little longer. 

If he could run out as fast as he could and get around the building by himself, he could come back for James and - 

“You can’t do that,” James whispered harshly through his fingers, as though he could read what Aleks was thinking on his face alone. Aleks couldn’t see his own expression on his face, but it probably looked very hesitant if what James said meant anything. “They’ll see you running somewhere outside, and Ein won’t fit through any of the emergency exit doors. We can’t survive without a horse, especially now, of all times.” 

“But James, you’re-” Aleks started, unsure of what word he wanted to use to describe James’ precarious state. 

“We need to go back up to the top; if we start shooting in the lobby we’ll get killed. There’s just too much room for them to move around,” James said, pushing off from the wall and limping toward the stairs. His limp was more pronounced than it had been before, and it was becoming obvious that standing up for a long time was hurting him more than it appeared. 

“But, you said,” Aleks started. 

“I know, but I don’t think my leg is going to hold out long enough for us to rush them at this point. I think we’re going to have to wait for them at the top, it’s too crammed so we might be able to get them one by one. If we rush them and I collapse, I'm putting you in even more danger.”

Aleks swallowed hard. 

“Come on,” James whispered harshly when Aleks didn’t respond to what he was saying, motioning toward the stairs. 

Aleks followed close behind, looking over his shoulders and listening closely, keeping his eyes and ears peeled for anything that sounded strange to him. 

As they took each step, Aleks tried to wrench his arm under James to support him, but he kept refusing him defiantly, pushing him away in the process. Aleks knew why he was acting like this right from the start. James was acting this way because he had wanted been the one to protect Aleks, not the other way around. Guilt was eating James up inside, and there wasn’t a thing Aleks could do or say to make him feel better about it.

Though it bothered James it didn’t matter to Aleks, and it never would, because the only thing he was concerned with now was making sure that he and James would never be separated again. He wanted to be able to protect James as much as James was protecting him. Just knowing that James had been defiant enough to look for him for seven whole years despite all odds pointing to Aleks having died on the very first day of the outbreak was enough to keep him going. James had been protecting Aleks those entire seven years even though he wasn't there with him, as far as he was concerned. James didn’t see it that way, but Aleks certainly did.

However, just as it seemed as though they might be able to find a way around the mess they had gotten themselves into, they came back to the patch of larkspur that scared Ein, and because they weren’t paying attention to their surroundings, they tried to drag her through it and she reared up, letting out a loud sound of distress that the bandits would have heard without a doubt. 

At this point, Aleks grabbed under James’ arms despite his protests, and began pulling him up the stairs. They were almost there, if they could get into a closed space, then they might have had a fighting chance against some of the bandits. James tried his best to follow quickly behind Aleks, but he couldn’t move fast. His leg had given out almost completely. 

“Stop it,” James said. “Let me go, and get the fuck out of here.” 

“Fuck you,” Aleks said, his eyes boring into James’ as he pulled even harder on his arm. “You’re not doing this to me, they’re going to be here any second, not get the hell u-” 

\-----

Everything in Aleks’ life since the outbreak seemed to happen suddenly and without any kind of warning. He lost things that were important to him, he got hurt, and the people around him were taken away from him while he could only stand there and watch, incapable of doing anything to change it. Every time, every damn time, he would be forced to watch in stunned silence as something more was taken from him, just like that first day. 

Just when he had been beginning to think that there was nothing left to take from him, the powers that be managed to find something more – something that left an even bigger scar each time. 

The bandits were fast, and when one of them let loose an arrow from directly behind them, he watched as something else was taken from him in a matter of seconds. However, what was different about this time was that he got to be up close and personal rather than far away and from behind heavy metal bars. He was close enough now to see the life slowly beginning to leech out of James’ eyes when the arrow drove itself through his back, close enough to be splashed with blood from the heavy impact, and close enough to hear the small breath of air that was forced out of James' lungs. 

It had happened fast, and it had all happened within a few split seconds, but those short few seconds felt like years to him. 

They were so close to the door – so close to getting out of harm’s way – that Aleks had been reaching out for the handle of the door and had only been inches away from the cold, smooth metal handle. He could feel the cold against his fingertips. 

Instead of grabbing hold of it, however, James’ dead weight brought him down the floor. On impact, Aleks' face was rammed into the ground, and from his nose he could hear a sickening crunch. His mind, however, was far too distressed to even process what had happened to his nose. 

Aleks pulled himself up from under James' arms, ignoring the bright red blood dripping from his nose. 

Aleks was unable to help it at this point and began to panic, justifiably so. He screamed, and he was not entirely sure what he was screaming, but it must have been unintelligible babble because even the bandits seemed to stop in their tracks on their way up the stairs. He couldn’t think, because now antibiotics would do nothing for James. 

That was it.

Now there would really be nothing left that they could take from him. 

\-----

James had fallen to his side, leaning against the wall and somehow bringing himself upright despite all odds. He blacked out for a moment after the impact, but it couldn't have been for very long because when he opened his eyes, Aleks was crouched in front of him, his voice nothing but ringing in James’ ears at this point. Aleks’ nose was bloody – most likely busted from the fall – but he had been so focused on James that he didn’t seem to even notice the blood dripping down his chin and onto the dirty floor in front of him. 

Then he heard the heavy footfalls of the bandits coming up the stairs, and he immediately drew his gun. 

“Move,” James said, pushing Aleks to the ground with more force than he had intended. He barely had control over his limbs anymore, and they felt numb and cold to him. Despit this, he managed to aim his gun shakily toward the bandits that were coming around the corner, and when the one with the bow came about, he shot him down along with two of the other bandits that were following close behind him. 

James looked down to see his own blood leaking down the filthy wall in droves, staining the entire left side of his body deep red and creating a pool around his fallen form. He could feel the heat of his blood against his skin, and the weak thrumming of his heart in his ears slowing. Though everything had grown numb, he felt himself slipping down the wall now, and it was an odd feeling, but he could no longer control his numbing limbs as the blood was leeched from his body. That, coupled with the infected wound in his leg, was enough to take him down for the count. 

This time it would be indefinite. 

He saw another bandit come around the corner as he slid to the ground, and saw the anger on his face when he looked at what he had done to his men. But, despite how hard he tried to lift the hand holding the gun, he couldn’t do it anymore. As a black vignette ate away at the corners of his vision and his eyes began to drift closed, he saw Aleks, his arm outstretched toward him when his eyes betrayed him and finally slipped shut. 

\-----

“Stop for a second,” one of the bandits raised his hand at the others, watching as Aleks crawled over to James side, grabbing the ripped material at the front of the shirt and trying to desperately shake him awake. 

“Please don’t do this to me,” Aleks said, his voice frantic and strained. He let out a quiet sob, pressing his head against James’ forehead, which was still blazing hot from the fever that the infection had caused. He was still alive, but just barely hanging by a thread as it stood at this point. He had already been dangerously close to something he couldn’t come back from, and the arrow to his back had pushed him far beyond that. 

Aleks’ tears were staining James’ warm cheeks as he tried anything to wake him up. He knew it would be pointless even if he opened his eyes, but he tried. He tried desperately because the only thing keeping him going was dying right in front of him – because of him. 

The bandits didn’t seem bothered that he was entirely unaware of their presence at this point, they only stood and watched, amused more than anything at Aleks' fear and sadness. 

It was so unfair, so cruel, that something like this would happen after he had just gotten James back. He had been tortured inside that hospital, living everyday unaware that any of his friends had survived, not knowing if they were suffering or not, or how they had died, and he had believed at the time that that was far more cruel than knowing. 

Now, however, he knew that it was much, much worse than not knowing what was happening. Aleks couldn’t handle seeing this. 

“Why not keep him,” the leader, judging by the way he spoke to them, said as he motioned toward Aleks who was still crouched over James. “Look at him, he’ll be nice and weak for us when we take him back.” 

“We brought you back here because of him, after all.” 

Now he knew why James had been so upset about their appearance. They had come and found them because of him, they didn't care about the supplies they had or their guns, they already had all of that. 

They were greedy; they just wanted Aleks. 

Aleks heard one of them smack their lips lewdly at him, and even heard some of the comments that they made, but he refused to move away from James' side even as their leader crouched down beside him. He reached out to him and rubbed his thumb over one of Aleks’ soft, tear-stained cheeks, turning his head from side-to-side to get a better look at him. 

“Not bad,” he said, “no wonder why the other one here was protecting him.” He kicked one of James’ leg, and Aleks’ took a swing, landing a heavy punch to the temple. 

The man rocked back on his heels and hissed, rubbing the already darkening spot on his face. He laughed, however, as he looked at Aleks’ furious expression. 

“What are you, some kind of a fucking wild animal?” The man asked as he grabbed Aleks’ wrists to keep him from taking another swing at him. There was a lecherous smile stuck on his face that never seemed to falter, and Aleks wanted to beat it off of him if it was the last thing he did. 

Aleks kicked him then, his feet colliding with the man’s knee and causing him to sprawl back, if only for a second. 

He felt angry, angry because there was nothing he could do for James now. The other bandits laughed at his weak attempts to stop their leader, and even their leader seemed unfazed by his actions. 

Aleks tried to reach for the gun around his hip, and at this the man finally fought back. He punched Aleks with so much force that he fell back into James, his cheek burning and his jaw aching from the blow. 

Their leader pulled the gun free from the holster around his hips, throwing it back to his men carelessly. 

Aleks was about to put up a fuss and try to fight them again but instead, at this crucial moment, remembered something James had told him countless times as they trekked back to the camp: “learn to adapt.” And he did adapt, he adapted enough to know what to do and what not to do in a bad situation. He knew he couldn’t get away from these people no matter how hard he tried, so he needed to do something about it, something that wouldn’t be impossible. 

He needed to work their weaknesses, so he stopped, sitting still where he had fallen against James. 

The man leaned forward again, and though all of Aleks’ wanted to spit in his face and try to take another swing at him again, he sat still when he reached his hand out to grab his face. 

Despite the tension in his body, he tried to melt against the man’s pseudo-affection. No matter how much these touches made his gut roil he knew that this was his best bet. If he could play the part, just for now, then maybe he could get away from them all somehow. All the bandits had gathered on the stairs, and this would be Aleks’ only way of breaking free. 

This was a stupid move on their part, but Aleks realized he probably looked relatively harmless to them, especially now. He looked frail and weak, and because he was with someone like James, they probably thought he was nothing more than a slave or a whore that he had picked up on the road. 

The leader of these bandits pushed him back against James’ unconscious body by the chest, letting him sit there on the cold cement as he began to undo his own belt quickly. The sharp, metallic clinking of the belt was almost deafening in the silence, and made Aleks’ head spin. Despite this, Aleks kept his eyes as far away as possible, looking instead at James’ limp arm that sat underneath him, and then at the arrow that was still sticking out of his back. 

Aleks felt his stomach drop as the man crawled forward and started tugging the zipper down on his weather-battered jeans, “you wanna get fucked against your boyfriend, huh?” 

He ran his dirty hands up Aleks loose shirt, one of his hands squeezing his chest as his other hand roamed uncomfortably up and down the soft but emaciated planes of his stomach. Aleks shut his eyes tight against the filthy feeling, trying to keep down the bile rising in his throat quicker and quicker the more the man touched his body with sick intent. 

He shivered when the man lathered his tongue over his neck, biting against his throat roughly and drawing blood to the surface of his pale, almost translucent skin. He let out a small gasp when the man bit just a little too hard over a nerve, and though it was a sound of discomfort, it only served to excite the man even more.

“You like that?” he asked, lifting Aleks’ shirt so that his chest was fully exposed, revealing patches of bright red marks that dotted his skin from where the man had pinched and squeezed him too hard.

Aleks could see his hard length when he leaned forward, fully erect and leaking from between the zipper of his worn out jeans, and he felt himself wanting to run away at the sight of this. It was an odd feeling, something he had never really experienced before, to be so scared and disgusted at the same time that he wanted to cry or leave his own skin. 

The other bandits were watching in silence as their leader assaulted Aleks mercilessly, some of them even pulling their cocks out of their pants and stroking themselves as they watched what their leader was doing to him. 

Aleks grit his teeth against the urge to shout at them, to cry out for help from anyone, but he had long since learned that crying for help would do nothing for him in the end but fill the deafening silence. These people didn’t care about him, or his story, the only thing they cared about was what was happening in the moment, and that they had found something for temporary release. He was just an object to them, something that could be disposed of whenever they saw it fit. 

Aleks shuddered when the man’s tongue laved against his chest. 

Just being touched by these strange, filthy men made his skin crawl. He would let it go on however, at least until he could take them by surprise. He needed to, or else James would really end up dying, and so would he. 

Under his back, Aleks could feel James' sluggish pulse beating against his back, and it was getting slower and slower as each minute passed them by. This weak and pathetically slow pulse, however, was the only thing keeping Aleks from trying to fight with or run away from the bandits. 

Aleks closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip when the man pulled his pants down around his ankles, leaving him almost completely exposed to the eyes of the other bandits.  
However, just as he was prepared to let the abuse carry on for longer so the men would relax and let their guards down, as soon as he felt the man’s wet length press against his exposed backside, he leaned over, snapped the arrow in James’ back, and rammed the splintered wood deep through the man’s left eye without a second of hesitation. 

There was no more time for hesitation. 

The man fell to the ground beside them, and because the others had been too distracted by what had been going on, they couldn’t react fast enough to what had just happened so suddenly in front of them. Aleks pulled the gun free from James’ limp hand before they could reach for their own and began shooting wildly at them. 

He had, in his rage, managed to shoot them all down like dominoes, one by one. When the final one fell to the ground, his erect cock still in hand, Aleks let himself fall back to the floor beside James body, pants still pooled around his knees and still panting at the shock of what he had just done, and what had just been done to him. 

He had done it, he had managed to kill the bandits. 

As the initial shock of everything that had happened wore off, his skin still buzzing uncomfortably and his hand still warm and stained from the gunpowder, Aleks stood up, pulling his pants up quickly. 

He lifted James from the ground by his underarms despite how jelly-like his limbs felt and how much his stomach still continued to roil after what had happened. He managed to pull James’ torso on top of Ein, and he crawled up behind his unconscious body, dragging him by the shoulders so he was hanging securely over Ein's back. 

“Ok, let’s go girl,” Aleks said, his voice still trembling as he gently nudged the horse with his heels. 

Now, as James already thickening blood leaked down the side of the horses’ body, he knew that there wasn’t much that could help him now. In a world like this, James might as well have been dead. Even with help from trained surgeons, there wasn’t much hope for him.

Aleks, however, knew what he needed to do to save him. There was nothing else he could do but this. 

If it didn’t work, then Aleks saw no other reason to keep on living. 

\-----

When Aleks emerged from the large building, the last thing he expected was there to be more bandits waiting for them and guarding the area on the outside. This was clearly a big group of them, or rather, had been a big group of them, and Aleks and James had killed almost half of their entire group – along with their leader – in one fell swoop. When they saw Aleks emerge from the building, they quickly caught on to what had happened, and that the bullets they heard firing did not kill the two people that they had tracked, but had kill their own. 

“Stop them,” one of the bandits shouted, all the while drawing his bow in the direction of the horse, rather than at James and Aleks, just like the others before them had. They didn’t seem concerned about the sound of gunshots travelling, however, as he could hear gunshots, and even felt some of them whizzing past them by only a few inches. 

Aleks forced the horse to run to the right, albeit jerkily, to move out of their range. He had never handled a horse before, and the only thing he knew was the small bit of information James had reluctantly divulged to him while they were on the road. 

_“What’s the point of knowing this? I’m taking you back to camp anyways, you won’t need to do this for a long while – never if I have any say in it.”_

His stubbornness had gotten them into more trouble than they needed right now, and he would be sure to scold him about it when, and if, he woke up. 

“When,” Aleks told himself aloud, growing frustrated with himself for thinking something so dark and horrible about someone who meant so much to him. “When he wakes up.” 

Aleks felt tears stinging at his eyes, but he knew he didn’t have time to stop and cry about any of this now. If he died, then James’ journey to find him would have been all for naught. He couldn’t let his life end with something so pointless. If he hadn’t been looking for Aleks to begin with, none of those wounds would have happened, and if he weren’t constantly trying to protect him, then he wouldn’t have gotten the arrow through his back to add insult to his already terrible injury. 

The horse surprisingly seemed to listen to him without any real qualms or protests, and though Aleks would have liked to think the horse was taking a liking to him, it was most likely just the horse reacting to James lying on her back – she felt comfortable and safe with him around, as did he. Even if he wasn’t conscious, she knew he was there and was keen on protecting him as he had protected her.

“Come on,” Aleks said, the voices behind him still as close as ever. They were making shots for the horse now because they desperately wanted to catch James and Aleks, and he wasn’t going to let that happen. If the horse fell, Aleks knew they were done for. He couldn’t carry James, and there was almost no cover on the road they were on. If anything, they would have to go into another building, and Aleks didn’t know if the same trick he pulled before would work for them in the end because of what he had done to their leader. 

Just as Aleks had almost decided to give up and shoot them both to avoid the obvious torture they would be forced to endure under the bandits, he saw it from far ahead, and from the clamoring behind him, the bandits also saw it. One thin branch waved around from inside the deep forests ahead of them, and then retracted.

There was a Larkspur up ahead. 

James had told him about it earlier, but he hadn’t truly thought about it yet. He never thought that he would be thankful for the larkspur, but now, he couldn’t possibly be more thankful for the possible escape they would lend the two of them. 

He could hear the bandits cursing about him being an idiot for running directly for it and not veering off the path when he saw it, and he was being an idiot, but this was his only chance to get them away from here. 

This was their only chance to escape, and though it was dangerous, Aleks was having his hand forced now. He either had to risk the chance of James dying from the Larkspur ahead of them, or risk the bandits getting them, torturing them, and eventually killing them. 

The decision to do it was tough, but the choice he needed to make was obvious.

Aleks looked down at James’ unconscious form, knowing full well that he didn’t have any time left. This was it, he had to make his decision now or James would die because of Aleks’ hesitation. 

He realized now that if James were in his position, he would have made the same decision. 

“I’m so sorry,” Aleks whispered as he knocked the horse with his heels, causing it to speed toward the larkspur. The bandit behind him came to a shouting halt, holding his arms out to stop the bandits behind him and cursing Aleks for being an idiot as he ran directly into the reach of the larkspur. 

“I’m so sorry.” 

Aleks closed his eyes and bit hard into his tongue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeahhhhh, this is probably going to be a lot longer than just 15 chapters. I'm not even halfway through the story yet, and the word count is steadily climbing as I add more and more to the actual plot. We're only really getting into the central plot of the story in the next chapter, so I apologize! ^-^'


	10. Dreamers Often Lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _All he knew was that something inside of his body felt wrong – felt off._

James woke up with a gasp, clutching hard at his aching chest. There was a strange feeling brewing in its depths, like his lungs were expanding and deflating without him actively breathing in and out. It felt as if his body wasn’t under his control anymore.

Everything inside his body ached. 

However, it wasn’t a normal muscle ache like those he got after a lot of running, or an ache he felt when he wounded himself during a supply mission. It was strange, like nothing he had ever felt before. It felt like the inside of his body was stretching and pulling against itself. 

All he knew was that something inside of his body felt wrong – felt off. 

He looked to his left and saw Aleks sitting next to him, a look of surprise on his face as he watched James open his eyes. His eyes had been lidded before he noticed that James had woken up, as though he hadn’t slept for days, and his body was slumped as though he had been sitting in that same position for hours and hours on end. James had never seen someone look so world weary. 

Aleks scrambled away from the wall he was leaning against and wrapped his arms around James shoulders before he could even think twice about what had happened, squeezing him so tight he felt his bones creak against each other. 

“I was so scared it wouldn’t work,” Aleks whispered, his voice trembling from unshed tears. However, beneath the tears that were cloying at the back of his throat wasn't just sadness, but fear and guilt. It only confused James even further as he hugged Aleks back, twining his fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck in an attempt to bring him down from his almost manic state. 

He was certain Aleks was only acting this way because he was frightened. 

“What happened," his brows furrowed, "how did we get away from the bandits?” he asked, his eyes lidded as he tried to recall everything that had happened that night. 

He remembered, almost vividly, that he had been shot through the chest by one of them just as they were about to escape. He even remembered the feeling of his heart pumping slower and slower as he bled out. He remembered that they had shot one of his arteries, and that he knew there was no way he could possibly live through it. The blood that had come pouring out of him had been black, indicating that severe internal damage that had been done – irreparable damage in their world, even with the help of a doctor. 

Reluctantly, James finally pulled away from Aleks, grabbing him by the shoulders and gently prying his arms off of him. He began patting at his chest, looking for the arrow wound, but was shocked when he found nothing. No pain, no blood, but what did remain were a few rips where the wound would have been. 

However, considering how tattered most of his clothes were, it could have been anything that had caused those rips. 

“What about my chest,” James said, motioning toward where the arrow wound used to be. There was no way he had imagined that, it had all been so real, he had even remembered the feeling of the arrow digging itself into his bones, and the hollow, wet, fleshy thump it made when it slid between his ribs.

“Your chest,” Aleks asked, “is there something wrong with your chest, do you feel sick? You might just be heart sick from the medication. It used to happen to me all the time.” 

James looked puzzled, however he pulled his face back into the tamest expression he could muster at this point, trying not to worry Aleks too much after the obvious shock he had been through during the past two months. “I got shot by an arrow by one of those bandits, Aleks. Don’t you remember? I’m sure-” 

“James, you passed out after the lake,” Aleks said with one of his eyebrows cocked. “You hadn’t been shot by an arrow, it was the infection making you think all of that did. There were no bandits.” 

“That was a fatal shot,” James fought back the urge to shout at him, because part of him knew he was lying to him despite how much he wanted to trust Aleks. “I remember it as clear as day, that should have killed me! I even remember the feeling of my heart slowing down to just a few beats and my lungs not pulling in enough air-” 

“James, you never got shot by an arrow,” Aleks shouted, his eyebrows twitching and his mouth pulled down into a distraught frown. The set of his mouth was defensive, and his shoulders were pulled back. He looked genuinely angry, but not at James. 

James looked up at him at this, meeting Aleks’ eyes that were genuinely upset for the first time since the hospital where he had found him. Aleks was angry, and even though it wasn’t directed at him, he felt his blood run cold from the heated stare. 

For some reason, Aleks was lying to him about something, so much so that it was tearing him up inside. 

He didn’t want to pressure him, because this was obviously Aleks’ idea of protecting him, because he knew Aleks wouldn’t do anything to hurt him. Maybe he really hadn’t been shot by an arrow, but there was something that happened that Aleks wasn’t telling him about. He looked nervous, like a scared fawn, and his body was incredibly closed in on itself. His arms were wrapped around his shoulders, and his legs were pressed tight together where he kneeled down beside James. 

James had seen this before, these actions, and he knew that something terrible had happened. Someone had done something to Aleks to make him act like this. 

James pressed the flat of his hand against his forehead, groaning. He didn’t know how he could dream of something so vividly, but he had been known to have quite vivid dreams. 

He felt something roiling in his blood, and felt the urge to scratch at his arms. He resisted, however, as something important came to mind.

“Aleks,” James looked up, looking at the sign on the outside of the building, furrowing his brows as everything fell into place, “where exactly did you get the medicine from?”

Aleks looked down, and this was it, this was his tell when he was lying. He wouldn’t make proper eye contact, and when he finally did, his eyes always looked softer, somehow, as if looking sweet would somehow soften the blow of him lying. 

“I got it from the hospital,” Aleks said confidently after a brief second of hesitation, “there were only a few bandits, you probably became conscious enough at that point to hear what was happening, and I managed to slip past them without any problems to grab some of the medicine in the hospital.” 

James looked back out at the sign again, then down at the floor. Aleks was lying, something big had happened, and Aleks had obviously gotten the medicine because James wouldn’t be sitting here, but it hadn’t been from the hospital. 

He swallowed hard around a lump of anxiety forming in his throat. 

“Aleks, the hospital here is overrun,” James said. “There’s a big group of soldiers protecting some high up politician, there’s no way-” 

Aleks grit his teeth, looking off to the side. Some of his hair had come loose from the ponytail, hanging limp beside his face.

“How did you get the medicine?” James felt his heartbeat quickening as horrible thoughts went through his mind at lightning pace. He knew there were very few ways to get a hold of proper medicine nowadays, and trades with other bandits were difficult, if not downright impossible. They didn’t have money, they had nothing good to trade but the horse, and Ein was obviously still there, standing behind Aleks grazing on the grass outside, and nothing they had with them would have been worth anything - nothing but Aleks himself. 

A pretty face was always worth something to the bandits who had become depraved beyond anything, especially if they had no women in their groups or young, nice looking men like Aleks. James wouldn’t lie to himself and say that Aleks wasn’t more than passable, because he was. His deep brown, wavy locks had grown long enough to be pulled back into a small, soft ponytail, and his body was thin and soft due to him not having been on the run for seven years like the rest of them, and his skin was silky and pale, still soft and unblemished. If he had tried to trade his body, then one of them would have taken his offer without a doubt. 

James gave Aleks a side-glance, sizing him up carefully. He didn’t look anymore ruffled than before, he looked tired, but that was probably because he had spent all of his time carrying James around and looking after him without any actual breaks in between. He probably hadn’t slept since James had passed out, and who knew how long ago that was at this point. James had no way of telling the time at this point

James bit his bottom lip hard, and it was his silence that set Aleks off. 

“Don’t,” Aleks said, his eyes threatening and challenging James all the same. 

“Don’t what?” James asked, resting his head against the wall behind him as he waited for Aleks to answer him. The tiled walls were grimy and dirty and felt clammy from the heavy humidity inside the small building, but that was the last thing he cared about at this point. He could barely keep his head up, his exhaustion bone deep.

“I know what you’re thinking, and I want you to stop it, right now,” Aleks said. “I didn’t ‘sell’ myself, so don’t worry about it.” 

James was quiet for a moment, then breathed a heavy sigh of relief through his nose when he realized that Aleks hadn’t been lying. He could tell that he wasn’t lying about that by the sincere expression on his face. Aleks was a few things, but someone who made a career out of lying he was not. He told white lies every now and then, but nothing that would only hurt someone, especially James. 

Aleks had obviously gotten a hold of the drugs somehow, however, and no matter what it was, James didn’t care so long as it didn’t get him hurt in the end. Aleks needed to learn how to survive in this new world, anyways, and James knew he couldn’t shelter him from everything forever. If he were ever to get severely hurt like he did back then, Aleks would need to fend for his own. Obviously, he hadn’t done a terrible job of it. 

“How long was I out for?” James asked after some time had passed, settling for something that wouldn’t put Aleks on edge and reducing some of the uncomfortable tension in the room. Asking anymore questions about him being hurt was obviously not a good choice, as it only seemed to make him more upset in the end. 

“About 5 days.” 

“What?” James asked, sitting up straight and groaning at the odd coiling feeling in his gut. He passed it off as hunger as he was more concerned with asking Aleks how he had gotten so far with him being out. It had obviously been a heavy burden on him, and he regretted that more than anything. 

“We just stayed here,” Aleks said quietly. “I wanted to keep going for the camp, but I didn’t want to risk hauling us off course by accident or ruining your recovery. I wanted to watch you to make sure you were getting better and not worse.” 

“Oh, fuck,” James whispered, “I’m so sorry you had to look after my sorry ass for so long.” 

“Did you not just come from doing the same for me?” Aleks asked, “you know, you saved my life more than once, for that I owe you mine.” 

“That’s not how that works,” James said, clearly annoyed as he scrubbed a hand through his hair. “I went to save you and you ended up having to save me. What a fucking disaster.” 

“It’s fine,” Aleks said, “I’m just glad it worked out.” 

“You found some good antibiotics, I’m guessing,” James said, lying back down on the ground as the exhaustion deep in his bones was making him uncomfortable. It was odd, now that he thought about it, even his leg didn’t hurt anymore. He was certain that even after it healed it would take some time before he would be able to walk properly but he could move his leg freely without any pain. 

In fact, with the way the bullet had hit him, he fully expected to have a permanent limp. 

“You’re lucky you found drugs so good, I can’t even feel the damage anymore.” 

“Yeah,” Aleks said, softly as he looked at James. “I’m lucky.”

\----

Aleks stood over a small stream of water, watching his own face warp in the small ripples the protruding rocks made on the surface of the clear water. He was so entranced that he didn’t hear James coming up beside him. 

“You didn’t change much, really,” James finally said as Aleks brushed away some of the loose strands of hair that were too short to fit into the hair tie, tucking them gently behind his ears. 

“You look just as stupid too,” James said, and even though he tried to sound rude as he had always been, the words had an edge of endearment to them. Though the words had always been rude, to him, they were compliments he only shared with his most important friends. 

James crouched down next to Aleks in the grass, looking into the stream with him. 

“You didn’t change much, either,” Aleks said, dipping his fingers into the stream and making the water ripple gently, distorting their faces on the surface. 

“Oh, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Aleks said, still not looking up from the pond.

“You’re still full of shit, obviously.” 

Aleks laughed quietly. 

The sun was beginning to go down, and the surface of the water became a deep orange to mimic the sky. 

They sat in silence for some time before James stood up and began saddling the horse. 

“We should find a place to stay for the night and rest up, we should be back by tomorrow afternoon.”

“Already?” Aleks asked as he looked up, and James couldn’t miss the look on worry marring his soft features. 

“It’s going to be fine, they wouldn’t hurt you” James said, coming to stand next to where Aleks was still crouched, arms wrapped tight around his knees. The darkness was starting to climb in the horizon, and the warm orange glow reflected off of the water and onto Aleks’ smooth skin. “Even if they said something against you or tried to do something, I wouldn’t ever let them hurt you. I promise. I would leave before I let them do anything.”

Aleks finally looked away from where he was digging a hole in the grass with the heel of his foot to glance up at James. He trusted James, so of course he wouldn’t argue with him. He only hoped his reception wouldn't be a violent one. 

“Come on, let’s go.”

\-----

When they had settled into a relatively comfortable looking shack on the outskirts of Kain’s territory, Aleks felt comfortable for the first time since James and he had been on the run. He felt safe with James, but he was never able to get comfortable because of the constant worry of bandits and Luke’s soldiers coming after them. Now he could truly enjoy James' company. 

“This is one of the old soldier’s outposts,” James said. “There was a breach on this side about a year ago now, so they don’t bother with this place much anymore, they’ve expanded toward Nevada instead.” 

Aleks nodded his head as he put his pack down on the floor, watching absently as some of the contents rolled out. He didn’t care at this point anymore, he was almost too tired to keep himself standing. He sat on the edge of the dusty bed in the room – a real bed, a welcome comfort – and watched as James started a fire quietly. 

Aleks cradled his head in his hands and James looked up at him with a worried expression on his face. 

“It’ll be fine, Aleks. Don’t think about it too much, it’ll just upset you more.” 

“I can’t help it, I’ve never been around these people before, they don’t know me,” Aleks finally said. “It’s only you and Jordan, that’s it, that’s all I have.” 

There was silence that broke over them for a short time as they both thought Aleks’ outburst over. He understood, he really did, Aleks was nervous and was reacting like this because of that, but it didn’t make him feel any better about it. 

“Isn’t that enough?” James asked, and the hurt expression on his face made Aleks’ stomach drop. He didn’t mean for it to sound the way it did, but he couldn’t go back on it now.  
Aleks stood up and walked over to James’ side, sitting down beside him and the fire that was steadily growing. Aleks still didn’t know what to do in regards to building a fire, but he often watched James doing it. He threw a few sticks on the fire, as if he was going to make a difference to it, trying to do something to ease the tension in his own body. 

“That’s not what I meant,” Aleks sighed, “I’m just scared.” 

“I know,” James said, finally looking away from the fire and meeting Aleks’ eyes. 

Aleks could see the glow of the fire glinting in his eyes, and the warm hue it painted his skin in contrast to the soft blue of the moon on his other side. He looked tired and worn down in this light, like he hadn’t slept in years. And that wasn’t entirely false, James had been running non-stop, but he was still unmistakably the same James he had known all those years ago. 

“You don’t have to worry though,” James said, his voice pitched lower than before, as if he were getting ready to tell Aleks a secret. “I’ll protect you.” 

“I know.” 

The silence that followed now wasn't uncomfortable, but was filled with hesitance on both ends. 

He didn’t know if it was the way James glanced down at his lips very briefly or not, but what pushed him to move forward first could have been any number of things given the way he felt about James. It would have been a lie to say that he still didn’t have feelings for James even after all this time had passed, but they had certainly been reinforced when James had saved him from the hospital after searching desperately for him for years.

When he pressed his lips against James, the other man gave way to him almost instantly, pressing back with just as much desperation as he had. 

James combed his fingers through Aleks’ hair and pulled loose the tie that kept his hair in a small ponytail, letting the hair cascade around his lithe shoulders. Aleks fought back the urge to groan when James hands worked down his back, pressing against muscles that were taut from all the walking and running that his body wasn’t used to.

James wrapped a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him in closer so they were chest to chest, the feeling of their hearts pumping frantically together almost overwhelming them. Their lips were both dry from the wind and the dehydration, but Aleks hardly cared about the little details at this point. These things were inconsequential, because he was finally here with James and they were safe, that was all he wanted and needed right now. 

This was helping him forget those bandits from before, and how he had almost lost James soon after they had finally been reunited under circumstances that had been impossible to begin with.

Though part of him was worried that this was just pent up frustration on James’ part, and that he didn’t really feel that way about Aleks, he continued despite himself. Even if it was, it didn’t matter, nothing really mattered in a world that could come to a screeching halt any day. 

They pulled away just to breathe, if only for a second, and James took the opportunity to press kisses into the crook of Aleks thin neck. Biting down, not enough to quite break the skin but enough to leave a visible mark on him on the soft flesh above the collar bone. The mark would stay there for weeks. 

This was James way of claiming Aleks, perhaps, or keeping unwanted people away from him. It was something that an animal would do to claim its territory, but as far as it looked to Aleks, everyone had been forced to become animals now. This was just James way of protecting him, so he wouldn’t argue or protest to this kind of objectification. He even craned his neck to allow James better access, letting James hands work the tension in his back and shoulders gently as he did so, reminding Aleks that he wasn’t doing this to insult him or demean him. This was enough for him. 

James pulled away from his neck and pressed a searing kiss to Aleks’ kiss swollen lips, tongue laving over the tender skin. 

James finally opened his eyes, and when he did he became flustered at his own actions, backing away from Aleks and holding his hands out in front of him as if to apologize for what he had been doing. 

“No,” Aleks said quietly, closing in on James again until they were only a breath away. “It’s ok, I want this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I've started my third year of Uni so I was very backed up. I should be fine now, so expect more frequent updates. :)
> 
> Look forward to the next chapter. ;)


	11. Love Moderately

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“I know, it’s ok,” James said, rubbing circles into Aleks’ sore back. “Whatever it is, I understand.”_

When he pressed his lips against James’ the other man gave way to him almost instantly, pressing back with just as much desperation as he had. Judging by this reaction, Aleks hadn’t been the only one that felt the way he did. 

James combed his fingers through Aleks’ kitten-fine hair, pulling loose the tie that kept his hair from spilling into his face and running his fingertips against his warm, flushed cheeks. Aleks fought back the urge to groan when James hands worked down his back, pressing against muscles that were taut from all the running that his body still hadn’t gotten familiar with. 

James wrapped a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him in closer so they were chest to chest. Their lips were both dry and cracked from the wind and the constant dehydration, but Aleks hardly cared about the little details at this point, just the fact that this was James was more than enough for him. These things were all inconsequential in the end, because he was finally here with James and they were safe, and that was all he wanted and needed right now. 

This moment alone, this validation of his feelings, was helping him forget those bandits from before, and how he had almost lost James soon after they had finally been reunited under circumstances that had been virtually impossible to overcome to begin with. 

Though part of him was worried that this was just pent up frustration on James’ part, and that he didn’t really feel that way about Aleks, he continued despite himself. Even if it was, it didn’t matter, nothing really mattered in a world that could simply come to an end in one day. And, considering what James had just taken from Luke, he assumed that it might very well come to an end within the next few days for the both of them. 

James cared about him enough to look for him even after seven years had passed and it had been more than likely that Aleks had died on the first night of the outbreak. This alone was enough.

They pulled away from one another just to breathe, if only for a second, as James began pressing kisses into the crook of Aleks’ thin neck. Biting down, not enough to quite break the skin, but enough to leave a visible mark on him on the soft flesh above the collar bone that would no doubt stay there for weeks. 

This was James way of claiming Aleks, perhaps, or keeping unwanted people away from him. It was something that an animal would do to claim its territory, but as far as it looked to Aleks, everyone had been forced to become animals now. This was just James way of protecting him, so he wouldn’t argue or protest to this kind of objectification. He even craned his neck to allow James better access, letting James hands work the tension in his back and shoulders gently as he did so, reminding Aleks that he wasn’t doing this to insult him or demean him.  
When James wrapped his hands around Aleks’ wrists and his knee brushed against him, Aleks felt his stomach drop suddenly. There was no warning, and the sudden discomfort came crashing into him like a bag of bricks. 

“Wait,” Aleks said as he backed up, feeling the uncomfortable pang in his stomach growing when James’ legs brushed against the back of his thighs and his hands closed tighter around his wrists. It wasn’t that he didn’t want this, but these touches felt all too familiar to him. He didn’t want to associate the horrible things that had happened to him with James, it just wasn’t fair. He didn’t want it to feel like this. 

“Sorry,” James said, backing away slowly. 

“No, it’s,” Aleks started, grabbing James wrists before he pulled his hands away from him. However, he still found himself unable to meet James’ eyes. “It’s fine, I’m sorry, I just can’t do this right now.” 

James was quiet for a moment, and for a second Aleks believed that he was angry with him, or worse yet, annoyed with how fragile his mind had become over those seven missing years. What he didn’t expect was for James to pull his hand free of Aleks’ vice like grip and wrap his arms around his back, squeezing him tight. 

“I know, it’s ok,” James said, rubbing circles into Aleks’ sore back. “Whatever it is, I understand.” 

Aleks felt tears pricking at his eyes again, and felt frustration growing in his gut simultaneously, not at James but at himself. He was weak, too weak, and things that he would have done without a second thought in the past were almost impossible for him now. Everything reminded him of the hospital, and no matter how hard he tried those memories chased him and tortured him. 

He hadn’t escaped the hospital yet, not really. 

Aleks squeezed James back, resting his head on James’ shoulder. He couldn’t have asked for a more understanding and patient person to help him through this. He didn’t think he could ever convey how grateful he was to James. He didn’t think it was possible. 

“If you want to talk about it,” James said, his voice low to avoid startling Aleks who was slowly falling asleep, “I’ll listen, but if it’s too soon, you don’t have to say anything. You don’t ever have to tell me, and if you want, you can just pretend none of that ever happened. I don’t care, as long as you’re ok.” 

Aleks nodded his head, and though he didn’t say anything he knew James caught it. 

“I won’t let that happen again,” James whispered, “so you can forget about that place.” 

Aleks squeezed tighter, pressing his face closer to James’ neck to hide his tears. He knew James would feel the warmth of them soon, but it didn’t matter because for now he wanted to look like he could handle things, if only for a moment. 

They both sat like that until Aleks fell asleep, the drying tears on his face shining in the dying light of the fire. 

\-----

When he woke up the next morning, James was lying beside him, still asleep and warm from the heat of the blankets, his breathing soft and relaxed. It was rare that he slept longer than Aleks, but it was only understandable that he was tired after everything he had been through. 

Aleks turned over in bed so he was properly facing James, partly to take in some of his heat and partly to get a better look at him while his face was peaceful for once. Aleks had never really gotten a good look at him when he wasn’t in some kind of pain or distressed in some way, so this was nice. 

James’ features were smoothed out, but the seven years that Aleks had missed had obviously changed him in some ways. There were new – albeit thin – lines on his face, and though most of them were from being in the sun too long or from frowning, some of them were from age and stress. He had noticeable crow’s feet now in the corners of his eyes, and he had a few grey hairs peeking out from the black. 

Aleks reached out and pressed his thumb to the frown lines between his eyes, smoothing the skin there. 

Aleks snuggled closer to James, keeping his head under James’ chin to take in the sleep warmth radiating from his body. He felt safe like this, and comfortable. He hadn’t known the true warmth of someone for seven years, all he had known during that time was sticky rubber gloves, faceless stares, and the cold, sterile and brittle blankets that they provided him with when they finally let him sleep. 

Aleks closed his eyes once again, pulling the blanket up beneath his chin and deciding that another hour of sleep would be fine. 

\-----

Aleks could see the tension lift from James’ shoulders when they reached the first waypoint as he appeared to recognize the guards on duty there. He didn’t say anything to Aleks, but he knew that he had been worrying about the camp and how it would look when he got back because of how he had wronged Luke. He probably expected the camp to be destroyed when they returned, and Aleks wouldn’t have been entirely surprised if it had been destroyed. 

“They don’t know anything about you, so don’t worry,” James said back at him as they approached the first waypoint gate. The men had obviously recognized James from afar, as they had already holstered their guns as he drew closer to them. “It’s only Kain and Jordan who know what you look like, so it’s fine. They usually just let me through without checking anything out, but they might stop me because of you. Don’t worry about it.”

James slowed the horse to a gentle trot as the guards had motioned for him to stop, obviously interested in the extra passenger seated close behind him. If there was one terrible thing James didn’t do, it was steal people from other camps, and this had obviously interested the guards on duty. 

One of them held out their hand to stop James, and he finally brought the horse to a halt in front of them at a reasonable distance. Normally they let James run on through even after huge expeditions, so he knew what this was about. Aleks could feel the frustration emanating from James, but he kept quiet despite his obvious annoyance. 

“Oh, who’s this you got with you,” one of them asked, motioning toward Aleks with a leer on his face that made Aleks’ draw back behind James. These men reminded him of the bandits that they had run into before, and it made his stomach twist uncomfortably. 

“I’ve never seen you bring anyone back,” the other one said, walking closer and moving as if to grab at Aleks. His greasy blonde hair slipped from behind his ears as he tried to get a better look at him from where he was approaching. 

“Don’t do that,” James said, causing the man to stop in his tracks. He slowly pulled his hand away but he continued on with that gut twisting leer that made Aleks want to hide his face from them. 

“Tell me who he is and I’ll let you right on through as usual, James,” he said, still not taking his eyes off of Aleks. 

“I took him from a group of bandits on my way in,” he said with a shrug. “I stole some other stuff from them, too.” 

“Seven years and I haven’t seen you do anything like this,” the other guard said. “What’s so special about this one?” 

“Nothing, I was getting bored and he had a pretty face. That’s it.” 

Though he knew James didn’t really mean it and was just trying to protect him and his identity, it didn’t stop the small pang of hurt he felt in his chest at those cold words. 

The guard leaned back, dragging his eyes over Aleks uncomfortably slow. The man looked suspicious, and the other guard continued to make uncomfortably close circles around the horse. 

“True,” the guard said, pushing at James’ anger by reaching up and brushing some of the hair out of Aleks’ eyes. Even after he had seen the large red and black bruises covering his neck, he still over stepped, “I’m sure Kain wouldn’t mind, either.” 

Aleks knew not to stop them from doing this, so he didn’t pull away when the man’s dry and cold fingers brushed over his skin. He needed to grin and bear this, just for now. 

Aleks could see James clenching his teeth by the way the skin of his cheeks jumped as the men continued to test his patience. 

“We need to check if he has anything on him,” he said as he finally moved his hand away from Aleks’ face, “get him off of the horse.”

“No,” James said, no hesitation in his voice.

One of the guards raised their eyebrows, looking up at James with what he probably believed was an intimidating glare. 

“Kain’ll be mad if…”

“Bring him down here then, if you’re so sure he wouldn’t want me coming through,” James said.

“God damn it,” he said, “you know we can’t do that. Kain’s been really busy lately.” 

“I don’t care, if you’re so determined to check this guy then you’re going to have to call him down here. I don’t like sharing my things, especially with dicks like you.” 

“Fuck you,” the blonde guard spat, “get him down off of the fucking horse now, I don’t care if you don’t want to sha-”

James bucked at the horse to get moving, and though the guard cursed at him and threatened him, he didn’t once even move to draw his gun. The look on James’ face was all Aleks needed to see to know that if Aleks weren’t there, he would have killed the two men at the outpost without thinking twice. He hadn’t killed them because he hadn’t wanted to upset Aleks and have him see any drama inside the camp before they even entered. 

“I’ll have them taken care of later,” was all James said as they rode further into Kain’s territory.

\--- 

Aleks arms tightened around James when they came to the second waypoint, not because they were getting closer and closer to the camp but because of the way James jerked when he saw the face of the man at the outpost. 

“Kain,” James said quietly, looking back at Aleks and smiling to reassure him that everything would be fine. 

Aleks didn’t know much about Kain outside of the fact that James seemed to genuinely trust him just as much as he trusted Jordan, so he would trust James instincts on this and try to quell the fear that was rising in his throat at the sight of this man. 

“Well, well, well,” Kain said, looking in their direction when he heard the sound of Ein’s hooves beating the packed dirt. James was right, he certainly wasn’t anyone all that attractive, but he possessed some serious intimidation skills. He couldn’t believe that someone who had no current anger in his features could look so dangerous, and he could only wonder what he was like when he was really angry. Aleks couldn’t believe that Jordan and James had managed to become his right hands, considering the way he looked. Jordan and James looked nothing like that, if anything, they were less intimidating than most because of their warm personalities and good looks. They were also far younger than Kain, which Aleks found to be the most jarring thing about their strange relationship. 

However, maybe that was the idea that Kain had had when he made James and Jordan his right hands. He wanted to lull whoever it was they were after in a false sense of security, make them think that they could be easily bartered with because they looked so friendly, and then overtake them. It made sense, really, Aleks would be terrified if Kain walked into a room, but he certainly wouldn’t feel as threatened by James or Jordan. 

James stopped the horse from rearing up when Kain approached, patting her muzzle gently to calm her down. She had been on the run for so long that she was still finicky and nervous, just as James and Aleks both were. And, even though he trusted Kain quite a bit – almost as much as Jordan at this point – he still unconsciously turned the horse away from Kain so Aleks was further away from him. He knew this was dangerous, this overly possessive behaviour, but he didn’t think too much about it. He had just saved Aleks, and simultaneously consummated his feelings for him, he wouldn’t let anyone hurt him if he could help it, even Jordan and Kain.

Kain laughed raucously at James’ cautious movement, holding his hands up in front of his chest and waving them around to indicate that he meant no harm to Aleks. Even though the move James made was minute, Kain was very obviously picking up on the tension just from the way James was watching him, anyone would have. 

“Relax, relax,” Kain said, “I won’t touch him.” 

James let some of the tension ease out of his face, now just looking at Kain with a smug grin on his face. However, it was more than just something simple and childish like that, he felt anger at the man, and some form of strong defiance because he had managed to find Aleks all while defying Kain’s orders. He had been right all along in looking for Aleks, and Kain and Jordan had tried their hardest to stop him from looking for him. If they had been successful, James would have never seen Aleks again, let alone get to talk to and hold him. 

He would have been miserable if they had succeeded. 

Kain’s brows furrowed deeply, “I’m surprised to see you bring someone back, you usually aren’t too keen on fucking outsiders.” 

James raised his brows back at him, “this is Aleks.” 

Kain grew quiet for a moment, his brows furrowing for a second before he cocked his head to the side. The dumbstruck look on his face was surprising, and the shock that was evident in his features was rare for a man like Kain who had seen many things since the start of the outbreak. 

“Bullshit,” was the only word he could muster. 

“Why the fuck would I go so far and then bring back some random? Don’t you think that would have been the last thing on my mind at this point? This was my final lead.” 

Kain bit down on his bottom lip, and James didn’t miss the curious look of worry that crossed his features.

“How the hell did you break into such a huge hospital all alone? That place was so heavily guarded, there’s no way you were able to scour the whole place and find Aleks all while staying hidden…” Kain asked, obviously straining to avoid yelling at him. He knew that James had done something that would end badly. 

“They pretty much brought him to me, it was a total accident that I had found him, actually,” James had a hard time reminiscing because of how hard that time had been, but he wanted Kain to get the full story. “One of them had shot me when I tried to sneak in, and I ran to the basement to hide. I was actually just going to give up and let myself die there in one of the depositories, but then I heard some people coming down the stairs.” 

Aleks stopped for a second at those words, and how casually James had said them. He was just going to let himself die because he couldn’t find Aleks. James had felt, at that moment, that death would be better than not being able to get Aleks back. Aleks swallowed hard and went back to listening carefully. 

Kain was also listening to everything he was saying, eyeing James unbelievingly. 

“I heard them talking and I don’t know why but I got this – this skin crawling feeling, I don’t know how to describe it, and I got up and went out for reasons I don’t even understand. I was going to let the doctors go at first that were carrying him down there to hide him and take off, but then the person under the sheet moved. I couldn’t see his face, but then I saw his arm hanging out from under the sheets, and his tattoos, and realized it was Aleks. I killed them and ran off with him after that.”

There was a heavy silence for a long period, and James couldn’t imagine what Kain was going to say. Sure, he had found Aleks, but he had just made their relationship with Luke’s faction even worse than it already was. No doubt, war would be on the horizon for all of them. The first time that had happened, Kain had made a big fuss over protecting James, at this point, however, he didn’t know if he would do it again. Hell, James wouldn’t have protected himself after most of the awful shit he did. 

“You went and fucked with Luke again,” Kain sighed, his voice strained as he fought back the urge to yell, running a hand through his oily, raven black hair. “Do you know how hard it was to keep that motherfucker off of my steps, and now you went and took someone from his group? He’s really going to fucking end you now, James, and don’t think I’m going to be able to stop him this time.” 

James frowned, “why do you think he would come after just one person.” 

Kain was quiet for a minute, “he was in the hospital, and obviously he was important if they were treating him. You probably took Luke’s bitch or something, you fucking idiot. ” 

“Hey, watch what you fucking say about him,” James shot back. 

“You know, I can talk,” Aleks piped up from behind James. “I wasn’t Luke’s anything, just so you know.” 

Kain twisted his mouth into a cruel sneer, “well, we’re all saved then.” 

“Oh, fuck yourself, Kain,” James said with a sigh. 

Aleks was surprised by the banter between the two, in all honesty. He expected the relationship between a right hand and the ring leader of a huge faction of resistance to be quite familiar and professional. Aleks wondered what Jordan was like with Kain. He couldn’t imagine someone like Jordan getting along with a brutish man like this. 

“You know, you assholes told me to stop looking for him, but look at how fast I got him back. Fuck yourself,” James said, spitting at the ground where Kain was standing, narrowly missing one of his boots. 

Aleks’ eyes widened at this action, but judging by the grin on Kain’s face, this kind of attitude was commonplace, particularly with James. James was lucky that this person was willing to put up with his personality, as there were many that didn’t seem to like it very much, evident by the way the guards reacted to him. 

“Yeah, it only took seven fucking years, not a long time at all,” Kain laughed. 

James rolled his eyes. 

“Whatever,” Kain said, letting out a loud sigh “come on, bring him back to camp so you can show off your new toy – or old toy, I guess I should be saying. There’s not much I can do about this now.”

Kain turned around before James could respond to that, eyebrows furrowed. He looked like he wanted to say something to him, but he turned back to face the road after a quick glance at Aleks.

A few of his men were with him, no doubt more of his most trusted soldiers considering how close they were to the outskirts of the base. 

“Where’s Jordan?” James asked, letting the horse walk a bit quicker to keep pace with Kain’s stronger steed. 

“Back at camp, he just came back from a run so he didn’t want to do the outskirts today,” Kain said. “That’s why I had to come out here, since you decided to run off for, what, almost a whole year?” 

“It wasn’t that long,” James scoffed, “and aren’t there other people to do this kind of work?” 

“You have an awful lot of questions.” 

“It’s weird for you to be out here,” he said. “In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you out here at all.” 

“You know,” Kain said, “I was going to keep this quiet until we got back but we’ve had a few ‘bandits’ get through and fuck up a bunch of our men, but now that I’ve heard your tale I realize that they were Luke’s men. That’s why I’m out here, James.” 

James bit his bottom lip. 

“Ah, well, fuck,” Kain said, running a hand through his long hair. 

“He really does look like Ron Jeremy,” Aleks whispered to James, to which he responded with a loud laugh. 

Kain looked at Aleks, then at James, “what the fuck did he just say?” 

James stopped laughing for a bit, then looked over at Kain, “nothing, dumb ass, keep going.”  
James’ problem with this whole situation was the fact that more bandits hadn’t hit the camp yet. Considering what James had done, and how much time he and Aleks had wasted just trying to dodge rogue bandits, he would have thought that Luke and his bandits would have attacked by that time. However, it seemed as though nothing much had happened outside of a few small breaches. 

“So, Aleks,” Kain started, looking back at him once more. 

Aleks fought the urge to hide his face behind James and instead looked directly at Kain. Obviously, by the way James was able to speak to him, he wasn’t quite as dangerous as what he had heard, at least not for people that meant something in the group. If Aleks hadn’t had James with him right now, there was really no telling what he would be like around Aleks, he might have even killed him or given him back to Luke, judging by the way that he had reacted upon seeing him. 

“I guess this is a loaded question, but what do you remember?” 

James had asked this to Aleks a while ago, but it had only baffled Aleks when he really thought about it. Aleks didn’t know what had happened to him, when he really sat down and thought about it. It made him feel sick when he tried to dredge up the memories of what had gone on, and he could only remember a few brief flashes of the things that had happened to him while he was in the hospital. He knew they had done things to him, but when he really sat and thought on it, he only had a very vague idea. He knew that, more often than not, he had been in a lot of pain. Perhaps this was just his mind building a wall to protect him from the harmful memories, and if so, he didn’t want to scratch at that wall much more. 

“I,” Aleks started, gripping the soft material of James sweater tight in his fingers. “I’m not entirely sure, I can only remember a few things.” 

Kain hummed aloud, finally looking away from Aleks. “I guess that’s to be expected.” 

James was quiet for a moment, and Aleks hadn’t really thought about Kain’s reaction until he felt James tensing up. 

“Why is that to be expected?”

Kain seemed lost in thought for a minute, “trauma often times makes gaps in people’s memories, I suppose.” 

That was fair, and Aleks realized James was being paranoid but he couldn’t blame him. If he had really been looking for so long, it was no wonder he was so worried about something happening. 

James’ grip on the reins loosened, and the tension eased from his body very slowly. He was tense, and for good reason. Even though Aleks had never been to this place, something felt off about everything around them. 

“Kain, the soldiers at the next outp-”

“Shut up,” Kain said, holding out his arm and successfully shushing the dark haired solider beside him. 

There were people hiding in the shade of the trees, and before Kain even had the chance to give orders, a loud shot rang through the woods and one of the soldiers fell off of his horse with a look of shock marring his features.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I apologize for the lateness of this chapter but I have been swamped with work to the point of not really having enough time to do... well... anything ;-;. Mid terms are done, however, so I will try to squeeze in quite a few more chapters before work starts picking up again!


	12. A Madness Most Discreet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _James veered in to try to get close to Kain, but a bullet whizzed past his head, a warning that if he went any further he would be shot and killed._

Kain’s horse worked at a furious trot and Ein was having trouble keeping up with it despite moving at full speed. Kain’s horse had been specifically bred for speed, whereas Ein had been bred from simple barn horses.

“See,” Kain shouted back at them, “this is what you went and did. I knew it was too damn quiet out there for it to be normal.” 

James looked back at Kain’s soldiers, watching as another one of them crumpled to the ground with a pained expression marring his normally stoic features. The soldiers sent by Luke were obviously skilled as they quickly made their way through the confusing, thick brush surrounding Kain’s camp without faltering. They even managed to quickly work their way over the steep inclined hills without getting lost or losing speed. 

“I need to get more soldiers,” Kain said, “I can’t let them overtake us, we’ll get pushed down right into Stefani’s territory if that happens.”

James nodded his head, already falling back into his instincts as one of Kain’s soldiers. He sped Ein up by digging his boot heels into her flanks, something he rarely did. However, with this, he was finally keeping pace with Kain as they rode back to camp. 

“Fucking shit,” Kain cursed as he looked back to see that only two of his seven soldiers remained. “I hope they got one of those fuckers, at least. Useless bastards, I shouldn’t have let them into the damn group.” 

Even now after so many years spent with Kain, James always felt a little uncomfortable with the way that Kain referred to people as if they were his sheep, but he did his best keep from speaking up against him. He had seen why Kain was cold and reckless, and it wasn’t because he wanted to be that way, but because he needed to be that way. This was what it took to keep the group together. 

“How long does it take to reach the base?” Aleks asked, looking over his shoulder as the last soldier fell to the ground, barely able to make out his shape through the thick emerald brush as they advanced. 

Aleks looked shaken, but otherwise calm given the circumstances. He had seen more than his fair share of terrible things, after all.  
“We’re about thirty minutes to get to the centre, I’d say.” 

“You’re so close to Luke’s territory, how do you manage?” Aleks asked, looking toward Kain whose brows were still furrowed. 

Kain bit his lip, obviously wanting to say something but holding it back in favour of focusing on the road ahead of them. It was pointless now, however, as there was obviously an all-out war starting between the two factions of equally reckless people. There was no way Kain could hold off Luke any longer. 

\----

From what he understood, Luke and Kain controlled the two most volatile groups and both of them were dangerous and overwhelming. They had both secured controlled by being ruthless. 

Aleks bit his lips as he looked to the side of them, waiting to see the telltale signs of Luke’s faction colours leeching through the emerald green pine trees. Time seemed to slow around them when a twig snapped. 

He could now hear the rustling in the woods behind them becoming louder, so much so and at such a great speed that he was beginning to worry that these people were going to come out of the woods and start attacking them without even considering tracking them to their base. 

Unfortunately, Aleks had been right. 

The first one came out of the woods so quickly that even James and Kain didn’t have time to react. The man that came from the trees grabbed onto James’ coat and began trying to drag him to the ground. 

None of them had anticipated this. 

The man in question had a rifle strapped to his back and a gun strapped to his hips, so it was clear to Aleks now that they weren’t trying to kill them. If they had been, they would have shot at them from a distance instead of coming at them head on. 

Considering all the damage James had supposedly done to their group in the past, it wasn’t all that big of a surprise to Aleks that they were more interested in taking him alive. 

James tried to wrestle the man off of him while simultaneously trying to keep Ein up to speed. If the other soldiers came out, he couldn’t possibly fight them off. The man had almost succeeded in pulling him down and James’ only saving grace was that he still had his rifle strapped to his back and within arm’s reach. 

James let go of the reins and grabbed the butt of his rifle, forcing it upward and stabbing the soldier beneath the chin with the makeshift bayonet on the end of it. The man silently fell to the ground, and his horse went with him. 

It was unbelievable, the speed at which they worked and reacted, both Kain and James. Aleks barely had time to get upset about another soldier coming out of the woods when James drew his gun and shot him down before there would be a repeat of what happened with the soldier from before. 

The man he shot tumbled from his horse, and if he didn’t die from the bullet wound in his chest, then the other soldiers’ horses trampling him certainly did the job.

They were so intent on getting a hold of the three of them that they were willing to trample over their dying comrades like they were nothing but grass. 

“Sit at the front,” James yelled back at him when he saw more soldiers coming from the back. Without a word, he grabbed Aleks’ arms and began pulling him toward the reins.

“No,” Aleks shouted at him as he wrenched his arm out of James’ vice-like grip, “they won’t shoot me. You’re safe if I’m back here. Luke wants to take me back, I know he does. I promise they won’t try to shoot me, so please, just trust me.”

James peered back at him over his shoulder for a second to meet his eyes, and when he seemed convinced he reluctantly grabbed back onto the reins and kept going forward. He didn’t look comfortable with the idea, and the tension in his shoulders grew tighter and tighter as they weaved through the familiar terrain, avoiding as many stray bullets as they could. It was lucky that they were so familiar with the terrain, because Luke’s soldiers couldn’t manage to get even one hit on them as they shot wildly through the thick flora. 

“God damn it,” James said, “they’re going for Kain.” 

“Why?” Aleks asked, holding on tight as James coaxed Ein into jumping over a high bed of soil, almost losing her footing as she did so. She wasn’t as sturdy, fast or as confident as the other thoroughbred horses. 

“If they kill Kain, then they know there’s going to be a struggle for power inside the camp. If that happens, then they can take over.” James winced as a bullet lodged itself into a tree only a few seconds away from the back of Kain’s neck. 

Aleks watched in panic as Kain dodged bullet after bullet after this, ducking his head and weaving to avoid any stray branches that stood in his way. He hoped he was as strong as James made him out to be, because the fight this started clearly wasn’t going to end here. This was only going to get worse and worse as the days dragged on. 

Aleks clenched his fists and decided that he would be more than willing to bear all of this and more if it meant that he could stay by James’ side for even a few days more. 

\----

The way the soldiers were attacking now was forcing Kain and James away from each other. Half of the soldiers were going to kill Kain, and the others were heading in their direction in an attempt to capture the two of them. 

James veered in to try to get close to Kain, but a bullet whizzed past his head, a warning that if he went any further he would be shot and killed. However, he was smarter than them. They really wouldn’t kill him. Luke wanted that satisfaction and he also wanted Aleks back very desperately, judging by how far they had went to get him back. 

It was only now that James really started to wonder why Luke wanted Aleks back so bad, and why the people at the hospital had panicked so much when James tried to take him. 

Immunity from the Larkspur Infection was rare, but not rare enough that they would need to keep someone shut up in a hospital and the CDC for seven whole years. Many immune people would prostrate themselves to the “better cause” and many hospitals would work on them to no avail. There was no cure. As it stood, the CDC announced that there was no way to plausibly cure a virus that no one really knew the origins of in the first place. In order to kill the virus, you needed to kill the host; that was it. 

So why Aleks? 

James didn’t have much time to think on it, however, as he turned in toward Kain. He could feel Aleks gripping his shirt tighter, but he seemed to trust him enough as he didn’t protest to what he was doing. He had been right, too, as bullets whizzed past them but never actually hit them. These soldiers were more than skilled enough to hit a moving target from afar, there was no way they were doing this by accident. They were bluffing, and both James and Aleks had called it.

James closed in behind Kain, keeping the rear to guard Kain from the onslaught of bullets. 

James could hear the soldiers behind them clamoring around loudly and calling orders at each other. They knew that their plan was wrecked, for the time being, anyway. However, what worried James the most was that they didn’t seem upset, but rather more pleased than anything about what they were seeing, like something had been proven to them here. 

The soldiers behind them slowed their speed until the only thing they could hear was the sound of their own horse’s hooves hitting the battered pathway to the camp. They were almost there, as the path was becoming more and more beaten. 

\----

As they came barreling to the gates of the camp, Kain immediately called out for more of his soldiers, sending a number of them – properly armed and protected this time unlike the other unfortunate soldiers that they had been forced to leave behind – to guard the perimeter of the base camp and search for Luke’s soldiers. They had been prepared for something like this to happen, obviously, as they left for work quickly and without any delay. Aleks was impressed, to say the least, about the surprising togetherness of these has-been thugs and bandits. He supposed, however, after seven years of horrible things happening to you and the people around you, you would be able to get it together as some point or another. You would be forced to. 

“I shouldn’t have been stupid enough to go out there,” Kain cursed. “Fucking dumb ass thing to do.” 

James shrugged the blood slicked rifle from his shoulders when Kain got off his horse and walked up next to them. 

“And you, fucking dumb ass,” Kain said, pointing at James, “I need to see you later. We need to talk.”

James nodded his head, he knew it wouldn’t be a talk so much as it would be Kain yelling and screaming at him for acting so carelessly. It would most likely end with Kain telling him that this was his “final warning” even though he had said it to him so many times before that James had lost count. 

Kain was a loud, intimidating man until you got to know him properly. After you started to really understand him, he was just a man that yelled a lot, but had a hard time enforcing rules with people that he knew or deemed vital to their group.

“You told me to go ahead though, just saying,” James said with a quick shrug. 

Kain looked back and opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, but instead closed it and turned back around, headed in the direction of his house. As James watched Kain’s retreating back, from around the corner he realized why he had been most excited to get back. He wasn’t the only person alive that Aleks remembered. 

Jordan came around the corner almost on queue, squinting as the sun nearly blinded him. Despite the sun, he seemed to know James was there if only by Kain’s yelling.

Jordan kept his eyes shielded from the sun as he ran up to James’ horse, obviously glad to see James alive, but so focused on James himself that he failed to see the extra passenger only inches away from him. 

James could feel Aleks tense up from behind him as Jordan got closer and he realized who he was. 

In fact, when Jordan finally reached the horse, he didn’t have a chance to get a glimpse of Aleks as he jumped down from the horse. James didn’t stop him, only watched as Aleks wrapped his arms around Jordan’s neck and pulled him into a tight hug. 

He couldn’t blame Aleks, he hadn’t seen anyone is years, so of course he would be ecstatic to see a friend that he had assumed had died at the beginning of the outbreak. 

Jordan looked shocked at first, his expression confused when Aleks wrapped his arms around his shoulders, gripping him impossibly tight. Jordan was wary of hugging back, so he grabbed Aleks’ shoulders and pulled him away to get a better look at his face. When he finally saw who it was, however, his reaction was to be expected, and almost exactly mirrored James’ initial reaction. 

Despite how happy James was at this reunion, Jordan’s happy tears and the way he hugged Aleks close made James a little angry, or rather, very angry. Jordan had been one of the first few people to tell him to stop looking for Aleks, and that it was a waste of time, and here he was. 

He told James that Aleks had died on the first night indefinitely. Yet here he was, standing in front of Jordan, a little worse for wear but still alive. That was all that mattered. James felt an argument rising in his throat, but he held it down to avoid upsetting Aleks after finally being reunited with Jordan. If he were to start a fight here with Jordan, then he would hurt Aleks, and he couldn’t do that to him after all he had put him through already. 

Jordan was also his friend, and though he had been wrong about Aleks actually being dead, that didn’t mean he had the right to tell Jordan he was a bad person for it. Jordan had only been looking out for the best interest of the group, and all signs would have pointed to Aleks being dead after the first night because of the rapid spread of the infection, the wound Aleks has sustained, and the survival rate being so incredibly low.

Jordan had also wanted to protect James in some roundabout way by keeping him away from the search for Aleks. He was afraid that he would find something he didn’t like and go into an even deeper depression than he had already been since the start of the outbreak. He was one of the people that believed it would be better to live not knowing at all than knowing something that might have been detrimental to mental health, particularly James’ who was already incredibly unstable to begin with. 

James was absently listening to the conversation Jordan and Aleks were having, but he was too focused on the sight of Kain, coming back to where they stood. He didn’t look angry this time, however, more interested on getting in on what they were doing. 

After Jordan finished talking to Aleks, he finally looked up at James who still sat on his horse, staring off into the distance with a look on frustration set in his normally stony features. James only reacted when Jordan clapped his hand against his knee to draw his drifting attention back to what was going on. 

“I’m glad you came back,” Jordan said, his hands lingering on James’ legs, “and, I’m sorry. You’re probably pretty mad at me right now, huh?” 

His face was still red from the tears that had tracked down his cheeks when James finally looked at him. He was obviously happy that Aleks was alive, so he couldn’t find it in himself to be mad at him, especially now of all times. Jordan had just been being realistic about the situation, because in all reality, this was far out of the ordinary, especially in a world like theirs was now. Aleks should have been dead long ago, but yet here he was, happy and only a little worse for wear even after everything he had been through. 

James finally got down off of his horse to stand next to Jordan and Aleks, and he wouldn’t lie that standing beside them again gave him a great feeling. Here he was, standing next to his closest friends again.

Dan, Seamus, Dex, and Kevin were another story, and though they weren’t there, it didn’t matter. All of them had chosen to leave, and they had had a chance to say their goodbyes, whereas Aleks had been taken against his will and tortured despite how hard he had tried to escape and get back to them. 

He knew, deep down, that this reasoning was just him trying to deny the fact to himself that he considered Aleks more important than all the rest of them, but he tried not to dwell on it too long. Everything he needed was here, and that was all that mattered right now. As long as he could keep these two people safe, then it really didn’t matter anymore. 

“Bring him back to the house, I’ll be back after,” Jordan said, motioning towards Kain who was barking orders at some of the soldiers standing around. 

Aleks – almost puppy-like in his eagerness to be next to James again – came to his side quickly. James decided to take Ein with them rather than let the soldiers deal with her, wanting to reward her with proper hay and water after so many months on the road with barely any breaks or good food in between. Aleks followed close beside him, looking around but still avoiding making eye contact with any of the locals who tried to get a good look at his face. 

It was now that James was finally starting to see the real damage that being kept in the hospital for seven years had done to Aleks. Though he was fine with James despite some emotional lapses, when he was near all these strangers he was fearful. His eyes were wide and constantly watching the people moving around him, but he never actually met their eyes. This was only natural, considering all that he had been through, and James considered himself lucky that it wasn’t far worse than this. 

Despite this, his mood had obviously improved quite a bit after making it back to the camp. His posture was better too, he stood straighter and looked more confident than he did before, and it was obvious that he felt safe here, and James would make sure it would stay that way. If it didn’t, then he would run off with him and not bother looking back at everything that he had left behind. For James, there was only pain here, but with Aleks by his side, he was sure that it would get better over time. 

He hadn’t been paying attention as Aleks quietly slid his fingers into James’ palm and twined their fingers together. It was meek, and Aleks didn’t look up at him when he did it, keeping his head lowered to avoid the looks of some of the people in the camp. This was an action borne out of fear rather than love, but James wouldn’t lie that it made his chest clench, if only a little. 

James squeezed back a little tighter, keeping their fingers locked together, reassuring Aleks that he wasn’t going anywhere. It was childish and playful, like something teenagers would do, but it was nice to do something so innocent in a world that was anything but that at this point. 

It was hard to love someone in a world like this, because there was always a strong chance that they would be taken away for good and you would be left with nothing but the hindrance of crushed feelings. But, what point was there to pretending the feelings weren’t there, and suffering just as much when the person died even if those feelings hadn’t been consummated? In fact, he believed it would be more painful, and he had evidence. When Aleks had been taken away seven years ago, he had absolutely fallen to pieces soon after it all happened, and there was nothing anyone could do about it but watch as his sanity eked away. 

When they reached the door to the front of the house, James pushed it open and let Aleks head inside so he could properly stable Ein. Though there was normally a central stable for everyone’s horses, being Kain’s right hand had its perks. Though it was unfair, and many people complained about it – particularly about James in particular because he was almost never there – he would take advantage. The world had been cruel to him, and he lived selfishly now, thinking only of himself and the very few people that were important to him. 

As he stabled Ein and hand fed her some hay before putting a bale down in front of her, Aleks came out of the side door and stood next to him, brushing the horses’ hair calmly. He liked this, and so did James. For once, it was quiet and calm. 

When Aleks finished gently brushing all the knots out of Ein’s hair coarse, he put the brush down and looked up at James. 

“Come on,” he said, “there’s a shower inside.” 

“You two really do have a lot of perks, huh?” Aleks asked as he followed James inside, looking at the small, dorm style apartments across the street that looked like small camps. That was an understatement, however. 

A woman came out and gave James and Aleks a sour look, hanging out a shirt that was dirty with blood and mud out on a line. Aleks looked a way, feeling guilty under her intense stare. 

The house he had been given by Kain to share with Jordan was, admittedly, luxury compared to some of the other houses and small apartments. As it stood, most of the random soldiers and lower downs were stuck in tight, dorm like quarters where they had been forced to share everything. 

“It’s not fair,” James said, “but if we didn’t take it, someone else would. That’s just how things work now.” 

Aleks didn’t protest. He was glad; he wouldn’t have been comfortable sharing quarters with nameless strangers. 

No words needed to be exchanged between them as James lead Aleks into the bathroom and pulled his shirt over his head when they reached the shower. He undressed him carefully, almost softly. He liked this affection, so it didn’t bother him, he liked being pampered after being treated so roughly at the hospital, and if James liked it too, then he didn’t care. 

It would be nice to finally be able to shower properly, with soap and hot water, as the water in the ponds and lakes they had been at hadn’t been quite good enough for him. He didn’t feel as completely clean as he would have liked to. 

James threw the shirt to the side in a bin with a few of what was most likely Jordan’s clothes as he pressed his lips against Aleks’, gently nipping at his lower lip that was still slightly swollen and red from a sun burn.

Aleks did the same for James, pulling their bodies flush together after he had pulled off his shirt. Their bodies were still warm from the heat outside, and James made a point of closing the curtains in the window.

James leaned back far enough to twist the knob to turn on the shower without breaking contact between them. They shed their clothes quickly, dropping them to the floor in heaps, no longer caring about avoiding making messes. The clothes themselves were irreparably dirty to begin with, so it didn’t matter if they were left to sit on the yellowing tiles on the bathroom floor. They would have new clothes to wear. 

James walked Aleks back into the shower, pressing him up against a tiled wall. The lukewarm water felt good on their chapped and sunburnt skin, and they just stood there in silence, letting it wash the sweat and dirt off their exhausted bodies. 

James could tell that Aleks was already starting to become stronger. His body wasn’t quite as soft and putty-like as it was when he had rescued him from the hospital, and though he was still considerably skinny, he still had some lithe muscles working under his pale, sunburnt skin. 

James ran his hands up the taut skin covered Aleks stomach and chest, laving soap over him as he did so. Aleks didn’t protest, letting James do whatever he wanted and returning the favour by taking the bar of suds from him.

There was nothing inherently sexual about their interactions at this point, they just quietly washed each other as they took in the silence and peace they were finally being allowed. They both knew that it wouldn’t be quiet like this for long, so they basked in it while they could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a long time, but exams really took a toll on me. I am better, however, and will have more time to work on this now. :D 
> 
> (I edited this on the bus while an old lady almost sneezed herself to death behind me, so please forgive me ;o;)


	13. My Only Love Sprung from my Only Hate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“C’mon, dumb ass, wake up,” James said, shaking his arms and finally getting Aleks's eyes to flutter open for him. He didn’t really want to wake him like this, but he knew that the sooner they got this done, the better._

“Kain wants you to come into town today, with Aleks,” Jordan said, motioning to Aleks who had fallen asleep on the couch in the middle of the den. He had been exhausted for some time now, and had fallen asleep almost immediately after they had gotten out of the shower. 

James sat on the ground beside him, stroking his already fluffy, but still-wet hair. 

“Why?” James asked as he stood, his knees cracking. “Can’t he wait for tomorrow? Aleks is dead tired, and I’d prefer if he just slept for now. I need sleep too.” 

“Well, it’s not about what you prefer or want, James,” Jordan sighed. “This is about what Kain wants, and he’s not going to stop dogging you if you just stick around here. Plus, you should both eat something, you’re not looking so colorful right now.”

James bit his lip, “yeah, I guess so, huh? Fuck.” 

“Come on, it’ll be nice. You can introduce Aleks to some of the others so he doesn’t feel so out of place,” Jordan said. 

“Yeah, fine, I’ll wake him up.” 

Jordan grabbed James shoulder before he turned away, his lips pressed together like he had something to say but didn’t quite know how to get it out.

“What?” James asked, his eyes concerned. 

“Sorry, it’s nothing” Jordan said with a forced chuckle, finally hanging his head and tearing his eyes off of James after what felt like hours. It wasn’t like Jordan to act like this, but nothing was “like Jordan” at this point, at least not anymore. 

James passed it off as nothing, however. He was far too tired and too cranky to be bothered with trying to decode what had been going on with Jordan since their abrupt return. 

Jordan waited patiently for James to wake Aleks up. 

“Sorry, I know you’re tired, but Kain wants you to come to town today to meet some people,” James said, elbows propped up on the overstuffed couch next to Aleks, “are you up for that?”

Aleks seemed a little confused, his deep brown eyes still bleary with sleep. However, he still managed a slurred “yeah” under his breath in response. 

He seemed content, lying there under warm blankets, and James felt bad about moving him from there. 

They had just gotten back, after all. 

“I’ll be waiting for you there,” Jordan said as he turned his back on them to leave them alone. “Don’t keep Kain waiting too long.”

James nodded his head at him, taking to his feet to lock the door behind Jordan, his socked feet padding quietly along the chipped floating floor. 

It was odd that all of this had become a foreign feeling to him. He spent so little time at the base camp that he wasn’t familiar with the feeling of a solid floor beneath his socked feet, the smell of home rather than dirt and rain, and the feeling of security rather than having to watch your back constantly. This had become so ingrained in James that he still found himself checking over his shoulders and sneaking around as if he had something to hide from. 

“Come on,” James said to Aleks who was starting to fall back asleep. His head was turned into the couch so far that James wondered if there would be an imprint of his face there when he finally managed to pull him away from the cushions.

Aleks didn’t answer James at this point, too exhausted to even listen. It was obvious that those months of constantly being on the run were taking a toll on his already feeble body. 

“Fine, up you go,” James sighed as he lifted Aleks up from the couch, placing him down on his feet. James resisted the urge to laugh when Aleks didn’t even blink, practically dead on his feet as his slowly lolled back toward the couch. 

“C’mon, dumb ass, wake up,” James said, shaking his arms and finally getting his eyes to flutter open for him. He didn’t really want to wake him like this, but he knew that the sooner they got this done, the better.

“’M tired,” Aleks said, voice still slurred. 

“I know, but you’re probably hungry too, right?” 

Aleks considered this like it was a big question, and for a second James had thought he had nodded off again while standing up before he nodded his head slowly at him. 

“Come on then,” James said, “you can meet some people in town. I promise that they’re not all like Kain or the soldiers.” 

Aleks smiled at him, it was tired and weak but still a smile – sleep rosy cheeks and all. Aleks finally stood up on his own, “let’s go then, boss.” 

James shoved Aleks gently toward the door, “yes, let’s go before you fall back to sleep again, lazy ass.” 

\---

The inner center of the camp was relatively bustling that night, most likely because a lot of nosy people had heard that James had brought someone back with him. No one outside of Jordan and Kain knew about Aleks because they felt it would start a problem with others. James had a lot of enemies, and it would be best not to give them fodder to use against him. 

James already had a lie in mind to tell them when they asked, and it was decent enough. If he just told them something akin to, “I met him on the road, and I liked him so I decided to take him back with me,” they would listen. 

James was known to be impulsive, and though this was something often times damaging to his reputation, it was proving itself helpful here. The last thing he wanted was for Aleks to be used as a pawn to get at him. 

There was still a risk of that happening, however, so James needed to put on his best act with Aleks. 

Treating people like objects wasn’t something James enjoyed doing, but he knew he needed to do it to avoid anyone touching Aleks or attacking him if he were ever alone. Though the central camp wasn’t massive and luxurious like that of Luke or Stefani’s individual camps, it was still big enough that Aleks could go missing or get taken away without anyone noticing, and James wouldn’t stand for that. He needed to act possessive today, so that the other soldiers who often got cocky knew better than to touch what was his. 

Often times, a few of them would get to the point where they would try to take something that belonged to James in an attempt to get a rise out of him. He knew that it was because they wanted the kind of treatment he got from Kain themselves, it was anger because they knew James didn’t deserve it. He would often just put up with it in the end to avoid starting unnecessary fights, this, however, was something he couldn’t put up with. 

James lead Aleks out of the house, hand wrapped around his wrist like a vice rather than the comfortable grip from before. He needed to play the part, and he couldn’t slip up if he wanted to uphold the image he had given himself to keep the soldiers from defying any of his orders when they went on raids. 

Aleks seemed concerned about this acting, looking at his hand then up at James with his brows furrowed. 

“There’s some really dangerous people among the soldiers,” James said. “So right now, we’re going to have to pretend that you’re some nobody that I picked up for the hell of it.” 

Aleks didn’t hesitate in nodding his head, “so act like a victim, right?” 

“Yes,” James said quietly, keeping his eyes ahead on the road as they passed a group of people that didn’t make any effort to hide their scrutinizing stares. “Just act demure, keep your eyes down a lot, and don’t look at anyone or anything, not when I’m around, anyways.” 

Aleks nodded his head, taking to the role rather quickly. Though he was still obviously happy that they had made it back, he did a good job of playing the pitiful, demure role when he needed to do it. He was a man of a wide range of emotions, and though this often wasn’t one of them, he still did a good job faking it and making himself look somehow smaller than what he actually was when he was next to James. 

James almost dragged him behind him as he made his way into town, letting Aleks limp-walk behind him as he did so. Some of the women seemed upset by his treatment of Aleks, and even some of the men appeared as though they wanted to say something. This was exactly the reaction he was hoping for, but it was eating away at him all the same. 

He hated that, hated having people thinking he didn’t care about Aleks, but he needed to keep him away from the other soldiers. If he looked soft in any way, he knew that they would take advantage of it. 

He chanced a look back at Aleks, trying to keep his expression set as he did so. His eyes were dark underneath – he looked exhausted. He was sure that he couldn’t possibly look any better, but he was worried about Aleks. 

He was about to ask Aleks how he was when he realized that they had already made it to the center of camp. 

He hauled Aleks in behind him to Kain’s table, plunking down next to him with Aleks. Both Jordan and Kain seemed concerned with the way James was treating him, but as soon as James looked at them with raised eyebrows, they realized that he was putting on an act. They were smart, familiar with each other’s body language, and only nodded their head at James to acknowledge that they understood.

“You seem uncomfortable,” Kain said, looking at Aleks who sat quietly next to James, clearly feeling the weight of the stares from the people around them. People were purposely finding excuses to come over and get a good look at him. 

Aleks peered out of the corner of his eye as a few young girls leaned over to try to get a better look at his face. 

“Don’t worry about it, people are even nice to the criminals here, they’re just freaked out over James bringing someone back.” 

Aleks looked up, Kain was much nicer and far milder sounding than what he was when he was talking to James or Jordan, or any of the soldiers for that matter. It appeared as though he was nice to all the common folk, the ones that needed protecting the most like the children and the elderly. He just pushed his soldiers to their limits, but he supposed that was what it took to take care of such a large remaining crowd of people who had most likely been on the verge of killing themselves or others. 

“Actually, if anything, they’ll probably be nicer to you because of James,” Kain said as James argued with one of the soldiers sitting behind them. It appeared that this was commonplace. 

“No one likes him very much, but they’re scared of him, and that’s more than enough to take control around here.”

Aleks nodded his head, not able to find any words as his head was so bogged down. He wanted nothing more than to sleep right now, but he knew he needed to endure this for a little longer. 

\---

Aleks listened absently as James went over the details of how he found Aleks, and what he did to get away from Luke’s soldiers. His head was feeling light again, and he was considering being rude and resting his head on the table when James patted him on the shoulder, waking him from his sleep-deprived thoughts. 

“He knows more, but it’d be better for us to go now,” James said. “He’s tired, you’re not going to get anything out of him when he’s like this.”

“Fine,” Kain said, seemingly pleased enough with what James had shared with him. “I’ll let you two rest for a bit, but we need to talk about this seriously very soon. Even the little details are important here.” 

James nodded his head and stood from the bench, clearly a lot more tired than he let on as he steadied himself on the bench. 

Jordan reached out to steady him but James waved him off, taking a deep breath and sighing before he stood up straight again. 

“I’m fine, I overexerted myself today.” 

“Get the hell home then,” Kain said as he took to his feet. “You’re going to have another busy day again tomorrow.” 

\---

Aleks had been hoping to wake up like he had fallen asleep, with the feeling of a warm body pressed into his side. Instead, however, he woke up with an empty space beside him and cold sheets. 

It took a second for things to register, but Aleks felt panic rise in his throat when he realized he was alone, throwing off the covers quickly. 

However, before he panicked enough to run downstairs to look for James, he heard the sound of muffled voices coming from outside. 

Dawn had barely broken, and the clouds covered up the suns vain attempts to heat the cold ground. 

Aleks pulled back the blinds only enough to look outside, and saw James standing in front of the house talking to Kain. Jordan had a horse by the reins and was quickly stuffing things into a backpack as the two of them talked  
.  
He couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but it seemed like a benign enough conversation if their body language said anything about it. James’ shoulders weren’t tense like they were when they were in town or when he thought something bad was going to happen. 

Aleks felt his heart finally steadying, and he sighed as he took a seat on the edge of the bed. The warmth of the bed was calling out for him, so instead of fighting it and getting up, he slid back under the covers and closed his eyes, falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

_____

Aleks awoke again when he felt James climb into the bed beside him, but his eyelids were fighting hard to stay closed on him. He tensed up at first, and James obviously noticed this as he started stroking his arms. 

Aleks flinched at the cold touch. 

“Sorry, my hands are probably cold, huh?” 

Aleks finally managed to open his eyes, looking up at James where he sat on the edge of the bed. 

“What did Kain want?” 

“Nothing, he wanted to talk to me before him and Jordan went on a run,” James said. 

Aleks furrowed his brows in concern, “where are they going?” 

“Not far,” James said. “They’re just checking the perimeter to make sure nothings off, they should be back in a few days.” 

“Oh,” Aleks said, relaxing. He had been worried about something bad happening to Jordan right after he had seen him again after so long. 

Aleks closed his eyes again, prepared to fall asleep when a thought suddenly came to his mind. 

“James?” Aleks started. 

“What?” 

“What did you do that made Luke so angry?” 

James was quiet for a minute and Aleks thought that maybe he had pushed too far, but James suddenly sighed and began speaking. 

“Well,” James said, “it’s kind of a long story.” 

“We have all day,” Aleks said. “Please.”

“You won’t look at me the same when I tell you what I did,” James said. “It’s the reason why no one trusts me here. It's why everyone turned their backs on me.” 

“I told you before,” Aleks said, finally waking up more, “I wouldn’t turn my back on you, right? You’ve already told me a lot, and I still trust you.” 

James sighed. 

“Please,” Aleks said again. 

“Luke’s gang caught me when I was skulking around and were keeping me prisoner to use as ransom against Kain,” James said. “I shouldn’t have been there and did it against Kain’s order, but that doesn’t even brush what happened when I was there.” 

Aleks was quiet as James adjusted himself to get more comfortable on the bed. 

“They had me locked away in a prison cell for a few days, it’s all a little hazy for me because I had gotten heat stroke, but I remember it enough. When I finally came to, there was a woman standing in front of the bars. She had long blonde hair and these piercing blue eyes, I remember it vividly. She was just watching me, quietly.” 

Aleks finally sat up at this, back pressed to the headboard so he could listen closely.

“I was still kind of confused, but I came to quickly when I saw what she was holding.” 

Aleks cocked his head. 

“A gun,” James said, “she had it pointed right at me, right through the bars.” 

James ran a hand through his hair again, obviously saddened by whatever had happened here. 

“That was her mistake though,” James said. “She had it pressed through the bars, so without any hesitation I reached for it and took it from her.” 

“You shot her,” Aleks said. 

“Yeah, I did, but not right then. Instead I shot the lock off of the cell and walked out. I was holding the gun out at her, I remember telling her that I wouldn’t shoot as long as she stayed quiet and didn’t make any move toward me. She did, of course, she fucking ran at me with a knife and I panicked.” James sighed, “I still didn’t know much and my reactions to everything were still wild and impulsive. I wouldn’t have shot her if I was in that situation now, but I was young and scared.” 

“Well,” Aleks said, “you told me you’ve killed lots of people, so why is this the thing that made everyone turn against you?”

“I shot Luke’s wife, Aleks,” James said. “I didn’t just kill her, either, she was fucking pregnant. I knew it, too, I could see it clearly, but I panicked and I shot her anyways.” 

Aleks was quiet for a minute, taking this in. Everything finally fit into place now. Everyone was scared of James because they thought he was a mindless killer, and this murder of a pregnant woman – the wife of the opposition, no less – had really sealed the deal. 

Aleks moved closer to James whose hands were trembling from having to tell that story. It was clear that this was the first time that he had told it to anyone. Aleks held his hand over the back of James’ and leaned his head onto his shoulder. 

“You’re not bad, James.” 

“Why else would everyone have turned on me over this,” James said. “They didn’t believe me, Aleks, none of them. Because of the things they saw me do before they didn’t believe that I killed her by accident.” 

Aleks didn’t say anything, just rubbed the back of James’ head to reassure him that he was listening, and that he understood. 

“Even Jordan…” James swallowed hard, “even Jordan didn’t believe me, and you should have seen the way they all looked at me when they found out. I’ve never felt so-”

James was becoming frantic now, so Aleks got to his knees and pressed a soft kiss to James’ trembling lips. When he pulled away, James had calmed down some, though Aleks could still feel his fluttering heartbeat through his chest. 

“They’re wrong,” Aleks said. “They’re wrong for not listening to you. I know everything that you did, I know you’ve killed innocents, but I also know you did it to survive. I believe that you didn’t kill that woman on purpose.”

James nodded his head slowly.

“They don’t know you like I do,” Aleks said with conviction. “Even if I’m the only one that believes you, that’s all that matters. I know and you know, no one else matters.” 

James was quiet for a minute, then nodded his head slowly, “you’re right, we’re all that matters right now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel the need to remind you guys that this is not a fluffy story by any means, and if something seems foreboding then it probably is, jsyk. ;) 
> 
> ++
> 
> As a side note, I created an 8tracks playlist to go along with this. I used the songs that I’ve been writing the story with, they're by some pretty fantastic artists. Check it out if you want :)! - http://8tracks.com/captainmotgane/goodnight-til-it-be-morrow -


	14. Before the Worshipp'd Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> _Why would he leave in the dead of night? Where could he have gone?_  
> 

They were quite obvious when they were alone together in the privacy of their own home.

The woman across the street always watched them despite knowing it was wrong of her to do so, but she couldn’t help herself now that she knew what was really going on between the two of them. It had started innocently enough; one day when she was putting out the laundry to dry she heard James’ voice from the horse corral. This was normal enough, but what caught her attention is that there was something off about it. He was laughing, something she had never heard him do before. She almost passed it off as someone else that sounded similar, but her curiosity had gotten the better of her and she had peeked around the corner of their makeshift apartment building and was met with something she hadn’t expected. 

James stood there with a large smile plastered on his face, his cheeks slightly rosy from laughing. It was a marvel, really, and she wondered if she wasn’t dreaming. She had never seen James with anything but a scowl on his face – though she truthfully really didn’t see him often. 

What got her even more, however, was the fact that he was laughing at something the brunette boy he had taken back to camp with him had said. They both stood there, laughing as they took turns running a soapy brush through his horse’s coarse mane. 

She had backed away, not wanting to push her luck, but she couldn’t help herself when she leaned back out to watch them some more. She was curious now, a million things running through her mind at this sight. 

When she watched, she couldn’t help but note that there was something very natural about the way they acted around one another, completely different than the way she saw James treating him in public. 

It almost seemed as though they had known each other for years. 

It started becoming a daily habit of hers after that evening. Every night or late afternoon when she would go out to hang clothes or empty buckets, she would watch them through the corner of her eye, trying her best to not look suspicious. Whether they were inside or outside in the horse corral – she watched quietly. 

It was an odd feeling she got when she watched them. Initially, she had felt hate toward James. She had heard of the horrible things he had done, how ruthless and cruel he was, and every time he greeted someone it was with a scowl or a short and sharp nod. With this boy he had picked up, she got to watch his face light up when he laughed, but it wasn’t just happiness that she saw there – she got to see a range of emotions she had never seen from him before. He furrowed his brows, rolled his eyes, scoffed, but most of all, he looked at this person like he was something special. He listened quietly when he appeared to be telling him something, and sat quietly, comforting him when the boy was sad or upset.

It became apparent to her very quickly that James had been putting up a front in public to protect the boy because he genuinely cared about him.

It was then, after all this, that she realized James didn’t deserve even half of her hate. He hadn’t directly done anything to her, and some of the things he had done had been to ensure the safety of others – this was a good example of that. 

She didn’t know what to believe anymore. 

What she did know was that there had been a rumor a long time ago that still got carried around every now and then. The rumor had been that James always disappeared for long periods of time to look for someone that he had lost at the beginning of the breakout, as the two of them had been at ground zero. A lot of people didn’t believe the story to be true, and that James was only that way because of the things he had seen, but she was starting to wonder if it was true or not. 

This person that James was with seemed far too important to James for him to just be someone he decided to pick up out of boredom along the way.  
James was incredibly affectionate with this person that he brought, so much so that they acted as if they had known each other for years rather than a month or two. James, before he had come back, had also been gone for so long that people were starting to wonder whether he would come back or not. 

The point was, in her mind, that if there was a person that James had been looking for for so long, it had to be this person. Her theory was further proven by how comfortable and friendly Jordan, who was normally closed off from people had had known for a long, was with him all the time. He had no complaints about Aleks staying with them, and Kain had welcomed an outsider with open arms for the first time. He tried to make it appear as though he were doing it only because James had been forcing his hand, but it was obviously something else, something like knowing in his eyes.

There was also the fact that James hadn’t left after a month for the first time since he had joined. It seemed like he had always been gone, and only really came back for raids and large supply runs. When he went out on his own, however, he often disappeared for a long time and came back empty handed, solemn, and hurt in some way or another. He had come back once, nearly dead, his face pale and the only thing keeping him going was his horse. With all the terrible things in the world, they had assumed that he had been infected by a larkspur, however, they had quickly found out that he had contracted the Norwalk Virus while he had been on his run. 

“Dina,” she heard a voice behind her call – her husband. “Come inside now, it’s cold outside.” 

She nodded her head as she folded the last piece of clothing, ready to walk into the warmth of their small apartment. Before she did, however, she spared one last glance at James who sat in front of the slighter boy, brushing some of his stray hair behind his ears.  
It was then that she decided that she would not say a word or show any indication that she knew anything to anyone. If this was what made James less frightening and lifted whatever burden was on his shoulders, then so be it. Everyone deserved some peace in their lives after everything that had happened.

Peace, however, could only last so long in a world that refused to stop for anything. She knew that, James knew that – they all knew that.

\------

James awoke in the middle of the night, his shirt clinging to his overheated body despite how frigid the air inside the house was. 

Waking up with a start like this was a common occurrence for him, it was nothing out of the ordinary and was usually caused by nightmares – however these nightmares were often repeats of terrible things that had actually happened to him. At one point in his life he was perpetually sleep deprived because of this, but now that the cause of most of his nightmares – and waking ones – was sleeping soundly by his side every night, he could often close his eyes and slip away again without the fear and guilt of everything that had happened weighing so heavy on his shoulders. 

This night in particular, however, the object of his concerns was nowhere to be found. When he opened his eyes, he was met by sheets that still carried a hint of the heat from Aleks’ sleeping form, but that were still cool enough that he could have been gone for some time. 

James sat straight up at this, an uncomfortable feeling coiling in gut, and immediately checked the washroom for Aleks. The door hung wide open and no candle light flickered from anywhere inside the house. He checked downstairs, and around the horse corral – he found nothing. 

His worst fear after returning to camp was finally coming to fruition.

James knocked on Jordan’s door in a last ditch attempt to find out what had happened to Aleks, and was only met with the blank stare of someone who had just woken up and could not quite form coherent thoughts. By that look alone, James knew that there was no way he knew what had happened to Aleks. 

James didn’t even allow Jordan to finish his sentence as he threw the front door open and ran outside. He didn’t even have the mind to shut the door behind him as he ran down the stairs, letting waves of cool air billow into the already chilled house.

It was below freezing outside, and frost crept up the metal sheets that covered some of their makeshift houses. Puffs of white billowed in front of James’ face as he breathed in and out raggedly. If Aleks was outside, he would be freezing. 

He opened his mouth to shout Aleks’ name, but stopped himself just before any sound breached as he realized that would only stir up the rest of the people in the camp. If everyone came out of their houses then there really would be no hope of ever finding Aleks. He shut his mouth, but fidgeted as he desperately wanted to call out for him. 

This situation felt all too familiar to him – it made his skin crawl at the realization. 

James cursed silently, looking around himself as he decided where he would look first. It wasn’t a small camp by any means, Aleks could have went anywhere, and if the sun came up before he found him it would be an even more difficult task. 

What he needed to realize the most, however, was that Aleks had left the house out of his own volition, and that scared him even more than the idea of someone else having taken him. 

Why would he leave in the dead of night? Where could he have gone?

James tried to calm his racing heart, but he was unable to make it stop. Scenario after terrible scenario played itself out inside his head, and the idea of losing Aleks for the second time only made it worse. 

He hadn’t even realized that he had started running at this point, and to where, he didn’t really know. He ran in a random direction into the woods first of all, hoping that he could see Aleks’ brightly coloured sleep shirt through the dark and unhealthy trees. 

He always thought the steadily dying trees were horrifying and only served as a constant reminder that eventually everything would die after being sucked of all their life by the larkspur. Now, however, he was thankful for them. From a distance, as James ran through the trails and contemplated what could go wrong, he saw Aleks’ blue sleep shirt peeking through the dying trees and foliage like a beacon. 

From where he was standing, James could see that he was crouched down, his lanky arms wrapped around his knees as he looked down at the ground where a small pond stood in front of him. He seemed to be completely lost in thought – his eyes looking at nothing in particular. 

James would have let out a sigh of relief at the sight of him, but his mind was beginning to worry over other things. Aleks was not acting like himself; this was not something Aleks would do knowing how worried James was about him going places without him, especially at night. 

James ran through the trees to him as these thoughts played themselves out in his mind, so intent on getting to him that he carelessly let the thin branches whip him and leave long scratches down his flustered cheeks and bare arms. 

When he came to Aleks’ unmoving side, he stopped and stood stock-still beside him. Aleks wasn’t hurt, as far as he could see, but the fact that he didn’t react at James running up to him is what caused even more worry to rise up in his throat. 

He couldn’t hear himself breathing, couldn’t hear the wind rustling the trees or the sounds of dogs barking in the dead of night. All he could hear was Aleks’ shallow breathing and the sound of the leaves crunching beneath his clenching toes. 

“Aleks,” James said softly, so as not to startle him from whatever trance he was in. 

There was no response, and Aleks remained still, staring straight into the small pond before him, unblinking. 

“Aleks,” James said with more conviction, grabbing Aleks’ shoulder in hopes of breaking him from his distraction.

Aleks finally reacted when James touched him, gasping in shock and jumping back away from his warm hand. At this sudden movement, his legs dipped into the frigid water and he hissed at the contact before yanking his leg out. 

James jumped back in turn, surprised at Aleks’ reaction to him. 

James could barely see Aleks in the dark, so he crouched down beside him so he could get a better look at his face. 

“It’s me,” James said, reaching a comforting hand out to grab Aleks’ arm. His skin felt like ice – like he had been out here for hours – but all the same, it was incredibly feverish beneath the surface. 

Aleks didn’t respond, but his breathing seemed to be steadying some. James took this as his queue to pick Aleks frigid body up, hefting him into his arms as he walked them back to the house.

James could feel panic rise inside him as he rushed back to the house with Aleks cradled in his arms, Aleks who had barely reacted to him picking him up – something he normally would have protested to. His body was freezing, and he had been sitting outside in below zero temperatures in nothing more than a t-shirt for what could have been hours.

When he made it back to the house he swung the door open and immediately placed Aleks on the couch to search for blankets to warm him up. He still wasn’t saying anything, which only made James worry about him more. All he could hear was the blood rushing to his ears as he desperately searched for blankets. 

When he was finally satisfied with the blankets he had found, he wrapped them around Aleks’ shoulders and turned toward the lights and flicked them on to get a better look at Aleks. It hadn’t seemed as though he had been hurt in any way outside, but the dark of night and the shadow cast by the looming trees had limited most of what he could see.

What he turned around to see, however, was not what he had expected. 

Aleks right sclera was entirely pink. It looked something similar to pink eye, but even the skin beneath his eye was red and inflamed. It certainly didn’t look like anything he had ever seen on a person before. James could only stand and stare for a minute, and the look on his face seemed to be the thing that took Aleks away from his thoughts as he reached his hand up and covered the inflamed eye. 

“What happened to your eye?” James asked as he reached out. Aleks, however, slapped James’ hand away before he could touch him, still not moving his hand away from his eye. 

“It’s fine,” Aleks said, “it’s probably just allergies.” 

“What the fuck kind of allergies do that?” James asked incredulously, “Aleks, whatever that is it isn’t allergies.”  
“It’s ok, it’s fine,” Aleks said, “so please, just let it go.”

James scrubbed his hands over his face, looking off into the distance at nothing in particular as Aleks fidgeted uncomfortably on the couch. 

“What do you mean, let it go? Aleks, what the hell were you doing out there like that? It’s below zero out there and you were just wearing a fucking shirt. Is there something going on? Does it have to do with what’s wrong with your eye?” 

Aleks didn’t respond, hiding his face in the blanket that James had wrapped around him. 

James continued to pace about the room frantically. 

“Why wouldn’t you answer me at first? Aleks, what’s going on-?”

“There’s nothing going on with me,” Aleks shouted, finally looking up to cut James off. “Please, just – I just can’t deal with this right now. I was just sleepwalking, ok?”

James quieted down, but he couldn’t help the feeling of distress that was rising in his gut. However, he didn’t want to scare Aleks, either. Aleks was probably more confused than he was right now, and him freaking out certainly wouldn’t help the situation. 

“Please,” Aleks said, “I’m cold and tired. I just want to sleep.” 

James let out a breath of air, and only then, in the silence, did he hear the sound of the floorboards creaking at the top of the steps, followed by the sound of Jordan’s bedroom door closing quietly. 

He didn’t think much of it, however, and turned back toward Aleks. 

“Ok,” James said as he took a seat in front of Aleks. He wrapped another one of the blankets draping over the couch around his slight shoulders, but not before getting a good look at his eye. 

Aleks let him look for a few moments, however he was clearly uncomfortable being scrutinized so closely.

Aleks pressed a hand over it again when he deemed James had looked at it long enough, “I think it’s just a bad case of pink eye or allergies.” 

“Aleks-” James started. It was clear that this was neither of those things. The way he had been acting before was indication enough of this. James hoped that this wasn’t a sign of something bad happening, and tried to settle on the idea that this could just be a simple infection. It would make sense, considering he was being exposed to all sorts of airborne dirt and disease after having been inside a completely sterile hospital for such a long time. 

He could only hope.

“No, really,” Aleks said as he wrapped his arms around James shoulders, leeching some of his bodies’ warmth. “I’m fine, I feel fine. I’m just tired, I’ve been restless ever since we got here. That’s all.” 

James nodded his head, and Aleks must have felt it as the tension eased out of his own shoulders. James stayed like that, though, rubbing soothing circles into his back until he felt Aleks’ body go limp in his arms. He fell asleep quickly after.

\---

When James woke up, Aleks was – thankfully – still beside him on the couch, his breathing soft and steady. He looked better off today, his breathing was more even than before and his body didn’t look as tense. However, the skin around his eye was still pink and inflamed, and he could only imagine the eye itself hadn’t changed much either. 

Despite telling himself that it would be rude, he leaned over and parted Aleks’ eyelids to check his eye while he was still asleep and pliant. He was upset to see that it didn’t look any better, if anything, it was a little worse than he remembered. He could see pus pooling in the lower lid, desperate to spill over. 

“Shit,” James cursed quietly, letting Aleks’ eyelid close again. Aleks seemed to be in a deep sleep, so he went upstairs to fish around for something to clean his eye out. They didn’t have much outside of water to flush it out, but he decided that that would be more than enough until they could get Aleks to the camp doctor.

As he was walking back down the stairs he noticed that Aleks had started stirring, so he made his way to the couch quickly in hopes of taking care of the eye before Aleks woke fully. He was too late, however, as Aleks grabbed his hand as he was reaching out toward him. 

“What are you doing?” Aleks asked, his eyes still partially closed as he tried to stave off the sleepiness. 

“I’m just trying to clean your eye out,” James said. “I didn’t want to do it while you were awake, but-”

“Is it bad?” Aleks asked. 

James was quiet for a minute, “well, it’s not any worse than it was yesterday.” It wasn’t a blatant lie, as it really hadn’t gotten much worse, but the problem was that it hadn’t been mild to begin with. 

Aleks only sighed, sinking back into the couch. He appeared to be having some trouble blinking from the buildup of pus beneath his lid. It looked painful. 

“Let me,” James said, motioning toward his eye with the cloth and the bottle of water in his other hand. 

Aleks only looked at him for a second, fear present in his eyes. 

“Does it hurt?” James asked. “Be honest with me, please.” 

Aleks nodded once after some time, turning his head away from James. He was twiddling his thumbs, a clear indication that he was worried. 

“It’s ok,” James said, placing his hand over Aleks’, “we’ll take care of this, I’m sure it’s just a mild infection. Let’s just clean it for now and see how it feels after that.” 

Aleks didn’t seem to believe him, but he settled down some, laying back on the couch to allow James to clean out his eye. 

“Maybe this will help get rid of the infection,” James said, spreading Aleks’ lid again to pour water into it. Aleks flinched away, but didn’t make a move to stop James as he reached out with the cloth, dabbing at his eye as gently as possible until he got most of what he could see. 

“Ok,” James said as he wiped at Aleks’ face with the clean side of the cloth, I think that’s all of it. “Now, we should get you to the camp’s doct-”

“No,” Aleks shouted suddenly, causing James to reel back in surprise. Before James could ask him what was wrong, he explained himself in a calmer voice. “Sorry, I just don’t want to be around doctors anymore, ok? Please, anything but that.” 

“Sorry,” James said, his expression pinched at his own insensitivity, “I didn’t even think about that.” 

“It’s fine,” Aleks said, “I’m sorry too, I know you’re just trying to help.” 

“I’ll go there for you, then,” James said without missing a beat, “I’ll explain your symptoms and get you-”

Aleks shook his head, his face almost ghost pale. 

“What?” James asked, “Aleks, you need antibiotics. That’ll only get worse if you let it go any longer.” 

“I’m scared,” Aleks said, his head bowed toward James. 

“You don’t need to be scared, if we just g-”

“What if there’s something wrong with me? What if they kick us out or try to bring me back to Luke because of this?”

“Don’t be stupid,” James said, “an infection is an infection. You know you’re immune, what could possibly be so bad that they’d kick us out of here? I’m still here, after all I’ve done.” 

“Please, don’t,” Aleks pleaded, holding the hem of James sweater as he moved to stand up. 

James sighed, but gave in despite how much he wanted to go. He knew Aleks would never heal after everything that happened to him in that hospital, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t work to ease the pain of those memories or help him forget them entirely, if possible.  
“I can say they’re for me,” James said. “I’ll get you stuff, but I won’t bring you up.” 

“Thank you,” Aleks said, pressing his head into James’ side. “I’m sorry for being like this.” 

James crouched down so he was face to face with Aleks, “don’t apologize for this. This is fine.” 

Aleks’ eyes were still downcast.

“Stay here for a while,” James said. “I’ll get you some medicine for that and you’ll feel better in no time.” 

Aleks nodded his head. 

“Don’t leave the house,” James said, “seriously, I don’t want a repeat of yesterday. I won’t be long.”

Aleks nodded his head and laid back down on the couch, his eyelashes dusting his cheeks as sleep was already starting to take hold of him. 

\----

James was just outside the doctor’s cabin when he heard what seemed to be an argument going on inside. He couldn’t make out exactly what the voices were saying as they were muffled by thick oak and solid glass, but when he ducked and peeked through one of the windows beside the door, he was surprised at the people he saw standing around inside. 

Jordan and Kain stood around the doctor, both of their arms crossed in front of their chests and both of them seeming to be berating the doctor who sat in front of them with his head in his hands. 

He wanted to know what they were arguing about, but just as he was getting ready to press his ear up against the solid wood, Kain and Jordan gave up with one last muffled quip and left the building. 

James didn’t know what it was that compelled him to hide from these two men, but he did. Though he genuinely trusted the two of them, there was something about this meeting that seemed shady to him. Jordan had said nothing of it and had left early in the morning without so much as a word, and when it concerned James he usually took it upon himself to tell James about it. 

He ran quietly to the other side of the building, leaning up against it to better hear what they were talking about as they left. 

James was in luck as they both stopped in front of the door, Kain letting out a long, world-weary sigh. 

“We can’t do this,” Jordan said. “This is way too soon.”

“We can, actually.” 

“Kain, this is cruel,” Jordan said. “I don’t care what Luke thinks, it wouldn’t be right.” 

“Jordan,” Kain said, raising his voice. “I think you best shut up and just let this happen, you know how long we’ve been preparing for this. Why the fuck are you having second thoughts now?”

“They’re my friends,” Jordan said. “I thought I could do it, but I can’t.”

At this, James’ heart rose and began restlessly beating against his ribs. 

Was this about him and Aleks?

“Then we don’t need you,” Kain said, and James sunk closer to the wall as he heard his boot heels crunching the dead leaves on the soft, walk-beaten ground. The last thing he needed was for them to both see him spying on them. 

Kain had long since left, but as far as James could hear, Jordan was still standing there in silence. 

James wanted desperately to confront him, but now he knew that the idea itself was unwise. Whatever conversation Jordan and Kain were having, it was serious, and he was almost positive that it was about him and Aleks. 

If he confronted Jordan about whatever it was now, anything could happen. So instead of walking out and bullying Jordan into giving him an explanation, he stood there and waited until Jordan walked away from the cabin, his shoulders slouched enough to tell James that whatever they were talking about had Jordan feeling conflicted and defeated. 

James watched and waited until he was far enough away to pull back from the cabin. 

If he couldn’t get anything out of Jordan, then maybe he could work information out of their doctor. 

James took the steps inside two at a time, not even taking the time to knock before opening the door and walking up to the doctor who still sat at his desk, his head bowed over some messy sheets of paper scrawled with illegible notes. 

He barely had time to look up when James sat down in front of him. 

“Oh,” he said, “James.” 

The man appeared nervous at seeing him so soon after Jordan and Kain left, and this was more than enough to tell him that whatever Kain and Jordan had been doing here, it had something to do with he and Aleks. 

“Listen, James,” the doctor started, but before he could get his next few words out, James cut him off. 

“I need antibiotics,” James said. “I have an infection.” 

The doctor seemed dumbstruck for a minute, but then relieved. This only served to further James’ suspicions. 

“Uh, sure,” he said, “just give me a second.” 

James watched as a bead of sweat worked its way down from the doctor’s scalp and eventually into the collar of dirty plaid shirt – the colours having long since faded. 

As the doctor dug around, James decided to make an attempt at poking information out of him without showing any indication that he knew what had been going on before he got there. 

“What were you about to tell me before? You started saying something but I cut you off.”

The doctor stiffened for a second as he continued rummaging through the drawers of medicine that they had stolen from various hospitals, home medicine cabinets, and rogue bandits. They had accumulated quite a bit over the years, so antibiotics were not all that limited. 

“Well,” the doctor started, clearly working through his thoughts rapidly, “I wanted to do a quick checkup.” 

“With me,” James asked. 

“Well, yes, but not just you,” he started. “You see, you’ve been around Aleks quite a bit, and since he technically is still infected…” 

“He’s immune though,” James said, “why would it matter?”

“Well, technically speaking no one is completely immune to the virus, it just takes longer to affect certain people or it affects them in completely different ways-”

“So basically, they’re still immune,” James said. 

The doctor sighed but nodded his head, “I guess, but they still carry the virus and there are many complications that come with that.” 

James raised one of his brows questioningly. 

“We’ve found out, from various information gathered at the CDC that infection carriers that do not die immediately can still pass the virus onto others.” 

“Well, I’ve never seen any larkspur on Aleks,” James said with a shrug. 

“No, that’s not it,” he said, “it can be passed in a number of ways by a carrier. In fact, the virus is even more potent through them than it is through the larkspur itself.” 

James was piqued at this, finally deciding against arguing with him any longer. He started feeling an uncomfortable tightening in his gut. The way this man was talking was making him feel like something was about to go wrong, first Jordan and Kain were having a heated discussion with him and now the doctor was asking him about checkups. 

“Listen, I know this is a weird question, but have you come into any kind of contact with Aleks?”

“Come into contact with him? Well, yeah, I mean how couldn’t I have? I carried him from-” 

“No, no,” the doctor said, “I mean, have you had any kind of sexual contact with him?”

James could only blink at the question. 

“I know it’s blunt, but this is important. This isn’t the time to lie to me, James.” 

James considered this carefully, and as the pieces seemed to collide together at an alarming rate in his mind, he could only sit in silence for a few moments as the doctor looked him over carefully. 

Aleks could still pass the infection, and somehow – somehow he hadn’t gotten sick. In fact, the more he thought about it, he realized now that the incident with the bandits shooting him with an arrow hadn’t just been some sort of fever dream – it had all really happened. Aleks had purposefully infected him. 

“- can kill the person they infected almost immediately.” 

“What?” James asked, his eyes still reduced to slits and his brows furrowed as all the pieces fell into place. 

“I said, I imagine you didn’t come into any kind of contact with him, because you wouldn’t be standing here right now, right?” The doctor laughed nervously, scratching the back of his sweat soaked head. 

“Yeah,” James said slowly. “So, about those antibiotics-”

“You know,” he started, “you would tell us if you had, right? You wouldn’t risk everyone like that, I know you wouldn’t.”

James felt his shoulders tense up in defense, there was something more going on here. There was something more that the doctor wanted to ask that he wasn’t, and James had a feeling he knew what it was. 

“Just give me the antibiotics,” James said after a heavy silence had fallen over them. 

“Listen, let’s just talk about this,” the doctor said as he stood from his seat. “If you’re immune, you could potentially sa-”

When James realized where this conversation was going, he drew his gun and pressed it into the doctor’s temple. 

He wouldn’t be able to get out of this. 

“Oh fuck,” he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut against the pressure of the cold steel against the side of his head. “I have the medicine, so just-”

“What were Kain and Jordan here talking to you about?” James demanded, pressing the steel into his head with enough force to make his eyes water. 

The man whimpered. 

“You know I’ll do it,” James said as he clicked the hammer of the gun. 

The man knew he was wrapped at this, and James felt him go limp against the barrel of the gun pressed into the side of his head. 

“They’re working with Luke,” he whispered, tears leaking into his mouth. “They’re going to get Aleks to lure you back to the hospital."

James felt the panic wash over him like a wave, and before he even had a chance to think he let the doctor’s body drop to the ground and ran back for the house. If he was lucky their plan wouldn’t be carried out until nightfall. 

They needed to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm done with my third year of University and I'm back to working at the museum! Chapters should now be coming out regularly. :)


	15. Raised with the Fume of Sighs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> _“Well, at least that one is,” he said, nudging James to the side with the barrel of his rifle. At this, James finally focussed, glaring up at him from beneath raven black eyelashes. There was blood spattered on the left side of James’s face._  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief flashback in this chapter - Jordan's side of the story will mostly be told in flashbacks. :^)

_“Don’t you trust me?”_

_“Of course, dumb ass.”_

_“Then why won’t you listen to me?”_

_“Because I don’t have to.”_

_“He’s dead, James. You’re going to need to face that eventually.”_

_“He’s not. I know he’s not.”_

\-----

James made his way to the house quickly, but it didn't take long for him to realize that something was very off about camp. 

The orange bandanas that the guards usually sported were nowhere to be found. No matter where he looked, there was no orange to be found. 

Had anyone else been in his shoes and had never seen what the camp was normally like, they would have assumed that there was nothing wrong with this picture. He knew, though, and he knew that they were planning to do something to him and Aleks very soon. 

Instead of going straight, he braved the beaten path through the trees to grant himself as much cover as possible. In his frantic actions when leaving the doctors’ cabin, he hoped that he hadn't given himself away. 

More than anything he was panicked about the idea of Aleks sleeping alone at home, completely unaware of what was about to happen - completely unaware that he had been betrayed by Jordan and was about to be sent back to the hell that he had narrowly escaped. 

Aleks was still bearing the scars on his body and the track marks from needles running up his arms from when he had been in the hospital, and it was only now that they were beginning to turn pink and fade into regular white scars.

He didn't deserve this - out of all of them, he was the last person that deserved this. 

Aleks was still far from better, both mentally and physically. He would still have moments where he would go from smiling to crying completely unprovoked, he still scratched incessantly at the track marks on his arm, and he still shivered from the chills late into the night no matter how many blankets James stacked on top of him or how close he pressed his body in to share his warmth with him.

Aleks was a strong-minded person, James knew that more than anyone else, and it had been apparent by how quickly he slipped into normalcy after the hospital, but even someone like him wouldn’t be able to handle another horrible event like this again. Even the most strong of mind individuals would never be normal after what had happened, but he had been on his way to feeling better. 

If he was thrown back into the hospital again, it would kill him.

James pushed himself harder, trying his best to keep his calm as so many things rushed through his mind. He had been betrayed – he and Aleks had been betrayed by Jordan. Jordan had willingly worked against their happiness. 

Jordan, who claimed to have his back through thick and thin, turned on him for Luke and Kain. 

He only wondered, now, just how long Jordan had known about all this – just how long had he been lying to him? 

+++  
**1 Year After the Outbreak**

Jordan sat, kneeling down in the mud with the barrel of a rifle pressed hard into the base of his skull. Every breath he took, he held it, then let it go in one big gust – he repeated this process for what felt like hours – waiting for the blast that would be followed by nothingness; nothingness that, deep down, he silently wished for.

It didn’t come, however, and he felt the weight of the rifle against the base of his skull disappear. He cautiously looked up between his dirty, rain soaked bangs at the man that stood before him and James. 

He was a relatively short man, but he was stocky and somehow made himself look much bigger than he actually was. His hair was long, raven black, and pulled back into a tight, thin ponytail that clung to his head from the rain. 

His name was Kain, from what Jordan could tell after hearing his men shouting at them as they had chased them down. 

He expected the man to be looking down at him and James, but instead he was staring out into the deep recesses of the woods behind them, like he could see the rest of their group hiding in the darkness. 

Their suspicions had been confirmed then - these people had been following them for some time. 

“Come on out and I won’t shoot them,” he shouted. 

Jordan felt himself tense up at this, every one of his muscles crying out at him to get up – and what? He wasn’t sure. He just knew he needed to do something to stop his friends from getting hurt. 

Instead, he sat there stock still, looking up at Kain as heavy, freezing cold raindrops pelted his dirty face and made tracks down his cheeks. 

He finally chanced a look at James – and what he saw there scared him, or rather, it was what he _didn’t_ see that worried him the most. 

James didn’t look in the least bit worried, even as the rest of their group trudged out and one of Kain’s lackeys pressed a gun to his temple, his finger held unsteadily over the trigger. 

His eyes were locked on nothing in particular, downcast as they always were since the beginning of the outbreak. They had just been caught, there was a good chance that they were all going to be killed, and James just sat there with his head in the clouds. 

Jordan wanted to call out to him to wake him up out of whatever trance he was in, but there was no point in doing that at this stage.

Maybe this would be for the best, because it was becoming more and more clear to Jordan that James would never get over what had happened back at the office. He couldn’t blame him for this, not really, but he wouldn’t lie to himself and say it didn’t hurt that James seemed to care nothing about the rest of his friends – the friends that were still alive – whose lives were now in danger of ending abruptly.

Before Jordan could get a chance to say anything or do anything, however, he heard the rest of the groups’ footsteps - slopping through the mud toward them. 

“On your knees, like these two,” Kain said, lazily waving his gun at them. He clearly didn't see the rest of them as a threat. 

They all did as they were told, dropping to their knees at Kain’s feet, solemn looks on their faces. Dex’s eyes were scrunched shut, his mouth turned down in a frown as he waited for the inevitable. 

“Why-” Jordan started, but before he could finish the question Kain sighed. 

“We’re not going to kill you, you know,” Kain said easily. “We just knew you guys wouldn’t stop if we asked nicely – you’re like a pack of fucking wild dogs.”

Seamus looked up at him quizzically, and Kain shrugged. 

“Well, at least that one is,” he said, nudging James to the side with the barrel of his rifle. At this, James finally focussed, glaring up at him from beneath raven black eyelashes. There was blood spattered on the left side of James’s face. 

“You killed one of my men,” Kain said, eyeing the blood that marred James's tan skin. 

“He got what he went looking for,” James said easily. 

Kain snorted at this, pulling his gun back and letting it hang limp at his side as he sized James up slowly. 

Moments passed of total silence as Kain took all of them in, walking around them and carefully taking in every detail. The rain pattered hard against the muddy ground, puddles formed around their knees, and the rain felt as though it was soaking through to their bones. 

Just as Jordan was about to say something Kain came back around stopped in front of them. 

“I said I wasn’t going to kill you guys,” Kain said, “but I’m afraid that wasn’t entirely true.” 

Jordan could feel the tension in the air at this comment, and Kain seemed to feel it too. 

“But,” Kain said, holding out his hands before they had a chance to react, “if you join us, nothing’ll happen to you guys.”

Jordan looked up at the rest of the group, fully prepared to see their eyes all pointed in his direction as they normally had been in sticky situations, looking for guidance. Instead, all their eyes were centered on James, waiting for what he had to say about this. 

He tried to hide the worry on his face at seeing this, and though he managed to hold himself together quite well – Kain noticed. Kain noticed, and though he didn’t say anything, his smirk more than told Jordan that he knew what was happening here. 

“Ok,” James said. 

“Ok, what?” 

“We’ll join,” James shrugged. “I have some conditions, though.” 

Kain let out a full belly laugh at that, looking at James incredulously. James, however, didn’t change expressions. 

“You’re serious?” Kain asked, his shoulders still trembling as he looked down at James, whose face seemed to be set in stone. “We have you guys trapped, we could kill you whenever, and you want to lay down _conditions_ for us?”

“Yes,” James said. “You’ve been trailing us for a long time, so it would be a waste to kill us, right?” 

Kain snorted at James's abrasive attitude despite his precarious situation, but he still didn’t stop James. 

“Horse,” James said, “I want a horse.” 

Kain was quiet for a second, waiting for James to go on. When he didn’t, he cocked one of his brows, “that’s all? Not gonna ask me to protect your friends for you or anything?”

“That too,” James said, but the lack of emotion or sincerity in his voice made Jordan’s shoulders stiffen. 

“Fine,” Kain said, looking at Jordan rather than James. “Fair enough.” 

+++

**3 Years After the Outbreak**

It had been weird moving into Kain’s small camp – to say the least. Many of the men who were with him looked foul and dangerous, and Jordan could feel his skin crawling just having them look in his direction. 

They were all wearing tattered and dirty clothing, their hair was shaggy, and they were filthy from head to toe to top it all off. 

Despite whatever opinion he had of them initially, however, things seemed to progress at a rather decent pace. They were easily integrated into the group, and the men who seemed too dangerous for their own good were actually kind, albeit troubled, people. The initial reaction they had to them had been normal, and he was certain they must have looked the same to them. 

Jordan had learned this quickly after passing a still pond of water several months after they first joined the group – seeing his own haggard face on the crystalline surface had been a true wake up call. 

His facial hair had grown long and untamed, his hair fell just above his shoulders, and his face was covered in dirt and whatever else he had come into contact with. He had wanted to look away but he hadn’t been able to – he couldn’t believe that it was his own face looking back at him. 

He was at the pond again, looking down at his reflection as he always did when Kain walked up beside him. 

It had been a normal day when Kain's words had changed everything for him. 

“We need to talk,” he said, his voice barely audible above the sound of the wind rustling the leaves above them, “about James.”

\----

“His friend that he keeps looking for,” Kain said. “What was his name again?” 

“Aleks.” 

“No, I know that, James has said it enough,” Kain said, waving an impatient hand at Jordan. “I mean - what was his last name?” 

“Oh,” Jordan said, but before he let it out he cocked his head to the side. “What does that matter?” 

Kain sighed, “just tell me the fucking name, Jordan.” 

“Marchant – but I don’t see why-”

Jordan didn’t finish, however, as he watched Kain’s expression change as though someone had punched him in the gut. He scrubbed his hands over his face and let out an unsteady breath of air. 

“Holy shit,” Kain said breathlessly, huffing a humourless laugh. 

“What?”

“Luke has him.” 

Jordan felt his blood run cold at this, everything in his body screaming for him to do something. He could only stand there gaping, however.

He tried to talk, but he could only gape like a fish as he tried to form words to express what he was hearing. 

“He’s,” Jordan was almost too scared to ask the question, afraid of the answer he was going to get. He swallowed hard around the lump in his throat that refused to go down, “he’s alive?” 

“Yes,” Kain said, “more or less.” 

Jordan felt the smile practically melt off of his face, "what do you mean?"

“He’s immune, but,” Kain sighed, “there’s more to it than that. It’s complicated.” 

Jordan dropped into the seat behind him at this, unable to keep his legs from shaking. He was torn between excitement and fear, unable to process them both at the same time. He had no idea what to do with this information. 

“He can’t leave the hospital,” Kain said, “but he is alive.” 

“I need to tell James before-”

“No,” Kain said. 

“What do you mean? James has been-”

“We need Aleks there, do you understand? He can’t leave that hospital.” 

“But he’s immune, and he’s alive,” Jordan said, finally standing as anger took over the previous emotions. 

“Jordan,” Kain said sternly, “James can’t know about this. Think about this for a second before you do something stupid.” 

“I am thinking, and I’m thinking that this is going to save James – and by proxy – the rest of my friends.” 

“Aleks can’t leave the hospital,” Kain said. “You’re not understanding me, there’s something different about his immunity. All I know is that he can’t leave the hospital or he’ll die.” 

“Then let James see him, at least,” Jordan said. “He’s getting sick with this, and knowing that Aleks is at least alive will fix-”

“Do you think James would be ok with just that?” Kain asked. 

Jordan bit his bottom lip, only briefly, but this small hesitation alone must have been what gave him away. 

“He won’t be, and you know it,” Kain said. “He’ll rally up a fucking group, and then they’ll try to fight Luke. He won't do this right away, but soon enough he’ll start demanding more and more until there’s nothing left to give him.” 

“You’re our leader, though, Kain.” 

“That doesn’t matter,” Kain said with a sigh, “some of them will follow James no matter what, and you know it more than anyone. Whether it be out of their respect for him as a leader, or their own moral compass telling them to help him. People will follow him.” 

“Kain, I can’t keep this from James,” he said, his icy blue eyes locked onto Kain’s dark browns. 

“You have to.” 

“James is my best friend,” Jordan shouted at him. “I care about Aleks, too, and I can’t sit here and keep quiet while god knows what is happening to him in that hospital!” 

Jordan tried to walk off, but he was stopped by Kain’s hand, "Jordan." 

“Kill me then,” Jordan said. “I can’t live with this, and if you’re going to kill me to keep my mouth shut, then do it now. I can’t do this to my friends.” 

There was heavy silence between them, Jordan could hear the wood of the old cabin they had chosen to speak in creaking under the pressure of the wind. Kain didn’t respond to him, and for a moment Jordan thought he was actually going to kill him right there. 

“They think they can manufacture a cure,” Kain said finally. He obviously didn’t want to tell Jordan this – and he most likely wasn’t meant to tell him – as this was something serious. 

Serious enough to stop Jordan in his tracks.

At this, Jordan felt his whole body stiffen. He stood in silence for a few moments, collecting himself before he turned back to Kain. 

He didn’t say anything – just waited for Kain to elaborate. 

“Originally they believed it was only patient zero that could harbour a cure, but Aleks’s immunity is different from others. It’s a mutation of the virus more than it is an actual immunity.” 

Kain let go of Jordan’s shoulder, not breaking eye contact with him to let him know that he was telling him the truth. 

“So what is two lives against the rest of the world, Jordan?” 

“Kain, it’s selfish but-”

“I know,” Kain said, “I know you would save them if you could, but you can’t.” 

“James is a danger to himself,” Jordan said. “He won’t ever let Aleks go.” 

“You can convince him,” Kain said. “It will take a long time, and maybe it’ll never go away completely, but you can. He trusts you more than anyone else.” 

Jordan swallowed, “that’s the problem.” 

Jordan was quiet for a long time, taking a seat in the chair in front of Kain. His legs were heavy this time, but instead of with happiness they were heavy with guilt. 

“Is Aleks safe there,” Jordan finally asked, “they aren’t hurting him?”

“They’re doing the best they can,” Kain said. “Unfortunately, with something like this, some exceptions need to be made.” 

“God,” Jordan said, watching at tears dropped onto his dirty hands and slipped into the creases between his fingers. He couldn’t feel them tracking down his cheeks – he felt numb to everything. 

“This is serious, Jordan,” Kain said. “I know this is terrible, but this is important. I told you this because I know that you’ll do the right thing. You have to keep James away from Luke.” 

“Can’t they find someone else? There are others who are immune to the Larkspur.” Jordan said, completely ignoring Kain’s words.

“Jordan,” Kain sighed, “this is a rare mutation of the infection. It will be near impossible to find someone else like this.” 

“When this is over, if they find some sort of cure, can he come back?” 

“I’m sorry,” Kain said. 

“What do you mean, ‘you’re sorry’?” 

“Like I said before, his immunity isn’t really an immunity, it’s just a mutation of the virus that makes the infection move very slowly. This mutation, unfortunately, would also make the cure null for him.” 

“So?” 

“Even if he were to get out of there, the infection will eventually kill him. The doctors there have been inducing a coma every time he fully wakes up. If he doesn’t have any access to the heavy antibiotics and sedatives they have, he will die. Slowly, but he will die.” 

 

+++

**Present Day**

James was shocked, to say the very least, when he got back to the house and didn’t see droves of guards standing around it. He still carefully walked around the property, however, looking into windows as best he could to make sure they weren’t waiting to ambush him from the inside. 

Instead, however, he saw no one but Aleks sitting on the couch, quietly reading something that was resting in his lap. 

He was lucky for this, it meant that they didn’t know James was aware of what was happening yet – he had time to leave, but not much. They would get only a small head start on them, but it was better than nothing. 

He needed to do something before the doctor gave him away. 

James walked into the house quickly from the horse corral, making his way to the couch. 

“Aleks, we need-”

James stopped himself when he saw Jordan standing in front of Aleks. 

James prepared himself for the worst – prepared himself to do the worst – as he slowly reached for the small pistol he always kept in the back of his pants. However, before he got the chance to draw, Jordan smiled at him with the same ease he always did. 

“James,” Jordan said. “I was just talking to Aleks about the two of you coming to see Kain this afternoon – he had something he wanted to talk to you two about. Nothing serious.” 

James let his hand slip away from his gun, but his nerves were wired. They only had so much time to get out of here, and Jordan was preventing that, though unintentionally. 

What upset him more than anything, however, was how easily Jordan was standing here and lying to the two of them. Their closest friend was standing here, easily getting ready to send them off to be tortured - he was lying through his teeth like an expert. 

James grit his teeth, and did his best to even out his expression despite the equal parts of rage and hurt bubbling up in his gut. He could tell, however, that Jordan sensed there was something off, he couldn't relax yet. 

“Where were you just now?” Jordan asked.

James thinned his lips, he was grateful that Aleks hadn’t said anything about where he had went, “I went to get more gas for the furnace.” 

Aleks opened his mouth as if to say something at this, but promptly closed his mouth. James didn’t even have to look at him for Aleks to realize that James was lying to Jordan for a reason. 

Jordan looked at James’s hands that hung beside him, “where is it?” 

“I already filled it, it’s fine.” 

Jordan looked between the two of them slowly, his brows furrowed. 

James was getting anxious – Jordan could tell that something was going on and it wouldn’t take long for their cover to be blown. 

James raised his eyebrows in mock confusion as best as he could; James was many things, but a good liar he was not. 

“Look, I’ll go to your stupid meeting, I just wanted to take Aleks out riding today. He’s been cooped up in the house for a long time.” 

James walked past him as casually as possibly, but Jordan caught his shoulder as he was reaching out to help Aleks up from where he was seated on the couch. He could see the heavy tension in Aleks’s shoulder, and he was glad for that as it meant he would be ready to run if need be. 

“You guys can do that after, this meeting is only going to take a minute.” 

James could tell now that Jordan knew something was going on - no lies were going to get him out of this now. Though James wasn’t a good liar, he was however, good at acting on impulse. Though this wasn’t always the best thing, this time it proved incredibly useful. 

James hauled of and jammed his elbow into the underside of Jordan’s chin, causing him to go reeling into couch. 

James had caught him by surprise and stunned him, and that was more than enough for them to get away. Every bone in his body was telling him to climb on top of Jordan and strangle him until he turned purple, but he knew that was too much. He couldn’t really kill Jordan, though he truly wanted to in this moment. 

He was sure there had to be a good reason for what he did – he prayed there was a good reason for all of this, but he wasn't willing to stand by and wait to see if it was or not. 

So instead he pinned Jordan to the couch, and Jordan didn't even make a move to get out from underneath him.

“Rope,” James said, “I left some in Ein’s saddlebag.” 

Aleks seemed to be reeling, but he came back to himself enough to nod his head and run to get the rope for James.

When he came back with the old and frayed rope, James’s tied it tight around Jordan’s arms and legs without being met by any resistance on Jordan's part. 

It was like he wanted them to catch him and stop him. 

James stood up after tying him up tight, looming over Jordan with a pained expression on his face. 

Jordan wouldn’t even meet his eyes, only turning his head to look at the blank wall ahead of him.

There were many questions that James wanted to ask Jordan. He wanted answers – he wanted to know why he did it, how long he knew, and what was so important about it that it made him betray his closest friends. Unfortunately for he and Aleks, they didn't have time for that.

“Blankets and food,” James said, motioning for Aleks to get a move on. “I’ll sadly Ein up.” 

Aleks nodded his head without question, rushing up the stairs and raiding the pantry for whatever they could carry with them. 

He appreciated that Aleks trusted him so much that he wouldn’t stop to question him, and he was also impressed that Aleks had taken his advice about not trusting anyone. He was able to get the jump on Jordan before he could do anything because of this.

\----

James was waiting beside Ein when Aleks came out only moments after he had finished saddling her. He had a large bundle of blankets in his arms, along with duffle bag full of dried food slung over his shoulder.

It didn’t taken them long to fill her saddle bags and get on their way. 

“We’re heading north,” James said, his hair whipping behind him as Ein rushed through the trees. 

They were running in the opposite direction of the camp, and judging by how quiet things were getting he had no doubt that Kain and Luke would be hot on their trail by nightfall. They needed to run all through the night and day to be safe, and then they could take a break after veering a little from the straight path. 

Though going straight would be quicker, Kain and Luke would no doubt opt to take the quickest route. 

He could only hope that Kain didn’t expect James to head North, but he had an idea that he did. North was the only way they could go to escape their reach.

He was so caught up trying to figure out what to do that he jumped when he felt Aleks’s arms tighten around his midsection, his face pressed into the crook of his neck. 

“What happened?”

“Kain and Luke are working together,” James said, though he knew Aleks wouldn’t be satisfied with just that. 

“Why did you do that to Jordan, then?” 

James felt a pang in his chest at the hurt he could hear in Aleks's voice. It was obvious that Aleks already had an idea of what Jordan had done. 

“Let’s talk about this later,” James said. “We have a lot to talk about.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are totally unbeta'd, so I seriously apologize for all the glaring mistakes. ;-;


	16. Stay the Siege of Loving Terms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Aleks nodded his head, pressing his forehead into the crook of James’s warm neck beneath the blankets._

Minutes seemed to pass them by like hours as they rushed through the trees, both of them waiting impatiently for the telltale sound of hooves beating the ground in the distance behind them. Though they both knew that this wouldn’t come for some time if luck was on their side, they still listened, hanging onto the brief and uncomfortable silence that they were being allowed. 

If anything, it was the dead silence that worried them more than anything else. 

“We’ll turn off soon,” James said as he ducked beneath a low hanging branch. “We’ll run west for a day and then start heading north again from that point. Hopefully it’ll keep them off of our trail for some time, and if we’re extra lucky and play our cards right, they might never even catch wind of us.” 

He could feel Aleks nod against his shoulder without a word – he had grown quiet since they had started running, and James couldn’t fault him for that. He was certain that there were many things running through his mind after what had happened, perhaps even more than what was going through his own head.

\-----

After running for some hours west – the wind whipping at them and cutting through their clothes like cold knives – he felt Aleks slouch heavily against his back. 

James brought the horse to a slow trot at this, looking back over his shoulder at Aleks who could no longer hold his head up under the exhaustion. His eyes were shut, but the furrow of his brow told James that this was far from a relaxed sleep. Sleep was sleep, however, and James didn’t want to disturb him too much.

“Aleks?” James whispered quietly, reaching over his shoulder to see if Aleks was deeply asleep. When he didn’t wake, he brought the horse to a full stop to get a better look at him and let him rest for a short while on solid ground. 

His own back and legs were also aching from riding the horse for so long, so it would be a welcome comfort for him as well. 

They were in a relatively well covered and dense area in the woods, most of the trees having not succumbed to the larkspurs in the area. Though the leaves were clearly on their way to dying, they still clung to the branches for dear life. 

James jumped from the horse with a groan, his legs stiff and his back in even worse shape after almost two days of straight riding. He had never had a good back, particularly at the beginning of the outbreak, but he had learned to cope with it some over the years. 

The intense muscle training had helped him a great deal, but when it was cold and damp outside, he could feel the ache deep in his bones no matter how hard he tried to ignore it and fight it away with pain medication. 

He grit his teeth through the pain, grabbing Aleks around the waist and setting him down on the ground gently so as not to wake him from his restless sleep. It was wet, mucky and bugs crawled all through the flora in abundance, but it was better than nothing, he thought. 

He noticed that Aleks had put on some weight after returning from the hospital, and James was happy to see that he weighed almost as much as he had at the beginning of the outbreak, if a little less. He would like to keep it that way, but with the way things were moving for them it wouldn’t take Aleks very long to return to the unhealthy weight he had been after James had taken him from the hospital. 

What was worrying James more than anything, however, was what he might find under the gauze covering Aleks’s infected eye. It had been quite bad when they left, and James hadn’t checked to see the state of it in two long days. 

James carefully peeled the gauze away from Aleks’s tender flesh, trying to ignore the fact that the skin around the gauze was now turning bright red with infection, telling him that it was now spreading outward. 

When James lifted the gauze away from his eye he saw the eye had become swollen beneath the lids, and the redness had gotten worse; his whites almost invisible under the inflamed red veins running through his dewy brown eyes. 

James swallowed hard, but ignored how much this worried him by focussing on digging through one of Ein’s saddlebags for the antibiotics he had stolen and the water. He wanted to do this while Aleks was asleep – the last thing he wanted was for him to have more to worry about after everything that had happened. 

He threw the used gauze into one of the saddlebags, careful not to leave anything behind that Kain and Luke’s soldiers could find and use to track them down.

He uncapped the water and tilted Aleks’s head back, pinching his eye open and pouring water slowly into the infected eye. He watched as red tinted water pour out of the infection, running down Aleks’s face in small rivulets. 

He watched, tired, until the red water turned clear.

James wiped the remaining water off of Aleks’ face, brushing his hands over his warm cheeks before pressing the back of his hand to Aleks’s forehead. He was warm, but he wasn’t burning up – it was the only good sign so far. 

Satisfied with his work, he replaced the gauze covering his eye and pressed a few pills onto the back of Aleks’s tongue, washing them down carefully with water. 

Aleks gurgled as the water slipped down his throat, but he didn’t wake up despite this, far too exhausted after everything that had happened. 

James sighed and picked Aleks back up, steadying him on top of Ein before jumping on himself. He wrapped Aleks’s limp arms around his waist and held them together to prevent him from falling off while they rode. 

He would sleep only when he absolutely couldn’t keep his head up, and even then he would only allow himself a short few hours. They needed to do everything they could to escape Kain and Luke, and if that meant sacrificing sleep, it was no problem to James. 

\-----

When Aleks finally woke up he was no longer looking ahead at a seemingly unending jade path, but instead he was faced with the thick fabric of James’s black cloak and the heavy wool blanket that covered the two of them. 

When he looked up, blank slate walls surrounded them from every side as well from above. It didn’t look very forgiving, but Aleks was growing tired of seeing endless rows of trees. 

He was pressed tight to James’s chest, and he couldn’t be more thankful for the stifling warmth his body provided. The air outside the blanket was cold and nipped at every exposed part of his body, pulling a shiver from him despite the warmth he felt between them under the blankets. 

This felt very familiar to Aleks, like he had been here before. 

He then remembered the first day that James had saved him from the hospital. He had woken up to the very same thing in almost the same exact area – he remembered the blank grey walls, the sound of Ein’s nickering, and most of all the sound of James breathing softly at his side, completely unguarded. 

Aleks didn’t know how long James had been sleeping for so he didn’t bother to wake him, instead he reluctantly pulled himself out from under the blankets and walked over to Ein’s side. She was lying down quietly, nibbling at some grass that James must have placed in front of her before he went to sleep. 

Aleks realized that he couldn’t have been out for very long then, considering Ein hadn’t eaten much of what he had left out for her. 

He pet her coarse hair softly before leaning down to look in the saddle bags on her right side, yielding no results.

His limbs felt weak and his head was beginning to pound uncomfortably hard when he moved to her other side. He passed it off as lack of sleep and the ride as he opened one of her saddlebags, fishing around inside for the antibiotics.

When Aleks found the bottle he popped three of the pills and washed it all down with water. 

The coolness of the water felt good going down his throat despite how the cold weather nipped at his heels and threatened to encompass him. 

He ignored it, however, as he poured some water into his hand and let Ein drink, doing this several times before the chill had him trembling all over. 

His skin was freezing but inside he felt like his blood was boiling. It was a strange feeling. 

“Aleks,” he heard a sleepy voice call from behind him, James’s gentle voice echoing in the large slate space. 

It was only then that Aleks realized that they had been sleeping in an old underground parking lot when he read the word 3P behind James and saw the faded yellow lines that marred the pavement. 

“Sorry,” Aleks responded, walking back over to his side and pulling the covers over the two of them, snuggling close to James’s still sleep warm body. 

“How are you feeling?” James asked, trying to prop himself up on his elbow but ultimately failing as he was still half-asleep. 

“Better,” Aleks said with a chuckle, drawing one of his knees up to tangle with James’s legs, sapping some of his heat in the process. 

“Cold,” James said sleepily at the brush of Aleks’s leg against his own. 

“Yeah,” Aleks said. He took a breath, bracing himself to ask James the question he had been keeping in for some time, but stopped himself before he let it loose. He was hesitating because even though he knew the answer he was going to get, deep down he didn’t really want to believe it to be true.

James, however, seemed to spot the hesitation in his voice even in the middle of a sleep haze as he opened his eyes again, his brows furrowed. 

“What is it?” James asked, finally managing to prop himself up on his elbow. 

“Jordan,” Aleks started, and the name alone made James frown – he seemed to be torn between disgust and hurt. 

James knew this was an important conversation but he didn’t move to sit. Instead James pressed closer, almost until they were nose to nose. 

“When I went to get the antibiotics, I heard Kain and Jordan inside talking to the doctor. I don’t know what compelled me to wait, but I hid around the corner and listened to what they were talking about.” James sighed, “I couldn’t make out much of what they were saying, but when they stepped outside I just had a terrible feeling that they were talking about us.” 

“Jordan was in on this?” Aleks asked. 

James nodded his head, “I waited for them to leave and went to talk to the doctor, and I tried to pretend I knew nothing but he caught on eventually. I threatened him and he told me everything, he told me that Kain and Luke were working together, and that Jordan was in on it too.” 

“For how long?” He asked despite not really wanting to know. The idea of Jordan knowing for so long made his chest ache with both anger and hurt. 

“I honestly don’t know,” James said. “I would like to think it wasn’t for long and that he’s doing this for a good reason, but-”

“You think he’s known for a long time,” Aleks said, “I can see it.” 

James sighed. 

“Why do you think that?” 

“Before we entered Kain’s camp,” James said before taking a deep breath, “he would help me look for you without fail, he seemed just as desperate to finally have answers as I was. Then, suddenly, almost a year after joining Kain’s camp, he just stopped.” 

Aleks cocked his head. 

“He would still come with me, but it was like he didn’t care. He would spend all of our off time telling me that it was time for me to stop looking for you because you were dead.” 

“Well, there was a good chance I was dead, James.” 

“I know that,” James said. “I know that, but it was the sudden shift that I’m talking about. He was so desperate to stop me all of a sudden. He had never tried to discourage me from looking before.” 

“I hope-”

“I hope not too,” James said quickly. “I don’t want to think my friend has been lying to me all this time, but I can’t sit here and play pretend, either.” 

“Why did they do this, though?” Aleks asked. “If they were going to do this, why didn’t they trap us from the start? This seems unreasonably cruel, even for Luke.” 

“I don’t know,” James said, hesitating before continuing. “The doctor did tell me something that’s been worrying me, though.” 

Aleks tensed at this. 

“He said that even though you’re immune, you can still pass the infection by something as little as saliva. Aleks, I-”

Aleks covered James mouth with a hand at this, a worried look on his face. James didn’t fight it, however, and just waited for Aleks to collect his thoughts. He knew Aleks wasn’t here to hurt him, so he would wait to hear his explanation. He knew there was a good reason for Aleks keeping this large detail from him. 

Aleks was glad that James trusted him so much and respected him enough to stop talking even though he had so many questions for him. 

“I was going to tell you eventually,” Aleks said, “when you first got me back from the hospital, actually.” 

“Why didn’t you, then?” 

“I was going to, but I was worried that you would be afraid of me and get rid of me,” Aleks said honestly. “I’m dangerous, James, I knew that and I know you know that too.” 

“I would never have done that, Aleks. I swear I would-”

“I know that,” Aleks cut in, “but I was irrational at that point – even now I can barely keep my thoughts together.” 

Aleks pressed closer to James, his hands wrapping around James’s own hands beneath the blankets to share their warmth. James responded in kind by squeezing him back tighter, his firm grip reassuring Aleks that he would sit and listen – that he wouldn’t get angry with him. 

“I was lying to you when I said you passed out at the pond from the infection in your leg. We really did go into that building and you really were shot by an arrow by the bandits that chased us through the forest. You were dying, and I knew there was nothing that could be done for you anymore, so I took my chances and infected you.” Aleks felt tears stinging his eyes, “I know it was wrong, but I didn’t know what else to do.” 

“I know,” James said. 

“I just couldn’t stand the thought of losing you right after getting you back,” Aleks cried, his breath hitching on a trapped sob. 

“It’s ok,” James said, his brows knit together in concern. “Please, don’t cry.” 

James wiped away some of Aleks’s warm tears with the corner of their blanket before leaning in to press a kiss to each of his cheeks. 

“I’m here now, right?” 

Aleks nodded his head, pressing his forehead into the crook of James’s warm neck beneath the blankets. 

“I promise I won’t leave you,” James said, tucking his head under the blankets so he was nose to nose with Aleks. 

They shared their breaths for a long while, lying quietly in the warmth with their eyes closed. They weren’t sleeping, they were just taking each other in quietly; revelling in one another’s company. 

Crickets chirped outside and birds whistled happily as they welcomed the dark, eerily unaware of how the whole world was falling apart beneath them – dying quietly with every passing day. 

After quietly listening to these familiar and comforting sounds, Aleks cautiously pressed his lips against James soft, but chapped mouth. James responded in kind by giving way to Aleks almost immediately. 

What started as a soft kiss, however, quickly turned into something desperate, frantic, and heated, causing them both to flush from head to toe.

In the silence of the empty parkade he could hear nothing but the sound of their teeth clicking together, the sound of their frantic breathing and the lewd sound of their lips separating between groans and whispered words of affection.

All of this – coupled with the slide of James’s hot tongue against his – had lust pooling low in his gut. 

He was aching to be filled, and the hand that James snaked over the tent in his pants was more than welcome. He pressed up into James’s palm at this, separating their mouths to let out a breathless groan. 

He couldn’t stop himself from writing when James snuck a hand into the front of his pants, flipping them over so his weight was pressing into Aleks’s – chest to chest. 

Aleks could feel James’s hardness pressing into his hip, and he responded to it by pushing his hips up to brush against it, drawing quiet curses and pleasured sounds from James’s lips each time he rocked against him.

They stayed like this for some time, grinding against one another fully clothed until Aleks couldn’t handle the aching burn in his gut any longer. 

“Fuck me,” he whispered breathlessly into James’s ear, bucking into his firm grip. The ache inside him was too much to bear, and only James could quell it for him.

When James didn’t answer right away, Aleks wrapped his wiry legs around James’s waist and ground their hips together hard. 

James hissed at the contact and let his head drop onto Aleks’s shoulder at this, grinding back against him in kind. 

He began mouthing at Aleks’s pulse point, sucking bruises and leaving bright red bite marks on his pale flesh. 

Between their desperate, hot kisses, Aleks reached behind him, digging around for the small bottle of lube he knew James kept in the pocket of the duffel bag. It had been expired for some time, but it was better than nothing. 

When he couldn’t find it in his feverish state, James brushed his hand aside and fished it out himself. 

He left the tube beside them as he helped Aleks out of his pants, pulling them down quickly and tossing them off to the side carelessly. 

He didn’t waste time bringing his hand back to Aleks’s neglected length, pumping him slowly before disappearing beneath the covers. 

Aleks almost let out a strangled cry when James expertly took his entire length into his mouth, sinking to the base then deftly running his tongue along his length as he pulled back. 

Aleks hadn’t even noticed James’s hand leaving the heat of the blanket to grab the tube, so when he felt the cold slide of one of James’s fingers he gasped and almost pulled away from the contact. 

He sighed, however, at the feel of another one of James’s fingers sliding in and out of him in rhythm with the mouth on his cock. He ground down against them, trying to bury them as deep as he could inside him. He cried out when a third finger was added, expertly curling inside him and making him whimper and tremble.

He was practically melting into James’s affections. 

It wasn’t enough, however, and Aleks couldn’t help himself from impatiently writhing against James’s fingers.

James took this as his queue and pulled away from Aleks’s length with an obscenely wet sound, crawling back up so he was inches away from Aleks’s flushed face.

James pressed a soft kiss to his lips while running a hand through his sweat damp hair, and at the same time he could feel James length filling him – filling the ache in his belly inch by slow inch. 

Aleks threw his head back, letting out a long groan as James worked his way inside agonizingly slow, peppering butterfly kisses on Aleks’ face and neck all the while. When he was finally fully sheathed inside him, he captured Aleks’s lips with his own, swallowing his cries as he began to rock his hips forward in a slow, measured pace. 

Aleks shifted his legs to let James in deeper, and on one particularly deep thrust it felt like fire had exploded in Aleks’s belly. 

“There,” Aleks choked out, feeling tears burning the corners of his eyes. “God, right there.” 

James responded to this by bending Aleks’s knees and pressing them to his chest, holding them there with his strong hands as he angled his hips, pressing deeper into Aleks’s tight, overheated body.

Aleks’s head was spinning as pleasure took over him, leeching all of his bad thoughts away – just briefly – as James spread him open and filled him deep. He could only cry out as each thrust threatened to push him over the edge. 

James’s movements became merciless at this, growing more and more desperate in response to each of Aleks’s cries for _more_. His pace was unrelenting as he pounded into Aleks’s heat over and over again, draining both of their energy but filling them both with something else entirely, something warmer, something that would give them a much needed break from the horrible reality they faced. 

Aleks could feel the telltale signs of his release coiling in his gut, tightening inside him and making his breaths come in short, ragged bursts. 

“James, I’m-” Aleks couldn’t get the sentence out through his ragged breaths, but he knew that James more than understood what this meant as he wrapped one heavy hand around Aleks length, bringing him to release with just one tight pump of his hand. 

Most of his energy sapped, all he could do was whimper as his release ripped through him and coated both of their stomachs. 

In his heated daze, he could feel James pulling out, but before he could he stopped him by wrapping his legs around his back, holding him in place. 

“Fuck, Aleks, I’m co-”

“I know,” Aleks said, bringing their lips together in a lazy kiss as he ground himself against James. “Inside.” 

At this James let out a strangled groan, and Aleks could feel the warm, wet heat of his release filling him up.

James dropped on top of him like a stone, and they stayed like that for a long while, listening to each other’s broken breaths and feeling the sweat on their skin cool in the chilly air.

When Aleks felt James pull out of him and roll onto his side, he did so as well, partly to be close to James but also to avoid making a mess of the blankets that rested beneath them. He pressed his head to James’s chest, comforted by the sound of his heartbeat.

“We should leave soon,” James said after his breathing had returned to normal, his fingers playing lazily with the damp ends of Aleks’s hair. 

“Let’s just stay for a few minutes more,” Aleks said sleepily.

\-----

Jordan had been stuck inside he and James’s house for some time, and night was already falling when Kain came bursting through the doors with a large group of soldiers surrounding the house. 

Luke wandered in, but lingered in the doorway and watched he and Kain from a distance. 

He could have escaped the ropes that bound him long ago, but instead he had opted to stare up at the ceiling, remembering the look on James’s face – the look of a man who had been betrayed by the one person he trusted more than anything. 

It was only then – when he saw the real damage that all of his lies had done to his friend – that he started to doubt Kain and Luke’s cause. 

It was the fact that he was only starting to doubt it now, however, that made him feel so guilty. 

He still couldn’t shake the look on his face and the guilt that coiled in his gut when Kain dropped down beside him, shaking his shoulders and demanding what had happened from him. It was only when he felt Kain’s fist collide with the side of his face, knocking him to the cold floor, that he was broken from him painful memories. 

“What the fuck happened?” Kain demanded. 

“He knew,” Jordan said quietly. “I don’t know how, but he knew.” 

Luke scoffed from where he stood at the door’s entrance, fidgeting despite how stern and set his face was. 

“Which way did he head?” Luke asked, clearly impatient. 

He had reason to be impatient – they had lost valuable time because of his blunder. 

“I don’t know,” Jordan said, glaring up at Luke from beneath sandy lashes. “Do you really think James would tell me after tying me up?” 

“Fuck me,” Kain cursed, running a hand through his hair. 

“My bet is on north,” Luke said. “I know how he thinks – and he’s thinking that if he gets across the border, he’s safe.” 

Kain let his head fall against the heavy wooden beam that stood behind him, “there’s no guarantee that they’ll head that way.” 

“No,” Luke said. “It is our best bet, though.” 

He walked over to Jordan’s side, jerking him forward by the shoulder to look at the knot that James had made with the rope. Luke spat next to him. 

“It’s been 6 hours and you’re telling me you couldn’t work that knot out?” 

“I was in shock-”

“Don’t give me that shit,” Luke barked at him. “This was your one fucking job and you let James and Aleks slip through your god damn fingers. 5 years of preparation and this is what you gift us with?” 

“I’m so-”

“Don’t start with that shit,” Luke scoffed, flicking some of his shaggy blonde hair out of his eyes. 

“They are my friends,” Jordan said. “If you knew how hard it was to cope wi-”

“How hard do you think it was to cope with that stupid fucker killing my wife and my child?” Luke demanded, pressing a finger hard into Jordan’s chest. “You let that cunt get too close because you couldn’t stand to stop him, and it resulted in two innocent people dying. That blood is on your hands, Jordan.”

Jordan didn’t respond – couldn’t respond – and only looked down at the cracked wood beneath his bent knees. 

“This is the second time you’ve failed us,” Luke said. “You’re useless, you r-”

“Luke,” Kain said, holding a hand up in front of his face. “Enough, what’s done is done.” 

Luke seemed offended at Kain holding his hand out in front of him, but he pulled back despite this. 

“We need to leave, right now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote a dirty thing and now I feel like a filthy human being. Help.


	17. Too Early Seen Unknown, and Known too Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
>  _My name is Aleksandr Marchant._
> 
>  
> 
> _I was adopted._
> 
>  
> 
> _My birthday is September 1st, 1992._
> 
>  
> 
> _I am 29 years old._
> 
>  
> 
> _My home is Colorado._   
> 

The further north they ran, the colder the air became. So cold, in fact, that James could feel his saliva starting to cloy at the back of his throat like a thick paste. He wanted desperately to stop and take a break, but he knew that wasn’t an option anymore – he was also smart enough that he knew it wouldn’t help them warm up. 

If Kain and Luke had followed them out shortly after they left, there was a good chance that they would be less than a day away from them. That coupled with the fact that they were desperate to get both James and Aleks back mean that they would be taking very few breaks on their way.

As a mixture of jade and red whipped past in James’s peripheral, he turned back around to look at Aleks who had once again grown quite quiet. 

“Are you alright?” James asked. He knew it would be difficult for Aleks to hear over the beating of the hooves and the rustling of the trees, but he raised his voice so Aleks could hear him. 

For a moment James thought he hadn’t heard him, but then he felt Aleks taking in a quiet breath of air before speaking. “My eye,” Aleks said. “It hurts.” 

Though James hadn’t planned on making anymore stops until they got to a place with significant cover, the pain in Aleks’s voice made him reconsider. 

He pulled Ein to a quick stop and didn’t waste time jumping down. He held down a hiss as his stiff legs hit solid ground, walking to Aleks’s side to help him down off of the horse. 

It had been some time since they had last checked the infection, and now was a better time than any to make sure it was properly cleaned. He didn’t want it festering because he was being careless – if Aleks got sick because of his mistakes he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. 

Aleks jumped down from the horse next to him. 

As he tested the strength of his legs, James didn’t waste time lifting the gauze over Aleks’s eye. 

He would have liked to have told himself it was getting better, but it was becoming very clear to James now that it was doing the opposite despite all the frequent cleanings and the antibiotics. The only thing the antibiotics had been doing was slowing the progress of the infection, and they were quickly running out of the medicine with no hope of finding more. 

Antibiotics were hard to come by these days. 

“What?” Aleks asked, his voice pitched slightly higher from worry. 

James opened his mouth and was ready to let another lie slip out, but he caught himself as he knew lying to Aleks would serve no purpose in the end. He needed to be honest with Aleks – he was the only person Aleks could trust anymore. 

“It’s getting worse,” James said. He could feel Aleks tense at this, unconsciously taking a step away from him, as if that would fix the infection is his eye. He didn’t say anything in response to James at first, instead he just looked up at him quietly, as if he thought James had an answer to all of his problems. 

James wished he did. 

“What’s happening to me?” Aleks asked quietly. 

James was quiet for a moment after this, peeling the rest of the gauze away from Aleks’s eye and rummaging around for the water and antibiotics. He wasn’t ignoring his fears, he was remaining quiet because he had nothing to say. He didn’t want to lie to Aleks, but he also didn’t know what was wrong with him or what they could do to fix it. 

“I don’t know, Aleks. It might just be a regular eye infection, those do ha-”

“Bullshit,” Aleks spat. Clearly he hadn’t meant to sound so angry, because when he looked into James’s eyes his scowl dropped along with the pinched expression on his face. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m just so tired, and on top of everything that happened there’s something wrong with me.” 

“What are you sorry for? “James asked. “I don’t blame you, this is an awful situation. We’ve been running for a long time, but we’ll be stopping soon.” 

“How long has it been?” Aleks asked. 

James figured Aleks should have known based on how erratic their sleep schedules were, but it made sense considering how much he slept. James had mostly been the one leading the horse while Aleks slept, not the other way around. 

“It’s been a little over three weeks,” James said. 

“I don’t remember the sun setting so many times,” Aleks said between a shiver. The air was becoming colder as the sun set on the horizon – soon snow would be falling. They would need to hunt for fur and food soon, and the trek north would become far more treacherous than it had been. 

“You’ve been sleeping a lot, and it’s also normal to start losing track of time when you’ve been riding for so long.” 

“No, it’s not,” Aleks said, his neat eyebrows pulled into a sad frown. “I’m sleeping so much because there’s something wrong with me, James.” 

“It’s normal to be sleepy with an infection.” 

“This isn’t normal though,” Aleks said, shaking his head. “James, there’s something wrong with me. What if it’s the lark-”

“Stop,” James said before Aleks could get that thought out. He could see in his eyes that Aleks was becoming distraught, and he wanted to put a stop to it before Aleks had a full meltdown. The last thing he wanted was for Aleks to have another thing to worry about. 

A soft but chilly breeze whipped through the trees, blowing some of Ein’s coarse hair into her face, causing her to let out a soft snort. 

“You’re immune, and you know that. If it really was something like that, then you wouldn’t have survived these past seven years. That’s not how the infection works – you know that more than anyone else.” 

Aleks put his head down at this and nodded, quietly letting James clean the infection and replace the gauze. He didn’t fuss when James handed him the antibiotics, taking them quickly. 

James watched as he tried to throw himself up onto the horse as he always had, but his limbs looked heavy like lead and his arms seemed weak and tired. He watched as Aleks tried a second time, failing and landing back on the solid ground with a curse. He pressed his head into the side of the horse, his eyes shut as he tried to regain his bearing. 

James felt bad for him – wanted nothing more than to help him – but he knew that Aleks wouldn’t respond well to the remaining shreds of his pride being taken away, and James didn’t want to take that from him. He turned around and pretended to be rummaging through some of the flora as Aleks tried a third time, pushing his foot into one of the stirrups and finally positioning himself carefully in Ein’s saddle. 

“Come on then,” Aleks said. “You can sleep, I’ll ride for a bit.”

\-----

Riding alone had been something Aleks actually quite enjoyed. He liked the sound of the horses’ hooves beating the hard-packed ground, the sound of the birds fluttering through the air as they whipped past trees, but most of all he enjoyed the fact that he had time to think quietly. 

He could feel James breathing in and out quietly from behind him, and as much as he loved James he could be a little too overbearing with him, constantly asking Aleks if he was feeling alright or if he needed anything.

Sometimes he just needed silence. 

So Aleks rode along, trying to control the rising panic in his gut, trying to pretend that everything would get better for him and James as he tried to sort out his racing thoughts. 

There was something wrong with him, very wrong with him. 

Aleks swallowed hard, bowing his head as he repeated these lines in his head like a litany, all through the darkness and into the middle of the next day. 

_My name is Aleksandr Marchant._

_I was adopted._

_My birthday is September 1st, 1992._

_I am 29 years old._

_My home is Colorado._

_I do not trust Kain and Luke._

_Orange and green are bad colours._

_My best friend is James Wilson._

_I love him._

\-----

“They won’t last long out here,” Luke said after a long stretch of silence. 

He, Jordan and Kain were ahead of the guards, not wanting there to be any complications when catching Aleks and James. The last thing they needed was for a guard to get trigger happy and gun one of them down. 

They were especially worried about James. 

“That’s not a good thing, Luke, we need those two alive,” Kain said as he glared over at the taller man. 

“It is a good thing – they’ll push themselves until they can’t go any further and then they’ll drop. It’ll give us a day or two to get to them before they die from the cold or starvation.” 

Jordan scoffed. 

Luke heard it even over the horses’ hooves, and levelled a questioning look at Jordan. 

“James isn’t an idiot,” Jordan said. 

“He is, actually,” Luke spat back at him with a laugh and raised eyebrows. 

“He’s been outside more than he’s been in the camp, I’m pretty sure he’s going to last a decent amount of time.” 

Luke frowned, “winter is coming, Jordan.” 

“He was out for the whole winter one time, he came back without a scratch on him.” 

“So? He doesn’t have the same luxuries as before. He also didn’t have anyone chasing him when he was out last time.” 

“He doesn’t have anything less than he had before. He has guns, he has some food, he knows how to hunt, and he has another person with him now so he’s not-”

“Would you two shut the fuck up?” 

Luke snorted at this but otherwise listened to Kain, but not before shooting an unimpressed glare at Jordan. Jordan couldn’t possibly care less, and just turned to look away from his antagonizing looks. 

“We’ve been heading north straight through without any breaks, there’s no way they’ve passed us by that far.” 

“I’m sure they weaved in some direction or another,” Kain said. “Like Jordan said, James isn’t stupid, they wouldn’t just rush straight north, and I’m sure they haven’t stopped for very long, if at all.” 

“I don’t think James has ever been up this way,” Kain said. “He never really told me much, but he usually gave me some idea of where he was headed, or where he had gone, at the very least.” 

“So?” 

“There are a lot of bandits up this way, and since winter is coming they will be less than forgiving.” Kain smiled, all teeth, “lucky for all of you I took the chance to strike a deal with these guys ahead of time.” 

Luke threw his head back and sighed before running a hand impatiently through his hair. 

“Well, James is-”

“Oh, eat me, Jordan,” Luke sighed. “No matter how great you think James is, there is only so much he can do against a huge group of people. He’s fucked if he runs into them, end of story, and it’s almost impossible to dodge these guys when you go north.”

Kain sighed, but he didn’t argue with that statement. 

“All we can do is keep going,” Luke said. 

\-----

_My name is Aleksandr Marchant._

_I was adopted._

_My birthday is September 1st, 1992._

_I am 29 years old._

_My home is Colorado._

_I do not trust Kain and Luke._

_Orange and green are bad colours._

_My best friend is James Wilson._

_I love-_

The words stopped dead in his head as he heard the sound of the trees rustling around them, indicating that they were no longer alone. 

He wanted to think that it was just the wind picking up before a storm, but he had grown to tell the difference between wind and feet.

They weren’t on horses, however, and he hoped that would be the difference between the two of them and captivity or death. 

For a moment, one dreadful moment, he believed it to be Kain and Luke coming up on them from behind, but after he saw a flicker of bright blue through the trees, he knew it wasn’t them. 

Not only were those neither Luke nor Kain’s colours, but he knew Luke and Kain would be much more careful about hiding themselves in the woods. They would also have horses, and no matter how quiet and skillful they were as hunters, horses’ hooves could be heard from a mile behind, at the very least. 

These were rogue bandits, just like the ones that he and James had met up with after leaving the hospital. He wondered, however, what the blue bandannas around their arms meant. They were acting like a group, but from Aleks had understood based on what James said, only three groups remained. 

“James,” Aleks said, jabbing James in the ribs with his elbow as he tapped his heels against Ein’s sides to get her running faster. He didn’t have time to be gentle – they were about to be attacked. 

When James didn’t stir, Aleks opted to not bother with trying to be quiet anymore. They were already sticking out like a beacon, sitting atop a horse that was as loud as any car. 

“James,” Aleks shouted, finally stirring James from his uncomfortable sleep. He shot up so fast that he almost fell out of the saddle, but Aleks put a hand on one of his thighs before he could tip over. 

James let out a string of curses as he righted himself on the saddle, and before Aleks even had a chance to tell him what was happening, his head shot around to focus on the rustling in the trees around them. 

“Shit, I was worried about this,” James said as he pulled the rifle he had slung over his shoulder out in front of him as a warning to the people trying to surround them. 

Aleks felt him shifting around so he could sit side-saddle, and watched as he pointed the gun directly into the woods. He knew from experience that James didn’t plan on shooting them from this distance, he was just showing them that he had a gun and it was loaded. 

The rustling didn’t stop, however, as their pursuers were clearly too desperate to be worried about two people with limited ammo and weapons. 

“Fuck,” James cursed under his breath – there were far more people hanging around in the woods than he could have imagined. No matter how fast and hard they ran, there were people watching them from behind the dying trees. 

“What do we do?” Aleks asked. 

“Keep going,” James said. “They want the horse too, I bet, so they won’t risk hurting the horse by shooting and accidentally missing.” 

“How many of these guys are there? There’s no way a few people could be keeping up with a horse.” 

“We’re riding right through their fucking camp,” James said as rummaged through one of Ein’s saddlebags for another gun. “Take this,” James says as he handed Aleks the pistol. “It’s not much, but it would be too hard to hold a rifle up there.” 

Aleks took the pistol without protest, pressing it into the waistband of his pants before grabbing hold of the reins. 

“I didn’t even think to warn you about it,” James cursed, his breath dancing around in front of him in the cold. 

“Warn me of what?” 

“They leave marks, they’re small, but they leave marks to show which areas are theirs.” James bit his lip, “did you see anything that stood out to you?” 

Aleks searched around inside his mind, but all he could find were those words he had been repeating to himself over and over again earlier in the day. 

He shook his head. 

“Three marks, red paint, bark missing-”

“That’s it,” Aleks said suddenly. “I remember passing by a few trees missing bark, but I had thought that a bear had gotten to them.” 

“Oh, fuck me,” James said, hanging his head. 

“I saw one of them wearing a blue bandanna.” 

“That’s them for sure,” James said. 

“Who?” 

“They’re one of the lesser groups, not anywhere near Luke, Kain and Stefani – but they’re still big. The only reason they aren’t one of the big groups is because they’re known for being unforgiving and brutal – they have no interest in politics. There’s a reason a lot of people don’t travel north, and it’s not just because it gets colder up there.” 

“Can we outrun them?” 

“I don’t know,” James said. “How long ago did you see the first tree with the bark missing?” 

“Christ, I don’t know,” Aleks said, agitated. 

His mind had been elsewhere, he had barely even noticed the sun setting and rising again, let alone a piece of bark missing from a dead tree. 

“I don’t know how far we’re into their camp,” James said. “I haven’t been up this way in ages, but my best is on the fact that we’re approaching the middle. They don’t even have their horses out yet.” James looked over his shoulders to see if he could spot anyone, “head west again.” 

Aleks pulled on the reins and guided Ein westward, pushing her to her limits as she nickered uncomfortably when Aleks pressed his heels into her sides. She had been running almost endlessly, and it was taking a huge physical toll on her body, if they kept going at the rate they were going, she would die. 

That didn’t matter, however, as he had only been riding west for some time when he saw horses heading toward them. 

Aleks grit his teeth and turned to head north, but through the trees he could see more horses headed in their direction. East and south also weren’t plausible options as there were more people coming from those directions. 

Aleks tried to look for a way out, he felt panic rising inside him but before he could do anything or make any rash decisions, James grabbed his hands. His knuckles had gone white from gripping the reins so tightly. 

“Running now will only make it worse,” James said. 

“We can’t just sit here and let them get us,” Aleks said. 

“We’re not going to do that, so just stop,” James said. “I have an idea.” 

They waited in silence as the group of bandits circled them from all around, the bright blue bandannas on their arms standing out among the blackened, dying trees. 

Aleks hadn’t noticed earlier, but it had started snowing and a thin sheen of porcelain white snow began to cover the forest floor. 

He blinked his eyes to shake loose some of the snowflakes stuck to his lashes, watching as what he presumed to be their leader came forward toward them. He didn’t say much when he stopped in front of them, just looked from James, whose gun was still drawn, and down at the saddlebags and Ein. 

“Do you think it’s a good idea to keep pointing that at me?” He finally asked after an uncomfortably long moment of silence. 

Aleks shifted at the threat, but James kept his gun pinned on the man ahead of him, not jarred in the least. He trusted James, but this felt a little reckless to him.

James’s unwillingness to move was a cause for another bout of silence between them. 

Aleks heard muffled voices shouting, “kill them” among the bandits, and his hands tightened on the reins, prepared to take off at a moment’s notice.

“Get your arses off the horse and hand over your weapons, if you do that we’ll let you walk out of here.” 

James didn’t respond again, and kept the barrel of his gun pointed at the man’s head. 

Aleks felt the urge to turn around and shake some sense into James, but he trusted him enough to know that he knew what he was doing here. 

The man began to walk forward at this, and James squeezed the rifle in his hands tight, indicating to the man to not take another step closer to them. 

He laughed at this, but he did stop in his tracks, careful to heed his warning. 

“I’ve seen you before,” the man said, cocking his head to get a better look at James. “You’re Kain’s boy, the one that killed Luke’s woman.” 

Aleks could feel James tense in anger at this quip, but as much as he wanted to turn and look at James, he knew it would be unwise to make any quick movements. 

That was, until, James pulled the trigger of the rifle when the man took another step.

He certainly didn’t make threats lightly. 

Aleks could only watch in shock as the man’s blood spattered against the thin sheen of snow and the dying trees behind them – the close proximity of the rifle blowing a large whole in the center of his face. 

He crumpled to the ground, one of his eyes still blinking before his body became completely motionless.

James kicked Ein’s sides before anyone had a chance to react, and they rushed off, trampling two men before they breached the crowd and entered the endless treeline once again. 

“I’m sorry,” James said, the angered voices of the people behind them echoing through the trees as he tried to speak. “It was the only thing I could do, they wouldn’t let us go if I didn’t. I knew they wanted our horse more than anything so they wouldn’t take the chance and shoot.” 

“I understand,” Aleks said. 

“We need to keep going now. We were near the center just then, but I’m certain we’ll be followed.” 

“How do we lose them?” 

“We can’t,” James said. “We just have to hope that they’re not desperate enough to follow us all the way out to the border. Ein won’t last that long.” 

\-----

James, however, had unfortunately been wrong on all counts. He hadn’t anticipated just how well prepared these bandits were anymore, and as a result they had caught him completely off guard. 

He hadn’t been this way in two years, so it was only natural that these people would change some – learn from their mistakes. 

The last time James had seen them he and Jordan had be chased all the way back to the border of camp, and the only reason they hadn’t been caught was because Jordan had thrown them off by fooling them into thinking he had left guns behind when they started running. 

Night was falling and he could still hear them hot on their trail, their few horses’ hooves beating the ground behind them steadily. 

They were outnumbered by them by 10, it certainly wasn’t a number that they could deal with, even if they were quite lucky. Added to that fact, their horses were also much faster than Ein ever was or could be. 

If they were caught, however, they would be outnumbered by far more. James wasn’t willing to let that happen so he pushed Ein to her limits by continuing on. 

“They’re getting closer,” Aleks said. 

“I know,” James grit out, looking back over his shoulders at the torches shining through the woods. 

By the way the trees around them were growing darker and thinner, he knew there had to be a larkspur nearby, and he was counting on that fact as they rushed through the woods. He and Aleks were both immune, and from what Aleks had told him the larkspur themselves weren’t interested in people who were immune or already infected. 

They could run straight through while the people behind them had to take the long way around. If it was a big enough larkspur – and James was counting on it as they were in the middle of a dead forest – they could even take shelter inside its thin branches. 

When they came close to it, however, the people behind them did something he hadn’t anticipated. 

James’s assumption – wrongful assumption – had been that these people were after them for their horse and goods. He quickly realized the mistake he made as an arrow plunged into Ein’s hind leg and caused her to collapse to the ground, throwing a light shroud of white snow into the air on impact. 

As he hadn’t had time to properly react to what was happening, Ein’s weight threw him into a tree, causing him to slam his head into the thick trunk that had no give to it despite its weary state. 

He groaned as he pushed himself up from the ground, dizzy to the point that he could barely make anything out ahead of his hands. He tried to look around for Aleks, but before he could begin to panic, Aleks was kneeling down beside his uneasy form, grabbing him around the shoulders and asking him if he was alright. 

He couldn’t hear much through the ringing in his ears – just glad that Aleks was alright – but before he could fully settle he heard Ein’s pained snorts beside him. 

He crawled up beside her despite the painful ringing in head to assess the damage, and it was very clear to James that she had broken her leg in the fall. He could also see that the arrow had struck an artery as blood poured from the wound in her leg at an alarming rate. 

James, despite knowing that this was it for her, ripped the cloak off of his shoulders – the only thing protecting him from the biting cold – and began tearing it up frantically as he pulled the arrow loose from her leg. He pressed the fabric onto the wound hard, trying desperately to stop the bleeding, even as thick, dark blood seeped through his fingers and down into the snow.

“We need to go,” Aleks said, the sound of the hooves coming through the trees even louder than before. It would only be minutes until they reached them both, and based on the accuracy of the arrow that had come from so far away, James didn’t want to be around when they got there. Aleks stood and began pulling on his arm, “I’m sorry, James, but we need to get out of here.” 

He could hear the horses coming closer, it would only be a matter of seconds until they were upon them, and he knew the larkspur was too far for them to get to in time to escape these people. He knew this, but he forced himself up anyways after giving Ein a quick kiss, shutting his eyes at the tears that stung them, threatening to spill. Her breathing was laboured, and he knew it wouldn’t be long before she was gone. 

“I’m sorry, girl,” he said, leaving her lying in the cold snow after combing his fingers through her coarse, snow damp mane one last time. 

He didn’t want to leave her alone in her last moments, but he knew where his priorities stood, and that meant leaving her and running.

The only things providing them cover was the fact that night had fallen, they were both wearing solid black, and both of them had nothing on them that could reflect the light. The guns they both carried were matte, as were the straps of their bags and belts. 

James had been at this long enough to know not to wear anything reflective. 

That wouldn’t save them forever, however, as these people knew these woods better than anyone else – as it stood James had limited experience in these woods and against these kinds of people. People that feared nothing.

Their efforts proved to be fruitless however, as a man approached quietly from ahead of them, somewhere they hadn’t been looking. James only noticed him when he heard the sound of him drawing his bow and pointing it directly at Aleks’s head. 

Aleks hadn’t seen him so James grabbed him by the shoulder to stop him from running, jerking him back to his side, and watching as Aleks eyes travelled up to look at what James was looking at. 

They could only stare up in silence at the smirking man as the horses surrounded them from behind. 

James grit his teeth as his suspicions were confirmed. 

This had been planned out far in advance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In a day or two (maybe even tonight if all goes well) I’m going to post a chapter at the beginning detailing how the Larkspur Virus works and the general layout of the three different camps to give you an idea of where everything is located (I'm not an artist but I will do my best to work with what I have). 
> 
> I’m only realizing now that a lot of what’s happening – where everyone is, what they’re doing, and what the whole Larkspur Disease is about – won’t make much sense without some proper background info. I originally thought that I could slowly leak the information to you guys and just work it into the story but that’s not working out the way I hoped it would. Some info will only come later in the story, but I want to give you guys a general idea of what's going on. ^-^' 
> 
> Once again, I also apologize for any mistakes as I am terrible at picking out little mistakes in my own writing.


	18. Quench the Fire of Your Pernicious Rage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _When he was young, he remembered being told by quite a few people that the brain had a way of preventing you from doing any serious damage to your own body._

James had been hoping for there to be some kind of break – a small chance for him to weasel out of his bindings and try to fight the men off – but that never came. These men had been more than prepared for the two of them, and that was clear by the way they carried themselves as well as by the amount of weapons they carried on their person.

They also wouldn’t have deployed 10 of their horses for two broken down men on the back of a tired plough horse, that much he was certain of.

He was smart enough not to try to fight with them in his current position, however, as it would only make their already dire situation worse. 

“Luke give you that?” James asked as he felt the rope around his wrists pull impossibly tight. 

The man tying him up didn’t stop to humour him, instead he just finished tying the rope off and haphazardly throwing him onto the makeshift wagon attached to one of the horses.

“Luke will screw you over, you know that, right?”

“Shut up,” the man sitting on the horse said. 

“He never sticks to deals; do you honestly think he would honour a deal with some half-assed ba-” Before James could get the full thought out, one of the bandits sitting off to the side jumped off of his horse and tightened a cloth over his mouth. 

They were clearly not up for any kind of negotiations or peace talks with them. 

Aleks looked panic-stricken as they began moving back toward the centre of camp, and James couldn’t blame them, he was feeling it just as much as he was. They were in a situation that was almost impossible to escape, and Luke would be arriving to take them very soon. 

As they rode back to camp in relative silence – the men leading them back exchanging a few muffled words – he could eventually hear voices coming from their camp. Though he considered it small in comparison to the other three groups’, it was larger than any bandit camp he had seen before. These people had somehow formed a sort of community amongst themselves, something the other three camps had a very difficult time maintaining. 

When they finally got to the centre, he saw that they had a massive bonfire lit with a few dozen people standing around it or near it. All of them looked emaciated, some of them even on the verge of death, but the fact that they had managed to survive for so long while so far up north was a wonder in and of itself. 

They all turned to look when James and Aleks were hauled into the centre of camp. They had been waiting for their return, as their cheers grew loud and raucous when they saw James and Aleks sitting in the back of the wagon, eyes downcast. 

All these things, from the emaciated bodies to the loud cheering was more than enough proof for James that they had struck a deal of sorts with Luke, and it had no doubt been something to do with food. James desperately wanted to be angry at them, but he had been struggling like they had at one point, and he had done things far worse than what these people were going to do to them. 

Instead of glaring at the crowd, he sat in resolute silence, staring off into the distance at nothing in particular as they were dragged into a large cabin and thrown haphazardly onto the solid wood ground.

The bandits wasted no time in tying the both of them up around a beam – which was nothing more than a barkless stump of a tree – In the centre of the cabin that held the structure together. The building wasn’t anything complex, but James was impressed with what they had managed – the larger groups of bandits just stole suburb homes, never actually having to build anything for themselves, these people had actually managed to do what the others hadn’t even tried. 

James was about to start kicking up a fuss about what was going on when he felt fingers brush against the back of his neck. His nerves settled, however, when those fingers loosened the cloth around his mouth, letting the thin blue cloth slide down his face and rest gently against his collar bones. 

The man who loosened it walked around in front, grabbing James’s face without any preamble and turning it from side to side, checking to make sure it was really him. After letting his face go, he grabbed James’s arm and rolled up one of the sleeves of his sweater, checking the tattoos on his arm for good measure. 

He nodded, silently confirming that this was the right person. 

He was a thin, weak looking man, but James knew more than anyone that looks could be deceiving. If this was the man they had settled on as their leader, then there was more than likely a good reason for it.

When he seemed satisfied with what he saw of James, he did the same with Aleks, pulling up his sleeves and then rolling them back down before backing away from the two of them. 

“That’s them.” 

“Are you sure?” One of the armed men asked, looking from the man standing before them to the two of them tied up on the ground. 

The man sighed, “well, I don’t think there are too many people left out there with those exact tattoos.” 

When the other man appeared to back down, the man with that dark, greying hair crouched down in front of them.

“I’m Laurent,” he said easily. “You won’t be seeing much of me because you’ll be gone by dawn, but I feel as though a proper introduction is in order.”

James rolled his eyes. 

“And you’re James – James Wilson, right?” 

“What if I said no?”

The man scoffed, “you really want to be petulant with me?”

James didn’t say anything, and when the man reached out to him he spat in his face. 

Aleks looked horrified, but he remained quiet by James’s side despite the obvious rising fear in him. This was a side of James that he wasn’t used to seeing – would never be used to seeing. 

The man quietly wiped the spit from his brow, and before James had a chance to say anything in his defence, his ears were ringing from a punch landed directly to the side of his head. 

James felt the rope pressing hard into his ribs as he did his best to lean onto his side, trying to let the blood drip from his mouth and nose and down onto the dirty floor beneath him. Before he could even collect himself and spit the blood from his mouth, another punch landed, then another, and another before Aleks finally spoke up. 

“Stop,” Aleks shouted, and James could feel the ropes pulling tight as he strained hard against them, coughing on his own blood. 

James’s head was still ringing when the man grabbed him from beneath the chin, pulling him forward and levelling his head so they were staring eye to eye. 

“If you want me to stop, you best remember that I am not Kain or Luke. I will take your nappy head right off, boy.”

The man pushed him back into the pillar behind him, finally giving James a chance to spit the blood out from his mouth and let it run free from his already swelling nose. His nose was most definitely broken, but his jaw was no more then badly bruised, and that he was thankful for. 

He could feel Aleks anxiously fidgeting beside him, but he didn’t want to look up at him, not in the state he was in now. The last thing he wanted was for Aleks to have more to worry about. 

If Luke would be here by dawn, then he and Aleks had very little time to get out of this place. He needed to do something drastic, but based on what this man had just done to his face over a small act of defiance, he was worried that he would only get one shot at getting away without being beaten within an inch of his life. 

So he waited, listening impatiently as the man began talking. 

“Luke offered us a lot for you two,” he said with a shrug. “I know you hate us right now, but keep in mind that we don’t have the same luxuries as the other three camps. We’re only doing what we have to do, you should understand that.” 

The man was walking back and forth in front of them aimlessly, so James thought it as good a time as any to try to quietly pull his hands free of the leather straps bound around them.

Quietly, he started trying to work his hands out, doing his best not to move his shoulders much. He knew the effort would most likely bear no fruit, but he still tried. There wasn’t much else he could do at this point. 

“I can see that you’re trying to get your hands out of those bindings, but let me tell you now, it’s not going to work. You must feel how tight they are? We’re not dumb enough to give you any room to work with. We all know what you’re like, don’t think Luke spared any details.” 

The man walked up close to him, and for a second James thought that the man was going to knee him in the face. 

James stopped his movements immediately, steeling his face and shutting his eyes to prepare himself for another hard blow. 

He opened them quick, however, when he felt the man’s presence move from him. 

He turned to look at Aleks the second the man grabbed him by the back of his head and rammed his knee into his face. To add insult to injury, he gave Aleks another swift kick to the gut, knocking the wind out of him. 

He was about to deliver another blow when James raised his voice, “Stop.”

The man let his fist fall to his side, also letting his grip on Aleks’s hair loosen. 

James could only watch in horror as Aleks spit out one of his teeth, blood following in its wake. 

“If you want me to stop, then stop struggling,” the man said, levelling one last kick to Aleks’s gut before taking a step back from the both of them. 

James couldn’t help but pull against the leather straps around him when he saw that, though he was having a hard time deciding between running to Aleks’s side or killing the man that stood before them if he got free. 

The man looked back and forth between the two of them for some time before he smirked and let out a soft, breathy laugh. 

“Put the big one in the other cabin,” he said to one of the guards who had remained stock still and quiet throughout the whole ordeal. “And use the chains, I don’t trust him.” 

James shook his head at this, pulling and struggling even harder against the straps that held he and Aleks down. He couldn’t be separated from Aleks, not now, not when Aleks was so sick with the infection in his eye. 

He couldn’t leave Aleks alone with these people. 

“No, no, come on,” James started when he felt the guards undoing the straps around his midsection. “Please.” 

These men were careful about how they handled James, obviously taking notes from whatever Luke had told them about him. They wouldn’t leave him alone – they wouldn’t give him a chance to do anything before Luke got there, and they knew better than to leave him anywhere near Aleks. 

As James struggled against them, he kicked out at Laurent despite the consequences he would face for doing something like that. He barely grazed his face with his foot, however, and the action was met with a swift punch to the gut by one of the guards holding him back. 

He heaved at the impact, but didn’t vomit as his stomach was entirely empty. He could only gasp and take in weak little breaths of air.

Even as he was dragged out, however, Aleks wasn’t looking up from where he was still doubled over, blood running from his mouth sluggishly and staining the dirty wood floor beneath him. There was obviously something going on with him, something that had very little to do with the man hitting him and more to do with the infection rapidly coursing through his system. 

To say he was worried about him was more than an understatement at this point. 

He struggled all the way out to the other cabin, even managing to land a kick on one of the soldiers trying to chain him down to the floor by his wrists. The metal was cold and unforgiving, and James knew that there was no way he was going to get his hands out of them without somehow getting a hold of the keys. 

The guard in front of him let out a laugh when he saw James pulling against the chain that was ground into the wood beneath them. 

“That’s not coming out,” he said. “That chain is dug about 10 feet into the ground. We’ve been preparing for this for months.” 

James’s shoulders slackened at this, and he turned to look the man in the eyes. Though he was a prideful person, he was not above trying to strike a deal with the enemy or begging to get away with his life. 

This wasn’t about him this time, though. He was worried about Aleks, and the way he looked before and after they had gotten caught worried him immensely. It was obvious that he was growing sicker and sicker by the day, and he needed to get to him. 

He would find a way to make him better, but first he needed to get them away from here. He needed to get them as far away from Luke as possible.

“Do you know what Luke will do to you guys when he gets us?” James asked. 

The man didn’t seem all that interested or concerned, but he raised a brow for James to continue anyways. 

“He’ll kill you all, you’re all nothing more than a thorn in his side – he’s killing two birds with one stone here. He’ll be able to infiltrate your camp on the basis of collecting Aleks and I, and then when he’s in he’ll destroy it with ease.” 

The man scoffed, but the look in his eyes said something else entirely. 

James could work with that.

“It makes sense, doesn’t it?” 

The man furrowed his brows briefly, “our leader said that he would only allow 10 of Luke’s soldiers through to collect you guys – we outnumber them by quite a bit.” 

“They have better weapons – they have armour. You guys won’t even make a dent on them.” 

“Our leader wouldn’t allow something to happen to us,” the man turned to get away. It was obvious by the look in his eyes, however, that the thought had crossed his mind at some point as well.

“Wait,” James started. “I’ll do anything, so just let me go. He’s sick, I need to ge-”

“I heard about what you did to Luke’s wife,” the man said when he turned around after a brief moment of silence. “If you think I trust you enough to let you loose in this camp, then you really are crazy. You’re way worse than they could ever be.” 

“Wait-”

The man opened the door to leave, but before he did so he turned around and smirked, pulling the keys free of his belt and jingling them in front of James’s face before stuffing them back into his front pocket. 

When he left, he slammed the door shut behind him with a loud snort. 

James grit his teeth, slamming his fist into the ground repeatedly until he could see the surface of the skin growing angry and red. 

They were caught, and he had no idea what to do. 

He lifted his hands in front of his face so he could get a better look at the chains, and it was very clear to him that they were too tight to work his hands out of, and far too thick to try and break against the ground. He would break his wrists before he could even make a dent in the thick metal.

He pulled against the cuffs, biting against the pain that ripped through his arms when the metal hit the thick bone of his thumb. 

The metal catching on the hard bone, however, is what finally gave him an idea. 

\-----

Aleks sat with his head bowed, letting his weight press against the leather straps around his midsection.

His head felt dizzy and clouded, and the taste of the warm blood spilling from his mouth made his empty stomach roil uncomfortably hard. 

He was distantly aware of James’s voice, angry and loud, retreating. He wanted to look up to see what was happening – to see where they were taking James – but his head felt too heavy to lift. 

His eye burned. 

When he finally came to, just barely lucid, there was a man holding his head up and looking into his eyes, it was the man who had hit James. He had told them his name was Laurent, that much Aleks could remember through the haze.

When he looked around the room, he saw that the gauze that had been covering one of them had been removed. 

“What the fuck?” He said, letting either sides of Aleks’ head go as he backed away. “What’s wrong with your eye?” 

Aleks couldn’t answer, mainly because of the buzzing in his head and the burning in his eye, but also because he really didn’t have an answer. He wanted to know what was going on with him just as much as their captor did. 

He also wondered just how bad it had gotten since they had been captured. He was certain it couldn’t be very good based on the disgusted reaction of the man. 

“I don’t know what Luke wants you for,” he said as he tossed the gauze onto the floor beside Aleks, “but he better get you soon because I have a right mind to put you out of your misery right now.” 

Aleks couldn’t keep his head up any longer, the buzzing in his head getting too loud for him to hear anything. 

“Christ, I hope I didn’t catch something from touching him,” he said as he wiped his hands against his dirty shirt. “Hey, don’t die on me before he gets here,” the man said when he saw Aleks’s head hanging. 

When Aleks didn’t respond, he nudged his face with his foot. 

“Where’s James?” Aleks asked. His own voice was barely audible over the constant buzzing in his head. It had started out a quiet hum, and now he could barely even hear his own voice over it. 

“What?” The man asked. 

“Where is he?” 

He wondered if his words were even coming out complete, or if they were slurred and messy due to his sluggish state. 

He was betting on the latter.

The man clearly couldn’t understand as he got right into Aleks’s face, lifting his chin so they were at eye level. 

“I said,” the man barked as he closed in on him, only a hair’s breadth away, “what did you say?” 

\-----

When he was young, he remembered being told by quite a few people that the brain had a way of preventing you from doing any serious damage to your own body. Even if you held a knife tight in your hand, your mind would fire warnings at you rapidly, making your hand seize up before you could take the final plunge. 

He figured that was most likely true for the average person, but he wondered if the people who came up with this ever figured desperation, adrenaline and a savage rage beyond anything he had ever experienced. 

He thought not. 

As he bit into the meat of his thumb, pressing in until he could feel the skin give way and his teeth sink into the bitter iron of his flesh, he wondered where those people were now and what they would think of him doing this. 

He held in a pained scream by biting down onto his sweater when he pulled the flesh free, exposing the fatty tissue, the tendons, and worst of all the bone of his thumb. 

He spat out the chunk of his own flesh, slamming the back of his head into the wall repeatedly in an attempt to escape the screaming pain in his hand. He was beginning to wonder if he could really do this, but since he had taken the first bite, he knew there was no going back from this now. 

He needed to do this. 

He held his hand by the wrist in front of him, watching as blood gushed nauseatingly from the wound he had made – the wound he had made with his own teeth and of his own volition. 

He knew he didn’t have much time before he bled out, and he knew he needed to act fast. So, as reckless and quick on his feet as always, he put his mouth over the thick bone of his thumb. 

As he centered his teeth over the right spot, he shuddered at the feeling of his teeth brushing against the web between his thumb and pointer finger, and the idea of what he was about to do to himself.

He pushed that feeling down, however, and bit down as hard as he could. 

First he heard the bone shatter beneath his teeth – could feel the bone shatter like a ceramic pot against pavement – and the pain of that was inexplicable. He had broken several of his fingers before, but something about doing it himself and with his own teeth heightened this pain tenfold. 

He pressed down even harder despite his brain rapidly firing “stop, stop, stop,” over and over again at him until he felt his teeth break through the bone, coming together on the other side with a snap as they rended through the rest of his flesh like butter. 

His head spun when he finally tore through the rest of the flesh, watching in brief a state of shock as his thumb fell to the ground beside him, coming to rest in the centre of the pool of blood that he had created. 

Despite the nausea that the sight induced, it didn’t stop him from trying to carry out his plan. Even if the sight did horrify him, it was far too late to turn back now. 

He didn’t take his hand out of the chain, not yet, and began screaming, shouting, slamming his feet against the ground as hard as he could to get the attention of the guard outside. 

His screaming wouldn’t go unnoticed, however, and he only hoped it was the guard with the key that came rushing through the door. 

If it wasn’t him, he wasn’t sure what he would do. 

He was certain that he couldn’t possibly manage to bite through another one of his thumbs. 

\-----

Their leader, Aleks assumed, was only a breath away when his head flicked up at the sound of James screaming and cursing up a storm from the cabin they had brought him to outside.

When he did this, Aleks was faced with his bare, freckle spotted neck.

There was a ruckus going on outside because of the noise he was making. 

“God damn it,” the man said, looking around the room at the other guards standing still. “Fucking go out there and do something,” he shouted, “everyone in camp is going to hear that. Calm them down.” 

The men all filed out of the room at this demand, and this was their leaders’ biggest mistake. 

The man cursed one more time, but before he had a chance to look back down at Aleks or say anything, blunt teeth were sinking deep into his jugular. 

Aleks didn’t know where this sudden burst of strength came from, but as he ripped away at the man’s throat and spat the flesh onto the ground beside him, he was thankful for it. 

The make chocked out words that Aleks couldn’t make out over the gurgling, and sunk to the ground on his knees, his head dropping onto Aleks’s shoulder with a soft thud.

The blood pouring from his neck saturated the front of his sweater. 

Aleks nudged the man off of him and onto the ground before pushing himself up and off of the ground. His clothes made him look bigger than he actually was, and the straps around him had grown loose from James pulling against them earlier – two things that these people hadn’t accounted for – and with some manoeuvering they easily slipped over Aleks’s thin hips when he stood. 

His arms were still bound, but that was a problem he could face later. 

These men needed them alive – they wouldn’t kill them – so all he could hope for was that the screaming before was James’s attempt to divert their attention. 

He was reckless, but there was usually a good enough reason for whatever reckless action he decided to take. 

With arms bound, Aleks made his way to the large set of doors that they had taken James out of, hoping that whatever was happening where he was, he was alright. 

As he left, he could hear the infection rushing through the man’s body behind him. 

He could hear the larkspur already beginning to rend flesh.

It would only take a second. 

\-----

The soldier James had been hoping for came rushing through the door, cursing at him to be quiet lest he wake up the entire camp. 

The smirk from before had quickly disappeared from his face. 

When James didn’t comply, he hit James square in the jaw with the butt of his rifle, causing the barely closed wounds on his lips and nose to reopen. 

He didn’t care about this, however, as this caused the man to get closer to him as well as give James ample access to his weapon. 

This was exactly what he needed and then some.

James slipped his wounded hand out of the cuffs with a hiss, some of the already sticky, coagulated blood catching on the cold chains. 

Before the man could even look up, James reached up with his wounded hand and grabbed the gun. It was difficult to hold something without the tight grip usually provided by a thumb, but because the man was distracted as well as shocked by what he was seeing, he was luckily able to slip it free and point it directly at the man’s chest.

He man reeled back with his hands up, taking several steps back into the wall behind him. 

“Holy fuck,” he said when he saw James’s missing thumb lying on the ground and the gaping wound that was left on his hand. “What in the fuck is wrong with-”

“Give me the keys,” James said, cutting the man off. “I’ll shoot, so give me them. Now.” 

The sound of boards breaking and snapping into pieces, paired with the sudden panicked screams of the people of the camp, startled both of them. Whatever was happening outside wasn’t good, and James didn’t want to spend a second longer in this camp. 

“Give them to me,” James shouted over the sounds of the screaming bandits. 

The man, shaking and looking all around him for signs of what was happening, pulled the keys free of his pocket and held them out to James from a distance. 

James grabbed them from his hand, and before the man could even open his mouth he pulled the trigger, causing the man’s chest to cave in from the close range of the rifle. 

He made quick work of the chains around his wrists, letting them clatter to the floor next to his thumb. 

He was smart to have chewed the thumb off of his left hand, as it made holding the gun slightly easier then it could have been. It was still a chore, and it would no doubt prove to be a great hindrance in the future, but it had been necessary.

He quickly ripped a strip of cloth off of the dead man’s shirt and wasted no time in pulling it tight around his wrist, taking several others strips and winding them over the gaping wound in his hand. 

He didn’t do a good job, but it would have to suffice for now. 

He was patting the dead man down when the door suddenly swung open. 

He shot up immediately and held the barrel of his gun in the face of whoever it was, but was shocked to find that it was Aleks. 

He stood there before him, disheveled, his eye looking worse than it had ever been and his skin even paler then he had ever seen it. 

“Aleks,” James started. 

Aleks, however, didn’t even have a chance to respond as he dropped to his knees in front of him, crumpling to the floor immediately after. 

“Fuck,” he shouted, panicking internally as he crouched down beside him to pick him up in his arms. The gaping wound on James’s hand protested to this, but he knew they needed to get out soon.

Aleks wasn’t getting any better, and he was certain that it wouldn’t take long for infection to set in his hand. It was a wide open wound, and on top of that he had bit into the flesh with bacteria ridden teeth. 

He threw the door open immediately, and he could see the sun peeking over the horizon. 

Luke could be here at any moment. 

It wasn’t the sun, however, or even the idea of Luke that captured most of his attention. It was what he saw weaving and dancing in the foreground of the sun that took his breath away and pulled him, if only briefly, away from reality. 

It was a larkspur. 

A larkspur – something he had never before seen so up close – was sprouting from the centre of the cabin he and Aleks had been taken to upon arrival. 

On the ground, he saw others lying all around, either already dead or going into shock after being lashed. They had been giving no warning. 

He was certain that this was far more than half of the camp dead. 

Unconsciously, James backed up a few steps, afraid to be lashed until he remembered the fact that Aleks had already infected him long ago. 

He was immune, and had nothing to worry about. 

At least, nothing to worry about as far as larkspurs went. There were far worse things waiting for them out there, of that he was certain. 

That didn’t stop the fear, however, of seeing a larkspur so up close and personal for the first time. He was well within lashing range, but just as Aleks had said, it had no interest in two people that were immune to it. 

He looked down at Aleks, unconscious in his arms, then back up at the larkspur that waved around almost aimlessly after nabbing all of its targets. 

Aleks had done this, he had no doubt. How he did it, he didn’t know, but he was sure that it was him. 

He watched for a few more seconds in silence until the nausea hit him like a bag of bricks. James was getting dizzier by the second from the blood loss, so he made his way to the nearest horse. 

He felt a pang in his chest at the fact that Ein was lying somewhere out there in the woods, dead and cold, buried beneath a heavy mat of white snow. 

She didn’t deserve to be killed like that. 

He placed Aleks atop the horse before jumping on behind him, hitting the horse with the back of his heels to get it started. It was a steed, so he didn’t expect the speed at which it started up, almost knocking him off due to his weakening grip and missing thumb. He held tight, however, and swung the horse around so he could grab weapons and various items off of some of the dead bandits. 

Though the larkspur had given Aleks and James a chance to get away by killing everyone in a mile radius, it was a mixed blessing as Kain and Luke would most certainly know where they were headed. As it was, the larkspur was growing rapidly, its branches already reaching far above the treeline and toward the endless sky. 

He knew it wasn’t safe to go north anymore, so he rushed west in the hopes of dodging Kain and Luke for some time. 

The sky was dark and starless. 

There was a storm coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm almost **ALMOST** certain that this will be done by chapter 22! I've planned out the chapters and - provided no unexpected plot bunnies happen - it seems like I should be done by then. Even though there are only 4 chapters left (maybe) I feel the need to tell you guys that they will all be whopping chapters. Based on how I've been planning them out, both chapter 21 and 22 will be insanely long, like, 10,000 words each long ('-.-)/. 
> 
> I also felt the need to say that you guys are amazing! You've offered a lot of support and have kept up to it faithfully, and for that I can't thank you all enough! (♥ω♥ ) ~♪


	19. For Never was a Story of More Woe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“I don’t want to forget you.”_

A few hours into their trek west, Aleks finally woke up from his almost soundless sleep. 

James was glad for it, as he was beginning to get worried that Aleks wouldn’t wake up this time. 

When he opened his eyes, however, James almost immediately came to wish that he had just stayed sleeping until they had found a decent shelter to wait out the storm. Aleks was not well, and that much was clear by what he did upon waking. 

Upon opening his eyes, Aleks almost shouted at the pain no doubt ripping through him. His hand immediately came to rest over his infected eye, hissing at even the slightest contact. He was so caught up in the pain in his eye, in fact, that he completely let go of James, causing him to almost fall off of the horse. 

“Jesus Christ,” James said as he quickly took hold of one of Aleks’s arms. 

Aleks let out a yelp in surprise, both at the suddenness of James grabbing him and the realization that he was sitting on the back of a horse. 

It was no wonder he was surprised, he had passed out on solid ground, after all. 

He glanced up at James briefly before he looked down at where James held him steady with his hand. Aleks looked up at him, a confused look dancing across his face only briefly before he nodded to himself. 

What he nodded to himself for, James didn’t know, but Aleks had calmed down after this and that was enough for him. 

He settled down then, letting his hand drop from Aleks’s arm so he could properly secure them around his waist. 

After this, the two of them rode west until the horse couldn’t go any longer without food or water, and James thought it as good a time as any to take shelter. 

The storm would be starting anytime soon, and James wanted to make sure they found a secure place to take shelter from it. 

Just one glance at the angry, deep grey clouds above them and the heaviness of the still air encompassing them told James that it would be a very bad storm. He didn’t know how long it would last, but he was grateful for it as it would give them time to relax before they needed to take off at a run again. 

Luke and Kain would be forced to stop just like they were – they would both know better than anyone that trying to track in a storm would just make things more difficult in the end. 

Though his own hand was now screaming at him in pain, it was also clear to James that Aleks was in an immense amount of pain, perhaps even more than he was in. This was a perfect opportunity for the both of them to get some rest and heal up. 

“Ok, we’re gonna rest at this building coming up,” James said over his shoulder. In the distance, James could see an old abandoned supermarket. It looked a little shabby – like it had once been an apartment complex or a duplex – but that was what drew James to it. If it had been locally owned, there was a good chance it would have a bed or cot of sorts, and most likely safe and well insulated rooms. 

He could feel Aleks nodding his head against his shoulder, and with that he was satisfied. At least Aleks could hear and understand him still, that much he was thankful for. 

The way he had passed out at the camp still had him worried, however. It was as clear as day to James now that Aleks wasn’t getting any better. All he could do now was hope that he wouldn’t get any worse. He didn’t say much for the rest of the trek over, but James could still hear him breathing and hissing at the pain running through his eye. 

He was so focussed on Aleks, however, that he had completely ignored his own affliction. Which is why, when he reached up to help Aleks off the horse when they were finally standing outside of the small, abandoned shopping centre, Aleks gasped. 

“James, what happened? What did they do to you?” Aleks face had grown pale at seeing his missing thumb, even more so than it had already been. He looked from the missing thumb and back up at James’s battered face. 

Snow rained down on them in sheets now.

“Oh,” James said. He had forgotten that Aleks had passed out immediately after meeting back up with him. He hadn’t seen what James had done to get out of those shackles. 

What he had done to protect him. 

Aleks kept staring at him, waiting for an answer. Snow was now covering his warm, brown hair like a white sheet. 

The snow was a shocking contrast to Aleks’s pale, but still dirt-smeared, skin. 

“They chained me up,” James said as he brushed a few wet strands of hair out of Aleks’s face. “There was no way to get my hands free.” 

“So you chewed your own finger off?” Aleks’s voice broke on the last few words, his body betraying him in its exhaustion. He moved James hand away from his face to get a closer look at the blood soaked cloth that sat where his thumb once did. 

Aleks looked near passing out again, and James worried that he would have to see a repeat of what happened the night the two of them had escaped the Northern bandits’ camp. 

“Look, its fine,” James said, grabbing Aleks’s shoulders to hold him steady where he stood unsteadily beside the large chestnut coloured steed. 

“It’s not fine,” Aleks said, his voice rising despite his very apparent exhaustion. “Let me take care of it. Now.” 

“Aleks, it’s fine. I can take care of it myself.”

“No,” Aleks said. “It’s not fine. It’s always you – you’re always the one taking care of me. Please, just let me do this. You wouldn’t let me look at the bullet wound in your leg, and do you remember what happened then?”

James wanted to protest, but Aleks didn’t look like he was ready to back down on this count. Even weak like this, Aleks was just as stubborn as he always was.

James sighed, then nodded his head toward the backpack he had snagged off of one of the soldiers that happened to have medical supplies in it.

“Come on,” James said, motioning toward the large double doors of the supermarket. “Let’s get him inside, and I’ll let you take a look at it in there.”

Aleks sighed but nodded his head, helping James manoeuvre the large steed through the doors. They couldn’t leave the horse outside – partly because of possible rogue bandits running around, Luke or Kain being nearby, and mainly because of the fact that a storm was coming and it would be cruel to leave a horse sitting outside in that.

When the horse was finally inside, Aleks set to work quietly taking things from the bag that James had haphazardly tied to its saddle. 

As he watched Aleks quietly pull things out, James made use of himself by pulling out some of the extra antibiotics he had managed to find. There wasn’t much left, but it was becoming clear to James that the antibiotics weren’t really doing much at all to stop the progress of Aleks’s infection at this point. 

He would keep getting Aleks to take them, however, as he didn’t want to give up so easily. 

As James dug around, Aleks heard the rattling of the bottle behind him, and he seemed to only remember then what was going on with his own eye at the familiar sound. He pressed a dirty hand over his swollen eye, wincing when he felt how hot the infected skin had become. 

He came back and sat in front of James after some of the pain seemed to settle. He gently placed the stuff he had taken with him onto the cold ground in front of him. For whatever reason, he wouldn’t meet James’s eyes. 

“How is it?” James asked, leaning over a little to try to meet Aleks’s eyes. 

Aleks didn’t look up from the ground at this, only sunk even lower as he pretended to be absently playing with the frayed ends on the roll of gauze he had taken from the backpack on the horse. 

“Aleks?”

When he didn’t answer, James grabbed him from beneath the chin and lifted his head so they were finally eye to eye. Aleks didn’t fight him like he thought he would, instead he just averted his eyes.

“Come on, Aleks,” James said as he tilted his head to properly look at him. 

“It burns,” Aleks said truthfully, very briefly making eye contact with James. 

James sighed and placed the pills into Aleks’s hand quietly, closing his fist softly around Aleks’ slighter fingers. 

“Take them,” James said as he finally let his fingers flip from beneath Aleks’s chin.

Aleks nodded his head quickly before putting the pills into his mouth. 

He looked lost in thought again, but not only that, he looked panicked. James didn’t bring it up with him, however, as he knew that Aleks was having a difficult time coping with the infection. 

He tried to assure himself that it was just the fever from the infection that was making Aleks act like someone else. 

After a few moments of silence, just as James was about to ask if he was alright again, Aleks began slowly and carefully unravelling the dirty, bloodstained cloth around James’s damaged hand. 

The state of his hand was disgusting, to say the least. The blood from the gaping wound had caked onto the cloth in a thick mat, and the sound it made as Aleks peeled it off made his stomach turn and his skin crawl. 

If he had eaten he was certain he would have vomited up the entire contents of his stomach – acid and all. 

When the bandage was finally fully removed, James could finally see the true extent of damage he had done to himself. Even through the blood he could see the teeth marks marring his skin, the tendons that once strung his thumb to the rest of his hand, the thin bone of the knuckle of his pointer finger, and worse yet, the jagged stump that was once the bone of his thumb. 

Aleks took a deep, shaky breath, turning away from the wound as he tried to wrestle down a gag. 

“I know,” James said. “You don’t have to do this, it isn’t a problem for me. I’ve seen worse, so-”

“It’s fine,” Aleks said shortly as he picked up the water James had stolen from one of the dead soldiers’ bodies. “Are you ready?”

James bit his bottom lip, nodding his head reluctantly and bracing his hand in front of his face as Aleks tipped the bottle over slowly.

He knew it was going to hurt. 

The feeling of the water running directly over the gaping wound made him throw his head back, grinding his teeth together hard as he was just barely able to hold back the shout of pain stagnating at the back of his throat. 

Aleks winced himself as he poured the water onto the broken flesh, watching in almost sick fascination as the water washed away the cakey, coagulated blood resting on the wound. 

When James finally chanced a look back at the hand, he could see the exposed knuckle of his index finger – ceramic white and staring right back at him. 

In the rush to get out of his shackles, he had bit too hard and too fast, he could see that now. 

James hissed out a curse as the last drop of water ran from his hand and onto the solid wood floor beneath them, staining the floor and leeching through the cracks in the floorboards. 

However, as Aleks began wrapping the wound as best he could in his tired state, James was shocked at how little the wound was bleeding despite the severity of it. He had no doubt caused a lot of trauma, and if anything he should have passed out from blood loss by now. 

James was so caught up in these thoughts that he almost missed what Aleks said. 

“He’s healing already,” Aleks said quietly, almost too low for James to hear. He was looking down at James’s hand carefully, wrapping the wound almost mechanically. 

“What did you say?”

Aleks didn’t respond, his face completely blank as he continued wrapping James’s hand in the fresh gauze. 

“Aleks?” James asked. He sat up straight and gently brushed one of Aleks’s slight shoulders with the knuckles of his free hand. 

Aleks jumped at this, sitting up straight and dropping the roll of gauze in the process. 

James’s brows furrowed, “are you feeling alright?”

Aleks shook his head, letting out a humourless chuckle, “sorry, I’m a little out of it right now. I must just be really tired.”

“Here,” James said, taking hold of the gauze and tying it off, his eyes still locked on Aleks’s pale face. “Let me look at your eye now.”

“No,” Aleks said. He pressed one of his hands over the eye quickly, still refusing to make eye contact with James. 

“Aleks, it needs to be cleaned,” James said seriously. 

“No.”

James reached out for Aleks’s hand, and it was immediately slapped away. 

It was only then that he saw Aleks’s glassy eye, tears brimming along his lids and only a push away from spilling over. 

“Aleks, what’s wrong?” 

“I just need to sleep,” Aleks said. “Can we please just go to sleep. I’m tired.”

James let his hand drop to his side, but nodded his head slowly at Aleks’s request. There wasn’t much he could do in this situation. The last thing he wanted to do was force Aleks to do something he didn’t want, and if he didn’t want his eye cleaned, then that was his choice. 

He had taken the antibiotics, at the very least. 

James stood up at this, reaching his hand down to help Aleks up. 

He took it without hesitation, allowing James to help him up to his feet. 

His hand, however, never left his infected eye. 

He quietly helped Aleks pull some blankets and jackets free from the backpack. They both dragged the stuff into what could only be the manager’s office on the second floor, lying the down behind the large wooden desk and pulling a cot out of the room adjacent to the office. 

They could use the desk as a barrier while they both slept. They both needed sleep more than anything now, and with the coming storm there was almost no point to one of them staying up to keep watch. 

No one would be out during a blizzard. 

Without a word Aleks crawled onto the small cot, wrapping both of his hands together and pressing them into his chest for warmth. 

James grabbed one of the coarse wool blankets that they had carried in with them, handing it over to Aleks who bundled himself up into it immediately. 

His lids were already closing and he was shaking from the cold, but despite all this he still reached his hand out to James. 

“Come,” Aleks said sleepily. 

James shook his head gently, but still took Aleks’s soft hand in his own. 

He sat down on the side of the cot beside him, rubbing soothing circles into the back of his hand as his eyelids fluttered. 

“Why?” Aleks asked, his voice slurred. 

“I need to lock the front doors and dig around for food and wood,” James said. “It won’t take me longer than ten minutes, but you should get some sleep anyways. I promise I’ll be back up soon.” 

Aleks let out a sleepy groan and nodded his head, pressing himself into James’s warm back. “Don’t take too long.”

James nodded his head in agreement despite Aleks’s eyes already being shut. It was clear to James that he was exhausted both mentally and physically. 

When his breathing finally evened itself out, indicating that he had fallen into a sound sleep, James let go of his hand and gently placed it back under the covers next to his warm body. 

He pressed a soft kiss to his temple before he stood to reluctantly leave the room. 

\-----

It really didn’t take long for James to find what they needed. 

He found a treasure trove of non-perishable goods on the shelves around the supermarket as well as under the cash register. It took minimal searching to find more than enough for the two of them.

Inside the cash register James found several bills he could use to start a fire, and a few loose boards around the entire complex that could be used to start a fire. Under normal circumstances he would have went outside to forage for sticks and the like as the created cleaner fires, but he knew that any loose sticks he found outside would all be wet and virtually useless after all the heavy snowfall. 

Instead of worrying over it, he bundled the food and sticks up into his arm and placed them at the entrance to the door upstairs as quietly as he could. 

Though he had been gone for less than 30 minutes, he still opened the door to briefly check on Aleks. 

He had moved from the position he had been in before James left. Now he had his back to James, rising and falling gently in his sleep. 

Satisfied with this, James shut the door carefully behind him.

He trudged down the stairs quickly to barre the doors with a newspaper stand and a few stray chairs. He was certain there would be heavy winds with the storm, and the last thing he wanted was for them to get blown open and let in an unbearable amount of cold air. As it was, the inside of the abandoned supermarket was cold and bitter – even a fire wouldn’t keep all the cold away from them. 

James clapped his hands together as he looked at his messy – albeit useful – handiwork, patting the steed they had taken on the head before returning to the second floor. 

When he finally returned the room, he spent some time laying the food in front of the desk along with the wood and the backpacks that he had stolen off of the bandits. They had carried on them quite a few valuable items, one of them being some flint and steel, so James made sure to keep that nearby.

When a low fire was set inside a small steel wastepaper basket, James pushed the large desk up against the door as quietly as he could, wincing as it screeched along the hard ceramic flooring. 

It weighed a tonne and it was quite loud, so he knew no one would be getting inside the building without waking one of them up or startling their stolen horse. 

Finally, after wiping some sweat from his brow, he zipped his sweater up and climbed under the warm blankets beside Aleks. 

Aleks stirred some from the cold air, shivering as James pressed him close to his chest. It was only cold for a moment, however, and soon enough James began to share some of his body heat with Aleks, who settled and pressed closer into the warmth, mumbling something or another under his breath. 

He quietly watched as Aleks’s eyebrows jumped and his mouth twitched – he was dreaming, but about what James didn’t know. All he knew was that Aleks looked peaceful, warm and comfortable for once after so long, and that was more than enough for him. 

He fell asleep beside him like that, twining his remaining fingers with Aleks’s cold ones. 

\-----

When James woke, he was met with nothing but the cold, empty air around him and an empty mattress. 

It had become dark outside again and snow rained down heavily from the sky. A blizzard was on its way, and he was certain that by morning it would be in full effect. 

Though it would be cold and near unbearable, the blizzard coming was a mixed blessing. 

He knew that Kain and Luke would be forced to stop as well, and it was also good as it hid them from Kain and Luke. For one, they fully expected them to keep heading north, and another fact was that the larkspur they had left behind in that bandit camp would force Kain and Luke to make a rather large detour. 

They had a bit more time on their hands now – not much, but it was better then what they had been working with before. 

As the sleep started running from his system, he finally became aware of his surroundings. He blinked several times at the cold, empty space in front of him. 

He shivered hard – the fire he had left burning in the wastepaper basket had went out even though he had set it properly before he slept. 

He was about to worry when he heard the sound of someone moving in the room, but very soon after the sound reached his ears, James could hear mumbling and the sound of paper ripping from behind him. 

“Aleks?” James asked. 

The room was dark, but with the help of the moonlight leeching in through the window, he could see some of his surroundings. When he turned over in the cot, James could see Aleks sitting cross-legged on the floor, surrounded by a large pile of crumpled and ripped up notebook paper. 

James sat up quietly at this, watching as Aleks frantically scribbled something down before tearing the paper and throwing it off beside him to join the rest of the paper. 

He began scribbling quickly only to do the same thing again – ripping the sheet and tossing it off to the side with a frustrated huff. 

James slowly got off of the bed, careful not to make the rusted cot creak beneath him as he did so. He got down onto his hands and knees and crawled over behind him. He didn’t want to startle Aleks by walking up behind him, and based on how he had been acting for the past few weeks, just asking him what he was doing wouldn’t yield any results.

Aleks wouldn’t tell him what was going on, so James took it upon himself to find out what was actually happening with him. 

As he got closer he could hear Aleks mumbling something under his breath. It was almost inaudible, but as James got closer to him, he could hear it. 

“My name is,” Aleks started, his voice sounding far off and distant, but the desperation and frustration still present. He ran a hand through his thick brown hair, letting out a quiet sigh. 

“My name is,” another pause. Aleks began tapping the floor impatiently with the tiny stump of a pencil in his hand. 

James could only watch quietly from afar. He wanted to comfort Aleks, but from what he could see this, this was not something that needed comforting. 

This was frightening. 

“Aleks,” he finally mumbled sadly, and James could feel his own chest tighten at the sniffle Aleks let out as he tried to hold back tears. 

“My name is Aleks,” at this, Aleks finally started scribbling in the notebook again, his hands working tirelessly against the paper. 

James swallowed hard, reaching out quietly for one of the papers behind Aleks. 

He knew what he was going to see written on each and every one of those papers, but he desperately hoped deep down that it wouldn’t be it. 

Aleks was far too caught up in his own writing that he didn’t hear the floorboards creaking under James’s knees. 

He didn’t even feel the wind ghosting against his back as James picked up on of the papers. 

When he picked it up, he felt his stomach clench and his chest tighten. 

_My name is Aleksandr Marchant._

_My birthday is September 1st, 1992._

_I am 29 years old._

After these few messy words, there were hard scratches against the paper on the lines beneath them as though Aleks had gotten frustrated with something. 

What he was seeing were the impatient scribblings of a man who had forgotten something very important – something that was just on the very tip of his tongue. 

Something he knew he should never forget. 

_My best friend is James Wilson._

_I love him._

James put the paper down. 

He picked up another – the same things were written on it. 

Another – the same. 

Another. 

Another. 

Another.

James let his hand fall to his side, letting each of the papers drop to the ground soundlessly beside him. 

He felt panic rising impossibly fast inside him. 

He knew what all these papers meant, he knew, but he didn’t want to believe what was happening. 

Aleks was forgetting. 

He reached out for Aleks’s frantically moving shoulder, hesitating – his hand only an inch away from resting on his slight shoulder – before finally grabbing him to stop his movements. 

Aleks jumped, but he didn’t turn around. He just sat there, completely still as he looked down at the notebook in front of him. The light of the moon shone bright on his back, making him look even thinner than he had been before. 

“Aleks.” James said. 

He finally turned around at this. 

The eye had gotten worse. 

Even in the dark of the room with only the natural light of the moon as his guide, James could see that it was worse. The angry red veins had started migrating from his eye and toward the other one, climbing all over his pale face. 

James tried to hold down the panic that threatened to surface. There were more pressing things at hand here, even more pressing than Luke that was no doubt hot on their trail and the eye that was clearly getting worse and worse by the day. 

“Why are you writing all this down?”

Aleks swallowed hard. 

“Aleks-”

“I’m,” Aleks started, looking around the room as if the bare walls held some kind of answer. “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know, Aleks?” 

Aleks shook his head, looking everywhere in the room but at James. His throat seemed to be working tirelessly around words that he couldn’t quite get out, or rather, didn’t want to get out. 

“You’re scaring me, Aleks. Why are you writing these things?” James couldn’t help his voice from rising. Both the fear and the frustration were eating away at him bit by slow bit – he couldn’t handle it anymore. 

Aleks swallowed hard. 

James reached over and grabbed him by his shoulders, getting close enough so that they were only inches apart. “Tell me!” 

Aleks looked at him, panic-stricken. He tried to shake James’s grip, but he wouldn’t let go of him. When he knew James wouldn’t let go unless he said something, he shouted out the three words that James had been hearing from him almost daily. “I don’t know!” 

James grit his teeth. He let go of Aleks’s shoulders so as not to hurt him before standing up and pacing around the room. 

He stopped suddenly, shaking his head and sitting back down on his knees in front of Aleks who had begun shaking like a leaf. 

“What’s your name?”

Aleks furrowed his brows, but his eyes betrayed him as they were wide with panic. “What are you talking about?”

“Tell me your name,” James shouted. “It’s a simple fucking question, so answer me.”

Aleks was quiet for a second, and what James saw next made his heart beat painfully fast. 

Aleks looked down at the notebook sitting in front of him. 

“My name is Aleksandr Marchant.”

James’s eyes widened. He shook his head as he kneeled back on his legs, scrubbing a hand through his overgrown beard. 

“My birthday is-”

James slapped the notebook out of Aleks’s hand. It skid across the floor, the scraping of it loud in the confines of the quiet office. 

Aleks only stared down at his empty hands, expressionless. 

Before he could react, James scattered all the papers around him so they were nowhere in reach. 

“What’s my name?”

Aleks swallowed hard again, and James could hear his dry throat clicking with it. 

James couldn’t help the hurt he was feeling. 

“You’re my best friend, you’re-”

“My name, Aleks,” James said quietly. “What’s my name? It isn’t a hard question.”

When Aleks saw the tears brimming along Aleks’s lids, he couldn’t help the way his heart clenched painfully tight. He thought he was feeling hurt, but the hurt in Aleks’s eyes showed that whatever Aleks was feeling was far worse. 

Aleks wasn’t trying to be like this, and James knew it. He regretted being so angry with him over something he couldn’t control, but it frustrated James that Aleks didn’t trust him enough to tell him what was going on in his head. 

“Aleks-” James reached over to him, but Aleks carefully evaded his hand. 

Aleks shook his head, the tears finally spilling over. 

“I love you,” Aleks said through a sob. “I know that I love you.”

“Then what’s my name? If you love me, then you should know my name.”

Aleks ran a shaking hand through his dirty hair, trying his best to remember. 

When it finally came to him, James saw Aleks grow still, another small sob breaching his lips despite the relief flooding through him.

“James, your name is James.”

James clenched his fists. The range of emotions he was feeling were hard to express. He felt hurt, anger, fear, sadness – nothing could express how he felt at this very moment. 

The world had dealt him a bad hand to begin with, and now things were getting worse. 

“Aleks, what’s happening?” 

Aleks sobbed even harder, covering his face with both of his hands. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he repeated these words like a prayer. 

James hadn’t realized the tears tracking down his own face until he saw the back of his hands, both stained with hot tears, making him shiver against the bitterly cold air. 

James wrapped both of his arms around Aleks’s trembling shoulders, feeling a pang in his chest when Aleks wrapped his own around him, pressing his head deep into his shoulder. 

James thought Aleks was finished talking about what was happening, but he was surprised when he began talking again, voice thick with tears. 

“What’s happening to me?”

James didn’t answer – he couldn’t. Both the tears cloying at the back of his throat and his lack of an answer keeping him from saying anything in response. 

“I’m so scared,” Aleks cried, and James could feel his hot tears sinking throat the thick fabric of his sweater. 

“I’m forgetting everything. Why am I forgetting everything?” Aleks fingers dug into the material of James’s sweater, squeezing the threadbare fabric until it was almost ripping beneath his overgrown fingernails. 

“I don’t know,” James finally said through his own tears. “I don’t know, but I’m going to fix you. I promise, I’ll fix this.”

“I don’t want to forget you.” 

James tightened his arms around Aleks’s slight frame, “I won’t let that happen.” James tried to fight back the voice telling him that there was nothing he could do now. 

This was bad. 

“I promise, I’ll fix this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((´д｀))
> 
> I know this chapter was a little short, not word count wise, but not a lot really happened as far as plot goes. The next three chapters are all going to be quite heavy and busy, and I needed this chapter to give you guys an idea of what's going on with Aleks and also to break up the quick pace we've been going at. 
> 
> I think the next three chapters are also going to be crazy long - so get ready! 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! <3


	20. Trust the Flattering Truth of Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> _He promised himself that when he saw Jordan’s face again, he would make sure to spit in it._  
> 

It wasn’t an easy feeling to describe. 

His memory wasn’t going, at least not the way one would expect it to go. It was more like each memory was changing places rapidly, moving themselves to the far ends of his mind that he couldn’t quite reach on his own. He could only skim the surface of these memories, just barely giving him a taste of what he once knew and held dear. 

He knew these memories were there, taunting him endlessly, and he couldn’t reach them no matter how hard he tried. It was the worst torture he had ever endured – and he knew torture more than anyone else. 

He wasn’t losing them all at once either, no, that would be too generous. Instead he was losing them slowly, each important detail that he tried to remember left him, leaving nothing but static in its wake. 

Memories that belonged together were separated, his thoughts were scattered all over the place – sometimes unreachable and sometimes just within his grasp. When he reached out to them, his hand slipped straight through.

If he ever did happen to reach one, it would crumble and leave nothing but a scattered mess that was almost impossible to make sense of, and if, perchance, he did begin piecing it together, it would blow away in the wind almost immediately after. 

It was pointless now, however, as they were all becoming completely unreachable. 

Important memories would flit across his mind briefly, cruel in allowing him brief glimpses of the things that had once meant the world to him. Now they were just a flicker in the back of his mind. A candle that was only moments from being blown out. 

Blown out by what, however, he did not know. 

What made things even more terrible for him was the fact that his infection made him want to sleep, and that in and off itself wasn’t an issue. The issue he took with sleep was the fact that every time he chose to sleep, he would wake up with fewer and fewer memories. 

He didn’t think he could ever come up with the words to describe what he was feeling. He knew he was supposed to remember these things, he knew they were things he considered important, but they floated ahead of him like a mist, slowly eking out of existence until he could no longer ever hope to grasp them again.

He was dying. 

He knew it. 

He knew that but he still held on to what he could see in front of him, he still hung onto those words that would soon enter the endless pit that all his other memories entered. 

“I’ll fix this.” 

The man who said those words, the man whose name now evaded him, was very important to him. He was the only thing he had left, he knew that, and he knew that he must be very important to him, and vice versa. 

He took care of him, dressed the infection in his eye, comforted him with promises, and was patient with him as he got worse. Even though his memories were leaving him, he knew that what he felt toward this man was affection. It was why his own heart hurt and tears sprung to his eyes when James spoke to him with such love and care and he couldn’t remember anything about him. 

Only a man who truly loved him would stay with him through all this. He knew that, his entire being knew that. 

_James._

That was his name.

When his memories would choose to slip back in for a brief moment, overwhelming him with pictures that he couldn’t possibly process all at once, he would see James more often than anything. 

James was in almost all of his memories – at least his most cherished ones – the ones he had been desperately reaching out to. 

He looked different than he did now in a lot of these memories – his hair was jet black in many of his memories, the greying sideburns no longer present and the crow’s feet he now sported were non-existent. He was clean too, his beard properly trimmed and his hair neatly tucked into a black beanie. 

He smiled and laughed a lot in these older memories. 

Aleks quite liked that smile, and he particularly loved his raspy, breathless laugh when he thought something was funny. There were a lot of things he loved about this man, he knew that even without many of his memories to support it, but as they began to fade, this was the only thing he could hold onto. 

When he felt these memories in particular beginning to fade away permanently, it was by far one of the worst things he had ever experienced. He would have taken any physical pains over this. He would have taken another hundred years of torture and experimentation over something so cruel. 

When he was in the hospital – from what little he could remember of it – he had used his memories of his family and friends to cope with it. Now even these precious memories, the only things he could hold onto through his suffering, were beginning to leave him. 

This was a far worse fate than death.

As his eyes started closing of their own volition, he fell asleep holding onto the very few memories he had left, hoping that they would remain when he woke again.

\-----

“I remember seeing you for the first time,” Aleks said quietly from where he lay on the too small cot beside James. 

“Yeah?” 

“I was with,” Aleks stopped again, and James could see the frustration tearing through him as he tried to dig these memories out of the dredge that had become his mind. He looked exhausted, large dark circles painting the soft, pale skin under his brown doe eyes. It was obvious to James that he spent a lot of his waking moments trying to remember these small events. 

James wanted to fill him in, but he waited quietly for Aleks to try to conjure up the memory on his own. One of his hands absently rubbed soothing circles into Aleks’s bony back, trying to soothe the pain that was ripping through his lithe body. He was thinner now, almost as thin as he had been when James had taken him from the hospital so many months ago. 

Aleks looked up at him questioningly, and James took this as his queue to tell him. 

"Sly,” James said. “You always called him by his real name though; Eddie. You were the only one who called him Eddie.”

“Eddie,” Aleks said quietly, his eyelids fluttering against his skin and he tried his best to keep them open. “I was with Eddie, and you were standing alone looking at something.” Aleks stopped, “or, no,” Aleks shook his head. “You were talking to someone.” 

“Yeah,” James said. “I was talking to Jordan. I still remember that day – I still remember meeting you.” 

Aleks smiled fondly, but the crease in his brow didn’t go unnoticed by James. There were large chunks of his memory that he was missing, and he was losing more and more each time he fell asleep. 

As the infection progressed, so did his memory loss. 

James gently pressed his thumb to the crease between his brows, trying to smooth the wrinkle out with the pad of his thumb. “You’ll get wrinkles,” James said. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever have to worry about that,” Aleks said, his eyes shut, partly out of exhaustion and partly to avoid showing James the tears building in his eyes again. 

James knew though, he knew what Aleks was trying to tell him. 

“I’ll make things better,” James said. “I promise.” 

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“I’ll keep this one,” James said. 

Aleks mumbled something to Aleks, but he couldn’t quite make it out. Aleks was losing his battle with sleep. 

He watched quietly as Aleks’s eyes slipped closed once again. As it stood now, Aleks was sleeping for 15 hours a day, and when he wasn’t sleeping, he was tired. 

To make matters worse, every time Aleks awoke, less and less of his memory remained. 

The look he gave James every time he opened his eyes made him feel like falling apart. The look he gave him made his heart clench painfully hard and his eyes sting with tears each and every time. 

He looked at James like he was a stranger, someone he couldn’t trust. Someone he didn’t know. 

James smiled sadly at Aleks mumbling nonsense words in his sleep, all the while brushing loose threads of dark hair behind his ears. 

James grabbed the blankets when Aleks shivered, pulling them up until they were bunched up beneath both of their chins. 

James hoped that the storm would end soon – he needed to get Aleks help, and he needed to do it soon. 

\-----

On the fourth day, the storm came to a sudden and unexpected end. 

James awoke at sunrise on the morning it ended, staring blankly at an icicle that hung from the gutters of the supermarket. Droplets of water were falling from its tip endlessly – even in morning the sky was noticeably warmer than the past several days. He could feel the sun cutting through the dirty window and painting his skin, heating him up after being cold for so long. 

Aleks was at his side, still sound asleep. 

He was already worse. 

From the ashy pallor of his pale skin to his wheezy, ragged breaths, James knew that he didn’t have much longer until they infection reached his heart. As it stood, based on the rapid memory loss, the infection had already reached his brain and done considerable damage. 

They needed penicillin – anything stronger than the weak over-the-counter antibiotics that Aleks had been using. 

He stood from the cot quickly, careful not to wake Aleks as he gathered their things to leave. 

It didn’t take him long as they had very little supplies since their run-in with the bandits. The only thing they carried on them at this point were guns and many tattered old blankets and ragged animal furs. 

When their horse was properly packed, he pulled free a map from one of the various tourist stands inside the supermarket and opened it wide, scanning the page for the “you are here” tag on the page. When he finally found it, finger tapping the page to keep his place on the small-print map, he could see that they were right on the very edge of Wyoming, much farther west than James had assumed. 

This was good for them. There were good hospitals in Idaho where he was certain he could find penicillin to possibly stave off or hopefully completely rid Aleks of his infection. He was certain, however, that based on the strangeness of the infection, it wouldn’t be so easily neutralized. 

He could only hope that it would hold it off and keep it from progressing any further than it already was. 

They were lucky, however, as Washington also held a rather large CDC. 

It was, by no means, of the same grandeur and complexity of the official CDC in Georgia, but it still stood that it was one of the biggest and could still harbor clues as to what was going on with Aleks.

He hated the idea of having to take Aleks to these places again after he had been so traumatized by them, but they had no choice now. Aleks was dying, and their only hope would probably rest with the CDC.

Canada could wait, it certainly wasn’t going anywhere. As it stood, in the condition he was in, Aleks wouldn’t be let across the border no matter how much pleading or threatening James did. 

Killing the hordes of soldiers that stood all along the border would be near impossible in their state, so that was entirely out of the question. 

He could only hope that Aleks would hold out long enough for them to get to a hospital across the Idaho border to get stronger medicine. 

Their biggest problem, however, was that Kain and Luke had probably been anticipating these moves. They knew Aleks was sick, and they also knew how James’s mind worked when he was put in danger. 

\-----

The path was a long and dangerous one, and after their run in with the bandits from the north he didn’t want to take anymore chances. 

He made sure to look over his shoulders every few minutes, and also controlled the sound that their stolen horse made as it trampled the wet leaves littering the soft ground. He needed to be sure to look everywhere as well as listen in close to everything that was going on around him. Even the smallest snap of a branch could mean he was being followed. 

Not only would bandits of the north be after them now, but Kain and Luke had no doubt sent scouts in their direction. Or, if they were even unluckier, Kain and Luke themselves would show their faces to them. 

If this was the case, they wouldn’t be able to escape their grasp. In their current position, there wasn’t very much him and Aleks could do. 

James rode fast, thankful for the speed at which the steed ran. The horse was far faster than Ein had been and would cut down the time it would take to get to the hospital significantly. They were closing in on the hospital, that much he could tell from how beaten the forest path became at this point on. 

This worried him for a number of reasons. 

Some of the tracks looked fresh. 

It could very easily just mean that a small group of bandits just happened to be passing through, but it could also mean that Luke and Kain’s scouts were headed their way, or rather, had already headed their way and were waiting for them up ahead.

Now he was facing a huge dilemma. 

Let Aleks go untreated and hope that he could hold on until they got to Washington, or chance the hospital and hope that these were just tracks from other bandits.

It didn’t take him long to decide, not because he wanted to decide so quickly but because he was forced to think fast.

James barely had time to process his tirelessly working thoughts when a bolt from a crossbow dug itself into the tree only inches away from his face. It startled him so much that he remained still moments after it hit, staring straight at the bolt that was now buried deep into the dying tree beside him. He turned and saw no one after a few seconds of hesitation, but James was more than smart enough to know better than to stop when he saw the green ribbon tied tight around the end of the bolt billowing in the wind beside his face. 

Finally, after what had just happened processed itself in his mind, he took off at a run. He made sure to weave around to avoid making himself an easy target as he headed directly toward the large hospital, standing out like a beacon against the steadily greying sky. 

It was difficult holding onto Aleks and running at the same time, but he knew he didn’t have a choice in the matter. Aleks was his number one priority right now – nothing else mattered to him but Aleks’s welfare. 

His nerves calmed some, however, when he realized that they weren’t being shot at any longer. These men weren’t trying to kill them – they were only trying to warn them that they were there and they knew where they were headed. 

It was unfair though, just as they were about to get into the hospital and find proper medication for Aleks, Kain and Luke had somehow gotten so close without him noticing. 

Except it wasn’t them, not really – not yet. 

James had figured this out almost immediately after the clumsily shot bolt narrowly missed his head.

It was a group of scouts that Kain and Luke had sent out to look for them, that much was very obvious to him now. 

Kain and Luke had precise aim, they were smart, and most of all they wouldn’t have shot the bolt at them to begin with. They also, most definitely, wouldn’t have allowed anyone else to shoot at the two of them. They made it very clear – at least from what he understood of what the doctor said to him – that they wanted the two of them captured alive, and shooting an arrow so close to the head of the man they were trying to capture alive – highly unlikely. 

These men were cocky and overconfident as well, something Kain and Luke were not. 

This would be relatively harmless if not for the fact that they were willing to take so many chances just to prove a point. James could easily have moved just as they shot their crossbow at him, and that would have been the end of him right there. These people were willing to take chances with them. 

The biggest problem with these scouts, however, was that Kain and Luke would obviously know when they returned that he and Aleks were on their way to the CDC. If they were stopping at a hospital in Idaho, then they would make their way to the CDC from there. It wouldn’t be that hard for them to figure out their course of action from this point on. 

Anyone could have guessed that.

James knew, however, that one of the scouts was already on their way back to Kain and Luke to let them know that they had spotted James – they had no doubt been following them for quite some time. This, however, would still give him and Aleks quite a bit of time to get into the hospital, back out, and allow them to get a head start toward Washington. 

First, however, he needed to deal with the remaining scouts. 

The last thing he wanted were these men, clumsy, dangerous, and overconfident, following him and Aleks all the way to Washington. 

Instead of running away and trying to hide his place from the scouts, he ran directly to the hospital entrance, busting in the doors with his steed without a moment of hesitation. As it stood, there wasn’t much left of the doors to begin with, and he didn’t want to spend another second out in the open with these people following them. 

These people didn’t want to kill him, they were just in place here to make sure he didn’t move out of sight or do something unexpected before Kain and Luke could arrive and surround him and Aleks. 

He and Aleks were practically invincible at this point in time, but that wouldn’t stop these people from trying to completely disable them. They only needed their blood for experiments, everything else was fair game according to them. He knew that was what they were thinking, so running or getting caught were no longer things they could chance. 

Though the worry was already eating away at him impatiently, he still ran headlong into the hospital. There was only one thing he could do about the people following them.

Immediately upon coming across a set of stairs, however, he came across a problem. The steed that he had stolen, unlike Ein, refused to go up or down any steps. 

He tried several times, but knowing that he and Aleks had very little time to work with, he gave up and turned to make his way down the adjacent hall. 

James cursed to himself as they ran down a long, blood spattered hallway. 

Hospitals were always the worst places because of what had happened when the virus had first broken out among the general population. Unsuspecting doctors and nurses had been slaughtered by the people who had been infected, and if the larkspur didn’t get them first, soldiers came in and killed them all – including any and all patients both young and old – In their attempt to stop the rapid transmission of the infection.

It had worked quite well in many cases, such as this one as there were no larkspur in sight, but many innocent people had been murdered in cold blood to do so, and half the population was still decimated despite their cruel efforts to stop it from spreading. The infection moved too fast for anyone to make any progress with quelling it. 

It wasn’t a good time, by any means. 

He had long since gotten used to the sound of old bones crunching under his feet or his horses’ hooves, but since the thaw had happened the unkempt floors in the hospital were wet. The bones snapped softly or only bent beneath him as they had sopped up some of the water. It was like stepping onto cartilage. 

He could hear Luke and Kain’s soldiers approaching outside the building, their horses’ hooves battering the ground as they came to a stop, probably deciding on whether or not it was a good idea to pursue him. 

Outside they had the advantage, but inside where James could hide and make use of his surroundings, they were at the disadvantage despite their numbers. 

James could only hope that they were as bad at making decisions as they were at shooting a crossbow and taking orders. 

Before he could give them a chance to make up their minds, James bit his bottom lip and jumped down from the steed and onto the slippery floor. He carefully pulled Aleks down from its back and held him up in his arms, not even bothering to try to wake him. Even after everything that had happened he didn’t wake, still in a deep slumber much like the one he was in when they had left the bandit camp north of Kain’s settlement. He knew nothing could wake him but himself, at this point.

He kicked the steed in the haunches after they were at a safe distance, causing it to take off at a run down the opposite hall and hopefully distract some of the scouts if they heard it. He hated to give up the horse they had just gotten, but if they were lucky, they could snag one of the horses’ from the scouts if they didn’t run off out of fright. 

He didn’t waste any time running up the steps after sending the horse away, hoping that he could find a large dispensary with the right kind of medicine in it. He would have looked at the map of the large hospital, but he knew that he didn’t have time to do it. And, based on the graphic state of the walls, it wouldn’t be legible anymore. It was hard enough to begin with not working with a map, but nightfall was making it almost impossible. 

He could only hope the scouts were having the same problem as he was. 

He hissed when his foot slid into something he didn’t quite want to picture, and he soundlessly pulled it free and walked up to the third floor while scraping the bottom of the foot against the steps. He didn’t want to leave behind any evidence. 

He had been planning on going all the way to the top, but when he heard the voices of the scouts and saw their flashlight beams slicing through the dark, night air like knives, he knew he wouldn’t have time to get there. 

The only thing that was preventing this from turning sour was the fact that they had decided to go on foot as opposed to on their horses. 

A smart move on their part, but dumb in that it gave James another advantage. 

Sure, they had numbers, but he was able to hide when they weren’t. They were looking for him and their flashlights more than gave away their positions to him. They were also incredibly loud – both their voices and their heavy footfalls gave them away to James. 

James still managed to silently make his way to the fourth floor, but he didn’t dare chance another flight of them. If they decided to run or if they flashed their lights in just the right direction, he would be found. 

Just as that thought had crossed his mind, he heard the voices becoming louder and the footfalls getting quicker and quicker, as if on cue. 

Careful not to drag his feet or slam them down too hard on the ceramic tiles, he ran down the left wing of the hospital as fast as he could and into one of the operating theatres, almost knocking over a table full of equipment in the process. 

A large room like this wasn’t ideal for him given that there were so many scouts on his tail, but it would have to make do for the time being. 

He was worried that somehow they had heard him or seen him, but as he heard other steps going up the stairs and some going down, he smirked to himself. 

They were splitting up, another poor idea. 

As James had hoped, these weren’t Kain or Luke’s brightest men. They were completely blinded by their own overconfidence in their abilities. They were also clearly desperate to impress both Kain and Luke, at the expense of looking a fool and making daring attempts that Kain and Luke normally would have frowned upon. 

Instead of making any brazen moves, despite how much of a rush he was in, he waited in silence for the one remaining scout on his floor to come near. 

He knew it wouldn’t be long before the man came to him as the OR was quite naturally the first place you would look based on its size and where it was place at the end of the long hallway. 

James put Aleks down onto the floor beside him, being sure to keep him out of the moonlight so if something bad were to happen, they might miss him completely. They all seemed to be quite foolish, after all. 

It didn’t take long for the footsteps – growing slower and slower the closer they got – to reach him in the OR. 

Then they stopped dead. 

James held his breath, unsheathed knife in hand, as he waited for the door to creak open. 

James had been in similar positions before, both with soldiers and bandits alike, but never had he been in one with such circumstances. When bandits and soldiers were coming after him, often they were after him for whatever weapons or food he carried on him, or because he had done something bad to one of their own. This time they were after him and Aleks – just for them – not for food, weapons, or anything but their blood. 

He wasn’t entirely sure how to face people that wanted this. He wasn’t sure how much they knew about him and Aleks, so he wasn’t sure just how desperate these people were to get them to Kain and Luke. 

His hands were sweating now as he waited, painstakingly, gripping the knife until his knuckles grew tired and white. He needed to make this count because if the man had a chance to shout or make any kind of sound, his position would be given away. He didn’t think he could fight off seven other men by himself, especially in a room so big and with so little place to hide. 

The door began to slowly creak open. 

James readied himself, waiting for the ethereal blue light of the moon to strike the scout as he hid in the shadow of it. 

James was strong, that he knew himself, but he was not the quickest nor the fastest thinking individual. His reaction time was slower than most, and his recklessness was a mixed blessing depending on the situation – there was virtually no middle ground with him. It was true that what he lacked in these areas he made up in strength and perseverance, but sometimes strength and perseverance just didn’t cut it. 

It really didn’t cut it here. 

The man was smart, far smarter than James had anticipated, and instead of continuing on with slowly opening the door, he swung it wide, quickly and efficiently knocking James to the ground with a loud thump. 

This man knew that James would try to get the jump on him from the other side of the door, and he had quickly and effectively stopped him from getting the upper hand. 

James had been foolish. 

He had been foolish to think that all of the scouts were idiots solely because of the actions of one. 

This is where it suddenly dawned on him, although a little too late into the game to make use of it. 

Kain knew that James was an over thinker at the worst of times and that he placed no trust in other people’s abilities to be good soldiers. Kain knew that James would think these men idiots if they shot at him recklessly and made themselves seem loud and obnoxious. 

James, alternatively, should have known that Kain and Luke were not dumb enough to send idiot scouts on such an important mission. 

These were their very best soldiers. 

Kain, once again, was several steps ahead of him. 

\-----

“Where do you think they went?” Luke asked, absently twisting a tuft of his horses’ thick mane between his dirty, gun powder stained fingers.

“West,” Kain said before Jordan could pipe up. 

“Why wouldn’t he just keep north?”

When Kain didn’t say anything, Jordan nodded his head and explained to Luke what why they all believed they had went west from the destroyed and disease-ridden bandit encampment. 

“Aleks is sick,” Jordan said. “I know your doctors said that the infection would take longer to progress, but he was wrong about it.”

Luke rested the side of his head on his hand, indicating that he was waiting for Aleks to go on. 

“The night before James found out about our plan, Aleks left in the middle of the night.”

“And?”

“He hadn’t done that even once, and he was never a sleepwalker.”

Luke sighed, “Ok?”

“Instead of stopping him, I let him go,” Jordan said. “I watched him closely, and I noticed that he was acting funny. Actually, right from the start he was more tired and weary than what could be considered normal, but I originally passed it off on the fact that he and James had been on the run for so long. ”

Luke laughed, “you act like you’re so worried about them and all heartbroken for their situation and yet you let him walk out into your cesspool of a camp so late at night knowing that James is a possessive maniac? Ok, yeah, you’re a real good friend.” 

Jordan glared. 

“Luke,” Kain started. 

“Ok, ok, really,” Luke said. “Go on, I wasn’t kidding about what I said though, but go on.”

Jordan sighed, “James left and when he came back with him, James was freaking out-” 

“Shock of shocks,” Luke said with raised eyebrows. 

“- Aleks just kept dodging the question and telling him that he was fine, but he clearly wasn’t. The next day, right before they left, Aleks had a patch covering one of his eyes and he looked pale and sickly.” 

“Huh,” Luke said. “The doctors told me it would start with his old wounds that he got when the outbreak happened. Do you know if he had any issues with that?”

“No,” Jordan said. “I feel like James would have mentioned it to me at some point. He actually trusted me before he found out what we were doing from the doctor, you know.” 

Luke sighed, “so that’s why you think he went west” 

Kain nodded to him, “I’m almost positive, too.”

“For now,” Luke started, “let’s send out scouts in every direction. It’s a little difficult to anticipate his movements right now.” 

Luke let out a humourless laugh as he looked up at the larkspur that had now grown far above the jade treeline. They hadn’t even been able to get close to the camp, and they knew who had done it as soon as they had seen it from a distance.

“Call the doctor up front,” Luke said behind his shoulder after staring up at the waving larkspur for some time. 

He sat up straight in his saddle, cracking his back with a groan as he did so. 

“He’s not going to know much,” Kain said. “He was still in residence when the outbreak started.” 

Luke shrugged, “well, he knows more than we do, right?”

Kain sighed as their camp doctor trotted up beside them, his eyes shifting carefully between the three of them. Since James had made his escape, he had been acting as though he would be killed at any moment for giving away their plan – whether it be by James or by them, he wasn’t entirely sure. 

“Yes?” The man asked, his head tucked lower than normal. 

Luke motioned for Jordan to tell him the story. 

“James came to you saying he had an infection, right?”

The man nodded, less intimidated by Jordan who was known to be quite forgiving even with the worst of people. 

“I didn’t manage to actually see Aleks’s eye,” Jordan said. “but I did know that he was acting strange before that – he was sleepwalking.” Jordan then shook his head, “well, he was awake, but it was like he wasn’t himself anymore. He was in a sort of daze.” 

The doctor stared down at his hands that were resting carefully on his lap. 

“Do you know what that could possibly mean? An eye infection and strange behaviour” 

The doctor shook his head while biting his bottom lip, “it doesn’t sound like anything I’d heard of, it just sounds like a regular fungal infection – albeit a bad one – to me.” 

Luke sighed. 

“Sorry, but the larkspur disease wasn’t even a thing before all the hospitals shut down,” the man shrugged. “All I know is generally how the infection spreads through the human body, and even my knowledge of that is limited to word of mouth. I’ve never even seen it happen with my own eyes. I’ve only seen the after or what happened right before.” 

“So we don’t even know what’s going on with Aleks, great,” Luke said. “Glad James killed those doctors because I would have finished them off myself right about now for being so stupid. Idiots.”

The doctor flinched. 

Luke waved him off with a roll of his eyes, “ok, we’re done with you for now.” 

The man bowed his head and turned to leave, taking his place with the men that stood some distance behind them. 

“The doctors told me that after 2 weeks out of the hospital without medication the infection would start to set in. Instead of two weeks, it took months for that to happen. On top of all that, the infection didn’t start with his old wounds, but with his eye.”

Kain slowly scrubbed a hand through his hair. 

“Do we have any idea of what’s happening here?”

Kain shrugged, “you know just about as much as I do, at this point.” 

“If you’re really sure he’s going north, then let’s send our best,” Luke said. “If I’m thinking anything like he’s thinking right now, he knows that he won’t get across the border with Aleks in the shape he’s probably in now.” 

“I have a better idea,” Jordan piped in.

\-----

His nose – that had already been broken and reset just recently – was most likely broken again based on how hard the door had hit him as well as by the obscene amount of blood pouring from it. It made his head spin and sent him staggering, completely off balance. Before he even had a chance to regain his footing or think about trying to clear his head, the man who had swung the door open punched him in the gut, causing him to crumple to his knees and gag from the sheer force. 

The man laughed at James’s fallen form before shouting, “he’s here,” to the other men. 

James was well and truly trapped now, and the man standing above him smiled down at him as if he knew that as well. He had even spotted Aleks who he had propped up against the wall, unconscious.

James, however, had recklessness on his side this time. Normally his actions and one track-mindedness got him into mountains of trouble, but this time it served him well. 

He picked up the gun he had laid down next to Aleks and stabbed the man with the makeshift bayonet taped around the barrel of the gun. He could feel the blade glance off of the man’s spine, slipping past the bone and cartilage and then coming through the other side like a hot knife through butter. 

Never did he think he would be thankful for a poor duct tape job. 

The man groaned and reached his hands down to where the knife stuck out of the centre of his stomach. He collapsed to the ground on his front, clutching at the blade weakly. 

James heard the footsteps growing closer, and just in time he slammed the doors to the OR shut, pressing his back up against them to hold them closed as two men barrelled into the door with all their weight. 

He couldn’t hold the door closed for a very long time, however, and now that he was missing a thumb he definitely couldn’t fight off two different people, let alone seven of Kain and Luke’s best soldiers. 

Even though he had his gun he would only be able to take a few out as they came at him, and knowing now that these men were not stupid and also had a decent amount of protection on them, there was a possibility that he wouldn’t even manage to take one down. 

James looked down at the man lying dead on the ground, blood dribbling from his mouth in twin rivulets. On his person, James could see that he had a Taser gun, a pistol in his pocket, and what looked to be several canisters of tear gas. 

These people wouldn’t run straight in – all they needed was a small space and they would get him and Aleks. 

He had trapped himself – once again he made the wrong call.

James nudged at Aleks’s leg, hoping that somehow this would wake Aleks despite the fact that he hadn’t woken up through anything as of yet. 

“Aleks,” James shouted. There was no point in keeping his voice low anymore, these men knew the both of them were hiding in there after the first scout gave them away. He kept shouting the name, kicking at his foot to try to wake him. He needed Aleks to leave here. If Aleks could get away then it would be fine, he would be fine. 

Miracles, however, didn’t happen. Aleks did not wake, and now that more men were pushing at the door, he knew he couldn’t hold it for any longer under their combined weight. 

He would fight as best as he could, that was all he could do now. 

He just hoped that at the very least, if they both got caught, Aleks would finally get the proper treatment that he now desperately needed. 

That was all he wanted. All he cared about was Aleks’s health and safety, he couldn’t possibly care less about his own self. 

He had made up his mind. 

James pushed himself off of the door suddenly, letting the two men at the front stumble through, leaving the other six standing there in confusion. 

He didn’t know where the seventh had gone – the one he had definitely heard running after his horse – but there was no time to focus on small details. 

Without a second of hesitation, James shot three of the soldiers that were standing there gaping before he made an attempt at the two that had fallen over. He still had a small bit of time to deal with them, but the ones who were still standing, he did not. 

He had killed three and hurt one, but before he could do anymore he was taken down to the ground by the two others that hadn’t been hurt in the mess. 

He knew they had orders not to kill him, so he lashed out as much as he could in his attempt to escape them. 

He leaned over and bit into the man’s arm when he tried to tie a rope around his forearms, doing a good deal of damage as the man cursed and stood up, holding onto the wound in his arm. 

“Just like a fucking dog,” the man spat, kicking James in the head and causing his head to start spinning again, only seconds after it had settled down some from being knocked around by the heavy doors. His head had taken a great deal of damage in the past few days, that was for certain. 

James, however, continued to fight despite knowing the consequences. Even though he knew their situation was impossible now, he would never forgive himself if he didn’t try his very best to escape them given any little chance that he had to do so. 

He promised himself that when he saw Jordan’s face again, he would make sure to spit in it. 

As he fought, resigning himself to his fate, he heard the door behind the soldier bust open again, followed by three quick shots, not even giving the men time to react. 

It didn’t even give James time to react. 

As the man in front of him fell to the ground, he half expected that it had been Aleks who had somehow miraculously woken up from his comatose state. 

What he hadn’t expected was to be met with long, blonde hair and a pair of cracked glasses. 

It was Seamus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to split this chapter into two separate parts as it was 12,000 words in total and I felt as though that would be a little too much to take in all at once. 
> 
> I will be posting the next part in 30ish minutes. \\('o')/
> 
> As always, thank you for the comments and the kudos, they really mean a lot to me and they keep me working quickly and efficiently!! ╰(✿´⌣`✿)╯♡


	21. There Rust, and Let Me Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> _“James, this is bad,” Seamus said. “This is really bad.”_  
> 

James sat up, staring at him incredulously as he quickly holstered his gun. He couldn’t even say anything to him, he could only stare in confusion. 

“What the hell,” Seamus said as he got closer. “James?” 

James could only nod his head. 

“I’m,” Seamus was quiet for a minute as he worked through the – no doubt – dozens of questions running through his mind at an alarming rate. “How and why?” 

James ignored these questions for now, however, and nodded toward Aleks who laid motionless on the cold floor, “Aleks.”

Seamus looked annoyed briefly, but when James pointed over his shoulder he turned. 

Seamus gaped for a second, didn’t even say anything to him as he crouched down in front of Aleks’s comatose form. He lifted his chin to better look at his face in the dark of the room. When he seemed satisfied with this he let Aleks’s head drop back against his chest. 

He rocked back on his heels as he looked down at Aleks. 

“It’s really him,” Seamus chuffed humourlessly. “No fucking way.” 

James finally managed to stand up, though he remained quiet. He didn’t want to say much to Seamus, he still had no idea where they stood since Seamus left. 

He did say the next time he saw James he would kill him, after all. They hadn’t left on good terms, and there was a good reason for that. 

“Where did you find him?” Seamus asked over his shoulder. 

“Luke had him,” James said simply. 

Seamus was quiet at this, but James could see by the moonlight glancing off of his face show the expression there. He looked sad, unbelieving, and most of all, guilty. 

“The fact alone that he was alive all this time should be more than enough to tell you that I wasn’t crazy or that I’m lying to you right now,” James said. 

“Did I say anything about you being crazy or lying?” 

“You’ve said it before, and the look on your face tells me everything I need to know.” 

Seamus chuckled, “good at reading expressions when it’s convenient to you, huh?”

James didn’t respond as Seamus finally stood from where he was crouched in front of Aleks, face to face now with James. Though he was shorter in stature, his presence always felt bigger than James’s own. 

Though he had wanted to avoid arguing with Seamus, it was becoming clear to him now that Seamus still held things against him. He couldn’t blame Seamus, but he felt indignant about his attitude toward him despite knowing how Seamus must feel. 

“I was right all along, and you’re still going to act like this?” 

Seamus laughed and countered him with, “you got all those people killed, and you’re still going to act like this?”

James ground his teeth together. 

“I thought you went to Stefani’s camp to farm and live peacefully, but you sure as hell gunned down those four men without any hesitation.” 

“I thought you were someone who needed help,” Seamus shrugged. “If I had known it was you, I might have let them finish you off.”

“They weren’t trying to kill me,” James said. 

“I’m kind of shocked,” Seamus said. “Who doesn’t want to kill you at this point?” 

“They’re trying to capture me and Aleks.”

Seamus laughed, “Christ, what did you do this time? Blow up either camps or something? You have Aleks all warped like you now? Did you kidnap him or something?” 

James stood stock still, “I got him from Luke, Seamus. They were torturing him, do you really think this is funny? I’m trying to keep him from going back to that hell.” 

Seamus’s smile dropped. 

“If you’re not a heartless monster, then leave and let us go on our way,” James said. “I don’t want anything to do with you right now.”

“Watch how you sling that word around, monster.” 

“I just told you that Aleks has been Luke’s prisoner for 7 years,” James said. “They were torturing him and experimenting on him because he’s immune, and you had almost no reaction to that. Wasn’t Aleks your friend too? Why are you standing here arguing with me instead of asking about him?”

“Of course I care about him,” Seamus spat while dodging James’s last question. “You were one of my friends once, too, you know.” 

James snorted, “ok, you know what, I’m no-”

That was when James saw Aleks move to stand, and then quickly crumple back to the ground. 

He completely ignored Seamus and brushed past him, crouching down beside Aleks’s fallen form. 

“Don’t stand up too quick,” James said. “You were out for a while.” 

Aleks looked up at him with the expression that hurt him more and more. His eyebrows were pinched together as he tried desperately to remember who this man was standing in front of him. 

What was worse, however, was that he could see that the infection had gotten much worse. His pupil was completely white in one eye, a milky looking substance pooling and completely filling it. 

The other eye was already starting to show signs of this happening to it. 

“I can’t see out of this eye,” Aleks said, covering and then uncovering the affected eye frantically. His feet scraped against the ground for purchase, and James could see by the rapid rise and fall of his chest that he was panicking. 

“It’s ok,” James said, holding Aleks’s legs down to try to calm his panic. “It’s ok, we’ll get you medication, just hold on. You’re gonna be fine.” 

Aleks looked over James’s shoulder at this, using his feet once again to back up into the wall as he looked at Seamus. 

“There’s some-”

Seamus had gone stone still when he saw Aleks’s appearance, his mouth closing and opening again as he tried to work up the words to say. 

“It’s Seamus,” James said. “You remember Seamus, right, he was a good friend.” 

Aleks only shook his head, still pressed hard into the wall. Normally he would try to work the memory out, but because of his panicked state he couldn’t think about anything but the fact that he could no longer see out of one of his eyes. 

“It’s me, Aleks,” Seamus finally said. 

Aleks only looked to James for help. The way he looked at Seamus was like someone who was face to face with a dangerous stranger.

Seamus looked at James in confusion. 

“James, what’s ha-”

Seamus didn’t even have time to get the thought out as Aleks got to his knees and began vomiting like someone who had been poisoned. 

This was more than enough to tell James that Aleks’s infection was progressing much more rapidly at this point. 

“Jesus Christ, James, he’s turning,” Seamus said, moving toward the double doors to the OR, ready to leave. 

“He’s not,” James shouted, rubbing Aleks’s back as he spat the rest of the black bile from his mouth. Even his vomit was black and thick, like an infection, and spattered against the ground and painted it like a thick paste. 

James tried to steady Aleks after he had finished but before he even had a chance to say anything, Aleks collapsed once again. 

James was careful to keep Aleks turned onto his side in case he woke up to vomit again. 

“What the fuck is wrong with him?” Seamus asked, “and what the hell is going on with his eye? What the fuck is that?” 

“I don’t know,” James said as he haphazardly rubbed some of the black bile from his quivering mouth. 

“What do you mean you don’t know? You were the one that got him back from Luke,” Seamus shouted, turning back to face James after he realized the threat had dissipated and Aleks wasn’t actually turning. 

“He just suddenly started getting worse,” James said. “I’m going to the CDC to get him medicine and then we’re going to cross into Canada.” 

Seamus gaped at him, “James, you can’t get medicine for whatever he has. It doesn’t take a genius to see that there’s something more going on with him. He was lashed at the beginning, wasn’t he?”

“He was,” James said. “He’s immune though, Seamus, he wouldn’t have lived for seven years and then suddenly turn. It’s moving too slow. It’s not the disease, it can’t be the disease.”

Seamus face pulled into a frown, “James, these are the same symptoms as someone w-” 

“It’s just an infection,” James barked at him, his face reddening in his anger as well as his fear. 

“An infection doesn’t work like that!” Seamus shouted at him, gesturing wildly at nothing in particular. “I don’t think he’s actually immune, James.”

“How would he have survived for seven years if he wasn’t immune? I just told you that.” 

Seamus bit his bottom lip as he looked down at Aleks, whatever that black mess he vomited up still painting his chin despite James’s best efforts to wipe it off of his pale face. 

“James, this is bad,” Seamus said. “This is really bad.”

“I know – I know,” James said. He felt on the verge of tears looking at the mess Aleks was in, and Seamus, despite his obvious lingering dislike for James, was doing his best to keep it from getting any worse. 

“Tell me what happened, right from the beginning,” Seamus said after some time had passed. “First, though, let’s get out of here.” 

“Help me find some penicillin first, at least,” James said. 

Seamus nodded his head despite knowing that penicillin would do nothing at this point. 

\-----

They had been running for almost a day straight. The sun was beginning to set again when James had finished telling Seamus as much as he could remember. 

He had offered to come as far as the CDC with them, and offered some help. 

James was grateful, after everything that had happened it was nice to see a familiar face that didn’t want him dead – or rather – didn’t have any intention of hurting Aleks. He knew Seamus didn’t like him, but he had obviously been worried when he saw the pitiful state Aleks was in. 

“It started the day before I found out what Jordan, Kain and Luke had been up to so far,” James said. “He seemed ok before that, for the most part. He was his same old self when he was alone with me after he had taken some time to heal. Then, almost out nowhere, he went missing in the middle of the night and I found him kneeling down and looking into a pond at his own reflection. Just staring. He barely responded, he freaked out when he finally came to, and when I brought him back and talked to him about it he kept brushing me off.”

“Couldn’t that just be sleepwalking?” 

“That’s not sleepwalking,” James said. “Plus, he had never done that before. I also find it kind of odd that the infection started suddenly the day after I found him outside. It started getting worse and worse really quickly – the only thing that kept it from progressing like it is now were the antibiotics I had stolen. I have penicillin now, but I’m worried that that won’t cut it for very long.”

“Shit,” Seamus said, running a hand through his honey blonde hair.

He looked like he was thinking something through, something important, so James took this time to check on Aleks. 

James moved his hand and pressed it to Aleks’s throat to check his pulse, something he was doing almost every hour now or when he became too still. The penicillin appeared to be working, however, as Aleks’s breathing had steadied and he appeared to be sleeping normally. 

That was when he saw Seamus reel back. 

“What the hell happened to your hand?” He demanded. Only now did he notice the missing thumb. Even though it had happened so recently, even James forgot about it until he needed his thumb for something. 

“The bandits that Luke and Kain paid off north of their camp,” James said. “They trapped Aleks and me and chained us up. They didn’t do this to me though, I did it. It was the only way for me to escape them.” 

“The fuck,” Seamus exclaimed. “Did you bite it off yourself?”

“Yes.”

“Jesus Christ,” he said. “How did you not bleed out? It looks like you took a half off your hand right off.” 

“Well,” James started. “Uh.”

“What?”

“This sounds like a god damn sci-fi novel,” James sighed. “I can’t get infected,” he said. “I don’t know why, so don’t ask.” 

“Wait, what?”

“It’s a long story, but I’ll give you the short version. A bullet wound I had gotten while entering Luke’s hospital got infected, and to top it all off I was shot with an arrow. I was dying so Aleks took a chance and infected me.”

Seamus reeled back. 

“What does that have to do with your hand?”

“Whatever is going on with me, it causes me to heal quickly. It’s like the infection is keeping me from dying.” 

Seamus was quiet, letting out a small “huh” as he raked this overload of information out in his mind. He didn’t look like he didn’t believe James, however, so that was a start. 

“Aleks is immune too, you said, so why is he so sick like that? If the immunity heals you then why doesn’t it heal him?”

James sighed, “that’s what I’m wondering.”

“Do you think there’s any kind of medication out there that will help him?”

“I don’t know,” James said. “I hope there’s something at the CDC, some kind of clue about what I can do, but I’m going out on a limb here. This is my last chance.” 

Seamus was quiet for a long while and James simply thought that was the end of their conversation. He knew Seamus didn’t have any intention of “catching up” with him on a personal level. 

“What will you do if he dies?”

James was caught off guard by the sudden question. That was something he hadn’t even considered. 

Aleks dying. 

He hadn’t considered the possibility of Aleks dying. It wasn’t something he thought of happening, and it wasn’t something he was willing to let happen. 

“I’ll die before I let anything happen to him.”

“What if it’s something you can’t prevent?” Seamus asked. “If he dies, what will you do?”

James opened his mouth as if to respond, then shut it again. 

“Say it.” 

“I’ll kill myself,” James said easily. 

“James-”

“He’s starting to forget everything now,” James said, his mouth twitching into a frown, betraying his stony eyes. “Sometimes, he can’t even remember my name or who I am.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“What for?” James asked. “He didn’t forget because of you. You didn’t do this to him. This is my fault for letting him get lashed in the first place. This is my fault for taking him from the hospital.”

“It’s not your fault, James,” Seamus said. “I know we’ve had our differences and we ended on really bad terms, but I know this isn’t you. You cared about Aleks more than anything else, I know that – actually, that’s what caused our differences to begin with. So no, I know you didn’t intend for any of this to happen to him.”

James had nothing to say, however. There was nothing anyone could say or do that would make him blame anyone but himself for everything that had happened to Aleks since the beginning of the outbreak.

They ran at a steady, flat speed for some time until Seamus spoke up again. 

“We should rest, James,” Seamus said. “You should rest; I’ll keep watch for tonight.” 

James shook his head. 

“James,” Seamus said sternly. “You need to sleep. The CDC isn’t going anywhere and Luke and Kain won’t be hearing news from the scouts for a long while. You have time for at least a few hours of sleep.” 

James sighed. 

“If you’re dead on your feet like you are now, you’ll be useless if something serious does happen.”

“Fine,” James said. “Only for a few three hours though, I can’t risk sleeping for any longer than that.”

“Alright,” Seamus said. “There’s a cabin somewhere up here, I’ve been here a few times with some other people.”

\-----

When James awoke after they had made camp in a small cabin, he knew he had slept far past what he had intended.

The sky was blue now, and the sun told him that it was already midday. The beams of the sun cut through the tattered drapes and painted his dark, harshly tanned skin.

That was when he saw the shadow on the ground beside him. The shadow was too short and wide to belong to Aleks. 

He shot straight up, and turned to see Seamus looming over him. 

“James, I have something to tell you.” 

James got to his feet immediately, taking a few steps back from Seamus as he did so. The look on his face was the first warning sign to James, and even before he had a chance to speak, he was almost certain of what he was going to hear. 

“Kain and Luke sent me here to try to convince you to turn around. If you didn’t listen, they told me to trick you and take you by force.”

Seamus reached into his bag and tossed a small bag out to James. 

James opened it and saw that it was filled with both syringes and several tranquilizer darts. They were heavy tranquilizers, he knew that by the colour of the fringes on the end of the darts. 

James reached behind him for the pistol he kept in his back pocket, thankful that he hadn’t let his guard down completely with Seamus. He knew meeting him in that hospital was too lucky, he knew it was too convenient that Seamus happened to be looking for medicine in an area so far from his camp. 

He also knew that the seventh scout he heard entering the building with the others had gone missing. 

He now knew where that seventh scout had gone. 

Seamus was the seventh scout. 

“They’re close, listen-” 

James pulled out his gun and levelled it at Seamus’ head. 

“James,” Seamus shouted. “Fucking listen to what I have to say before you do something stupid again.” 

James didn’t point the gun back down, but he also didn’t make a move to pull the trigger, either. The gun was nothing more than a warning to him. 

He truly didn’t want to shoot Seamus, but he would do it if it meant him and Aleks’s escape. 

Knowing that, knowing that he was so ready to kill a long-time friend for him and Aleks’s safety, worried him more than anything. He didn’t care. 

“I said I would do it and I had really planned to drug you and tie you and Aleks up while you were sleeping,” Seamus said. “I’m going to say this just once and then I’m going to leave you, if you decide to go back I’ll come with you, but if you decide to go on ahead I will go back and hold them up for as long as I can.”

“You’re lying.” 

“Why would I come out with any of this if I planned to lie?” Seamus asked. “You seemed to be falling for what I said earlier, if I had any intention of carrying out my plan I would have done it without saying anything to you about it while you slept.”

James lowered the gun, but still kept it clasped tight in his hand. He could move quickly, if he needed to. 

“I sat here all night contemplating what to do, and it took me until now to decide to let you run if you wanted.”

“I would have killed you before you could that.” 

“Hurry up and make up your mind, James,” Seamus said. “They’ll be here anytime now, but if I go back to them I can hold them up for a while.” 

“How long did you know about Aleks?” 

Seamus closed his mouth. 

“How fucking long?” James shouted, flipping the table beside him that held up all of Seamus’s supplies. 

“For about as long as Jordan did.”

James grit his teeth, “how long?” 

Seamus didn’t say anything and James raised his gun again, “you know what I’ve done before, and you know I’ll shoot. I won’t kill you, either, I’ll shoot you and leave you here to suffer.”

“About a year after we joined Kain.” 

James wasn’t entirely sure how to react to this information. He had a sinking suspicion since they had left the camp that everyone had known but him, making rage bubble inside him. All of his supposed friends had known about Aleks still being alive and being tortured by Luke, and yet they all let him foolishly look for him for 5 long years after they found out. 

They had let him turn into a monster. They watched James spiral out of control because of his guilt about what had happened to Aleks, and they said nothing all while it happened. Instead od making a move to deal with the problem, they blamed him. 

James couldn’t help his bottom lip from trembling, but whether it was from the sadness or the rage, he couldn’t quite tell in his current state. 

“They were hurting him,” James said, moving out of Seamus’ view so he could get a look at Aleks who was lying on the cold ground. “Do you see the scars all over him, covering all of his arms? Do you see how skinny he is? That’s what they were doing, they caused this, and you knew this for so long, and you still let it happen.” 

“I didn’t know they were doing that!” Seamus shouted. “Do you know what kind of position I was put in when they told me he was alive? Do you know how hard that was to keep to myself when I saw what it was doing to you?” 

“Why didn’t you tell me then?” James asked. 

“Luke told us that Aleks’s blood had the potential to create a vaccine,” Seamus said. “His immunity was different from all of the others – he could stop the outbreak altogether.” 

“Why couldn’t you tell me, then?” James couldn’t keep the hurt out of his voice. 

“Because you would have been a danger,” Seamus said. “With how things were going for you, we all knew there was a strong chance you would try to take him away. You would ruin all the work and progress that had been made.” 

James sneered at him, unable to do anything else but look at him in disgust. 

“You need to believe me, James, I didn’t know they were hurting him,” Seamus said, his face set. If I knew they had been doing things like that to him, I would have said something. I wouldn’t have let that go on.” 

“You would have.” 

“James,” Seamus sighed. 

“You knew there was a chance that a cure could be created. You wouldn’t have sabotaged that chance even if you knew Aleks was hurting. You’re all selfish.” 

“You know what’s selfish, James?” Seamus asked. “What’s selfish is choosing to save one person over the rest of the god damn country. I made the right choice.” 

James ignored this, too far gone to pay it any mind. “You all knew what him being missing did to me, and yet you all still judged me and turned your backs on me when I lashed out, and you’re doing the same thing again here.” 

“I am telling you to leave,” Seamus said. “I am telling you that I lied, and I’m telling you that I was in the wrong. I’m willing to put myself at risk, and everyone else, to hold off Kain and Luke for you and Aleks.”

“You’re sick,” James said. “After all I did for you guys, this is what I get back in return.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“You’re not though, are you? You’re only sorry because I know and you’re feeling guilty about it, after all these years.” 

“James,” Seamus started. 

“I want you to sit here and think about that day I killed for the first time to protect you,” James said. “I want you to sit here and think about all the suffering that Aleks has been through because of your selfishness.” 

“I’m-”

Seamus didn’t have time to finish the thought. 

James raised his gun and shot Seamus in the gut without even a moment of hesitation. 

It was one of the worst places to get shot, as it was almost guaranteed death but it took forever to kill you. 

You would bleed out slowly, but surely. 

It was also one of the most painful places to be shot, but only if done well and if the gun was shot well. 

James’s aim, luckily, was always true. 

Even as he watched Seamus crumple to the ground, hands pressed into the steadily bleeding wound on his belly, he didn’t feel any remorse for what he had done. 

When he compared this to all the suffering Aleks and him had endured because of he and all the other’s actions, this was nothing to him. 

James slipped the gun back into the back of his pants as Seamus groaned in agony, ignoring his pleads as he picked Aleks up off of the ground and grabbed up all of their supplies, including all of Seamus’s tranquilizers and syringes filled with cocktails of coma inducing drugs. 

“When Jordan gets here,” James whispered, leaning in so close to Seamus that his lips were almost brushing against the shell of it, “tell him that what I’m going to do to him will be much worse than what I’ve done to you.” 

Before turning away from Seamus he pressed the wound on his gut with the heel of his shoe, grinding down and revelling in the guttural scream that Seamus let out when the bullet pressed deeper inside him. 

“James, please, I can help you,” Seamus said through a pained gasp of air. “You need to understand why we did this.”

He ignored him. 

“James-”

James opened the door to the cabin and left without a word, letting the door swing closed soundlessly in the chilly midday air. 

He didn’t look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The promised second part, although it's a little late! Thank you all so much for the lovely comments! (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ )


	22. Of Death, Contagion, and Unnatural Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“What is it?” James asked, his face only inches from Aleks’. He didn’t know what it was, but when he could finally hear it, he knew it wasn’t human._

Seamus had told him that Kain and Luke were close. How close, however, he did not know. 

He had a feeling that Seamus had told them to meet him in the cabin, so if he and Aleks were lucky that would hold them up for some time. He knew they wouldn’t wait with Seamus that long, however. These people prioritized the many over the few, so Seamus bleeding out on the ground would be nothing but a small thorn in their side.

James could feel Aleks stirring in front of him, his head falling back onto James’ chest when he tried to sit up straight in the saddle. 

“James?”

He felt his throat grow painfully dry at this. 

Aleks remembered – for the first time in some weeks – Aleks was finally able to remember his name upon waking. It was obvious that the penicillin had done some good, but when he turned to face James he saw that his eye was still in terrible condition. 

Nothing had actually healed. 

Some of the inflamed veins had receded from around his other eye, however, and that was enough to encourage James to keep going. Though the penicillin didn’t do much, it was far better than nothing. 

“I’m right here,” James said, booting the steed a little harder to get him working faster. He was feeling a rush of encouragement at Aleks remembering his name. Just the fact that he was awake gave him some hope.

“Why can’t I see out of my left eye?” Aleks asked, and James could hear the panic in his hoarse voice. He watched as Aleks sluggishly lifted his hand to cover his eye and uncover it over and over again in a fruitless attempt to see something again. 

The fact that he didn’t remember that he couldn’t see out of the infected eye meant that he didn’t remember waking up and seeing Seamus saving them in the hospital – it was a mixed blessing. 

On one hand, Aleks wouldn’t be asking him where Seamus went, and on the other, he was starting to forget chunks that happened very recently now. He wondered how far back the memory loss went, but he was afraid to ask. He was afraid of what the final outcome would be, but he vowed to find something to help Aleks before anything worse happened.

He remembered James’s name, at the very least. That was a start. 

“It’s ok,” James said. “You were worse before, but the medication I got is working.” 

He wasn’t necessarily telling the truth, but he wasn’t completely lying to Aleks either. He was leaving out a few key details, but it would be best to cause Aleks as little stress as possible considering everything that had happened, and everything that was still to come. There was no telling what his blood pressure rising would do to him, and James didn’t want to find out. 

He could still feel Aleks’s heart beating through his back, a dull thump against his own chest. It was stronger, better than it was, but it was still abnormal. 

As he felt it slowing it’s frantic pace, he himself calmed with it. 

Aleks didn’t say much after this, lost in his own world. He still listened, however, when James told him what had happened (excluding Seamus from the story) and what they were about to do. 

“If the medication is working, then why are we going to Washington? I don’t want to go to another CDC, James, I’m-”

“It’s fine,” James said. “It’s not the one in Georgia, it’s just a little CDC.” 

“No CDC is ‘little,’ James,” Aleks said harshly. He reeled back at his own attitude before James could react. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be,” James said, “I understand why you – why you’re feeling this way, and I’m sorry.” 

Aleks was quiet for some time before questioning him again, his voice far less harsh this time. “Why are you bringing me there?”

“I don’t know,” James said – just a small lie. “I want to see what’s really going on here, and I think the answers might be in Washington. It’s more than just the CDC.” 

Aleks nodded weakly, “well, if you want to find answers, I’m sure you’ll get them there.”

“We won’t be there long,” James said to reassure him. “Just enough to get you more medicine, then we’ll cross the border.” 

“They won’t let me across looking like this,” Aleks said. “Let’s be honest here.” 

“We’ll get across, one way or another,” James said with a shrug. 

Aleks sighed softly at this, letting his weight rest on James fully now. 

“Wait,” Aleks started. “How long have we been running for now?”

“Since when?” 

“Since we left that hospital.” 

“A few days?” James said, though his voice was unsure. “I’m not sure, we’ve only stopped once but it screwed up my count of the days.” 

“You haven’t slept in a few days? James, you need to sleep.” 

“When this is all over, I’ll sleep for an eternity,” James said easily. 

Aleks sighed again, “You’re not going to listen to me, are you?” 

“Not right now,” James said, shaking his head. 

He could tell that Aleks was growing tired again, so he kept his mouth shut to allow Aleks to sleep if he wanted. He appeared to be fighting it, however, as he kept shifting around on the saddle and lifting his hands to pat his face. 

“You can sleep for now,” James said. 

“No,” Aleks said quickly. “I’ve been sleeping too much, and I’m afraid that I’ll forget when I wake up again.” 

“You won’t,” James said, “and if you do I’ll remind you. The infection will heal quicker the more you sleep.” 

He barely had a chance to finish however, as Aleks was sound asleep in a matter of seconds. 

\-----

It was raining, ice cold and miserable, when he and Aleks finally reached the border of Washington. It hadn’t taken nearly as long as James had expected, and he had even managed a few nights of a small amount of sleep – just enough to keep him going. 

It had taken him some time to figure out where the CDC was, and the biggest problem that he faced was how populated Washington would be. It was a busy state – a house to many politicians and important people of all creeds – and he was concerned about what the state of the CDC would be. 

What he didn’t expect was for it to be completely dead. 

He ran from dead street to dead street with nothing in sight and no sound to fill the silence but his horses’ hooves battering the pavement beneath them. 

It was eerie. 

When he had been in the woods alone even for months at a time, it was nothing like this. The woods were meant to be unpopulated, busy instead with the sounds of birds and small critters all through the day and night paired with the rustling of the leaves of the towering trees. 

A cement jungle like Washington, normally bustling with life, was not meant to be like this. 

Cars stood abandoned on the streets, Vines climbed every building, and old fast food stands reeking of long rotten meat stood standing or were tipped over with their contents leaking out. Busted cement littered the sidewalks like confetti.

What it was missing was people. No bones, no rended flesh, no emaciated bodies – there was nothing but spatters of blood where these people might once have lain. 

“We’re here,” James said quietly when Aleks sleepily raised one of his brows. He yawned wide and stretched his arms, groaning when his bones creaked from being unused for so long. 

They had made it as far the District of Columbia when James searched for a convenience store with a map. 

Aleks didn’t say much until they were inside the small corner store, stretching his legs as best as he could before they hopped back onto the horse. 

“Why is it so quiet here?” Aleks asked. 

Aleks must have been feeling much like James was. He hadn’t talked before as something had felt off to him outside as well. Aleks may have been sick, but his ability to sense the atmosphere was still as keen as ever. 

“I don’t know,” James said quietly, casting a few glances over his shoulder and all around him. Something felt off about how quiet it was. There was a not a person in sight, nor a Larkspur. There was no way that was normal for a place so huge. Something about this situation made him feel the need to speak quietly and keep his head low. 

They were getting closer to the center now, and he knew something was happening. Something bad. 

“There’s something wrong,” Aleks said, his shoulders tensing as James quickly pulled loose a map from one of the stands.

“Let’s get back to the horse,” James said. “Now.” 

Aleks grabbed James before he could leave the store, dragging him down to the floor without any warning or word of what was going on. 

“Aleks-”

“Shut up,” Aleks said sharply, holding a finger to his lips. 

“What is it?” James asked, his face only inches from Aleks’. He didn’t know what it was, but when he could finally hear it, he knew it wasn’t human. 

“What the fuck is that,” James said more than asked. He was sure Aleks knew just as much as him, if not less, so he could only listen. They couldn’t see from over the counter they hid behind, but James wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to see it. 

The noises it made were inhuman, piercing – the only way James could describe it was as chitters, like a squirrel. It was very close to them. 

He heard the horse chuffing and nickering, its hooves clopping against the ground as it reacted to whatever it was that was outside. 

Aleks was near hyperventilating next to him, and he squeezed one of his hands in an attempt to keep him from panicking. He didn’t think he could do much to help this situation, considering he himself was near panicking. 

Something was very, very wrong here in Washington. 

It grew very quiet outside, and for a minute James thought that maybe whatever it was outside had left, but then he heard the horse let out a sound that could only be described as a scream. 

Both he and Aleks jumped at the sound, tense as the horse continued to make pained sounds, its hooves clacking against the cold, hard cement as it tried to get away from whatever it was. 

He didn’t want to know what was outside that was strong enough to hurt a horse and prevent it from getting away. 

They listened for what felt like hours in silence, the only thing accompanying them was their breathing and the sound of the now dead horses’ bones snapping and crunching, followed by the stomach turning sound of rending flesh. 

When it finally grew silent again, the creature seemed to have been satisfied as its retreating steps were heard. It sounded like the footsteps of a regular human being. The only thing that sounded off about it was the fact that the steps it took were abnormal, jilted, like a baby deer just learning to walk. 

James moved to stand up. 

“Don’t,” Aleks hissed, grabbing him by the sleeve and pulling him back down beside him. 

He didn’t listen to him, however, but he didn’t stand up either. He pulled his sleeve free of Aleks’ grip and crawled up to the window slowly, watching the ground for any abnormal shadows. When he saw nothing he put his arms up onto one of the counters, peeking over them slowly. 

The ground where the horse once stood was covered in an obscene amount of blood, but nothing of the horse remained – not even a hoof. 

“What the fuck,” James mouthed to himself, looking around carefully for whatever had done that. When he saw nothing and was confident that it was gone, he stood. 

“It’s gone,” James said carefully, still keeping track of every little thing that moved outside of the convenience store. “We don’t have a horse anymore, though.” 

Aleks stood at this, squinting as he came to the window as if that would make the sight of the horse better. 

“Where is it?” Aleks asked, finally opening his eyes to look. 

“I don’t know,” James said. “I don’t know, but I think that thing ate it.” 

Aleks swallowed hard. 

“Look, we need to get out of h-” Aleks couldn’t finish that though as he dropped to his knees, heaving like he had in the hospital weeks before. He covered his mouth as if to prevent it, and as he retched, the thick, black substance from before sluggishly leaked between his fingers. It had the consistency of coagulating blood, but it wasn’t that.

James leaned down beside him, patting his back as he pulled the penicillin free from their shared backpack. 

“Here,” James said as he flicked the syringe to remove any pockets of air. He rolled Aleks sleeves up himself as Aleks couldn’t control the retching, taking the opportunity while Aleks was distracted to get the needle into the muscle in his upper arm. 

He had been told, once, that penicillin should be administered intramuscularly, and not in the vein as it worked quicker the former way. 

Aleks was so caught up that he didn’t react to the needle sticking him or the feeling of the cold liquid entering his body, it was only when James pulled it out and soothed his thumb over the small pinhole that Aleks stopped. 

“Ok now?” James asked, looking at Aleks carefully for any signs of something else being wrong. 

Aleks nodded, wincing when he tried to speak as his throat was now raw from vomiting so violently. 

Aleks looked down at his hands and his stained shirt. 

“What the fuck,” he said as he lifted the sticky black substance closer to his face, examining it with his only good eye. “What is this?” 

“It’ll stop,” James said. “The medicine is going to make it stop.”

“This is what people do before they fucking turn,” Aleks said, his voice pitched slightly higher – he was panicking again. 

“You’re not-”

“I am,” Aleks said, his voice louder than he intended. “I am, and you know it. There’s no other explanation for what’s happening to me right now.” 

James was quiet, “the doctors said you’re immune – you said it yourself.” 

“There must be something else,” Aleks said, running his clean hand through his sweat-slick hair. “They told me my tolerance wasn’t the same as others. Now that I think about it, they used the word ‘immune’ really loosely when talking about me.” 

“It’s still a tolerance, you’re going to be fine.” 

“That thing outside doesn’t speak well for me,” Aleks said slowly. “That thing out there might be someone who was sick like me.” 

“Stop that,” James said seriously, his fists clenched tight at his sides. He was mad, not at Aleks, but mad that Aleks’ situation was making him think like this. 

Aleks bit his bottom lip before looking James in the eyes again, “look at me – look me in the eye right now.” 

James winced, his eyes trained on anything but Aleks’ eyes. His infected eye in particular. 

“Really take a good look at me,” Aleks said. “Something is wrong with me. Something is really wrong with me.” 

James did look at him, though. His stony, deep brown eyes locked on Aleks’ own honey coloured eyes. 

“We’re going to get to the CDC, and we’re going to find out what’s going on with you. We’ll figure this all out together, and I will make you better.” 

Aleks couldn’t help from furrowing his brows, his lip trembling at James’ sincerity. After all that James had been through because of him, still he was determined to stick by him no matter what. James had almost died on a number of occasions – all of them either from trying to find Aleks, or from trying to protect him. 

He had chewed through his own thumb to protect him. 

James wrapped his arms around Aleks at this, squeezing him tight to his chest where he could feel Aleks’ heart beating under his warm skin.

“Let’s stay here and rest for the night,” James said. “It’s dark, and there’s no telling where that thing went – or if there are more of them.”

Aleks soundlessly nodded his head against James’ shoulder. 

\----- 

Their rest, however, was not relaxing by any means. 

When the sun was fully down, the city came alive. 

Shrieks rang through the air endlessly, the same horrible noises that the creature had made before. There were more of them, many more of them. 

“I didn’t hear anything like this when we first entered Washington,” James said, his voice barely audible. “I don’t think they come out in the sun.”

Aleks looked up from where he had his head tucked into James’ chest for warmth, “are you sure?”

“There was nothing right from the border and into Washington, but that was during the day. We were in here by the time night had fallen.”

They heard something rush past the store they were in and they both tensed, waiting for something to happen. James and Aleks both had their hands on their guns, waiting for the second the front window would smash open. 

When it didn’t and the sound receded, neither could let the tension fall from their shoulders. 

They didn’t move as it happened however, lying on the floor quietly and praying for the moment the sun would come up. Trying to run or panic would do nothing for their situation, and now they didn’t even have a horse to help them out. 

“Morning’s almost here,” James whispered. 

\-----

Neither of them slept all through the night. After their experience with the horse and the tense night, waiting to see if one of those creatures would find them, there was no hope for that. Even Aleks, who was still incredibly ill, couldn’t close his eyes for longer than a few minutes. 

As soon as he heard another scream, his eyes cracked open. 

They waited, even as sunlight began cutting through the windows and the screaming sounds receded before they even chanced making a move to stand up. 

There was still no guarantee that those creatures wouldn’t be lurking around somewhere. They weren’t on the streets anymore, but they couldn’t have just vanished into thin air when sunlight began to slip through the clouds. 

It was obvious where they all went, but James didn’t want to think about that. He and Aleks were trapped, both by these creatures, the Canadian border, and by Kain and Luke. They were trapped from every which way and now their only choice was to get to the CDC and hope that he could come up with some way to get them out of their mess. 

As it stood, their best option rested with trying to get through the Canadian border, and James knew that that would most likely not end well. 

He had never been to the border, but he had heard stories of how brutal the soldiers that stood there were. A nation that once preached peace and compassion and was lauded for being the most peaceful now stood as one of the most unforgiving. It was ironic, really. 

These creatures were an unforeseen problem, however, and he wasn’t sure what to do about them. They seemed incredibly dangerous, so much so that handing themselves over to Kain and Luke was starting to look better and better. 

He was sure, however, that Kain and Luke would do far worse to them than what these creatures could do. It was a quick death versus torture. He knew what they had done to Aleks, and that was more than enough to keep him away. 

He wouldn’t let Aleks go through something so cruel again. 

James stood up and began packing their things when morning was getting late and the sounds had long since disappeared. They needed to go on foot, so there was no telling how far they could get. 

“The CDC isn’t that far,” James said as he pulled open the map. He had marked off where it was.

“We can make this today,” Aleks said, always better at judging distances on maps than James was. “Even without the horse, I think we can do it by mid-afternoon.” 

James looked at Aleks who was worrying his bottom lip until it was bright red and raw, his brows knit together in concern.

“What is it?” James asked him.

“Those things,” Aleks said. “They’re probably hiding out in dark areas, like underground parkades and big buildings. They can’t have just disappeared.” 

James knew what he was getting at. He had been thinking the same thing only moments before. 

“They didn’t bother with this place last night,” James said. “There’s a good chance that they don’t bother with buildings unless they’re wide open. They seem like scavengers.” 

Aleks swallowed, an indication of his rising fear, but nodded his head at James anyways. He trusted James enough to go despite the fear eating away at him. 

“Let’s head out now,” James said. “It’ll give us time to get there and get settled. We need to be off the streets before it starts getting dark again.” 

\-----

They were only minutes into their walk and James knew that Aleks wasn’t doing well. 

The sun wasn’t particularly strong and the air was still quite cold despite them being between large buildings. Yet Aleks was sweating bullets despite this, both the hair at his nape and his fringe were damp. 

“Stop,” James said. 

Aleks did so with a sigh. 

“Get on,” James said, crouching in front of Aleks as he put his backpack on backwards to make room for him. 

“What?” 

“Get on.” 

“I’m fine,” Aleks spat. “Let’s just keep going, we don’t have all day.” 

“Exactly, so get on.” 

Aleks sighed, but he didn’t outright say no to his suggestion this time. He looked at the seemingly endless road ahead, then back at James. 

Without a word he reluctantly climbed onto James’ back, settling his legs around his hips when he stood up. It wasn’t particularly comfortable, but James’ knew that this was the only way they would make it to the CDC before nightfall.

Before those things came out. 

The air was chilly enough that James wasn’t breaking too much of a sweat, but the strain on his back was quite hard. Aleks wasn’t particularly heavy – nowhere near as heavy as he was once upon a time – but it was enough to become draining after an hour. 

James stopped for a second beside a tall brick building, reaching around for the map and only being met with Aleks’ woolly sweater. 

“Hand me the map,” James said. 

Aleks opened up the backpack he was carrying and pulled the battered paper free. 

James opened it clumsily and scanned around for the street they were on. 

“Well,” James said. “If we cut through here,” he pointed at a high rise building only a block down that stood beside what looked to be a long tunnel, “we can get there even quicker.” 

Aleks shifted on his back, “is that a good idea?”

James bit his chapped lips, “well, it’s no worse than going all the way around. At this point I don’t think we’ll make it there before night if we don’t take a shortcut.” 

“I’m sorry,” Aleks said. 

“It’s fine,” James said. “I’m just glad you’re better than you were before.” 

“Not much,” Aleks said. 

“As long as we can find better medication and maybe figure out what the hell is going on here, we can get away from Kain and Luke no problem.” 

Aleks was quite for a second, and James could feel Aleks' heart thumping just a little faster. “Kain and Luke?”

James stopped, chancing a look back at Aleks. 

His brows were furrowed like he was thinking really hard about something, but when he saw James’ eyes on him he straightened, his eyebrows set. 

“Oh,” Aleks said quickly. “Yeah, no, I’m sorry. My head is a little cloudy.” 

“Yeah,” James said, slowly picking up pace again. “It’s been a rough few days, it’s no wonder.” 

Aleks was not a convincing actor. 

“We should cut through then,” Aleks said to break up some of the tension that had fallen over them. “If that tunnel is safe, then the other buildings shouldn’t be a problem either. Maybe they migrated out to the woods.”

“It’s safe,” James said. “It has to be, it’s been so quiet out here, and you would think we would at least hear something – anything – if they really were in there.” 

“Right,” Aleks said. 

He didn’t sound all that convinced at James’ logic, but James knew he would follow along anyways. This was the only thing they could do at this point.

He didn’t want to chance another night of hiding from those things. 

When they both reached the tunnel, however, James stopped dead in his tracks.

No sound could be heard coming out of the tunnel, save for the sound of loose foliage dancing along the ground as the wind blew it about. It should have been comforting, but James felt his skin crawling despite it. 

The air coming out of the tunnel smelled sweet and pungent. 

It smelled like Larkspur. 

Considering both he and Aleks were immune to the flowering disease, he shouldn’t have been as worried as he was, but something was off about it. He had not seen a Larkspur since they had entered the city, and it didn’t make sense for one to be growing deep in a lightless tunnel where it couldn’t thrive or eat. 

Aleks could smell it too, he could see it on his face and by the way his nostrils flared every time a hard gust of air blew their way. 

Lapses in memory or not, there was no way someone could forget a smell like that. 

“I don’t know about this,” James started. He was never the type of person to go back on something he said, but something felt off about this. Even someone as reckless as him knew when it was time to back down. However, when he moved to turn away and take the long way around, Aleks tightened his grip on his shoulder. 

“I don’t think we have much time, James,” Aleks said, pointing up at the sun. The sky was becoming cloudless, and something about that didn’t bode well with James. “I think we need to go. Now.” 

There was a storm coming. 

James nodded his head, glancing once behind his shoulder at Aleks for confirmation before entering the dimly lit tunnel. 

He knew they would soon need a flashlight as the sky was darkening with the clouds and the small holes cut into the top of the tunnel would be their only source of light. 

He didn’t want to turn on the flashlight in his hand right away, however, as something felt off to begin with. He wasn’t sure he wanted to see what was going on here. He wanted to stick to his resolve. 

As they walked deeper in James made sure to keep closer to the wall of the tunnel, and though he wasn’t all that agile he still dodged every piece of garbage that he saw littering the ground, careful to not make any sound.   
Even Aleks, who wasn’t on the ground, did not speak up or make any noise despite how sick he was beginning to feel. Even his breaths were quiet, ghosting against the back of James’ neck like a soft, hot summer breeze. 

The clouds, unfortunately, were not on their side as it became completely overcast – heavy rain beginning to fall only seconds after the tunnel became impossibly dark. 

James quickly pressed on the flashlight, wincing as if expecting something to be standing directly in front of them. Fortunately, nothing was there but empty road. He quickly turned to check behind them and also saw nothing but dead cars and battered pavement. 

Rain poured through the holes in the ceiling of the tunnel, drenching them both in no time flat.

Aleks gently nudged his leg as if to tell him “keep going.” 

He definitely was not the only one feeling uneasy in this situation, and the sound of the rain battering the cement above them only made things feel all the more tense. 

James tried to remain quiet as he picked up the pace, dodging and weaving between dead cars while still hopping over the litter on the ground. 

Something didn’t feel right. 

The smell of the Larkspur was becoming more and more concentrated. Still, there was no larkspur in sight and he could not hear the sound of its branches weaving around – it was not normal. 

He knew Larkspur better than anyone else, and he knew this was wrong. 

That was when James saw the flash of lightening through the holes in the roof of the tunnel. 

Aleks grabbed tight onto his shoulders. 

Thunder would soon rip through the sky, and he knew that sound wouldn’t draw anything good. 

They both waited, tense, for the thunder to crash. 

James continued walking, passing the flashlight to Aleks whose heart was racing out of panic. 

Then the thunder roared. 

Passing the flashlight to Aleks to comfort him had obviously been a bad call. 

Aleks dropped the flashlight as soon as the thunder crashed and they both watched as it clattered hard against the ground, impossibly loud in the silent space. It rolled across the cement before being stopped by something – likely a dead car – almost all the way on the other side of the tunnel. 

James waited, as if something would stir in the darkness, but was almost shocked to hear nothing but silence and the rain tapping against the roof. Even as a second round of thunder made the earth tremble beneath them, nothing happened. 

He began walking over to the flashlight when Aleks kicked him in the thighs. 

“Don’t,” he said, so quiet and so close to James’ ear that he could almost feel his lips brushing against the shell of them. 

“We need it,” James whispered harshly, craning his neck to look at Aleks who he could barely see in the darkness, even this close. 

Aleks tensed up as James began inching his way toward the flashlight, his fingers digging so hard into James’ shoulders that he was certain there would be half-moon shaped bruises along them for weeks. 

James reached behind and patted one of his thighs to calm him down, knowing what was going through his head. He was just as worried. 

Things had been going relatively well right up from when they left the confines of the convenience store despite what the weather and tension in the air would have one believe. 

James was feeling slightly better about their situation as he leaned down to pick up the flashlight. That was until he heard Aleks gasp hard. 

James grabbed the flashlight and stood up, the steady beam of light pouring out of its metal confines and directly into the mutilated face of a man, ashy gray and almost inhuman looking. 

It was the face of a man who had long been dead. 

The face in question, however, sported open eyes and a gaping mouth. Branches, twigs, and those all too familiar bright purple flowers crawled from its mouth like insects. 

James was frozen in shock.

Aleks, however, was the polar opposite in this situation. 

“Let me down!” Aleks yelled, pulling free of James’ grip, dropping the ground almost soundlessly, and grabbing him by the arm in the process. He ran, faster than he had ever seen Aleks run – especially in his current position – and James had barely had time to register what was happening.

The sound of things coming to life – moving all around them – was jarring after all the silence they had been experiencing for the past two days. With the sound of leaves rustling behind them and the memory of those purple flowers, everything was falling into place. 

Those creatures from the night before – the same as the one that had killed their only horse – were Larkspur. They were Larkspur that had somehow mutated in a way that they could use their host to move. 

What didn’t make sense to James, however, was that they were coming after both him and Aleks. Larkspur had never paid any mind to them before, and from what he understood the infection both he and Aleks had made it so that they had no interest in them. 

“What the hell is this?” James asked, as though Aleks, who was having trouble keeping a grasp on reality had any clue as to what was going on. 

“I don’t know,” Aleks shouted, his breaths coming in short bursts. 

This running was obviously doing damage to him, but he was scared enough that he could run full speed despite his pitiful condition. 

He never let go of James’ arm as they ran, clipping dead cars with their legs and hands despite how hard they tried to avoid them. They never looked behind themselves or around them, fearful of what they would see. 

They knew there were more of those creatures hiding around in the maze of a tunnel, but they had no interest in finding out where they stood. 

Thunder continued to roar through the sky as they ran, and after what felt like hours of running they could see the opposite entrance of the tunnel. Though the sky was dark and rain poured like a waterfall from it, it was more than welcome.

This was good. 

Aleks’ legs, however, did not share that sentiment. 

James watched in horror as Aleks legs stopped moving of their own volition and he tripped over them. He dropped to the ground hard, rolling several times before slamming into the deflated wheels of a car in front of him. 

They didn’t have time for this. 

James dropped down beside him to pick him up, but the Larkspur coming up behind him had other plans. 

He was catapulted forward by the weight of the Larkspur slamming itself into him. His head knocked into the dead taxi several feet away. 

They were only a few steps from the mouth of the cave. 

James’ head was spinning from the collision, but the sight of all the other larkspur running up behind Aleks had him acting quickly. 

James reached into the waistband of his pants and pulled out the one pistol that he still – thankfully – had on him. As the creature ran toward him, only a second away, he pulled the trigger without a second of hesitation, shooting the Larkspur – or the man that was attached to it – several times in the head before it could deliver a final blow to him. 

It let out a horrifying sound – both human and not human in how high pitched it was – as it fell to the ground on top of him, almost crushing him beneath its weight. Though the host was emaciated and nothing more than skin and bones, the weight of the Larkspur knocked the air out of him. 

Killing the host killed the Larkspur.

James dizzily stood up, pushing the Larkspur on top on him and down onto the ground beside him as he made a mad dash for Aleks, who laid unconscious and only a few feet away from the Larkspur that were coming up on him incredibly fast. 

James scooped him up without a second of hesitation, even his dizzy head not stopping him from taking off at another run. 

He could feel the air of the Larkspur behind him reaching out for him with mottled, gray hands as he closed in on the mouth of the cave. They were so close – only inches away.

He only hoped that they wouldn’t follow him out into the muggy afternoon air. 

He was so tired and so weak from running, he knew his legs would betray him very soon. 

He didn’t expect them to give way only seconds after that thought, however. 

When he reached the mouth of the cave he tripped, unable to support himself and Aleks any longer, and luckily fell outside the mouth of the cave. 

He gasped at the mistake and backed up, his feet scuffing against the pavement as he pushed himself away from the mouth of the tunnel. His arms were wrapped tight around Aleks’ shoulders as if he could protect him from an assault of so many Larkspur. 

He wouldn’t have to protect him, however, as he watched the Larkspur take one step outside of the dark confines of the tunnel and groan as the light – albeit dim – shone down on them. 

They all continued to take hesitant steps out into the light and would only hiss and draw back into the tunnel. 

When they finally realized that this wouldn’t work, they stood there in a line, watching him and Aleks. 

The hosts of the flowering disease no longer had eyes, but he still felt as though they were somehow watching them. 

He clutched Aleks to his chest tighter, the rain pouring down on them soaking them both to the bone as he watched all the Larkspur come to a sudden stop, facing them both down in complete silence. 

Night was coming, and he knew by the way they stood that they would be coming for them. They would remember them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
> 
> Everything is going wrong but do not give up, my friends! 
> 
> As always, thank you all so much for reading and leaving such kind comments!


	23. Pay No Worship to the Garish Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> _It was all too convenient, really._  
> 

After having run for so long he was certain that he couldn’t run anymore – or even walk, for that matter. That was, however, until the display at the mouth of the tunnel. Now he was running as fast as his legs could carry him despite the agonizing burn running through his veins. 

They felt like nothing more than mush by the time he had reached the CDC, but because of the fear driving him forward he had reached it far earlier than both he and Aleks had thought they would. 

It was a wonderful thing, adrenaline. 

He then looked down at Aleks who he had practically been dragging for a majority of the run. 

He had been passed out from point A to point B, but for that James was actually fortunate for the first time. He wanted to make sure they had shelter and were safe before Aleks fully woke up after what had happened to them in the tunnel. It would be a lot for Aleks to grasp all of a sudden, especially if he ended up forgetting everything again. 

At this point, he wasn’t entirely sure what he wanted. 

He knew those thing would somehow find the two of them, and he didn’t want to know what was going to happen when night finally fell and they would flock into the streets like sewer rats. 

He wouldn’t have believed someone if they told him that someday he would be ok with Kain and Luke showing up to take them both, but now he was beginning to believe that it wouldn’t be so bad. He could fight with their two groups’ right up until the bitter end because they didn’t want them dead, but these Larkspur were a different story. He had never seen them before, he didn’t understand their purpose, and he didn’t know if they even had the capacity to think at all. 

He didn’t know what to do in this situation. 

James stood in front of the CDC, rain tapping against the pavement in a steady, staccato rhythm all around him. Instead of immediately running inside despite the rain that soaked him through to the bone, he stood and weighed his options carefully. 

He needed to make a decision now, they didn’t have much time. 

He could try to run out of Washington, or at least the District of Columbia, and at least get as far as the border. He could also take a chance and hide inside another convenience store and try to get out of Washington on foot after the night, or he could turn back to Kain and Luke and he could hand himself over. 

His last option was the CDC. 

At this point, the smarter option looked like entering the building and holding out there for the night. The other options were too risky, and though this option also held its risks, it also harboured possible merits where the others didn’t. 

The only problem this posed was that the building was massive, far bigger than he could have imagined. There was no telling what was hiding inside one of its many rooms. He didn’t know what he had imagined the building would look like, but it certainly wasn’t this. 

James shifted from foot to foot, looking over his shoulders and then back up at the sturdy building standing before them. It was midday now, so running was obviously not the option to go with. 

As if on cue, the creatures from the tunnel began screeching as they had before, almost as if warning him that they would soon be free. 

This sealed the deal for him. 

James tried to push the heavy glass doors open and was met with quite a bit of resistance. The metal section of the doors were rusted together and would only open a small crack. 

James sighed and put Aleks down on the wet ground. Normally he wouldn’t have done something so careless with a person who was already ill to begin with, but the rain had already soaked Aleks through and the cold air had cut through both of their clothes. A little ground water wasn’t going to make a big difference at this point. 

James threw his weight into the door and was met with a loud screech. If there were things inside, at least they would know that he was coming. 

He threw his shoulder into the door one more time, and as his body was too tired to react quickly he spilled inside and onto his chest before he realized what was happening. He was too weak, and the exhaustion of having not slept for several days was beginning to make it near impossible to function or think properly. 

Staying in the CDC was their best option. 

James rolled over onto his back and stared up at the high, cracked ceiling, trying his best to get his breathing to even out. 

Inside the building he could hear nothing despite all the noise he had made. It was for the better, because he was certain he couldn’t sprint like he did earlier again no matter what came after them this time.

He watched as dust swam around in the dim light cutting through the dirty windows, and he listened absently to the cement building creaking around them under the rain and heavy winds. He couldn’t fathom how he was feeling now. 

He wanted nothing more than to just give up. 

He would have given up, too, if it hadn’t been for Aleks. He would have ended it way back at camp if it hadn’t been for Aleks. 

Aleks. 

James sat up quickly, finally broken from his self-pitying reverie when he thought about Aleks, who he had left lying out on the ground in the cold rain and chilly air. 

He gathered himself as quickly as he could, swaying just slightly as he took to his feet for what felt like the hundredth time that day. He knew it wasn’t good that his mind was becoming so muddled, he would pass out soon whether something was after them or not.

Despite his steadily draining exhaustion, James scooped Aleks up from the ground bridal style, carrying him into the building and knocking the door closed behind them with the sole of his battered shoes. 

“Almost there,” James said, more to himself than to Aleks. 

He wasn’t sure where they were going in the building or where they needed to start looking, but he couldn’t think about that right now. He needed sleep, desperately so, and trying to truck through another night would only end badly for both him and Aleks. 

He found a few metal chairs and some fabric ones in the waiting room in the front of the building and used those to block the doors half-heartedly before taking the steps with Aleks. He could barely keep his eyes open at this point, and he also knew that if those things wanted to get in, they could easily break through just about any barrier. He had blocked them out of habit, more than anything. 

“Come on, Aleks,” James said weakly as he tried to haul him up a flight of steps, “wake the fuck up.” He was sure Aleks would feel this when he woke up, especially the wounds he received after tripping and slamming into a car. He didn’t want to treat him like this, but he was too tired now to even try to carry him up properly. He dragged him up by his underarms, and even that was proving to be a difficult task for him.

He managed, however, to get him to the third floor. He wanted to go higher up – as if that would keep them safer from those things – but he knew there was no use in pushing himself past his limits.

He found an office door wide open on the third floor, it was standing like a beacon in between two other larger doors. He thought this was their best bet. If they were out of luck and those things could smell them out or if they somehow knew where they were regardless, he just hoped that they would kill them while they both slept instead of while one or both of them were awake. 

He put Aleks on the ground, or rather dropped him, and flopped down beside him without any blankets after barring the door with a desk and a chair. He wasn’t sure why he even bothered with that, but he knew it was part habit and part of his brain willing him to survive whatever it was that was happening here.

It felt as though the world was growing worse and worse, and James had never thought that possible until they entered that tunnel. 

He couldn’t finish these thoughts, however, as the exhaustion overtook him and he fell soundly asleep next to Aleks. Night would be upon them in a few hours, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep during – if he even woke up at all, that is. 

\-----

He did wake up.

He woke up to an earth shattering scream coming from directly beside him. 

James shot up and looked down at Aleks. His eyes were still shut, but he appeared to be seizing, if one could call that seizing. James had seen seizures before – many times, in fact – and he knew that this wasn’t normal. No one made sounds like this while they seized, no one screamed like that. 

That wasn’t what got him panicking the most, however. It was the fact that it was night time and he was certain that if those things weren’t already in the building, then they would be swarming them in no time flat. 

“Fuck,” James said, exhaustion still refusing to let his limbs work properly. He crawled over to Aleks – who had somehow migrated to the other side of the room in whatever fit he was having – and flipped him over onto his back to get a better look at him. 

He stopped moving. 

“Aleks?” James shook him by his shoulders. He leaned in close, his ear only a breath away from his mouth. He was still breathing. 

James pressed his ear to his chest. His heart was still beating, though it was rapid and the beats were abnormal. 

James dropped down to his backside, watching Aleks carefully for a few moments. His breathing was relatively normal again, but James pulled the penicillin free from their only remaining backpack despite this. 

He used the syringe he had used before to inject it into Aleks’ thigh. 

He didn’t even stir. 

When James put the syringe away again, he could only watch as Aleks quietly slept. By the way he was sleeping so soundly, no one would have known that it was him making all those horrible sounds only moments before. 

What he just did – that shout – wasn’t normal. 

There was something bad going on with Aleks, and James wasn’t entirely sure what it was, and if he even wanted to know. It was so much more than just an infection now, that much was obvious to him. This was affecting him in ways no disease or infection should affect a person. He was losing his memories, doing things he wouldn’t normally do, saying things he would never say, and to top it all off he would pass out for huge amounts of time. 

The way those Larkspur stood still as they looked at him, and the way they all seemed to swarm toward him instead of James, was also another big concern that he wasn’t sure he was ready to tackle. 

James combed him fingers through Aleks’ fringe, allowing himself a better look at the infected eye. He didn’t want to disturb his sleep, but considering how long he had been out, he wasn’t entirely sure it mattered all that much anymore. Since they left the camp, Aleks spent most of the time passed out or near passing out. 

It was unfair. He had just gotten Aleks back and it seemed as though he spent more time worrying about him than actually enjoying his company. Nothing was the same anymore, he understood that, but it wasn’t fair that it was so difficult for the both of them. 

James was so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn’t expected the front door of the building to come crashing in. Even from on the third floor he could hear the glass shattering, then tinkling as it hit the battered and cracked cement floor. 

Aleks sat up straight with a gasp. 

“Jesus,” James said, reeling back. 

Aleks looked at him, his eyes frantic. 

“We need to go.” 

It took James a second to react. Aleks had just woken from a long sleep, and he was talking and making orders as clear as day only seconds after. 

“They’re outside, we can’t fucking leave now,” James said when the shock finally wore off some. He blamed this sudden and strange outburst on Aleks’ infection, but his eyes looked so clear and his face so set. “Those things are outside, we need to wait until morning to move out of here.”

“No. Now.”

Aleks grabbed James by the sleeve of his shirt, dragging him up to his feet. 

James couldn’t believe the strength behind his grip – he knew there was something wrong with that. Aleks’ body was emaciated, much like it was after he had taken him from the hospital that day, so this strength was entirely unfounded. As it stood, Aleks was not a naturally strong person, certainly not strong enough to fight with James. 

“Aleks, let go,” James whispered harshly. “And keep your god damned voice down.” 

Aleks shook his head from side to side wildly. He knocked one of the chairs that stood in front of the door onto the ground with a loud clatter. 

If those creatures didn’t know exactly where they were already, they most definitely did now. 

“Stop it, Aleks,” James said, trying to wrench his sleeve out of Aleks’ impossibly tight grip. 

He didn’t listen, however, and continued pulling James behind him as he tried to leave the room in a flurry. He pulled the desk away from the door with one hand, and didn’t even bother stopping as he heard one of the creatures walking up the steps toward the source of the noise. 

“Fucking stop,” James finally shouted at him, leaning all of his weight back as he tried to wrench himself free of Aleks’ iron grip. 

It was too late, however, as Aleks already had his hand on the knob, turning it with ease despite James struggling so much behind him. 

James was quiet after the door opened – even though he knew that that wouldn’t necessarily help their situation. Aleks had given them away when he yelled and when he threw the furniture around, and James did by shouting at him when he wouldn’t let him go. 

Aleks took off at a run, hauling James behind him quickly.

James was feeling more uneasy then he ever had. 

Everything felt wrong. Everything had begun going wrong right from that night that Aleks had disappeared and he had found him staring at his own reflection in the pond. 

Now, here he was, in a supposedly unfamiliar building moving around like he had been through the place thousands of times. It was like he had memorized every hall and door – no, it was more like he had remembered this specific route. 

He ran up the stairs, around the corner, down the hall, up the stairs again – James couldn’t keep track of what he was doing, but he knew he was not going in a random direction. He only looked forward, but James could see his mouth working. He was talking to himself, and it was barely audible over their feet slamming against the cement paired with the sound of the Larkspur behind them. 

_Left._

_Right._

_Up._

_Fourth door._

Aleks didn’t seem to hear the Larkspur, or rather, it didn’t seem to be on Aleks’ mind at all. He moved around mechanically, dodging things that he didn’t even have to look down at to see. 

They ran up several flights of stairs, and down many random halls. This place seemed endlessly huge and James wondered if they would ever get to where Aleks was going. The Larkspur was catching up with them rapidly; James could hear it only a few feet behind them. 

James was about to reach back and use his free hand to pull his gun free of his waistband, but Aleks seemed to have other plans. 

In front of them stood an elevator shaft, just barely open. He didn’t take even a second to hesitate as he jumped down without so much as a glance down. 

There was no telling if the elevator was even down there. 

James shouted as he was hauled through, reaching out for purchase before slamming against the metal shell of the elevator. The elevator creaked under their combined weight. He had no time to tense up, and he believed that was what kept him from breaking something. It wasn’t a huge drop, but a five foot drop down onto your arm was never a good thing. 

He didn’t know how Aleks knew this was here, but he did. 

He heard the creature above and looked up in a panic, only to realize that it couldn’t fit through, or rather, didn’t have the mind to turn sideways to get through. Instead the creature struggled with the doors, trying to push them open with its strong arms. 

It was jammed. 

James looked at Aleks quizzically. 

Aleks didn’t respond. He tugged on James sleeve again and pulled open the top of the elevator. He slipped down inside, pulling James down carefully this time, and they stopped in front of a large pair of doors. There were no hallways here, just one set of two huge metal doors. 

He didn’t bother looking over his shoulder as he burst through them, throwing his entire weight into them. 

“What the fuck,” James said, shielding his eyes from the bright blue light from a heap of computer monitors positioned all around the room as well as the sterile white walls that seemed to glare down at both of them.

The body of a man who had been dead for what seemed to be several months sat in a chair, a pistol in his lap and a clear bullet hole visible in the side of his head. 

The room was empty and silent save for these few things. 

James furrowed his brows at Aleks who didn’t look back at him. He walked forward and dug through the mountains of paper on the desk beside the man, pulling free a blue notebook. He seemed relieved to see this, and before James could even comment Aleks began frantically searching for something else. 

“What’s wrong?”

Aleks didn’t answer as he continued to search, letting out a relieved gust of air when he looked at the dead man. 

He pulled a pen free of the dead man’s lab coat and began scrawling barely legible letters and numbers all over the front of the notebook. 

He coughed hard, and James watched as more of the black bile from before spattered against the ground in front of him. 

The penicillin clearly hadn’t made a difference this time. They really were running out of time. 

Aleks turned to him, barely able to keep himself upright as he pressed the notebook to James’ chest. He pointed hard at the letters and numbers written along the front.

When he looked at them they made no sense to him, and he was more concerned about Aleks’ state right now more than anything else. However, before he could do or say anything about any of this Aleks suddenly collapsed to the ground, his eyes fluttering shut soon after. 

That was why he had been in such a rush. 

“Aleks,” James shouted, dropping down next to him. 

Something was really wrong this time. 

James flipped him onto his back again and listened for his heart. 

There was nothing. 

“Holy shit,” James stood up. “Holy shit.” 

He had been taught what to do in this situation, but he could only stand there, both of his fingers running through his hair and pulling at the curly strands as he looked down at Aleks’ motionless body. 

Finally, he dropped down beside Aleks and began pumping his heart. 

Something in him knew this wouldn’t work – something in him knew that he wouldn’t be able to restart his heart with just his hands – but he tried regardless. 

James leaned down to listen to Aleks’ breathing, and when he heard nothing he tried again. 

“1, 2, 3, 4, 5…”

_Nothing._

“Fuck, please don’t do this now,” James sobbed. His exhaustion, his fear and his realization that everything was falling apart was making him lose his mind. 

“1, 2, 3, 4, 5…” 

_Nothing._

Then he saw the box full of Epinephrine sitting at the man’s feet. 

Aleks’ arm was stretched out toward it, his fingers just brushing the rough surface. It was almost as if he had known that his heart was about to fail and that this would be here to help him. 

It was all too convenient, really. 

It was there for a reason, but James hardly had the mind to think about it. He knew it was far too convenient that adrenaline be sitting right next to him just when he needed it, but he didn’t want to think too much on it before he helped Aleks. Aleks was his current priority, everything else could wait. 

James grabbed one of the syringes out of the box without even considering how old it was or if it was the right dosage. He didn’t care, and he knew that this was the only thing that could help him right now. 

He removed the plastic cover and jammed the needle into Aleks’ thigh without a second thought, injecting the entirety of the drug into Aleks’ body in one smooth motion. 

He knew the risks associated with using adrenaline to restart someone’s heart, but he was completely out of other options.

Aleks gasped, his eyes wide and watering from the bright light shining all around the room. 

James didn’t let out a sigh of relief yet. He grabbed Aleks’ face in an attempt to get him to focus his eyes on him. 

“Aleks?” 

Aleks eyes were still wide open – empty but open – and after an uncomfortable amount of time had passed Aleks nodded his head at him. Slowly, but he nodded. 

James sat with him quietly as he tried to regain his bearings. 

There appeared to be no brain damage, but James was certain that whatever damage there was to do had already been done by Aleks’ infection. 

Aleks gripped his hand tight as he came back down from his blood rushing painfully fast inside his body and his heart pumping incredibly hard. He couldn’t imagine what a huge dose of adrenaline like that felt like. He didn’t want to know. 

He knew Aleks was gripping down unconsciously and that he wasn’t really lucid, but it still comforted him knowing that he at least could move his body.  
James sighed heavily in relief, “what the fuck was that back there?”

Aleks didn’t answer – of course he didn’t – still breathing in and out at a rapid rate. He was sure that he wouldn’t be able to speak or properly wake up for some time, so instead he focussed on letting Aleks rest. Overwhelming him with too much could be bad for his recovery. 

A lot had happened in the space of a half an hour, so it was no wonder Aleks was having difficulties getting it together. He had also just been pumped full of an unknown dose of adrenaline as well as penicillin, so there was no telling what was going on with him right now. He was just lucky that Aleks was alive after all that. 

James took this time to read the notebook Aleks had thrust at him before passing out. James opened the blue folder and flipped through the pages absently at first, too keyed up to actually take the time to read through the scribbled mess properly. However, when pictures spilled out from inside the notebook. He finally realized Aleks had handed this to him for good reason. 

James crouched down and picked up the fallen pictures before becoming still as he realized what the pictures were of. 

They were of many different people, but all were marked with “Subject 10” and so on. No names were written on these pictures, just dates and what appeared to be random numbers. 

James flipped through all of them. 

What was making James’ heart beat frantically, however, was the fact that each of them had something in common with Aleks. Their eyes were infected just like Aleks’, some at different stages than others. Many of them were far worse off than Aleks. Some of the people in the pictures had their entire bodies covered in webs of inflamed veins, making their skin look ashy and grey. 

It was the last picture, however, that really caught James’ attention. The person – whether man or woman was difficult to say – had none of those inflamed veins running up and down their bodies, though their skin remained grey and ashy. What stood out the most on this person was the fact that larkspur jutted from their back just like those who were infected. Their eyes were missing altogether, and inside you could see Larkspur blooming behind the empty sockets. 

This person looked exactly like what those creatures in the tunnel looked like. 

From what James could garner without actually reading the notebook, this was the end result of whatever strange infection Aleks had. 

James let the notebook drop without reading it. He knew that he didn’t need to read it all right now. The pictures told him enough of what was happening, and he didn’t have the mind to keep track of the hospital banter. 

When he first fell out of the tunnel and had a good opportunity to look at the creatures, his first thought was that maybe it was what was wrong with Aleks. He had denied it and tried desperately to focus on other things, though that effort had been fruitless. Now that he had confirmation, however, he wasn’t entirely sure what to do with himself or the information he was receiving. 

It was obvious to him what had happened in Washington, and it was obvious by those creatures still roaming the streets that there was no cure for whatever strain of the infection this was. They had been experimenting here, and clearly they hadn’t been able to contain the mobile Larkspur. 

James looked back at Aleks as he ran several scenarios through his head. 

James looked around himself for something – anything – and could tell just by a few quick glances that this room was obviously off limits to most people. Aleks had gotten in by going through the elevator shaft, after all. 

There were screens scaling the wall on the left end, all of them humming quietly with their blue screens blipping out and into black endlessly. 

They had been performing experiments here, but what kind of experiments James was concerned about. He wondered if maybe they had once been trying to make a cure, and when they found this mutation they let it go to observe it instead of kill it. 

He wasn’t sure, but he knew Aleks had brought him here for a reason, and he knew that they hadn’t been gentle with him if the scars all over his body said anything about that. 

James walked toward the screens after one quick look back at Aleks over his sore shoulders. He was out of it, but still breathing, and that was enough for James at the moment. 

At one point in his life he had spent hours and hours a day behind a computer screen, now he felt completely out of place sitting in front of one after so many years without one had passed.

He rolled his seat toward what looked to be their main computer - and was met with a password when he turned it on. 

He should have expected that. 

James cursed, slamming his fists into the worn down keyboard. He looked around for a clue, hoping that maybe someone had been dumb enough to write it down on a table surface. 

No such luck. 

It was no wonder. This was a CDC, after all, and whatever had been going on here was clearly a very well-kept secret among the few scientists that spent their time in this room. If it hadn’t been a secret that was buried deep, he’s sure he would have heard about it at some point. He would have remembered hearing about something like this. 

James was about to stand to search the dead man with the lab coat on when the blue notebook lying on the floor at his side caught his attention. 

Those random letters and numbers that Aleks had written down stood out like a beacon. 

James picked up the notebook – ignoring the dozens of photos that spilled out of it and onto the floor – and began quickly keying in the random letters and numbers that Aleks had written down for him. There were 40 characters there – the max for this computer. 

They were being exceptionally careful. There was no way that someone could randomly guess this password. 

When James pressed enter he was graced with the screen lighting up and folders upon folders spilling out across the screen in front of him. Certainly he didn’t have enough time to go through them all, but he knew there was a reason for Aleks bringing him here, and he gave him the password just for this. Contrary to what he believed and what Aleks remembered, Aleks had most likely been in here at some point. There was no explanation for him remembering these things, and there was no way that he had remembered all the passwords without seeing these scientists keying them in over and over again. 

He knew that Aleks had told him he was missing huge chunks and pieces of his memories of being in the CDC, so this was most likely one of those memories that had suddenly come back to him. 

James clicked on the first folder he saw and was met with thousands upon thousands of photos and videos of the same person lying on a steel trolley. They took pictures of everything: his hands, his fingernails, his eyelids, his eyes, right down to the bottom of each toe and more. Each photo was separated by date and time. 

Curious, James scrolled down to the bottom. 

All these symptoms looked like Aleks’, and James couldn’t help but swallow hard as he scrolled through them. He was squinting as if that would prevent him from seeing anything he didn’t want. 

At the very bottom, through his squinting, he saw the same picture that he had seen before of the person with the ashy skin. 

There were pictures of everything just like with all the others in each of the folders, right down to the very last cuticle. Every folder represented a person. 

He clicked on videos in different files, skimming through them quickly to avoid seeing anything too graphic. 

The first one had James quite shocked. 

They only had one doctor in the room with the very first patient, and he stood uneasily in front of the patient despite him being out cold and strapped down to the table for good measure. The doctor standing before him held a scalpel in his hand and kept glancing back toward the camera nervously. 

The man was making even James, who was nowhere near the scene, sweat. He watched impatiently as the man pressed the scalpel to the man’s arm when the person behind the camera urged him on. He pressed it in deep before pulling the scalpel free, blood spilling – abnormally dark – from the wound he had made. 

The man backed up so far he was pressed up against the sterile white walls. 

James didn’t know what he expected from this. 

The doctor seemed to relax after a minute, his shoulders losing their tension. He looked at the camera, and though James couldn’t see his mouth he knew he was smiling under that blue mask. 

The man behind the camera made a pleased sound. 

It all seemed very routine, like any other basic surgery, until the man on the tables’ body started moving. 

It didn’t happen the same way James remembered seeing it. The subject’s whole body didn’t twitch and writhe – just his arm where the doctor had made the incision moved. 

He knew what was going to happen. 

From the wound, lightning fast, a sinewy green vine with several small, barely blooming, blue flowers shot from the wound and wrapped itself around the man’s upper arm. It wasn’t impossibly tight, but it still cut through the fabric of his sleeves and grazed his skin.  
One lash, no matter where or how hard, was enough. 

The man behind the camera as well as what sounded to be a few other people gasped. James watched as an armed man – suited up in a bulletproof vest and carrying a heavy piece of machinery – opened the door with a short four digit code. 

The door clicked, and without a second of hesitation the man shot him down. The doctor didn’t even have time to get his plea out before he was shot dead. 

The man behind the camera took in a deep breath of air, letting out in a large gust before moving to stand in front of the lens. He was a burly man – short and stocky – with curly red hair. “Test 1 was a failure. Dr. Roszek was killed after making an incision on the arm of Subject 1 while under sedation-”

James closed the video. 

These were just the basics. These doctors were just testing how the virus acted. Most people knew these things by now. 

James sat back in his seat, tenting his fingers in front of his mouth as he looked at the hundreds of folders sitting in front of him. 

He needed to find Aleks’ file. He knew he had to. Why else would Aleks have brought him here?

Though he didn’t want to see it, he looked for Aleks among all the folders. He didn’t want to see, but he wanted to know why it was that Aleks’ infection wasn’t progressing at the rapid rate that all the others seemed to be. There was something different about him, and James wanted to know what it was. 

After almost losing hope after clicking through file after file, however, he found Aleks’ folder. 

It made sense that his was the very last – he was the only one of these patients alive, or so it seemed. Something had happened in this building that allowed all these creatures to escape, and he had a feeling that Aleks’ capture by Luke’s group had something to do with it. 

There was a lot more going on here than James could have imagined, and he knew he didn’t have much time. 

\-----

“They’re heading right into Washington,” Seamus choked out. Jordan sat beside him, lifting his head so he didn’t choke on his own blood. 

He had been in the cabin for several hours like this, and he had lost an incredible amount of blood. It was a wonder that he hadn’t died from the blood loss. 

“God damn it,” Luke cursed, running a hand through his shaggy hair. He stomped down hard and crushed the base of an empty syringe. 

Kain looked at him questioningly.

“Washington is not good,” Luke said. “It’s bad there.” 

“So you’ve said.” 

“No, that’s the problem. It’s been years since I was there. When I first arrived, it was just like any other place.” Luke was quiet for a second, biting his lip until it turned white under his teeth. “Fuck, I was really hoping they wouldn’t head that way.” 

Kain’s expression didn’t change, he only raised one of his thick brows at him. Kain had heard the story of Washington many times over. Luke told him about the experiments, he told him about the raid on the hospital, and he told them about finding Aleks. He didn’t spare him any details, either. 

When Luke still didn’t speak, Kain grabbed him by his shoulder to get his attention. “What is it?”

“We haven’t heard anything from Washington in two years.” 

Kain could only gape at him in shock, he knew what that meant. 

He knew what it meant, but he asked anyways. 

“So what does this mean for us?” 

“I think something went wrong during their experiments,” Luke said. “After we left with Aleks, the radio went silent and their channel never came back up.” 

Kain got up into Luke’s face. Though he was a shorter man, he was stockier and had bigger presence than any of the other leaders combined. “You should have told us this a long time before you sent us down there. If those fucking things got out, then we’re dead. We can barely hold our own against normal Larkspur.” 

“They’re sensitive to light,” Luke said. 

The way he said it as though that was the answer to all their problems and that this would go off without a hitch made Kain let out an unamused scoff. 

“That’s not the problem here,” Kain said. “I do not want to send my men off to be killed and eaten by god damn monsters that we don’t even know how to deal with. The Larkspur are terrible enough without having the ability to chase them down like god damn animals.” 

“We’ll figure out a way. We need James and Aleks back-”

“Those two could already be dead for all we know,” Kain shouted. “They don’t even know those fucking things exist, and if they ran into them without knowing what to expect then there’s no telling what happened.” 

“They have a horse and they can’t get infected” 

“The horse can only do so much against a horde of those things, and from what you told me those things don’t just lash, they attack and kill. Their immunity means nothing if those things decide to swarm them and pummel them to death.” 

Luke pulled away from Kain’s grip. He paced around the room, ignoring the eyes all watching him, waiting for him to say something. 

“Aleks was in there while those experiments were going on, I’m certain that he has at least some memories of what he saw while there.” 

Kain sighed, scrubbing a callused hand over his face, “you told me yourself that he has no memories of any of that. He didn’t even know where he had been, for fuck sakes. I’m sure he wouldn’t have been half as normal as he was at camp if he had any of those memories.” 

“We don’t know that,” Luke said, his eyebrows knit in frustration. “He could have been lying to us all that time.” 

Kain let out a humourless chuckle, looking off into the endless treeline through the dirty window as he considered everything he was just told. 

“We could be walking into a huge fucking trap, for all we know,” Kain said with a shrug. “We have no idea of what’s going on out there.” 

“We need to go,” Luke said sternly. “We can’t just let two valuable test subjects run, and knowing what we know, they won’t get across the border anyways.” 

Kain sighed. 

“What if they do get across the border?” Jordan finally spoke from where he cradled Seamus’ head. 

Both Kain and Luke turned to look at him. 

“You don’t know, do you?” Luke asked. He crossed his arms in front of his chest as he looked down at Jordan. “Kain didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?” Jordan asked. 

“Canada is gone.”

“What?”

“Everything is gone. We’re the only ones left now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for constantly changing how many chapters there are until the end. The most recent chapter I typed ended up being 15,000 words + and I didn't want to let out a chapter that big. I'm going to divvy it up and go from there. I apologize but I don't want to rush this and skip important things. _(」∠ ､ﾝ､)_ 
> 
> I love you all for your patience with me, and thank you so much for following me with this :') I've really been appreciating your feedback and I will be getting to asks on tumblr very soon!! (´∀｀)♡


	24. Yet I Should Kill Thee with Much Cherishing.

**5 Years After the Outbreak**

“What exactly is it that we need Aleks for?” 

Luke turned around, his brows furrowed. “What brought this on?” 

“It’s just a question,” Jordan shrugged his shoulders. 

“A cure. Haven’t we talked about this a hundred times already? You would think that you’d remember something so important.” 

“How though?” 

Luke sighed, “that’s a little difficult to explain. I’m not a doctor, you know, so if you want the whole spiel in medical terms you’ll have to ask the doctors working with him.” 

“You’ve had him for, what, almost 4 months now? I just find it odd that there haven’t been any results yet.” 

“Jordan,” Luke started, shaking his head as though he were disappointed in him. “I went far and wide to get him, do you think I would have done this all for nothing? I’m not in the business of making people miserable for no reason. It’s not as easy as draining someone’s blood and then injecting it into someone else, we learned that from the videos they had at the CDC. It will take time to figure this all out.” 

Jordan scowled like a child who had been told he couldn’t have the toy they wanted. “I don’t like this,” Jordan said. “Something feels wrong about this.” 

“Of course it does,” Luke said, one of his fine brows cocked. “You’re lying to one of your closest friends and causing him to suffer in silence and you’re allowing the other to rot in captivity-” 

“Luke,” Kain – who had otherwise remained quiet – shouted, his voice warning. 

“- but this isn’t about them, or you,” Luke finished. 

Jordan’s scowl dropped. 

“You should know that. James and Aleks are miserable, that’s true, but Aleks might just be the key to ending all of this misery for good.”

Jordan swallowed thickly, “it’s hard.” 

“Yes.” 

“It’s hard lying to my friend to his face like that,” Jordan said. “Do you know how it feels to tell him to give up when I know Aleks is alive only a few states away? If I could just tell him, I’m sure he would understand.” 

Luke crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned up against the wall behind him. “Do you honestly think that?” 

Jordan’s eyes scanned the room as if one of the cracks and crevices would tell him the answer to all of his problems. 

His silence was more than enough of an answer for Luke, however. 

“I wish we could do this some other way,” Luke said with a shrug. “Unfortunately, we don’t have that luxury.” 

Jordan sighed.

Luke had a way with words. He was rude, brutish, and unbearable at the best of times but he could also talk his way out of anything. Luke could find a reason for even the worst things if he so wanted. He was to be feared not only because of the forces at his back, but because of his ability to sway even the most sound of mind individuals. 

Jordan was one of those people. 

“Are you with me?” Luke asked.

Jordan nodded.

He had no other choice. 

\-----

Before opening Aleks’ folder, James took a long, deep breath to calm himself down for what would inevitably be something terrible. His index finger hovered above the mouse. 

James clicked the folder after several seconds of silent hesitation passed, squinting as he watched an endless amount of photos of Aleks scaled the screen in front of him. 

He opened his eyes wide, however, as he saw the first few sets of pictures. He wouldn’t lie and say that the first few photos of him didn’t tug at his heart. 

In the first few pictures of him, Aleks was still wearing the sweater he had on when the first attack had happened. He looked exactly as James had remembered him in these pictures. His face was much fuller, doughy and soft, as some of the baby fat he carried from his childhood refused to leave. His hair was still as soft and silky looking as he had remembered instead of the dull brown it had become after the infection started ravaging his body. 

Though his eyes were shut in all the pictures, he was certain that they were the same bright, honey colour that he remembered them being. 

He looked exactly like he remembered him. 

What bugged him the most out of all this, however, was that his name wasn’t even present in the files. Subject 349 was all it read. These people didn’t know his name, and they didn’t care. He was just another lab rat to them – a means to an end. 

He scrolled down, trying his best to control the rage beginning to boil inside of him. 

They were harmless looking pictures at first glance, they were all the same as the other people’s photos. They snapped close-up shots of his arms and legs, his toes and his eyes - everything. They were documenting the progress of the infection – or lackthereof, in Aleks’ case. 

And that was the big difference between Aleks and the others – the infection was not spreading as rapidly, in fact it didn’t appear to be spreading at all. The others seemed to succumb to their strain of the infection within a month or two – and though months had passed Aleks’ photos remained the same with very little change outside of the loss of weight. 

Then the videos started. 

Clearly, just watching the progression of the infection wasn’t enough for these people. 

James had skimmed some of the other videos from the other subjects – they were all fairly routine and what one would expect from a professional medical exam – but his were different from all the others. 

These people took it one step further with him.

Instead of being asleep while they worked on him like all the others had been, he was wide awake. 

Aleks had never told James any of this. He never told him it had been so bad, he just told him that he had been asleep for the most part. 

Aleks, James thought, had probably forgotten a good part of all this. Trauma did a lot of strange things to people, and he could see why Aleks’ mind would do its best to bury these memories in particular. These were the kind of memories that could completely unravel a person’s sanity. 

When they moved to make the first incision on Aleks’ ribs as he squirmed and begged them to stop, James had to stop the video. 

He couldn’t see Aleks’s face as the camera focussed in on his ribs, but the voice was more than enough to let James know that it was him. The tattoos that scaled his arms were also, without a doubt, his. These tattoos were completely unique to Aleks. 

He sat in the chair, his fists clenching and unclenching on the metal desk in front of him as he looked at the paused screen. A scalpel hung only a small breadth away from Aleks’ pale flesh, steadfast and ready to make the first incision. 

He looked over at the scientist that sat dead on one of the chairs across the room, wishing that he hadn’t taken his own life. James would have been more than happy to put him – and all the other scientists – through the same thing that they had put Aleks through. 

He looked down at Aleks again, his eyes now shut. He was breathing in and out slower now, and James was glad that he hadn’t completely woken up. He didn’t want Aleks to have to relive this. There was a reason he had forgotten most of what happened here. 

James pressed play. 

The camera stayed centered on his ribs where his wounds had once been. Scars remained, but any and all damage had already healed. All that remained was the soft, pink scar tissue. 

Based on the timestamp on the video, it had taken little more than 12 days for the wounds to heal themselves fully, and there was no telling if they had healed themselves even earlier than that. What truly baffled him about this, however, was the fact that the wounds he had sustained that night had been wounds that – by all rights – would have killed any normal person no matter what doctor had been around to help. Aleks had healed in a matter of days, and it would be obvious to anyone that this was not normal. 

This, he believed, was what made them decide to work on Aleks while he was awake. He didn’t know much, and he was certain that he would never truly know the whole story, but he knew enough to start drawing conclusions based on what he had right in front of him.

He wondered afterwards, just briefly, if those missile strikes that everyone had been told were terrorist attacks were actually terrorist attacks at all. But, that was too much to think about. Instead, he reluctantly focussed his attention back on the video in front of him. Aleks was his first priority, after all. 

At first the doctors made a small incision on Aleks’ side over one of the scars, standing there completely blank faced as Aleks desperately fought against his binds. It was like they were butchers, routinely carving up whatever animal they got their hands on. 

They were all looking down at the cut, as if waiting for something terrible to happen.

Nothing. 

The doctor’s spoke to one another absently, then finally the man holding the camera spoke, cold and uncaring. He didn’t seem phased at all by Aleks’ squirming and begging for them to stop. 

He had reason to believe that the man holding the camera was the man now sitting dead in the chair on the other side of the room. There was nothing that really gave him away appearance-wise, but he knew that it would only make sense for the most cowardly person to be the last one standing. 

“It seems as though the larkspur are not active when Subject 349 is awake. We made a small incision on his ribs and there is no activity.” 

Aleks was still writhing around. James couldn’t quite make out what he was saying over the voices of the doctors and the man with the camera, but he had a good idea it was the same as what he was saying before. 

He was begging for help, begging them to stop hurting him, begging them to tell him where he was and what was happening. 

“Please, be quiet,” one of the doctors said, her voice faux soft and soothing, acting as though she cared despite what cruel things she was doing, and what cruel things she had yet to do. 

Aleks appeared not to hear her, or not to care, as he continued crying out for help. Either way, her pathetic and half-hearted attempts at comforting him were not working. 

James stopped the video again. 

It was difficult, and he could only wonder how many times he would have to stop the videos before he got through all of them. If the man on the table was any other person he still would have had a hard time watching, but knowing that this was Aleks lying there being mutilated by strangers made it near impossible for him to deal with. 

He could only imagine how Aleks felt in this situation. He had been knocked cold and had been right at death’s door after having his ribs completely crushed in by rubble, and when he awoke he had been in this unfamiliar place surrounded by people he didn’t know. He didn’t know what was happening, and he was certain that these people never bothered with telling him. 

James was feeling anxiety for him. 

He started the video again, gritting his teeth as he watched them make more small incisions on his sides, on his arms, his thighs, his feet, his hands – they made small cuts all over his body. When it appeared as though they wouldn’t heal on their own, they nodded at one another – short and curt. One of the doctor’s held Aleks’ head steady as another pressed a gas mask to his face. They were putting him under. 

He writhed around for some time, fighting back against them and the mask they were putting over his face, but after only a few moments he was out. 

The doctor’s quickly filed out of the room as soon as he was asleep and his heart rate evened out. In the next room, they all stepped behind the camera and watched Aleks from the other side of the glass, making absent comments about the time it took and how deep the incisions were. 

It only took a few moments for the wounds to seal themselves closed. 

They were small incisions so it was difficult to tell, but he could very clearly see them close up on their own, the skin knitting together slowly but surely. 

James had never seen anything like this happening before, but of course he hadn’t been looking for signs of this. He had no idea of how it healed before, and now that he did know, his stomach was in knots.

Those things were inside Aleks, and that meant that they were inside him too. That was how his thumb had healed so fast and without his notice. They weren’t really immune, after all, the infection just worked differently. 

The video ended after a small, meaningless report by the man holding the camera. 

James clicked onto the next video, and he wasn’t surprised that the doctors decided to take their experiments up a notch in the next one. He was certain that they would only get worse and worse as each video progressed, and he was afraid of just how bad they would get. 

The incisions they made were longer and deeper this time. They started slicing in through the soft flesh above his ribs and following the curve of them with the scalpel – a clean and deep cut. The other doctors in the room with him held his head steady and pushed his chest down to keep him from squirming as they did this. He couldn’t shout as the man holding his head used his hands to keep his jaw closed. He could only make muffled noises of pain and fear as they mutilated his body. 

James instinct to protect him was beginning to take over, but he knew there was nothing he could do now. This had happened long ago and there was nothing he could do about it. 

James bit into his bottom lip so hard that he could taste blood, but he couldn’t stop himself. This was only the second video among dozens. 

James closed the video after they repeated the same steps from the first one, strapping the gas mask to his face and walking out of the room briskly. 

He went through video after video, his fists clenched white on the desk in front of him as he reluctantly made his way through all of them. 

It was the last few, however, that caused him to reach his breaking point. 

He scrolled down to the last few videos and reluctantly clicked the very last of them, he wanted to believe that there would be something in this video that would show him what had happened. 

Then he saw the timestamp; the video was only two years old. Aleks had been here, being experimented on, for five whole years until he had been taken away by Luke. 

They had proper leather straps fastened around Aleks now. Two sets around both of his thighs, ankles, around his arms, his chest, his midsection and his head. These people had made sure that he had no room to move. 

Aleks wasn’t making much sound anymore. 

His body had gotten so emaciated since the first set of videos that it made James physically cringe. He was barely responsive now, almost lifeless. They had battered and cut his pride right out of him. Still, however, when he saw the man that was out of the camera’s view, he began struggling and shouting. His voice was completely raw – no doubt from screaming so much. 

The woman standing near him injected something into his IV while he was distracted, and what it was, James wasn’t entirely sure. 

As if answering his silent question, the man on the other side of the camera began speaking. 

“We’re administering a small dose of Adrenaline and a light coagulant to Subject 349 to keep him from fainting during the procedure. We were met with an unfortunate incident after Subject 349 fainted when we tried this procedure last week.”

James reeled back as one of the doctors walked into the shot with a surgical saw in hand. He stood near Aleks’ legs and waited as a woman removed the leather straps from Aleks’ left leg. 

The man started the saw without a second of hesitation. 

The woman standing by Aleks’ head shushed him, acting as if whatever the man was about to do was nothing more than a small ordeal. She shushed him like a woman trying to calm her baby after getting a booster shot. 

James could see Aleks’ heart rate picking up abnormally fast – could hear it – both from the fear and the adrenaline they gave him running through his system. 

As the man began cutting into the fleshy part above his knee, pressing down calmly like he was cutting into butter, James didn’t have the time to pause the video despite wanting nothing more than to stop it. He leaned over and vomited up whatever was left in his stomach, unable to control himself when he heard the saw whirring hard when it reached Aleks’ bones. 

He was torn between violent rage and absolute disgust, two things that he had never experienced at the same time before. 

“Nothing,” James distantly heard the man behind the camera saying. He began talking again, but James couldn’t hear him over his blood rushing to his ears and his stomach roiling. 

After several minutes of vomiting the entire contents of his stomach, long after he thought the video was over, he heard a crash followed by another voice coming from the speakers before him. A booming, snide voice came through – a voice that was all too familiar to him. 

It was Luke. 

“Hand him over, or we’ll get rid of the rest of your subjects.” 

What followed this was the sound of people running around in a flurry, followed by a woman screaming. Several gunshots rang through the air, but whether they were just to calm everyone down or to kill the woman, he didn’t know. 

James looked up and saw that the man that had previously been behind the camera was now standing in front of it, his hands up and his back pressed into the glass behind him.

The doctors that had once been standing next to Aleks were gone.

“You can’t,” the man said, his voice trembling. “We’re making so much progress – we’re so close to a cure. I know it looks bad, but we’ve learned that-”

“I don’t care,” Luke said calmly while shaking his head. “Hand him over. Now.” 

The man stopped, and even though James wasn’t there, he could see a flicker in the man’s eyes. It was brief, but it didn’t go unnoticed. The man clearly had something up his sleeve.

“Fine,” the man said. “Go in and get him.” 

Luke chuffed. 

He couldn’t see anything, but he knew that Luke was getting his lackeys to go in for him. Luke was many things, but dumb wasn’t one of them. 

And he was right, and he watched as the men walked out in front of the camera and into the room that harboured Aleks. 

That was when the man moved from the front of the camera, and James could see that Aleks had been put under already. It didn’t come as a surprise when it didn’t end well for the two soldiers that entered the room. 

The Larkspur lashed them both almost immediately upon entrance. 

Though James could say a lot of bad things about Luke and his soldiers, he could admit that they were smart – at least these ones were. 

They didn’t hesitate for a second. One soldier shot the other in the head, and the other followed suite by shooting himself point blank. They both collapsed to the ground beside Aleks’ still body. 

Luke let out a booming laugh. “So, that’s why you told me to go in there, I take it?”

The man didn’t say a word. Luke moved forward and the camera fell to the ground, only allowing James a look at their feet. 

He watched Luke’s feet, advancing on the doctor until their toes were touching. 

“Once he heals, they’ll stop being active,” the doctor said. “But you can’t just take him, he needs special care. If we don’t dose him properly the infection will kill him, you don’t understand-” 

“We have what we need for him,” Luke said. “I don’t need him around for long. I’ll put him out of his misery after that. I won’t let the infection get any worse.” 

“You’re an animal.” 

Luke took a step back, “you’re calling me an animal?” 

The man, despite his heels being pressed up against the wall already, seemed to sink back even further. 

“You’re calling me the animal and you’ve been here mutilating people for years and years? When we walked in one of your god damn doctors had a surgical saw buried balls-fucking-deep in this guy’s leg while he was still awake. You don’t get to sling that word around so easily after something like that.”

“We’re trying to make a cure, our job as doctors is to heal,” the man shouted back. “The oath we took-”

“’I will do no harm,’” Luke quoted at him. “That was one of the things in your useless oath, so clearly it means nothing to you now. You want to make the cure for notoriety and to protect yourself from turning into one of those things. You’re selfish. The only difference between you and me is that I can admit that, and you can’t.” 

The man appeared to want to argue back, but he said nothing. 

“I want to bring order back,” Luke said. “There is no cure, and you know it. All we can do is control it. I can do that with him, at the very least.” 

“You’re making a mistake.” 

“Everything is gone,” Luke said. “Europe has been wiped clean, Asia is done for, and Canada and the South are hanging on by a thread that’s going to snap clean any day now. I have to do this. We are all that’s left and we’re running on no time now. We can’t waste our time trying to make a cure. All the others did the same, and look where they are now.” 

Luke lifted his foot, and though James couldn’t see it, he heard Luke’s foot come down onto the camera. The video cut to black. 

The room was filled with silence. James could only sit there quietly, hanging his head as he tried to process everything he just heard. He was so lost in his own mind that he didn’t hear Aleks coming up behind him. He was only snapped out of his thoughts when Aleks rested one of his hands on his shoulder. 

James jumped. 

“I know how to stop this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that I have everything figured out - mostly - I can confidently say that there are **really** only two chapters left now. I will say, however, that the last two chapters will be pretty long and dense, but I do hope you guys will like them regardless. :)
> 
> I'm also wondering how you guys would feel about me doing a podfic? I don't exactly have the best voice for narration but I think it might be nice for people who don't have the time to actually stop and read (or the ones who don't feel like it.)
> 
> Anyhow, it is 5am right now and I am completely exhausted. _(」∠ ､ﾝ､)_
> 
> Thank y'all for reading and, as always, I appreciate the sweet comments and kudos. _へ__(‾◡◝ )>


	25. That I Shall Say Goodnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Stop it,” Aleks said. He crumpled to the ground on his knees, his clammy palms pressed over each of his eyes. “Stop it, just stop it.”_

“Do you hear the words coming out of your mouth right now?” Kain asked, one of his eyebrows almost touching his low hairline as he looked at Jordan in disbelief. Kain always humoured Jordan, but this was the fastest Jordan had ever seen him deny him. 

Jordan could only nod is response to Kain’s question. 

“Jordan, Luke is going to get us a cure. He’s the only person left here that has doctors with any kind of real medical experience – he’s our only hope to get out of this mess right now. This is the end of the line for us if we don’t pull through for him – feelings are not optional at this point.” 

“No, he’s not our only hope,” Jordan said confidently. “There’s something else going on here – there’s way too much coming out at the very last minute for all of this to go off without a hitch. I know you see it too, I know you’re not blind to this.” 

“That Washington thing was just him being cautious, if that’s what you’re talking about,” Kain said. “You know how Luke likes to lay things out for everyone at the very last minute. He was afraid to scare us and have us drop out on him right before he got what he wanted. I don’t think there’s anything weird about it. He never intended for us to go to Washington, so why would he bring it up?” 

“He promised absolute transparency with things that concerned Aleks and James, and Washington had a whole heck of a lot to do with Aleks,” Jordan said, clearing his throat as he had gotten too loud. “This came out all of a sudden, and the only reason he said it was because he felt trapped into telling us about it.” 

“And?” 

“What do you mean, and?” Jordan squeaked, his voice cracking like that of a teenager. “He was hiding something huge from us – he didn’t tell us anything about those experiments getting out and still being alive. He just told us that they were people like Aleks who had some sort of immunity to the infection, and that was the end of that. That isn’t something little that you accidentally leave out of your story.” 

“How would he have known they had gotten out for sure?” Kain asked. “Luke just said it got quiet in Washington, he even said that he wasn’t sure if they actually got out. I’m sure he reasoned with himself that it wasn’t important so long as he had Aleks. If he had told us they had gotten out it would only stir unnecessary fear and worries in people anyways.”

“That doesn’t matter, he still should have told us that everything went dead in Washington.”

“I don’t see what you’re getting at,” Kain said, close enough that puffs of his hot breath were mingling with Jordan’s in the cool night air. “James is the way to the cure, we know that, so what he lied to us about before means nothing right now. We need James. We need a cure. Luke’s white lies can be ignored for now. Let’s deal with this after.” 

Jordan couldn’t accept that. “We know now that Aleks absolutely was not the way to a cure,” Jordan said. “Luke accepted that as soon as his tests yielded no results and he immediately jumped to James without even thinking twice. There’s something more going on here. It’s too strange how he suddenly asked about James the last time we met. Why would he assume James, of all people, was the person we actually needed all along? There was no reason for him to believe that or even consider it.”

There was hesitation there before Kain spoke, but it didn’t go unnoticed by Jordan. When Kain hesitated, it meant he was considering something. “He figured that James was the key after he got Aleks back and didn’t get sick from coming into contact with him. He didn’t assume right away, either, Jordan. Remember, he asked us if James had any kind of physical contact with Aleks, and when you told him everything he went from there. He didn’t just guess. You’re reaching.” 

“No,” Jordan said. Though he often didn’t speak against Kain or disregard his reasoning, this time he knew he needed to really drive this at him until he sat and thought about it. “There’s been something wrong from the start.” 

Kain snorted, “really, Jordan? You’re seriously going to start with your conspiracy theories now, of all times?” 

“He hates James,” Jordan said with a scowl. “He hates him for what he did, he was completely out of it, and yet he didn’t kill him? He knew he would need James eventually. Any normal man that actually loved and cared for his wife would have killed the man that hurt her, and yet he let James walk with only a little bartering. Christ, he could have destroyed our entire camp without batting an eyelash, and yet he spared us all. Luke is not that type of man.” 

Kain didn’t say anything. Instead, he crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked at Jordan to go on. Jordan could always count on the fact that Kain would always humour him even if he thought he was speaking nonsense.

“Luke gets a hold of Aleks suddenly after letting James go, and he performs countless experiments with him. When those yield no results, suddenly he’s gone and James has the perfect opportunity to get Aleks. It’s almost like Luke wanted James to get Aleks all along, like he wanted to see what would happen with James. How did someone like James breach such a secure area and kidnap someone Luke considered very important so easily? It doesn’t make sense.” 

“You’re really reaching now,” Kain said, stopping Jordan before he could go any deeper. 

“I’m not, and you know it. There’s something else going on here, and it isn’t good.” 

Kain bit his bottom lip as he quietly regarded Jordan, and Jordan knew that meant he was contemplating what he said to him. Kain was not a dumb man. “What else did you want to tell me, then?”

“I think that Luke let those things out on purpose to see what they could do – to see how far they could get,” Jordan said. 

“What purpose would that serve anyone? They’re a danger, Jordan, to everyone.” 

“That’s exactly it,” Jordan said. “He wanted to see how dangerous they were. I don’t think he’s looking for a cure, I think he’s looking to make a weapon.” 

Kain stopped dead in his tracks before letting out a wheeze, laughing humourlessly, “right.” 

Jordan grabbed him by the elbow, stopping him before he could turn away. “I’m serious, Kain.” 

Kain ripped his arm out of Jordan’s grip, but he didn’t break eye contact or laugh him off this time. 

“Please, believe me about this one. You need to think about this.” 

Kain worried his bottom lip before nodding his head slowly. “Look, Jordan,” he whispered. “I’m not going to act on this unless I know that something is up for sure. I’m going to give Luke the benefit of the doubt for now. I would rather not screw up our chance to cure this mess without any proof that Luke has other plans – which I truly believe he doesn’t. But I’ll watch.” 

Kain, no matter what people said about him being a violent brute, was perhaps the most sensible person Jordan knew. He knew when and how to listen, and he knew when not to listen. 

“Thank you,” Jordan said. “Really.”

\-----

“Let’s go,” Aleks said. 

“Wait, Aleks,” James stood from the chilly metal chair, grabbing Aleks by one of his sleeves before he could take off at a run again. “Stop for a second and talk to me.” 

Aleks turned to look at him. 

His other eye was getting bad. 

“How do we stop this?” 

“We need to kill Luke.”

“Well, yeah.” James said with his head cocked. “He kind of is in our way, the problem with that is that there will probably be hundreds upon hundreds of people guarding him. It’s not exactly something we can easily accomplish.” 

“There’s a place in Canada,” Aleks said, shrugging off James’ worries. “Most of everything is dead and gone now, but there’s a hospital in Canada that’s still holding out. I remember them talking about it.” 

“And?” 

“They can make a cure.” 

“Well, technically speaking, so can Luke. It’s why he’s after us, after all.” 

“No,” Aleks shouted. “Luke wants the opposite.” 

“What do you mean?”

“I was the first step to what he wanted,” Aleks said. “I remember everything now.” There was an unreadable expression on Aleks’ face following these words, but James didn’t have the time or the energy to start picking it apart. 

“What? Aleks, you’re scaring me-”

“What they did to me – when Luke came in and took me away – I remember it all now. I hid something, something just for you, but we need to go and get it.”

Aleks was not acting like himself. 

\-----

“This is a better time than any,” Luke said. “So long as we have the day on our side, we’re fine. If we can get them out of the CDC before nightfall, then we’re really in business.” 

“Right, but getting there is one thing, getting them both out alive is another thing entirely.” 

“We don’t need Aleks,” Luke said easily. “As long as we can get James out of there, we’re home free.”

Jordan looked up suddenly, “what?” 

“The only thing we needed him for was to lure James. We can even kill him if he gets in the way, because honestly, it doesn’t matter anymore. James is what we really needed all along, and we can’t let Aleks jeopardize that.” 

Kain and Jordan both shared a look behind Luke’s back. It was brief, but it was enough to tell Jordan that Kain was becoming suspicious of Luke. 

Kain snorted, falling back into his passive demeanor with ease, “then what was the point of keeping Aleks at all. James will go ballistic if you hurt-” 

“We were testing something, but it didn’t work,” Luke said. “Obviously, he’s fucking dying. You can’t exactly do much with someone whose cells are dying so rapidly. James must know that Aleks is dying by now.” 

“How long did you know he was dying for?” 

Luke stopped his horse, and all the men behind him followed suite. 

This is what made Luke a truly formidable foe. People followed Luke easily and without question because of the confidence he exuded, even Kain’s own men stopped when they did when he did. 

He wondered, absently, how many of them would have his back if he decided to turn against Luke. He was certain not many of them, especially where James’ and Aleks’ safety were concerned. 

Luke doing this was a display of his power – he was warning Kain not to misstep. 

Kain looked over his shoulder at them and stopped beside Luke himself. He didn’t need to push, and Jordan knew that just as much as he did. 

“I hope you’re not second guessing this,” Luke said. “I am trying to find a cure here, no matter how unorthodox it may seem to you. Fixing things isn’t always pretty. No matter what, there will always be casualties. If Aleks happens to be one of those casualties, then so be it.”

Kain nodded slowly. “Right. I know that.” 

This poor reassurance, however, only served to show Kain that Luke was craftily dodging Kain’s question. He had a politician’s answer for everything. 

Kain shared another look with Jordan. 

“But I need to know what we’re doing here,” Kain pushed warily. He was always daring, reckless at times, but usually for the right reasons. 

Luke chuckled. 

“I’m not kidding,” Kain said, too quiet for the stalled soldiers behind them to hear over the rushing wind and the restless tapping of their horses’ hooves. 

“You can’t pull out now,” Luke said, shaking his head. “You know what’ll happen if you do. Either my men will kill you, or the Larkspur in that city will hunt you down before you get out. You’re trapped.” 

“Then tell me what we’re doing,” Kain said, a lopsided grin stretching his weather-battered skin. “If you know my hand is caught, then it won’t matter if I know.” 

“I don’t want to hurt you, Kain,” Luke said with a shrug. “I think you’re an alright man, you stick to your word and you’re loyal to your people.” 

“Then tell me what I’m getting into here.” 

Luke cocked his head, his eyes staring coldly back at Kain. 

“Fine,” Luke said, “we can’t make a cure.” 

Kain grit his teeth. Jordan’s suspicions had been right all along. 

“I thought that you guys already started figuring that out when I asked for James, so I might as well settle you before it gets out of hand.” 

Kain shook his head in disbelief. 

“We can protect ourselves like this,” Luke said to Kain, as if that made it any better. “We can make weapons out of people,” Luke said, “we can get rid of those rogue bandits once and for all and still protect ourselves all the same. This is making the best out of a really, really shitty situation. A cure isn’t possible, but we can protect ourselves as we rebuild.”

Kain coughed a laugh. “Luke, we’re hunting people down to hurt them and make weapons out of them – think about that. No one is willingly going to offer themselves up to become one of those things, and you know that.”

Luke shrugged, “those are things we’ll deal with after we get James.” 

“It’s wrong.” 

“Is it?” Luke asked, tugging on the reins of his horse to bring him nose to nose with Kain. “We’ve both killed our fair share of people – even some innocents – and this will put an end to it once and for all. We need to weigh our options. Sacrifice a few dozens for the many, or let two escape and deal with the hell that’s only inches from our doorsteps and it’s creeping closer and closer every day. We can’t let everything die.” 

Kain looked away from Luke’s icy eyes, looking up at the sky as if the clouds held all the answers. 

“We’re out of time, and we don’t have any other options,” Luke said. “Now let’s go. We’ll worry about the details after we get out of Washington safely.” 

\-----

 

“It’s morning,” Aleks said. “We should go now.” 

James was a little taken aback by everything happening so quickly, but he nodded his head despite this. There was one thing that still weighed heavily on his mind, however. He didn’t want to bring it up with Aleks, but he knew he needed to do it if he wanted answers. 

“You remember everything?” 

“Yes.” Aleks said. 

“Then-” James started. 

“I’ll be able to give you all the answers soon,” Aleks said. “Come on, I don’t have much time.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Come on,” Aleks shouted. He grabbed James by one of his warn out shirt sleeves and dragged him behind him toward the twin double doors. 

“There’s a Larkspur up there,” James said. “We can’t.” 

“They want nothing to do with us.” 

“Are you crazy?” James asked incredulously. “Those things chased us through that tunnel, one chased us all through the hospital, and one of them threw itself into me and damn near crushed me to death.” 

Aleks shook his head. 

“We don’t smell like food to them and we also don’t smell like humans,” Aleks said. “To them I’m just another one of them that hasn’t turned yet, but you’re something else. They won’t actively try to kill you.” 

James grit his teeth, “you’re being crazy.” 

“Just trust me,” Aleks said, staring James down. “Please.”

Though Aleks’ eyes were damaged, both of his pupils milky looking and nowhere near the same as he remembered, this was still undoubtedly Aleks. The way he set his jaw when he was determined, the rigidness of his shoulders, right down to the way he pulled his lips in and worried them between his teeth. This was all Aleks. 

“Ok,” James said with a quick nod. “Ok.”

This was Aleks, and he trusted him more than anyone else. 

Aleks grabbed James by the arm once again, but with less force this time. He led him into the elevator and helped him up through the roof. His actions seemed tired and weak, but James tried not to think on it too much. 

Then he saw it when he looked up. The same Larkspur from earlier was still there, trying its best to push open the elevator doors. 

“It could still accidentally hurt us, right?” 

Aleks nodded. 

“Should I kill it?” 

Aleks hesitated, staring up at the creature as it fruitlessly tried to pry the doors open, nodding his head after a lengthy stare, “yes.” 

James pulled out his gun and shot the creature in the head without a second of hesitation. 

“Now let’s go,” Aleks said. “Hurry.” 

James jumped and just barely grasped the floor. He pulled himself through the rusted elevator doors after some careful manoeuvering before turning around and offering his hand for Aleks. 

Aleks grabbed hold and allowed himself to be pulled up. It appeared that he had very little strength to do anything at this point. 

Whatever it was that he wanted to show James, it was important enough to him that he was exerting all his remaining energy on it. 

“We need to go fast though,” Aleks said. “I can hear more of them heading this way.” 

“I can’t hear anything.” 

“I know,” Aleks said, shaking his head. “Come on.” 

James started running beside him. Aleks didn’t remove his hand from James’ sleeve, but he knew now that Aleks was doing it for comfort more than to prevent James from getting away from him. 

They began running back down the halls, Aleks again leading him without so much as a glance up at the maps. There was a reason for this, however, and James would get to the bottom of it soon enough. He trusted Aleks – he was the only person left that he actually could.

“There’s one behind us,” Aleks said as he took another corner. James hadn’t had time to memorize these hallways before, but now he took his time to keep track of where Aleks was going. 

James looked over his shoulder briefly, as if expecting to see one at any moment, then looked back at Aleks. He knew Aleks would warn him if one were dangerously close, and he wanted to keep track of where Aleks was going. 

Aleks didn’t need to warn him, however. 

The Larkspur came crashing down the hall, making more noise than James would have expected considering how quiet they all were in the tunnels. It slammed into a door at the end of a hall they turned down, causing the sturdy oak door to shatter like glass on the unforgiving ground. The creature fell into the room with it, but it was up and chasing them in a matter of seconds. 

It was hot on their trail now, and James didn’t know what to expect if it got a hold of them. Aleks said that it would not hurt him as it believed he was the same as them, but James was different to them. They could perceive him as a threat, after all, as anything was possible at this point. 

No one knew anything about James’ strain of the disease, even these monsters that were completely ravaged by it. 

So they ran headlong through the halls and down the stairs. 

James was starting to remember where everything was as they ran – he remembered the way Aleks had dragged him through the halls as if he were nothing more than a bag of rocks. 

He could see the door in the distance, the shattered glass and blood from the Larkspur giving it away as light shone brightly off of its surface. 

They were both so caught up with staring at the glass and the blood, silently craving the heat of the sun and cold air outside that they didn’t think about what – or who – might be standing on the other side of that broken door. 

They wouldn’t have had time to stop if they wanted to, however, as the Larkspur behind them was growing furious, charging at them full force even as they came close to the sun spilling through the roof and the broken door. 

James didn’t think much – didn’t have to think much – as when they reached the outside doors he pulled Aleks down to the ground beside him, covering his head as if that would protect them at all if the creature bodily threw itself at them both. 

It didn’t hit them, however. 

It only took a quick glance up to realize that it hadn’t been furious about them – it hadn’t even been chasing them. 

It had been chasing the scent coming from outside. 

Even as the sunlight withered it quickly – its branches and leaves turning fluorescent yellow in the sun and its blue petals turning dark and slipping to the cement – it threw itself into the crowd of men standing outside. 

They didn’t have much time to react to what was happening. There were screams of shock, fear, horror, and pain ringing through the air, shocking after all the silence they had been subject to for so long. 

When James looked up, in front of him he saw Kain and Luke with Jordan off to the side of them, staring wide eyed at the creature that had flung itself over their heads and into the middle of a group of soldiers. 

It had killed a good 5 people in doing that, and he was certain that all the people around it had been lashed. Chaos was about to break loose in the middle of D.C., and night would be upon them shortly. It would only get worse from there. 

After the shocks died down and several gunshots rang clean through the air, the city grew eerily quiet once again. After suddenly hearing so much noise and fanfare, it was a shock when the silence fell back over them. 

“Get them,” Luke said, his voice booming in the silent city. He spoke to the two geared soldiers that stood silently behind him. “Just don’t kill James.” 

James and Aleks didn’t give Luke a chance to finish that last thought as they ran in the opposite direction of the horses. 

Though they hadn’t said anything to one another, they both seemed to have the same thought as they began running back toward the tunnel they had just narrowly escaped not even a day ago. 

Though before James had considered the Larkspur to be even more horrifying than Luke, after seeing the man’s face again he realized that wasn’t true at all. 

The only problem they faced now was the fact that James and Aleks no longer had a horse – Luke’s men did. 

They could both hear the horses swiftly coming up behind them, however, they could also hear the creatures in the tunnel despite how far away they were. He could also see the sun beginning to settle on the horizon. 

He was sure Luke was squirming at this point. 

James looked up at the sun that was hiding behind a tall, monotone grey skyscraper. If they could somehow hold these people off for a little while longer, then there might be some hope for them after all. 

James could see a small tranquilizer whiz passed his head, and he knew that they were now running on nothing but the hope that night would fall quickly. 

Aleks grabbed hold of James’ wrist and dragged him toward a tall building. The doors to it were wide open, but the stairs inside looked narrow and difficult to manoeuver with a horse. These men would have to follow them on foot, and though James knew he couldn’t fight them off because of the amount of body armour they wore, the more time they wasted the better. 

No amount of body armour would be able to hold off a handful of Larkspur, after all.

Aleks, however, seemed to have chosen this building for another reason. He was determined to get into this building in particular. 

“Get them, now,” James could hear Luke shouting off in the distance. They were all following them, letting the two soldiers lead the charge so as not to accidentally let James and Aleks slip away in the crowd.

Again, Luke was not a dumb man. 

James could hear the anxiety in Luke’s voice – could practically see it on his face – as they easily slipped into another building. 

He knew those things would come out at night, but how or why James didn’t know. All he knew was that he was sure Luke had a lot more to do with this than it seemed on the surface. He looked too unsurprised when the Larkspur jumped at his men – he was fixated only on James and Aleks. 

Aleks dragged him up the first flight of steps. He could hear the soldiers quickly dismounting and following behind them.

“Come,” Aleks whispered, yanking on James’ arm as he tried to climb up to the third floor. 

“We can’t stop on the second floor,” James whispered harshly even though he followed behind Aleks as soon as he had begun to lead him. 

“Just trust me,” Aleks said. “Quickly.” 

And James did. He didn’t say a word even as the soldiers behind them shouted that they knew where they were and began chasing them down the hallway. 

“Here,” Aleks said, standing in front of the door. “This was it, I remember this. I know this place.” 

Aleks threw his shoulder into the door, and what James heard on the other side of the door let him know what was there and what Aleks was planning to do. 

The door swung open after Aleks threw his shoulder into it a second time and a Larkspur threw itself out with so much force that it collapsed some of the wood panelling on the walls inside the building. 

The soldiers reacted quickly. They drew their guns and began shooting – but they weren’t quite quick enough for the creature. 

It took them both down in the narrow hallway without a problem. One of the branches wrapped around one of the soldier’s throats and the pallid hands of the creature pressed hard into the other man’s chest until they could both hear his ribs cracking and caving in like eggshells beneath the pressure. 

Despite this, he still managed to press the trigger of his gun one last time, blowing a hole into the side of the head of the host, causing it to collapse, its hand still pressing hard into the chest of the soldier on the ground. 

They were all dead. The two men and the Larkspur. 

“Fuck,” James said as he looked at the mess before them. “Holy fuck.”

“Come on,” Aleks said as he led him into the room that he had opened. “I left it here.” 

James was curious about what could hold all the answers to his question, but before he could even play with the thought, Aleks pulled a ratty leather-bound notebook out from inside a drawer and handed it to James. 

“Please tell me this isn’t another password,” James said. 

“It isn’t,” Aleks promised. “When Luke first took me away I managed to run off after waking up. I ran and hid here with another person – the Larkspur that’s down the hall – but I knew they would find me eventually. I wrote in this notebook for someone to find and get the word out, but I didn’t think at the time that it would be you.”

“Why can’t you just tell me all this stuff?” James asked. 

“We don’t have time,” Aleks said. “I would if I could, but I don’t have time to tell you everything. It’s more complicated than I can explain.”

Right on cue, the sound of footsteps walking into the building caught their attention. 

“Through here,” Aleks said, motioning toward a cracked window. 

The one good thing about D.C. was the fact that there were so many large buildings – all practically pressed up against one another – that it wasn’t difficult to manoeuvre from one building to the next. 

Aleks slid the window open with relative ease and climbed into the adjacent building with James following quickly behind. 

They shut the window behind them – as if that would make any difference – and they once again began running. They ran to the other side of the building and into a random room, repeating exactly what they had done before. 

They tried to make their pattern erratic, but James knew that they couldn’t get very far like this. Eventually Luke would have men swarming every one of the buildings. 

Aleks, once again seemed to know exactly what he was doing. He had taken this route at one point or another, that much was clear. This would buy them some time, if only a few extra minutes to work with.

“We’ll go through the back door,” Aleks said over his shoulder when they crawled through into the fifth building. It was only now that they heard the sound of the other soldiers that were sent coming up behind them. 

“Ok,” James said with a quick nod. 

This seemed like an endless loop to him. Running through doors, hiding, running, and hiding, it never really ended for the two of them. He wanted it to end – but he was afraid of what kind of ending they would get. 

What kind of ending would they get? 

They ran through the back door of the building that led out into the middle of an alleyway, fully expecting there to be no one on the other side. However, it seemed as though Luke and Kain had other plans for them. 

Again, always one step ahead. 

“Don’t forget that this is where I found you last time,” Luke said to Aleks. “But, I had a funny feeling you would try to same dumb manoeuvre on me. You weren’t yourself then, and you aren’t yourself now.” 

James turned to run in the other direction but there were horses trapping them from either side. He didn’t even need to turn around to know that they couldn’t come back from where they came as there were soldiers that had been chasing them coming up on them quickly. 

“Please, let’s just make this easy,” Luke said with a sigh. “Come with us, and we won’t have to kill Ale-”

Twin shots rang through the air. 

James had come to expect the unexpected in situations like this, but he could not have seen this one coming. He wouldn’t have even imagined something like this happening. 

Kain raised his gun and shot Luke through the shoulder, however his second shot missed as a soldier stepped in the way of the bullet. Kain was not one to miss, but James could see even from where he stood that his arms were shaking. 

He had never seen Kain like this before.

Anyone would be shaking in this situation, even level-headed Kain. Even Jordan, the person he would have most expected this from most, stood in stunned silence, looking at Kain in absolute disbelief.

There was a moment of stunned silence between everyone, like no one could believe what just happened. Then, almost as suddenly as Kain shot his gun, the shooting started. 

It was hard to tell who was on what side as none of the soldiers sported their camp colours, but it didn’t seem to matter to these soldiers. They were manic, and everyone shot everyone and everything in sight. 

“Go,” Kain yelled over the roaring madness breaking out between the two camps. His voice distinct to James’ ears even though he couldn’t see him through the crowd of people and horses. “Fucking go.” 

It was a good call. 

There was so much chaos going on between the two camps that the people they passed barely bothered with them, some only sparing them a passing glance and others making weak grabs for them from their horses. These people wanted a fight, and capturing James and Aleks quietly wasn’t what they wanted – so they let them pass in hopes of being able to hunt them down after they got their fill of the chaos. 

They would soon come to regret even taking arms against one another, however, as the sun finally drifted – slow like cold honey – behind the horizon. 

The sky was still a warm, ruddy red, but the sun being gone was more than enough for the Larkspur. It only took the Larkspur moments to reach them all after the sun had disappeared from sight. 

They had a lot of soldiers, all of them together probably outnumbering the Larkspur one to five, but because their ranks were split and their inexperience with them, it was possible that these creatures could overtake them completely. On top of the fact that these creatures were incredibly vicious, they could also infect other people like regular Larkspur. 

If a soldier in the crowd happened to turn faster than all the others, then they would be completely out of luck. And judging by how many Larkspur came their way, there was a very good chance of that happening. 

James made sure to keep a tight hold of Aleks’ wrists, careful not to lose him in the violent crowd as he saw the first Larkspur cresting the hill. 

The first of many. 

James pulled him into an alleyway only seconds before the creature ran at lightning speed past them and threw itself into the crowd. 

There were more coming their way, and James didn’t want to stay behind to find out what was about to happen here.

Instead of running out and into their path again, he flattened himself to the wall and began inching his way through the impossibly tight space between the two buildings that made up the alleyway. Aleks followed behind without a word, not wanting to put himself in possible danger. Though the Larkspur seemed to want nothing to do with them when there was human prey in sight, the stray bullets whizzing through the air and the weight of the creatures alone were dangers enough. 

After a few snags on the busted brick wall, they both made it out unscathed. The only thing that followed them through was the sounds of the soldiers screaming and rapid shots being fired as the Larkspur tore their way through their ranks, impervious to pain and attacking until they could no longer move. 

Now James finally understood what Luke planned to do.

The Larkspur didn’t care about what side these people were on, they attacked blindly and without any known cause.

They would be the perfect weapon for someone like Luke. 

After one quick glance back they both ran down the road after making it through to the other side, trying their best to ignore the sounds of screaming coming from what seemed like every possible direction. The only thing on their mind was getting out of D.C. and getting to Canada before any of the soldiers had a chance to come after them. 

James believed Aleks – he believed him that there were people there that were still looking for a cure. The people here were corrupt, but there were still some good people working for the better and against all odds. He knew it. 

So they ran. 

They ran without turning back and looking at the people who were dying behind them. Even if Kain had a sudden change of heart about what was happening, it didn’t change the fact that both he and Jordan had conspired against him for years and years and that it was their fault that they were even in this situation to begin with. 

James wouldn’t worry about them. 

The only problem they were facing at this point was the fact that he and Aleks didn’t have a horse. It would be difficult to travel on foot, especially with the condition Aleks was in. And if Luke and Kain’s men managed to kill the Larkspur and continue with their pursuit, they wouldn’t get very far. 

They had no other choice, however. They would both just have to hope that the Larkspur would finish them all off, and if they didn’t, they could only hope that it would scare the remaining stragglers away. 

As they ran down the road, their weather-beaten shoes slapping against the cooling cement, they heard someone coming up behind them. A man was running up behind them, gun in hand and pointed directly at them. 

It appeared that some of the soldiers still remembered where their loyalties rested, as this was clearly one of Luke’s men that was still hoping to impress him. 

“Stop,” he yelled, waving the gun around as if to intimidate them. He knew that Luke had given orders for them to not harm them, so they continued running. If the man really wanted to impress Luke, then he would shoot at them. 

They could only hope. 

But their hopes were rewarded as the man cursed and continued running toward them, still holding onto the gun as if that would scare them after all that had happened.

“Come on,” Aleks said over his shoulder, leading James into another alleyway. He didn’t know where they were headed at this point. In his life, James had never been to Washington, and the one time he had been here they were being chased. He only hoped that Aleks still knew what he was doing – without him, James would be a lost cause. 

The alley wasn’t as tight as the one before, and they managed to get through with relative ease. The man behind them, however, had no plans on giving up on chasing them. 

James believed they were home free from here, but Aleks’ illness seemed to choose the worst times to spike. 

When they made it through the tight alley Aleks collapsed to the ground. He hadn’t fainted, but James could tell just by looking at him that he was very ill. Only someone very sick would drop to the ground in this kind of situation. 

“Are you OK?” James asked, kneeling down beside him. 

“No,” Aleks said. “I don’t think I can get up anymore.” 

James bit his lip and without a second thought picked Aleks up bridal style. “I’m sorry, I know you don’t like this but we need to get out of here before that guy catches up with us.” 

Aleks nodded weakly. 

The short stop, however, gave the man behind them just enough time to catch up. He came up on them so quickly that James didn’t have time to react when he pressed the barrel of his gun to his head. 

That alone, however, was a bad choice on the man’s part. 

James played along with him, or planned to, for a short bit. He knew the man wouldn’t shoot if he did anything – knew he couldn’t – but he didn’t want to test that theory recklessly. 

“Down on your knees,” the man shouted. 

“What are you, a cop?” James asked. 

When James didn’t listen the man kicked him in the back of the knees, causing him to fall to the ground with a groan. 

“Hands behind your back,” he said. James could hear him digging around in his pockets, the sounds of chains all too familiar to his ears. 

He really was acting like a cop. 

When James didn’t do as he said, he grabbed him by the hair and yanked his head back so they were both eye-to-eye. 

“Hands behind your back,” he grit through his teeth at James. 

James had never seen his face before, so it was obvious that it was one of Luke’s soldiers. What he didn’t know was whether or not this was a good thing or a bad thing for him. 

He garnered that neither options were good ones for them, at least at this point. 

Without a second thought James shot back and slammed his head into the man’s face. It hurt him and disoriented him to do so, but he managed to get away from the man who was clutching at what looked to be a broken nose.

James stood and began running again but was quickly stopped by a hand on his shoulder, roughly dragging both he and Aleks to the ground. He hadn’t expected it, so he fell quickly and hard. 

He heard a gunshot, and then the sound of someone’s body dropping lifelessly to the ground.

“Fuck,” he heard someone saying. “These fuckers are quick, no wonder they got out here so far.” 

When James looked up, there was a different man standing above them and the voices of two others coming from behind them. 

These were Kain’s men. 

He recognized them this time.

Kain’s men, unlike Luke’s men, had another bone to pick with him completely. Luke’s men wanted honour, but Kain’s men wanted nothing more then to get some revenge on James. 

He twisted to look at the person they had shot, and his suspicions had been right – lying on the ground was Luke’s soldiers – the man’s whose nose he had broken in their scuffle. He would have felt bad for this execution-style death they had given him if not for the fact that he had been trying to capture him. 

He felt a boot come down heavy on his gut, causing him to sputter out whatever air was left in his lungs. 

Kain’s soldier laughed. 

These were people that he could not fight back with. They didn’t care about Luke – he was certain that these people would shoot if they really wanted to. They wouldn’t hesitate to kill both him and Aleks. 

“You know who I am, right?” He asked. 

James didn’t. He hardly remembered any of Kain’s soldiers, even the ones he had led on raids and the like. He just never bothered to remember them – he hadn’t cared. He did vaguely remember his face, however. 

The man threw his head back and sighed, letting out a weak chuckle, “wow, you really are a shitty person.” 

James wouldn’t say anything; he couldn’t say anything. He was a shitty person, that he knew without a doubt. 

The man grabbed him by his tight curls, lifting him to his knees beside Aleks, whose head was hung low. 

“Remember that camp with the old white-haired bastard?” The soldier asked. “The one that had all the crosses super-glued to his house? I feel like even you would remember something like that.” 

James did remember him. Though the camp itself hadn’t seemed like much of a threat, things turned bad quickly and Jordan had been taken to this man. They had still managed to raze the camp, but James had done a lot to get Jordan out safely.

“Jordan was captured by him,” the man said, “and in exchange for him you offered him anything he wanted.”

James didn’t say anything. 

“He asked for ‘three of your most strapping young men’. I believe that’s how he put it, anyway.” 

James remembered this all too well as the man dredged up all those memories, but he let the man continue on with his story despite this. 

“You gave him the go ahead and even let him pick from the crowd,” the man laughed. “Do you know what that fucker did to us before you and Kain finally showed up to take over the camp?” 

James didn’t dare to respond. He knew a nod or a head shake would both get him beaten within an inch of his life. 

“No, no of course you don’t,” he said. He lifted one of his hands and showed James that he was missing three of them on one hand. 

“This isn’t even the half of it, I was one of the lucky ones,” he said. “He killed one of the guys with a heated knife, and he made a fucking eunuch out of another. When you got us out of there you didn’t even care to look sad or worried about anyone, all you cared about was slaughtering that camp and having more time to run off and find your dumb whore.”

James’ brows finally furrowed at this. 

“See,” he shouted. “You didn’t react to anything I just said until I mentioned him.” The soldier grabbed Aleks under the chin, lifting his head to get a better look at his face. 

“I’m sorry,” James said quickly, as if that would stop the man from hurting Aleks. 

He let out a humourless chuff, twisting Aleks’ head from side to side. He wasn’t paying attention to James. 

“What so great about this?” He asked. “He’s plain and his eyes are disgusting. What’s wrong with him?” The man’s grip tightened until Aleks was gasping for air. 

“Stop,” James said. “Stop, I’m sorry, ok? I’m sorry I was so terrible, but you don’t know how much-”

“Don’t fucking start with that ‘you don’t know how much I’ve been through’ shit. We’ve all been through stuff – stop acting like the tragic protagonist.” The man firmed his grip just a notch tighter before finally letting go, leaving Aleks gasping and heaving for air on the ground. 

James tensed up, but prevented himself from acting. If he did something reckless out of anger, then Aleks might end up in even worse condition than he already was. 

“You were reckless alright, but only with our lives,” the man spat. “Now, here I am, with the perfect excuse to blow your fucking brains out.” 

“They’ll kill you.” 

“They’re all dying anyways,” he said. “They’re all attacking each other without a thought and those monsters are tearing into the ones that made it out unscathed. I mean, it’s only a matter of seconds before they get us too, right? I might as well make this count and really have it out with you.” 

James grit his teeth. 

“I’m done monologue-ing at you, anyways,” the man said, holding the barrel on the gun to James’ forehead. The metal was pressed so hard to his forehead that he was certain it would leave an angry red mark. 

The marks on his skin, however, were the least of his worries. He needed to think of something, and quickly. 

That was when he saw it. 

The Larkspur was quite far off behind them, but James wouldn’t give it long before it reached them. He just needed to make them some time – even a little time would help them at this point. 

“Stop,” James said, keeping his eyes pinned on the man in front of him. He didn’t want to give what he was doing away, and looking anywhere but at the man would raise suspicion. 

The man huffed a laugh. 

Just a few more seconds. 

“I’m really sorry,” James said. His apology was sincere, he truly was sorry for what he had done as well as what he was about to do. But, Aleks was important to him, much more important than this man that he had neglected. 

“That doesn’t cut it, and it never will,” he said, resting his thumb on the hammer of the gun. James listened to the click, and closed his eyes. 

This might very well be it. 

He grit his teeth when he heard the swishing of the branches from the Larkspur and ducked his head down. He knew the soldier must have heard it as well as he turned around quickly. Just a brief moment of distraction, however, gave James the upper hand. 

James crouched down and swung his leg out at the man’s knees, subsequently knocking him to the ground. His gun went off, but as he fell it was pointed directly at the sky. It missed both him and Aleks. 

The man moved to get up after them but the Larkspur was already on him, crushing him under its weight and lashing him without giving him a chance to ready his gun again. He cursed as the thing pummeled him within an inch of his life, not stopping until James could hear bones snapping and wet cartilage breaking like wet branches. 

He didn’t want to be around to hear the rest. 

“Come on,” James said to Aleks, who stared in horror at the man lying dead beneath the Larkspur. “Let’s go.” 

Aleks finally shook his head, following close behind James as he ran down the street. 

They weaved through building after building, ran straight down long, empty roads, and made their way through empty parking lots and massive, flora strewn, buildings. They couldn’t hear anything behind them the further they went, but that didn’t mean they wanted to take any chances with that. 

They only stopped when morning started to shine through the urban jungle that was Washington, holing up inside a small building together as they listened closely to what was going on outside. 

Nothing. 

It was dead silent outside, and nothing could be heard but the rushing of wind through the cracks in the building as well as the sound of the dying flora around them reacting to the cool air permeating through the building. 

“I don’t think they’re gone,” Aleks said quietly. His lids were growing heavy, James could see that. 

“What?” James said incredulously. “There’s no way anyone could live through something like that. Either they killed each other or the Larkspur finished them all off.” 

“I just know they’re not,” Aleks said. 

James didn’t want to argue with him, particularly when he was tired like this, so he quieted down and nodded his head at Aleks. 

James watched as Aleks’ lids grew heavy, slipping closed. Aleks fought it, however, and tried to open his eyes wide every time they shut. 

“Just sleep,” James said. “You know that if anything happens, I’ll wake you up.” 

“We should keep going,” Aleks said. 

“No,” James said. “We’ve done more than enough running to last us a lifetime, we need to relax for a bit before we start again. We don’t even have a horse now so we need to save our energy.” 

Aleks sucked his plump bottom lip between his teeth again, chewing on the dark skin in thought. 

“It’s going to be fine,” James said. “Sleep.” 

“I can’t sleep – I don’t have much time,” he said. “You don’t understand.”

“Stop saying that,” James said seriously. “I don’t want you thinking like that, so stop. I’m being serious.” 

“I’m being serious,” Aleks repeated back to him. “I’m afraid I won’t wake up the next time I sleep, so please, don’t take this so lightly. Can’t you see that there’s something horribly wrong with me? Didn’t the hospital tell you enough? You know exactly what’s wrong with me now. There’s no excuse for you to be talking to me like this is something that can be fixed with rest.” 

“You’re different,” James said. “You’re different, your infection doesn’t-”

“But I still have it,” Aleks said, speaking over James harshly. “It’s still there, and it’s never leaving. My immunity was just a little stronger than others, that’s all there is to it. There is still no cure, and I’m still infected. That will never change.” 

James had nothing at all for a retort here, so he closed his mouth. He grit his teeth, wishing that there was something he could say to Aleks to make this better for him. There wasn’t anything he could say, however. Aleks knew himself more than anyone, and he knew how to infection was taking a toll on his body, he could see it in the way he carried himself. 

“I know this is scary,” James said. “But I don’t want to fight with you now.” 

Aleks’ eyes softened at this, his mouth which has been pressed into a thin line smoothed out, his cupid’s bow flushed deep red. “I know, I don’t either.” 

His eyes were what worried James the most. They were the eyes of someone who knew more than he did – the eyes of someone that were heavy with a burden no one else could understand. 

James sighed and moved over to where Aleks sat, his back pressed up against a radiator that had long since given up putting off heat. If anything, the metal was cold and unforgiving beneath his touch, the opposite of what it was meant to be. 

He sat behind Aleks, taking his back away from the cold metal and replacing it with his own. He let his head rest on one of Aleks’ slight shoulders and wrapped his arms around Aleks’ bent knees, letting out a soft breath of air that rustled the hairs at the nape of Aleks’ neck. 

“We’ll be fine,” James said quietly. “So please rest, even if it’s just for a bit.” 

Aleks seemed to tense at James coaxing him toward sleep again, but his shoulders dropped suddenly as he realized he was fighting a losing battle. Staying up would only hurt him in the end, and he knew that. So Aleks let out a small breath of air before pressing his head to James’ warm chest. His heart was beating steadily, and it was comforting as his own heart hadn’t been beating normally for months. 

When Aleks’ let his eyes slipped closed, he lost consciousness only seconds after. 

\-----

After some quiet hours of disturbed sleep and Aleks gentle breathing, he looked down at the notebook that Aleks had left lying on the floor a foot away from them. 

He looked away and continued absently brushing Aleks’ baby fine hairs with his fingers before the notebook caught his attention once again. It was begging to be read, and Aleks never told him not to look. 

This was his chance. 

James sat quietly with Aleks slipping in and out of sleep before he could no longer keep his eyes off of the notebook that seemed to be boring holes through him. 

James clicked his tongue and bit his bottom lip, doing his best not to wake Aleks as he moved from behind him. 

It only took a second for James to reach the notebook, his hands clasping the frayed journal tight in his dirt caked hands. He almost felt like this was something he shouldn’t look at – he felt like everything would change after reading the contents. 

Aleks said it would explain everything, after all. 

James opened the journal. 

He didn’t know what he had been expecting when he opened the notebook, but it hadn’t been this. What covered the pages scared him more than any words could. These were not letters he was familiar with, but they scaled the page like they were meant to be read. 

“What the fuck,” James whispered under his breath as he turned page after page, being met with the same thing. 

He felt panic rising once again. Just when things had been beginning to look up, he was hit with this. 

Why did Aleks give him this? 

James flipped through the pages over and over again, so caught up in his own worries that he hadn’t heard Aleks shuffling over. He looked down at what James was doing curiously, stopping his hands from flipping the pages to get a better look at what James was so worried about. 

Then Aleks stopped. 

“I didn’t write this,” he said, panic laced through his voice. “I didn’t write something like this.”

James’ brows furrowed, “you told me you wrote this, you showed me exactly where you had it hidden. There’s no way you didn’t write this, Aleks. No one else would have left something there.” 

Aleks shook his head, “what the hell is this?” He snatched the journal out of James’ hands and began scanning the pages on his own, as if that would help them any. “No, no, I remember specifically marking down what I remembered from the hospital. I know I heard things and I know I wrote them down to show people.” 

“Why can’t you just tell me what those things were then? What’s the point of this?” 

Aleks’ face blanched. “I- I don’t remember. I can’t explain it to-” 

“Yet you remember running from Luke and doing this?” James asked. “How did you remember all that but not what you wrote on these pages. Aleks this might be really important.” 

Aleks looked down, biting his thumb, “I – I don’t even know how I remembered that. The memories aren’t right.” Aleks shook his head, his eyes wide, “there’s something wrong here.”

“They’re your memories, Aleks. Of course they’re right.” 

“No, it’s like I’m looking at someone else’s memories. It doesn’t feel like me. Something is wrong here.” 

“Calm down,” James said. “Relax, we’ll figure this out.” 

“Fuck if I’m going to just ‘relax’ James, what the hell is going on with me? What the hell is going on with me?”

“Aleks, I don’t know, look-”

“Stop it,” Aleks said. He crumpled to the ground on his knees, his clammy palms pressed over each of his eyes. “Stop it, just stop it.” 

James reached over to grab Aleks’ shoulder, concerned, but he stopped himself when he realized that Aleks’ angry outburst just then wasn’t directed at him. Before he became unreasonably angry with Aleks over something he had little to no control over, he crouched down beside him and grabbed him by both of his shoulders. 

He tried to make eye contact with him but Aleks was in no place to be able to do that. His attention seemed to be taken by something else, something else James couldn’t see or hear. This was all in Aleks’ mind. 

Did it have something to do with the strange writing in the notebook? That was the real question James wanted to ask of him. He knew, however, that Aleks was in no place to be answering questions. 

When he seemed to calm down some, James let his hands slide off of Aleks’ shoulders and down his upper arms, grazing against the rough fabric of his shirt. 

James tried to grab Aleks under his chin to get him to look up at him, and Aleks, to James’ surprise, complied. He lifted his head with the gentle sweep of James’ fingers, staring back at James with a hurt expression on his face. He looked like someone that was completely and utterly defeated by everything around him. 

James brushed his hands over Aleks’ soft cheeks, his thumbs resting in the divots in his jaw. 

“You’re ok,” James said. “It’s ok.” 

Aleks nodded his head weakly, tears surfacing on his lids despite James’ reassuring words. James knew that Aleks didn’t believe that, but he didn’t have the energy to argue with him anymore. 

“Just sleep some more,” James said. “We’ll leave in the morning.” 

Aleks eyes widened, “we can’t.” 

“What?” James asked. “Aleks, we can’t go outside in the night-”

“Luke is coming,” Aleks said as he stood from the ground, pulling his face away from James’ calloused hands as he did so. 

“There’s no way he got out of there and there’s no way he’d come after us at night, so let’s just calm down for a second.” 

“No,” Aleks said. “Why don’t you trust me, for once?” 

James bit his lip. 

“The Larkspur want nothing to do with us,” Aleks said. “So, let’s go. Please, I told you Canada was safe, so let’s go.” 

There was a moment where James considered seriously saying no to him, particularly after that strange outburst, but he knew he needed to listen to him, now more than ever. Aleks knew far more than he did about what was actually going on. He needed to follow Aleks. He wanted to follow Aleks. 

What would he do without him? 

“Let’s go then.” 

“I’ll keep protecting you, no matter where we go. If you think we should leave, then we should leave.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ◞᷄દ◟᷅ ) I have returned! I know this chapter is late af but I got really anxious about how I wanted to end the very last chapter. I had three different endings to choose from, and after going over them each several hundred times I actually ended up sticking with the one that I thought I wouldn't actually choose. It's a little... odd... but I believe that it would be the only "right" way to end this series. I feel like the other two would be unfulfilling and leave a lot hanging, but this one will wrap it all up indefinitely. 
> 
> Warning note, it makes sense to me but i feel like everything is going to hit you guys all at once and might seem a little silly. I desperately hope not, but we shall see! 
> 
> {I know this chapter was long as heckie, but I must warn you that the next one will probably be even longer. Some serious stuff goes down. I promise it will get more interesting after this.}


End file.
